DISCLAIMER: I dont own Alice In Wonderland, if I did there would be makeout scenes here and there lol
Songfic I think I'm Ready by Katy Perry
Summary: This happens at the same time as "Crazier when I'm next to Her" my fic with Hatter's POV. So this is What Alice thinks about while she's away and why she decides to come back.
I'm used to opening my own doors and splitting the checks
He introduced me, was always just a friend
I bought a new dress, he never noticed
Always falling for these bad boys, such a challenge
I'm getting tired, of cleaning up after them
I think I'm ready to be a woman
Oh love, I think I'm ready
Ready for it
It has been a few weeks since I left The Hat… Underland and I am once again starting to feel trapped. Preparations for China are being made, and there are so many plans and schedules I have to follow, it's starting to make me quite mad. I giggle at the thought of The Hatter, but quickly move his face to the back of my mind. I can't be distracted now, I have a lot of questions that need answers, and the more I think about Underland the more unlikely I am to get them.
Mother and Margaret have once again started on the idea of setting me up with a Bachelor. This week would be Lord Lawrence Clayworth. I am to meet him in the garden in an hour, and I am giving myself as long as ten minutes to indulge in conversation as to not be rude, before I turn him down politely and go back to my mother and sister and explain (again) that I marriage is not something important to me at the moment. Last week it was another, Lord James Young, and it was the same routine; small talk, politely turn him down, and give my Mother and sister "the talk." To be quite honest I was never as adamant about declining such offers until I came back from Underland. When I was asked by Hamish, I knew in my mind the answer was a resounding NO, but I was also very confused and did not know whether to just go along with it to make my family happy or if I should just do what society asks of me. But lately, I feel as though I really don't care of anyone else's opinion. It's not like I'm completely against the idea of marriage, but I would rather marry someone of my own choosing, out of love and not status. I guess being in Underland gave me more courage than I thought. Or maybe it was something the Queen had told me before I left…
Either way, I'm not backing down. I'm going to get prepared for my new adventure and no amount of "Eligible Bachelors" will change my mind.
"You could stay…"
A sigh escapes my lips as I am once again plagued by that memory. Why does that memory bother me so? Hatter is good friend and it would have been great to stay and be with all of them but I needed answers. So why do I keep seeing that look every time I close my eyes? Would it have been better if I had given him a proper goodbye? I did say I was going back, and I meant it. But remembering those sad eyes… I let out another sigh as I once again move the thought to the back of my mind. 'Don't worry good friend, I will get my answers and I will be back soon'
You were such a surprise
An unexpected gift
Said I was pretty, and I believed it
Not really used to all this attention
Told myself I don't deserve you
And this is just a phase
Could I get used to, being loved the right way?
I wanna argue, but there is nothing to say
I wake up with a start and jump from my bed as I was once again having the same dream.
"You won't remember me"
Why do I keep having that same dream? I have been in traveling between China and India for some time now and the adventure has been wonderful, but every night it's always the same dream. During the day I attend to the business and help Lord Ascot as his apprentice and my mind is cluttered with information, plans, and meetings. But the minute night falls and I am once again back in my quarters, I cannot think of anything but Underland. I miss them dearly, The Flowers, The Cat, even Mally. I giggle at the thought of what they might be doing at the moment, The Hare throwing any utensil on hand, The Tweedles arguing, McTwisp Nervously glancing at his pocket watch, The Hatter sitting on his chair at the head of the table. That's when the giggles stop and I start feeling something heavy in my chest. I truly miss them all but why is it that when I think of him I feel uneasy? He was just a friend like everyone else, although I suppose he is a better friend than Mally, or Absolem. We did get quite close, and I suppose if he hadn't been there to help I wouldn't have slayed the Jabberwocky. But that's just it; he is my friend, nothing more. Right?
I lie back down and hope sleep comes soon. I let out an exasperated sigh as I finally let my thoughts roam. It's been at least a year and a half since I left Underland, but when I close my eyes I see him so vividly, like it happened yesterday. Why do I keep dreaming about the Hatter? Why do I feel so sad when I remember his eyes? Could I be feeling something for him? I laugh nervously, it's been almost two years, any small crush should have been gone by now shouldn't it? I gasp at the thought that what I am feeling might be something more. 'Impossible' I say under my breath.
"Only if you believe it is"
I smile slowly at my realization. It couldn't be… I would have to be sure.
Oh love, I think I'm ready
Ready for it
Ready for it
Oh love, I think I'm ready
It has been another week since I came to know my true feelings for the Hatter, and although I don't understand how it happened or why, I am determined to go back. I have already gotten my answers and fulfilled my father's dream. Now I have a new set of questions that this world doesn't have the answer to. I am still confused and I don't know what he would say to me when I come back, but I have already convinced myself that I will go back, and be with him, and if what he wants is a friend then that's what I will be, so long as I am near the one I lo… I blush at the thought of saying it out loud, so maybe I won't say it, just yet.
Cuz you send me flowers, when there's no occasion
Yeah we talk for hours, you still wanna listen
Won't hold it against me if I just need you to hold me tonight
I sit in front of my mirror brushing my hair. Making sure I look presentable. I laugh at the idea because I don't usually care for my looks. What has this man have over me? I ask myself suppressing a laugh. I feel a hundred Absolems flying around in my stomach, and I want nothing more than to just lie down and think things through one more time; Am I making a big mistake? I brush off the idea and get up to look at myself in the mirror one more time. I had already said my goodbyes to Lord Ascot and the others, and I have also written a letter to my family that has been entrusted to Lord Ascot explaining what I need to do. (I did leave out a few pieces of information like Where exactly I'm going and Who I'm going to)
With everything said and done, I take one last look at my quarters as I pull out the vial of Jabberwocky blood from a small jewelry box on the dresser. I look at myself in the mirror one more time and sighed out loud before I brought the Vial to my lips. 'I must be mad' I say as I feel the purple liquid travel down my throat.
My mother always told me that you'd show up one day
So scared to feel this way but love, I think I'm ready
Ready for it
Ready for it
I find myself once again in the Wonderland of my dreams. I am standing on a familiar path, and I know where it leads. It is night and my mind can't help but think of how stupid I felt at the moment; what if he's asleep? What if he isn't even here? What if he is in Marmoreal and I would have to wait hours before I can see him? My mind was rambling through a thousand questions when I see a grin form in front of me.
"Cheshire Cat!"
"Well well if it isn't our Champion" he purred. "It's about time you came back"
"I have missed all of you so!"
"I see you are following this path… You do know where it leads to?" he said with a sly grin
"I think I might be terribly late for a Mad Tea Party!" I blush
"I can lead the way if you would like, like old times" he said as he disappeared and reappeared a few feet ahead.
I can finally see the clearing and I can hear Cheshire and a familiar voice whispering to each other. My heart skips a beat as I come closer out of the bushes. I see Cheshire evaporate once more, and My Hatter sitting alone at the head of the table mumbling to himself. My heart jumps to my throat and a now a million Absolems are flying around in my stomach as I step out from behind the bush.
He peers at me from under his wonderful hat and I once again see the green eyes that have been haunting my dreams for the past year and a half.
"Hatter?"
Oh love, I think I'm ready
Ready for it
Ready for it
Oh love, I think I'm ready