Alright, welcome to my first venture into Frozen fic writing! Long oneshot ahead, a bit of an experiment for myself to see if I could get the characters right, so drop me a note, yeah?
Uhm...not much else to say, think I covered it all.
Oh! I don't own Frozen. Blah blah copyright blah not mine blah blah wish it was though blah.
She never could have guessed that the conversation that would change everything for the better – the best, actually – would start so angrily and nearly fracture everything they had worked so hard for. Would almost end the best thing to happen to her – to either of them – before it truly had the chance to begin.
Whoops...she was getting ahead of herself.
She supposed she should start from the beginning. Well, her name was Anna, Anna Fjӕr, and she had been born in Norway and raised by her uncle and aunt, Kai and Gerda. She was seventeen, went to the local high school with her long time friend Kristoff Bjorgman. His two year old yellow lab-husky mix, Sven, loved to give her slobbery kisses whenever she came over, which was often.
She had two cats, white siamese twins by the names of Olaf and Marshmallow, who were...healthy. Ish. Healthy-ish, as long as one ignored their swaying bellies. It wasn't like she was going to feed them a cup of food every day, she wasn't heartless. Only allowing a certain amount of food was blasphemous, almost as not having chocolate at least once a week….maybe even twice if she felt like treating herself! Speaking of food, she was planning on going onto culinary school, and wanted to open her own cafe someday.
She was friends – now lovers – with a woman who used to be an angel.
No, she wasn't delusional. Anna knew that much, at least. Believe her, she had pinched herself, hard, the first time she laid eyes on the girl she stumbled across. She was beautiful, perfect, absolutely stunn – whoops, she was rambling.
Ahem.
A recap of the day they met seemed to be in order.
Anna had been walking Sven one night when Kristoff had to stay after school for practice. He was tugging excitedly at his leash, nearly dragging her even when she dug her heels against the cement, and whining as he urgently strained toward the trees off the path. "Gah, Sven, what the heck? C'mon, you already went, I know your bladder isn't that small!"
The overactive dog just whipped his tail excitedly back and forth against her leg and pulled again, and Anna gave in with a good natured groan. "Alright! But I swear, if there's a squirrel or something over there, you're not getting a treat when we get back!" He dragged her through the brush and his ears perked, his steps lengthened until he was trotting quickly and Anna had to run to keep up.
"Dammit, slow down you fu – whoa." Just behind a stand of young trees was a pile of white...something, that twitched and shuddered. Sven pitched forward suddenly and yanked the leash from Anna's hand, racing toward the pile. "Sven, stop!" She chased him but he was already nosing the….feathers?
"What the hell? Sven, get back here!" The dog ignored her, his muzzle disappeared beneath the large feathers, and he made a low, curious sound in his throat. "Come here, we don't know what that is!" Anna startled when the pile shifted and groaned suddenly and Sven barked excitedly as he nuzzled it again. A pale, bloodstained hand reached from beneath the feathers and petted him briefly, then laid limply on the ground.
Anna gaped for a second and then fell to her knees beside the covered figure and her hands hovered uncertainly over feathers which also seemed flecked with blood drops. "Where do I..." Sven nosed helpfully at a small gap in the feathers and Anna cautiously stuck her hand in, shivering as softness fluttered across the back of her palm. She paused when she felt skin beneath the pads of her fingers and took a deep breath. "Alright, calm down, it's just...a weird costume or something. Or strange clothes or..."
The feathers shuddered and suddenly Anna was buffeted by a strong gust of wind. She fell backwards with a rather comical flail of her limbs, auburn braids whipping around her head and obscuring her vision. Sven barked madly and she saw-
Wings?
Sure enough, wings had unfurled slightly, the tiny lesser coverts that covered the top of them fluffed out in aggression. Between them, a tall, regal looking figure stood rigidly, features twisted with rage and pain.
Anna gaped at the woman. With pale, nearly snowy skin, aquiline, streamlined features, a thick white braid hanging over her shoulder, and luminous blue eyes, she seemed impossible and cold, frigid, a regal statue of some sort. Actually….nope, the temperature's actually dropping. And me without my coat, Anna thought as she shivered. The wind continued to blow around them, cycloning until dirt and debris formed a sort of wall around the trio of creatures. Anna glanced around nervously, the woman continued to stare murderously, and Sven….he took a step toward the woman, tail waving slowly through the air.
"Sven, no! Come here!" Anna thoughtlessly took a step toward him to grab his collar and the woman reacted violently. She recoiled like she had been slapped and her wings snapped out fully. They beat down like she was going to take off, and she actually rose a few inches off the ground before crumpling with a cry. Anna rushed forward, first grabbing Sven's collar and then closing the distance between herself and the woman, heedless of her previous caution.
She's injured, it doesn't matter.
But...wings!
How does that even work? Are they, like, real – maybe she's an experiment, escaped and on the run!
Or maybe I'm hallucinating. Can too much fresh air make you delusional? Is there such a thing as 'too much fresh air?' Questions for later.
Anna hit her knees again and her hand rested gently on the woman's shoulder. She could feel the tension and power beneath her palms as muscles coiled under pale skin and rubbed her thumb soothingly across it. "Hey, are you alright? Did you hurt yourself, do you need a-"
The woman scrambled away, foreign sounds bursting from her lips as she slid back on her hands, eyes wide.
Anna held her hands up, voice low and calming even though her own turquoise eyes were tight with tension. "Hey, hey, it's alright. I won't hurt you, I just want to help. Well, as much as I can, I mean, you've got fuckin' wings. That's not even – I don't even know how that's possible, and I'm still not really convinced I'm not dreaming or hallucinating, but-"
She pinched herself in the crook of her elbow and yelped, rubbing the sore spot gingerly. "Okay, not dreaming. Unless this is one of those freaky, super-realistic hyper-whatever dreams. But that still wouldn't make sense, 'cause I don't dream of stuff like this."
Anna didn't notice but, as she rambled, the woman's shoulders slowly lowered and she shifted onto her knees. She crawled forward a ways, wingtips dragging through the dirt, and the cyclone died down to nothing. Sven strained against Anna's grip, worried brown eyes locked on the woman's figure, and glowing blue eyes looked over at him. He whined and a strained, pained smile ghosted across her lips, which were barely darker than her skin. Anna suddenly stopped speaking and the woman froze, one arm extended for balance as she crouched, caught in her cautious crawl toward the redhead.
She made a quiet sound and spoke – at least, Anna assumed they were words, even though she didn't know what she was saying – briefly, and Anna was mesmerized by the sound of her voice. She shook her head regretfully when the sounds stopped, chewing her lip. "I don't know what you're saying, I'm sorry. I don't understand." The woman canted her head to the side and spoke again, the same sounds coming out of her mouth more slowly. When Anna only shook her head once more, she sighed in frustration and pursed her lips.
A few seconds later, she slowly crept closer and Anna froze as she came within arms' reach. Long fingers reached up and cupped her jaw, the other hand curling behind her neck, and her face drew closer. "Whaaaat are y-" The scent of mint filled her nose, then her mouth, as lips briefly met her own and withdrew just as quickly as they came. Anna gaped at the woman, who had pulled away and was now staring through her, eyes flicking back and forth as though she were reading something hanging in the air between them.
"I – I am – in need of help."
Anna, tongue still tingling with the aftertaste of mint and frost, somehow, opened and shut her jaw soundlessly, and the woman's eyes narrowed in frustration. "You understand, correct?"
Sven's nose wetly nudged Anna's hand and she shook herself from her daze. "I – yeah, no, I understand you now!" Sven looked between them and sniffed the woman's shoulder, then leaned into her and sighed contently. "Sven, stop it, she doesn't need you-"
"It's alright." The woman smiled a little and closed her eyes as she petted Sven's head, scratching between his ears and trailing fingers down his neck to his chest. Sven grunted and leaned harder into her when she rubbed the arch of his chest, tail thumping against the ground. "I like animals."
Anna saw red flecks, glaring against the otherwise unmarred skin, and her gaze trailed up to a wide gash on the woman's shoulder that still gleamed wetly, and many other smaller marks that covered the surrounding skin. Her feathers, likewise, were ragged and bloody, the wings twitching as each heartbeat made them pulse painfully. "You're hurt!"
The woman startled and luminous – truly, honestly glowing – blue eyes met hers. "Yes?"
"You need a doctor!"
She shook her head and tucked her wings closer to her body, wincing as the ragged wounds were irritated. "Only time."
"But-"
"You can help also, but that is all."
"But I – how?" Anna's head canted to the side, much the same as Sven's when she stopped petting him, although his expression was wanting while Anna's was curious, and the woman's lips twitched in a smile.
"Come here." Anna scooted toward her and the woman took her hand. "I could use your – life?" Anna's expression became panicked and the woman backpedaled. "Not life life, your vis – your energy? Nothing….damaging, I promise." Anna chewed on her lip and nodded slowly. Immediately, she felt a curious tingling sensation running along her arm, through her body until it felt like a million ants were crawling under her skin. She shifted on the ground and the woman smile apologetically. "You will feel tired afterward, drained. But...it's not dangerous. Just a way to hasten healing."
Anna nodded and focused on the eyes still boring into her, on the slender fingers tapping over the back of her hand. "So...since we're close enough to share energy already, care to share your name? I'm Anna Fjӕr."
The woman blinked and sat silently for a long moment, studying their hands and the difference between her skin tone and Anna's lightly freckled skin. "Elsa."
Anna grinned and relaxed further, pulling a leg up and curling her free arm around it so she could rest her chin on her knee. "It's nice to meet you, Elsa. Well, maybe not nice for you, since you're hurt and all, but I hope I can help, even though I don't really know what exactly's going on."
Elsa let Anna ramble, taking small amounts of her vis – the latent strength that humans couldn't normally access unless under great stress – and feeling her wounds knit themselves together. Her skin prickled as the accelerated healing continued, but she slowly regained the slight color she'd lost and soon enough – almost too soon, her mind oddly thought – she released Anna's hand and stood. Anna scrambled to her feet, and Sven perked his ears, staring up at them both.
Up close, their differences were more noticeable. Outside of the obvious, the temperature differences and odd eye color, Elsa was also oddly thin looking despite being taller than Anna was – five feet four inches, thank you – but even though she was almost waifishly skinny, there was obvious muscle tone, especially in her arms and shoulders. Her bare, perfectly flawless arms and shoulders and, wow, were those freckles there that Anna spied?
"Huh." Elsa cocked her eyebrow and Anna flushed when she realized she'd been caught staring. "Sorry! Sorry, I was just, uhm, yeah….sorry." She rubbed the back of her neck and Elsa smiled lopsidedly.
"Thank you for sharing of yourself, Anna."
And Anna couldn't have stopped the warm feeling blossoming in her chest just from the way Elsa said her name if she had held a gun to her head. She smiled and Elsa returned it, although a smaller one, then spread her wings and crouched lowly, springing into the air and beating her wings powerfully. She disappeared from sight quickly and left Anna staring into the sky with a faraway expression, Sven sitting forlornly beside her with his ears drooping and sad eyes locked above.
Their less than average introduction left a lasting impression on Anna. She caught herself staring into the sky more often afterward, wondering if she had somehow managed to conjure the whole encounter up in her admittedly sometimes overactive imagination.
The overnight appearance of a thick streak of white in her bangs only a week after the incident convinced her.
She stared at the color, so obviously different than her auburn locks, and touched it carefully. "How am I gonna explain this away," she muttered to herself.
Turned out, Kai and Gerda weren't even home that morning, so she had the day to think of an excuse – one that involved Kristoff, a baking tin, water and bleach that somehow exploded, by the way – and they were mostly fine with it anyway, other than worrying about her damaging her hair. "It's fine, Aunt Gerda, really. It's just a little bit." And she hoped it would stay that way, too.
The next time they met, Anna was again walking through the park, but this time by herself. Her hands were stuffed deeply into the pockets of her thick jacket to ward off the arctic chill that danced on the brisk October winds, nose red and cheeks raw from….well, she'd get to that.
She sniffled and wiped at her cheeks again, wincing as they stung, and buried her nose beneath her zipped collar once more. "I hate them…." She kicked a rock on the path and felt the tears rising in her eyes once more, cruel taunts echoing in her ears. "Fucking people….who needs any of them? That shit's for middle school, not almost adults, dammit." A few tears spilled over and she wiped angrily at them.
Overhead, a speck flew into view and her eyes slowly tracked the snowy colored raven that was lazily circling overhead.
That's odd.
The bird dove suddenly and swooped low over her, landing on a branch that hung just out of reach. Its head cocked to the side and it warbled at her quietly, familiar glowing blue eyes trained on her. "Hello, pretty bird," Anna said, smiling shakily. It puffed its breast out, and Anna noticed a glint of purple half buried in the white feathers there. It fluffed out its feathers and, between one instant and the next, was replaced by Elsa's form.
"Hello, Anna."
"Elsa, hi!" Anna' smiled, although it didn't quite meet her eyes, and Elsa frowned. She jumped from the branch to the ground, her large flight feathers only slightly ruffled, and walked slowly to Anna. She wouldn't meet Elsa's eyes, instead focusing her gaze on the pendant swaying over her clavicle, a purple crocus that stood out in sharp relief against her skin. She felt cool fingers under her chin and her head was tilted back slowly.
"Why are you crying?"
"I wasn't-"
"I can see the tear tracks." Elsa's thumb ghosted beneath her eye and the redhead squeezed her eyes shut, pressing her cheek closer for a moment as the cool sensation soothed her raw skin.
"Just….people suck, you know?"
Elsa canted her head to the side – and if she hadn't still been so angry and hurt by all the stupid things they'd said, Anna could have laughed at the uncanny similarities between Elsa's human and avian forms, down to the way her eyes glinted – and her brows furrowed in confusion.
"They say mean things and, it's not like I haven't heard it before, but Kristoff's usually there to keep me occupied so I don't go into a funk but he was sick today so I was by myself which doesn't usually bug me either, but I just…." Her breath hitched and a few tears escaped between her closed lids. "I wish I was brave enough to tell them to shove off. But, I-I...I'm not."
She was barely whispering by the end and her cheeks were damp again, and she took the last step needed to bury her face against Elsa's shoulder. She felt the blonde stiffen, but her arms came up to fold her closer despite her unease. Anna shivered as a cold wind gusted across the path and jumped when she felt feathers brush across her cheek. One turquoise eye peeked out from an unblemished and – surprise of surprises – cool shoulder and Anna marveled at the pure whiteness that surrounded them.
She lifted her head, mouth slightly gaping, and reached slowly with one hand to ghost her fingertips across the large, soft looking flight feathers within her reach. Elsa froze as her fingertips disappeared into her plumage, disturbing their alignment and setting her on edge. No one, but no one, touched her wings, or feathers, or the joint where her wings met her back, or even came close enough to touch her, really.
Except this one human, apparently, she thought with a resigned little sigh. Her wings trembled as Anna's fingers brushed carefully through the smaller feathers near the bone, and she abruptly moved away when the redhead withdrew her hand.
Anna looked confused, then apologetic as she took in Elsa's stiff posture and wary expression. "I'm sorry, I don't always think before I do things, or talk, somedays. I guess I need to work on it. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I should have remembered that you didn't like being close to others, I wasn't tr-"
"It's fine." Despite her strained smile, Elsa was being truthful.
It is fine, it actually felt rather….nice. Is that what nice feels like? I wonder what happy feels like….Questions for later.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, Anna." And Elsa definitely noticed the dazed expression that crossed Anna's face when she said her name, and filed that little tidbit away for dissection at a later time. "Will you….be alright now?"
"Yeah, I think I will." Anna tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and Elsa suddenly noticed the white stripe that had bleached a portion of her bangs.
"What happened?" As Anna explained, the blonde felt a pit in her stomach, yawning and threatening to consume her, and she stumbled back a few steps, her wings beating automatically to help her balance herself on suddenly unsteady legs.
"Elsa? Are you a-"
"I have to go." With a powerful surge, she was airborne, and the rush of wind past her ears drowned out Anna calling her name.
And Anna, even as oblivious as she could sometimes be – like how she never knew that Hans was just being an asshole when he asked her out until he didn't show up for their date the night before – knew that something about the white shock of hair had set the blonde off, somehow managed to literally ruffle her feathers and put her otherwise austere emotions on edge.
Their new dynamic continued for….oh, about five more months, Anna guessed. Every time they met, Elsa reacted one of two ways. She was either stiff and formal to the point of being distant, or she was….not really warm, but definitely more personable, more approachable. Kind of like an abominable snowman, only without the abominable part. Can an abominable snowman still be called abominable if he….she….they aren't….abominable? I'm rambling again. Anna thought about her new friend – she hoped they were friends by this point, oh she hoped so – often nowadays. Almost obsessively so. Not obsessive, it's not like I have a shrine to her in my room or anything….okay, maybe I have a few pictures on my phone, but!….
"It's only a few," she mumbled to herself.
"A few what, feisty pants?"
Anna startled, having forgotten Kristoff was walking home with her. "Oh, ahm, ah, a few books! That's all, just a few books!"
Her friend glanced over at her and shrugged. Just normal Anna, she'll always be a little spazzy. "Alright. Here's you, Anna."
She stood on her tiptoes to brush his scruffy cheek and waved cheerfully once she reached the porch. "Bye, Kristoff! I'll see you tomorrow!" He waved and began the couple minute walk to his house at the end of the block, and Anna slid inside.
There was no one home – again – so she dumped her bag by the couch and flopped bonelessly onto it. It's not like she was just going to lay there – maybe a few minutes – but she didn't want to do her homework, it was just so tedious. "Uuuurrggghh." Anna grumbled and dragged herself off the couch, picked up her bookbag and stumbled up the stairs to her room, where she uncermoniously flopped onto her bed and laid there for several long minutes. She heard a quiet tap-tap-tap at her window and shot upright.
"Who?-"
There was another burst of tapping, along with a glimpse of white through the glass, and Anna tripped over herself, and her bag, on her way to open it. "Elsa! Hi!" The blonde maneuvered herself through the flung open window and landed less than gracefully in a flurry of feathers, legs, and elbows. Anna giggled, tittered actually, on the verge of full blown laughter until she faced a single, narrow, glowing eye.
"Oops."
Elsa cracked a smile as she righted herself, letting one wing flutter lazily behind her and drawing the other in front to straighten her feathers and pick debris from them. Anna shut the window and flopped onto the ground beside her, hesitantly plucking a twig from between two feathers. They sat in silence, preening Elsa's feathers with only the quiet wind outside breaking the silence.
This is….nice. Again. I feel nice with Anna often, I think. And sometimes something else, something more, somehow. Maybe happy? Elsa winced as a particularly stubborn twig remained lodged between her feathers, and startled when Anna appeared close by. Very close.
"Here, let me try." Her hand covered Elsa's for a second before she removed it, then the blonde watched Anna stick her tongue out in concentration as she gently pushed the feathers away and pulled the twig out. Her eyes caught on the shock of white that had just begun to streak further into her hair, and her gut twisted abruptly.
I've heard of this….this is anxiety. I don't like this feeling.
As Anna smoothed her feathers, lingering on the edge of her coverts, her hand warmed the muscles in her wing and the heat spread to her back, along her spine, and she shivered. Elsa forced herself to stay still, to let Anna explore to her content, and gradually, ever so slowly, relaxed under her curious hands. Eventually, Elsa sat slumped against the bed with one wing limp on the floor and the other stretched comfortably so Anna could feel each muscle twitching under her palm and the way the feathers fell over each other.
"Whoa….this is so amazing."
Elsa felt a burst of….something...in her chest. Warmth, heat….joy? The feelings were coming more frequently anymore, and her emotional range only seemed to get larger with every visit to the redhead. Pretty soon….the choice will be taken away from me. I need to figure this out, quickly. She stared at the white streak in Anna's hair again and thoughtlessly reached out to stroke it. Anna froze, and Elsa almost pulled her hand back.
Almost.
Until she felt pressure where there hadn't been any before, and Anna's eyes closed, and she sighed contently. Elsa relaxed and slowly carded her fingers through the wavy strands of hair, marveling at their texture and the faint scent of Anna's shampoo.
And once again, they formed new habits with each other. Nearly every time Elsa visited now, she would let Anna preen her feathers, play with the soft, ticklish coverts that covered sinew and bone and muscle, twitching every time her fingers found a sensitive spot. And Anna would allow Elsa the privilege – in the blonde's own, conscientious mind – of running her fingers through her hair, to play with the thick, silky strands, and wonder what to do about the thickening streak of white that had now nearly reached the end of one braid.
Anna was slowly breaching Elsa's walls, inching her way through them so slowly, subtly, carefully, that the blonde never even noticed until, one day, she suddenly found her lap filled with an energetic redhead who was happily greeting her, and wondered how it had happened, and how she was so comfortable with it. Anna had planted herself directly in Elsa's lap, arms and legs wrapped around her in a way that wouldn't allow easy – if any – movement, and was chattering in her ear about her day.
"And, oh! We got to see the lion cubs, they were so cute! They tumbled over each other and tried to bite their mom's tail, and she just flicked it away from them!" Anna giggled and the warmth from her breath washed across Elsa's ear and she froze. Her heart pounded like she had flown through a storm, her cheeks flared with heat, and her grip tightened suddenly around Anna's waist.
Why are my hands on her hips? Bad fingers, stop moving, bad hands! Her fingers were willful though, holding Anna more tightly even though she tried to force them away through sheer will.
"Elsa?"
Elsa choked out a questioning hum, trying to ignore the clench in her belly, an utterly new and completely overwhelming sensation that put her on edge with its suddenness and severity. Am I dying? This doesn't feel like dying, it feels like…heat. Curling and twisting in my stomach…
"I've been thinking…." Anna twisted a braid around her finger and pulled back far enough to look Elsa in the eyes. "I….are we friends?"
Elsa blinked. "Friends?"
"Yeah, I mean, if you don't think we are, that's fine, I won't be offended or anything. I was just curious, not pushing or anything, I wouldn't do that to y-"
Elsa quirked a smile as Anna rambled and impulsively moved in to press her lips to a warm cheek. She lingered uncertainly as Anna's breaths came faster, more shallow. Fingers tightened around her shoulders, digging in almost painfully, until Elsa pulled back. "You were rambling, I didn't know how else to stop it." Anna stared at her with wide turquoise eyes, then they curved as she beamed and leaned in peck Elsa's cheek in return.
Elsa remained somewhat shy, quiet and reserved with her emotions, after that day, but in other ways, she was more open.
Like with her kisses, Anna thought dreamily. She never minds kissing my cheeks or forehead, and her lips always feel so cool and smooth. I wonder how they would feel on my lips? She had long come to the conclusion that her infatuation with Elsa went a little deeper than friendly interest. I mean, she's gorgeous, it'd be impossible not to feel something for her after all this time.
Of course, by the time Anna realized the depth of her feelings, nearly a year had passed since the first time she'd met Elsa. None of her friends or family had met her. I mean, that'd be a sure way to end up in a mental hospital or on the wrong end of some mad scientist's knife. Nope. Nope nope nope. She shook her head decisively, disturbing the snowflakes that had landed in her hair and sending her braids whipping around her ears wildly.
"You know, that seems counter-productive to staying warm."
"Well, if you were doing your job," Anna shot back, sticking her tongue out petulantly. Elsa chuckled behind her hand and rolled her eyes playfully, then unfurled her wing and Anna was encased again in warmth and blinding whiteness. She sighed happily and tucked herself up against Elsa's side, taking her arm in her grasp and holding it close. "You know, I still don't understand this whole 'cold never bothering me, anyway' business. I mean, it's like, twenty degrees out! I'm wearing a friggin' jacket and gloves, and you're prancing around out here in a dress. A dress! And flats!"
"Okay, first, I'm not prancing anywhere. I don't prance, period. Secondly, I explained this to you, Anna. My magic," and she demonstrated with a flurry of snowflakes that burst from her fingertips and settled in Anna's hair, "allows me to handle cold temperatures much better than you."
"Yeah, but it still sounds….weird." Anna wrinkled her nose and Elsa smiled fondly. Speaking of weird things, Elsa had been smiling recently….a lot. Not weird in a bad way! Definitely not; she's got a beautiful smile, and it makes her eyes….wow.
Anna stared at Elsa with a dazed expression, and said eyes became curious, then confused, then embarrassed. "Anna?"
"So pretty….huh?"
"Uhm, you were staring. At me. Is there something….wrong?"
"Wrong? No, no, nothing's wrong! Nothing at all! Ignore me, it's just awkward – not you, you're not awkward, I'm awkward, you're gorgeous – wait, what?" Anna's free hand clapped over her traitorous mouth and she tried to back away from Elsa, but found herself trapped within the warm confines of her wings.
Elsa's brow rose steadily on her forehead, a lopsided smile formed on her lips, and she stopped walking. Anna came to a halt, hand still over her mouth and eyes wide in horrified mortification. "Anna, talk to me." The redhead shook her head, braids whipping about her face. Elsa's tone grew stern, her eyes stormy with determination. "Anna." She forcefully pulled Anna's hand from her mouth and stared at her expectantly.
"I-I….uhm, I mean….help?"
Elsa stared into her eyes for long moments and Anna began to squirm uncomfortably in front of her. Should I? She wouldn't say things like that if she didn't mean them, but….this is Anna we're talking about. She says whatever's on her mind, regardless of who she's with. Well, usually.
But what if I'm reading too much into this?
What if I'm not?
She'll be horrified if I misconstrued her meaning.
I'll be devastated if I never take this chance.
Damn these new emotions, and damn myself for finding her. Damn this whole situation.
I have to try.
"Anna….can I try something?" Anna nodded frantically, desperate to get the attention off herself, and Elsa took a steadying breath, her grip tightening on Anna's skin. "Just….don't freak out, alright?"
"Why wou-mmph!" Elsa pressed her lips to Anna's, eyes squeezed tightly shut and hands trembling. Well, actually, everything from her knees up to the tips of her flight feathers were shaking in fear and exhiliration. The heady mixture of emotions made her dizzy as she pulled back, searching Anna's face for a clue as to what to do next. The redhead's lashes fluttered against her cheeks as her eyes slowly opened, a blush deepening the color on her cheeks and bringing her freckles out more prominently. "Elsa?"
Now or never.
"Anna, I have….something to discuss with you. Will you sit with me?" Anna stilled seemed dazed but nodded and let Elsa lead her by the hand to a bench. With a flap of her wings, the fluffy powder was cleared from the seat and she gestured for Anna to sit. Elsa paced in front of her, eyes tight with worry and the remnants of her earlier exhilaration still coursing through her, giving her courage enough to look Anna in the eyes when she spoke. "I – my….species, we don't feel….the same way humans do. Actually, we don't feel at all, emotions don't exist for us, they only complicate things."
"But you've been smiling and laughing and before – Elsa, you kissed me. That's not something you do without some type of feelings."
"I know! I know that, Anna! It's just – there is an exception for emotions for us. The others call it the Joining." Elsa faltered and stopped, wings half extended in anxiety. "They, uhm, they explained it to me, but I never thought I'd ever experience it."
The tips of her flight feathers trembled and Anna stood slowly, moving within arms' reach of the blonde and wrapping her arms around her shoulders. "Hey, it's alright. Relax." Her hand stroked Elsa's back, between her wings joints, and she gripped her jacket tightly to hide the way her hands shook from the sensation.
"Anna, I – they just keep coming, these feelings. I don't know what to do."
"When did they start?"
"….ten months ago."
Anna was quiet, her hand still stroking up and down the length of Elsa's spine absently. "What do you feel?"
"Everything," Elsa said quietly. "There's so much now. I never – never knew humans felt so much. It's overwhelming."
Anna smiled against her temple and nodded. "Yeah, it can be sometimes." She gently pushed Elsa back and stared seriously into her eyes. "Elsa? Can I ask you something?" Elsa nodded slowly, half fearing, half hopeful of what she wanted to know. "What is the Joining?"
Elsa fidgeted and her eyes widened in surprise and the sudden onset of panic. "Oh, uhm, it's, ah…."
She froze when warm hands, bare of their gloves, cupped her cheeks and slightly calloused thumbs rubbed her cheeks soothingly. "Deep breaths. It's just me, no need to be nervous."
"The Joining, it is how…." Elsa seemed frustrated for a moment. "I told you we don't have feelings. But there is one way we can gain them, and only one. Sometimes, we find a certain human who….awakens us. Who makes us feel. Anna, you – you did that for me." Elsa's icy eyes flicked between Anna's, waiting for the spark of understanding to flare in her irises.
Anna's mouth dropped and she blinked rapidly. "I – me?"
"You, Anna. After we met, I felt….happy. And then, every time after, I felt more. And now…."
"Now?" Anna nudged gently.
"Now….now I feel loved."
Tears sprung to Anna's eyes and she flung herself at Elsa, hugging her tightly. They swayed back and forth for a minute, Elsa examining the warmth that curled lazily in her stomach while Anna attempted to get her bearings. "But, why did you kiss me?"
Elsa blushed suddenly but didn't remove herself from Anna's arms. This feels safe. Like nothing can hurt me. But how do I explain?…. "I – it has to do with the Joining. The person who awakens our feelings is also the one who we are meant to Join with."
"Join?"
"Our….partner….romantically."
Anna went still, the words flashing in her head and a dizzying mixture of ecstasy and fear swirling in her head. Romantic?! She feels – for me? But she never – I never-
"You never said anything before."
"I didn't know how….I wasn't even sure if I wanted to accept the Joining. I still don't know if I want to." The last part seemed added unconsciously, Elsa's voice soft and faraway.
Anna reared back like she had been slapped. "You don't know!- What about me, don't I have a say in this? This affects me too, doesn't it?"
Elsa looked away, hands folding defensively over her abdomen and wings half curling around herself. "….it already has."
"What?"
"The white streak in your hair….it's your body responding to the changes in me. It's what alerted me in the first place to what might be happening."
"Elsa! You didn't think that would be something to share?!"
"I didn't ask for it, Anna!" Elsa was suddenly angry, eyes flashing blue fire, and the snow picked up around them. "I didn't ask for you to drop into my life, for theses feelings, for any of it! I didn't want to feel! I didn't want this!"
"Then why did you kiss me?"
"I couldn't help myself!" Elsa clapped her hand over her mouth, eyes wide and wings twitching uneasily.
Anna blinked and took a hesitant step toward the blonde, to be rebuffed as she flinched away. She clenched her fists and narrowed her eyes. "But you don't want the feelings anyway," She hissed. Elsa flinched back again, ducking her head, and the storm intensified more. "You don't want the feelings, but you kiss me anyway because you couldn't help yourself. Without any regard to my feelings, or telling me what was going on."
Anna took two long strides and pushed Elsa hard, anger darkening her eyes to stormy blue. "What if I didn't want you to kiss me, Elsa? What if I was repulsed by it? What would you have done then? Forced me?"
"No, I would never-"
"But you kissed me anyway, because you couldn't help yourself." Again, her words hit Elsa like a slap and she flinched back. "But you know something, Elsa?" The blonde forced herself to meet Anna's gaze. "I did want it, the kiss. I've wanted to kiss you for a while now, but you – you couldn't even ask!"
Anna shoved Elsa roughly with both her hands and she tripped backwards, wings snapping out to balance herself. "I wanted to kiss you, I wanted my feelings, and yours! I wanted to try this with you, see what happened!"
Elsa's arms wrapped closer around herself, her tenuous control of the snow slipping as tears sparkled in Anna's eyes and guilt swarmed her. "Stop, Anna."
"No, you're going to listen to me, and damn your feelings!" Anna stalked up to Elsa, hands planted firmly on her shoulders, and stared into her eyes. "You have two choices: run away from this, or take a chance, explore this. What's it going to be?"
"Anna, I don't-"
"Answer me! Are you going to be brave or will you run like a coward?"
Elsa bit back a sob and the wind whipped around them, their hair twirling madly in the rising gale as snow stung their skin. "I don't – I don't want to listen to this."
Anna's eyes hardened, flinty in their resolve, and she pushed Elsa back.
"Then leave."
Elsa's heart jumped painfully in her chest and her breath stuttered in her lungs. Outwardly, the storm seemed to freeze, snowflakes hanging suspended in midair as the wind died down. Anna wiped her eyes as more tears spilled over and firmed her jaw.
"Go on then, if you don't want to listen, leave! You can't have it both ways, Elsa! Get out of here!" Elsa shook her head and Anna snarled. "I can't do this, Elsa! I can't stand by and just be your friend when I know how you feel, how I feel!" When Elsa just gasped for air she couldn't seem to find, Anna shook her head and turned away.
"Fine. I'll do it."
She took a half dozen steps away from the blonde, sniffling and wiping her tears away with numb fingers, when she heard frantic wing beats behind her. Slim, cool arms, wrapped around her shoulders and a head rested atop her own, tears dripping into her hair.
"Please don't leave."
The words were whispered into the crown of her hair, Elsa's grip tightening around her shoulders. Anna sobbed once and bit her lip hard enough to draw blood. "Don't leave me, Anna. Please."
"You don't – I can't do this." Anna didn't move from Elsa's embrace, didn't move her head although she could see gently beating wings from the corner of her eyes, keeping Elsa aloft behind her. "You're breaking my heart, Elsa."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please, Anna, let me try." Elsa turned Anna around and tilted her head back, brushing away errant tears with pain in her eyes. "Let me fix this." Anna's eyes flicked between hers before closing and she leaned into Elsa's palm with a sigh. The blonde leaned down and carefully pressed their lips together, still cupping Anna's cheek and held her breath.
Please….let me fix us.
Anna sighed again and stood on tiptoe to deepen the kiss, wrapping her arm around Elsa's neck to bring her closer, and the storm around them dissipated, snowflakes spinning gently in midair before they disappeared in a flurry.
And that was that. Well, not exactly that, but close enough. They discussed things further once they had both calmed down, and Elsa eventually decided – after consulting thoroughly with Anna about their mutual feelings – to complete the Joining with her.
She lost her wings, but there remained an indelible mark from her past. Covering the full breadth and width of her back, an impossibly detailed tattoo of wings, down to the tiniest coverts, filled her skin, and she remained highly sensitive there. She swore somedays she still felt them resting against her spine, could feel the air rush around her ears with phantom beats.
Anna retained her white streak, and Elsa would playfully tweak it when she felt mischievous with a smile on her lips. Oh, that smile, Anna thought. Elsa didn't smile often still, but when she did, it was radiant.
She still fumbled her feelings occasionally, uncertain of where some fit on the wide spectrum of emotions humans were capable of, but Anna was always there to help her figure it out, and explain what caused it. Together, they made quite a pair, bickering playfully – usually – with their polar personalities and appearances.
They also made quite the, should she say, spectacular introduction to Anna's friends and family about their relationship. First, Kristoff walked into her bedroom – nothing unusual there, they'd been invading each other's homes since forever – and caught them in a rather compromising position on Anna's bed. He was positively mortified, beet red and stuttering madly while Sven wagged his tail madly and bounded over to them, nosing against and slobbering over Elsa in ecstasy. They explained in a rather roundabout way that they were together – excluding the more, uhm, supernatural aspects, of course – and he was fine after that, although he still blushed whenever he walked upstairs.
Then, the cherry on top of the cake, Kai and Gerda walked in on Anna enthusiastically kissing Elsa in the kitchen – she had pinned the blonde against the counter and one of her hands had slipped under her shirt so she could drag her nails across her back – and immediately began teasing her relentlessly. Well, Kai teased her, Gerda just smiled knowingly and winked at Elsa, who somehow turned more red than she already had been after being caught.
All in all, it was a rather satisfying ending, Anna thought. Not bad, not bad at all, Fjӕr.
"Anna? Are you coming?"
Anna drew herself from her thoughts, shaking off her musings of the past few years, and took Elsa's extended hand. "Right behind you, Elsa. Are you ready?"
Elsa took steadying breath and smiled lovingly, dangling the spanking new house keys in her free hand. "Excited, very excited."
"Good, 'cause I've got plans for some fun ways for us to christen our house." And, laughing as Elsa blushed brightly, she took the keys and unlocked their – their! – front door, dragging Elsa inside with a wink.
Fjӕr-spring (norwegian)
Vis-energy (latin)
Let me know if I missed anything? I think I caught most errors, but I am only human, and no one else has looked at this, so...yep. Imma go and...finish coloring my hair before camping for the weekend. Adios!