What's Up Chang, No More
"The service was lovely, don't you think Jane?" Maura asked as she dabbed at her eyes then gently blew her nose as Jane steered them from the funeral home to the grave site where Susie Chang would be forever laid to rest.
"Yeah. I guess so." said Jane in a husky voice. "If you can call a funeral lovely."
"I just meant that the speeches were poignant and heartfelt. Susie was well loved by many." Maura said as she reached for a new tissue as the tears began running anew down her face.
They were quiet for a time before Jane broke it.
"I'm really going to miss her." said Jane as she gave a loud sniff.
"I know you are." Maura said as she laid a gentle hand on Jane's forearm, taking note to the silent tears rolling down her face. "I'm going to miss her as well. We were so connected on so many different levels."
The light turned red and Jane stopped the car, she sniffed again and turned to Maura and said in a throaty voice, "You really were. Susie was the one person you could connect with on an intellectual level that none of us are able to achieve, no matter how hard we try. I'm sorry."
Maura released her seat belt and scooted closer to Jane, laying her head on her shoulder. "No need to be sorry, Jane." she said. "You connect with me on a level that no one else ever has. You complete me."
Jane began to respond when a horn blared behind them, Jane noticed the light had turned green, and pressed on the accelerator, steering the car to the grave site.
They arrived at the cemetery a few minutes later and held hands as they walked to the grave site where Susie's casket sat on a dais.
"I don't know if I can do this." Jane said to Maura as she stopped and gripped Maura's hand tighter.
"You can do this, Jane. You need to pay your final respects to Susie so you can move on." Maura said, gently.
"It's just that after Frost, saying a final goodbye at the cemetery makes it so...so...permanent. It makes me feel like there is no hope of ever seeing them again. I need to hang onto that hope." Jane said as she placed her aviator shades on her nose so the dark lenses hid her red and swollen eyes.
Maura stood and looked at Jane for a while, not knowing what to say to her. Maura was not a believer in an afterlife and she wasn't sure what words could be said that would give comfort to Jane. She thought for a few more moments, watching the crowd gather around her assistant's final resting place before saying, "This isn't a final goodbye."
"How do you figure?" asked Jane.
"It isn't final because Susie, like Barry, will always be alive in your heart and mind. As long as you allow them a place in either or both of those places, they will always remain alive and you can visit and talk with them as long and as often as you wish. They may not always respond back to you but rest assured that they will always hear you and be with you." Maura said as she wrapped her arm around Jane's waist.
Jane thought for a moment then nodded her head and said, "Thanks, Maura. That's exactly what I needed to hear. They will always be part of me."
"Ready to go?" Maura inquired.
"Yeah. I think I am." said Jane as she pressed a kiss into Maura's temple.
Maura moved her arm from around Jane's waist and clutched her hand again as they made their way over to the grave site.
The priest waited for them to get settled before he began. He read some passages and recanted some stories of Susie from her younger years. He spoke of her love of art and science and how she devoted her professional life to obtaining justice for others. He also spoke of how she prided herself in being part of giving closure to grieving families during the darkest times of their lives. By the time he was done speaking, there wasn't a dry eye amongst them. He paused, looking over all of her family and friends gathered, grieving, to pay their final respects to this amazing young woman who was taken from them way too soon, Before giving Susie her final rights, he asked if anyone would like to say a few words.
There was silence except for the songs of the birds in the trees then Jane cleared her throat and stood up.
"I'd like to say a few words." she said as she looked over the crowd, many of whom were her friends and colleagues as well as Susie's.
"Please. Be my guest." the priest said as she motioned for her to come to the lectern.
Jane made her way over, feeling the hands of her friends touch her as she passed by them.
"I am Detective Jane Rizzoli." Jane said. "I have worked with Susie for several years and I am going to miss her dedication to her profession, the way she would build dioramas to reconstruct crime scenes to get a better understanding of how the victim died, as well as her sense of humor but especially her dynamic personality. Susie was more than my co-worker. She was my friend. I will miss her greatly but I am really going to miss walking into the lab, seeing her, and saying What's Up, Chang? Just to see her smile and to hear her laugh. Thank you."
There was a murmur throughout the crowd as Jane made her way back to her seat, beside Maura.
"That was beautiful, Jane." she said as she wrapped her arm around the detective's shoulders and allowed her to cry.
"I still can't believe she's gone, Maur." Jane sniffed. "We just had lunch together. We laughed and talked and she even told me about this new guy that moved into her building that she was hoping to get to know. She had her whole life ahead of her and some asshole took that away. Took her away."
"I know, Jane. It really isn't fair. Susie had so much to give." Maura said as she rubbed Jane's back.
All of a sudden, there was a clearing of a throat in front of them. They looked up to see Korsak standing there, surrounded by Nina, Frankie, Angela, and a few others.
"We were going to head to The Dirty Robber for a celebration of Susie's life if you two would like to join us." he said.
Maura looked at Jane and she nodded.
"We would love to join you." Maura said.
The gang convened at The Dirty Robber and took turns buying rounds and paying tribute to Susie's life and the impact she had on each and every one of them.
Jane was the last one to pay tribute and everyone thought she would pass, as she had given hers at the grave site. She stood up and motioned for the bartender to give everyone another round.
"We will miss you, Susie." she said as she raised her glass. "I just would like to say, one last time, What's Up, Chang? Except now, it's What's Up, Chang no more."
Everyone raised their glasses and together said, "To Susie." and drank a final toast.