Quick authors note. These Characters do not belong to me and this is my first non Mary/ Matthew story. Please stick with me and I hope I do it justice.
Anna's long and familiar fingers moved through her hair with the exact precision and technique they had been practicing. She hadn't been sure at first if she wanted her hair up or not on this day, in the end she opted to have each tendril wisped back; different than when she had gave her heart away to Matthew.
There was no conversation as the lady's maid helped Mary and for that she was thankful. "Can I have just a moment alone before the ceremony begins Anna? " "Of course M'Lady," Anna lingered near the door a moment before Mary could speak again. "Could you check on George for me also, make sure nanny has him resting." There were a million things she could have been thinking about at the moment but it was George who flashed in her mind. Anna smiled gently before nodding and making her way from the room, her bedroom where she wished to get ready.
The mirror in front of Mary began to shift in her mind, like a screen playing out her life since Matthew left her and George at the hospital that day. The months following felt like a black hole in her life, she hadn't been living but gliding through each day and doing what it took to care for him. It astonished her that she even was able to dig herself out of that grief, but it still lingered. Some days Matthew was still her first thoughts and other times it took time to sink in, the blue eyes on George always providing it. There had been times since when she was genuinely happy though, when the ache was replaced with a new fire but she couldn't think about those either right now; she was losing them as well.
Mary was polished now, just as breathtaking as when herself and Matthew had exchanged their vows but it felt different in a million ways. They had been so young and naïve, wasting so many years they could have spent happy. She had married for love and knew how that felt but now was for safety, for her future and George's.
Would Matthew be happy for her now? The thought was delusional at best but it was those thoughts that made her feel grounded and normal. To keep him in her memory she needed to think of how his view on things would be sometimes. There had been mornings when all they could do was enjoy their tea before tasting it on each other's lips, deep conversation following about how their days would go and various other things. It hurt to think of those days, when Matthew would divulge his thoughts and inner workings.
Cora and Violet had pulled her aside a few months ago, lines of sternness and caring etched along their features. "Mary you know you must commit already, it's not fit to be a widow your whole life." Sharp tongued as always, the Dowager dove head first into what she was there for. "I believe what your grandmother is trying to say is that for yourself and George it may be best to give in to Mr. Napier's advances and settle. He has the means to keep you satisfied and you can't be innocent to the way he looks at you. "Violet taped her cane in annoyance, cutting in. "I can speak for myself but yes he gives those sad eyes, Mary and George doesn't hate him entirely."
Warm fabric rustled along her fist as she crumbled the purple seems of her dress. Her son didn't hate entirely? What if he wasn't what she wanted though? He wasn't the man that she spent time thinking about now, the one that had come close to capturing her thoughts over Matthew. He wasn't the man that shared her like of art and remembered the type of books George enjoyed before a nap. Evelyn was nice enough and a dear friend but the prospect of spending the rest of her days was less than inspiring. She knew it was what her family wanted though and they were right about the safety of a marriage to him. "Fine." One sharp answer with an exhale of breath was all it took to hand her life over once again, just like when she had been younger.
Mary knew the moment to go downstairs was ticking closer by she needed just a few more moments to herself to think everything over. Letting go of Tony after accepting Evelyn's proposal had been easier than she imagined. His face was pained but happy as well for her as they spoke over breakfast before he was to leave for a trip to Ireland. The day felt like yesterday, each detail important to their story. Blue, she had worn blue to tell him goodbye because he had mentioned he liked the color upon her skin. His kiss goodbye on her cheek felt like sunshine and peppermint lingered along the prickly hairs of his chin. The goodbye was gaining a friend, one she cherished and was glad to keep.
Friends indeed, seeing as he was with Rose now. The two had been courting since his return and he was even supposed to be escorting her to the wedding. Tick…Tick.. Loud bangs on the grandfather clock was alerting Mary to the fact she only had so much more time, her last moments before becoming another man's wife.
Saying goodbye to Charles was far from easy, it felt comparable to the pain she suffered when Matthew left for the war. His anguish over hearing her marriage to Evelyn mirrored her own suffering that was brewing in heart. It was funny how much they had despised each other at first, the intensity stemming from the same personal attributes in both of them. Charles left that day from Grantham house and they hadn't spoken since, all she had of the man she had grown to cherish was her memories.
There had been days out to museums as well as teaching each other new hobbies. Charles wasn't too handy at riding but with Mary's skills he mastered it. George babbled his first words to them as he took the time to read the tot a book before naptime, the moment special and a secret to them both. Mary could feel the ache in her chest being filled when watching George spend time with Mr. Blake.
She had been the one he came to when his future was snatched away, the estate and land he was going to inherit ripped away. A rough hand clasped smooth and two worlds combined in a fiery promise. Mary whispered nothing would change between them because of it but it was all lies, even if at the moment it hadn't been. If only she would have kissed him that day, no matter how improper. If only she would have stuck to her word and not let it change anything.
Here she was though, marrying Evelyn; doing exactly what her mum and grandmother wanted.
Daisy's lay resting in a bouquet in front of her as Mary reached to pick them up, standing straight and examining herself in the mirror. Everything was different than her first wedding; it was the only thing she had asked for. Short Ivory ripples danced snuggly around her waist, only showing the proper amount of skin. "M'Lady?" Anna's voice vibrated around the bedroom as she poked her head around the door without a knock, ripping Mary from her thoughts.
"Oh Anna, I was just coming. I suppose Tom is having to calm Pa for how late I' am." Anna's face shifted as she glanced over her should before whispering. "It's not that, you have a visitor who is adamant on seeing you now."
A visitor? Now? Mary couldn't imagine who could be here and not taking no as an answer. Confusion washed over them both as Mary placed the bouquet back down. "Who in heavens name?"
"It's me," a deep voice answered as Charles stepped into the room, his eyes soaking in every detail of Mary in her dress. Anna shut the door behind her and the room began to spin, Mary's heart clutching in ways she couldn't imagine. They had not spoken and now he was here and the baggage between them had been cut open.