Come in; you are the newest graduate from the Academy, yes? Please be seated. My name is Akon; welcome to the SRDI, your new home.
Please stop screaming; many of us have sensitive hearing.
Yes, I'm well aware that you had put in for the 4th Division. In fact I spoke directly with Vice-Captain Kotetsu about it. She was disappointed, but ultimately agreed with my decision to co-opt your application and bring you here instead. You see, you would have done well in the 4th. Admirably well, honestly. And I'm sure you would have been quite the asset to them over the course of your career. possibly even making it to a lower seated position.
But you're going to be doing so much more for, and with, us.
You're welcome.
I won't beat around the bush: I know this isn't what you wanted. It's very rarely what anyone wants, initially. But fortunately, or unfortunately if you choose to see it that way, your skills in science, mechanics and energy make you a unique fit for this department. And in time, I think you'll grow to enjoy your time here, and the work you are able to devote your life to.
Now, before you say anything: yes, I am aware of how this department is viewed. I have heard the nickname "Freaks and Geeks"; I actually kind of like that one and am thinking of putting it on a T-shirt. I know we're referred to as a group of psychopathic mad scientists with no moral or ethical boundaries to speak of, simply experimenting and creating monstrosities without a care in the world.
And you know what? They are right.
We are the ones who come up with every new piece of technology for the last 100 years. Any scientific advancements, any new weapons, anything that might be a discovery or considered an improvement have developed in this very division. Experiments to further our understanding of the shinigami body medically and physically have opened incredible doors into how we design even the most mundane things. And we do this with a team of highly-dedicated scientists who give everything to their research.
Your job here is not philosophy. In here, you are purely a scientist, and we encourage you to explore that with unfiltered and unbridled curiosity. Anything you can think of, anything you can dream of, we encourage you to research it and plan it until you are ready to make it a reality. I don't want you to stop before each step of your inevitable experiments and wonder what implications it has, or how morally just or sound it is.
That's my job.
Each of your experiments are going to be run by me for approval. If I feel as though the benefits for Soul Society as a whole outweigh the potential moral limitations, it will be approved. If not, you'll receive feedback on where you have gone too far, and will be encouraged to try again from a different angle. And yes, I do veto experiments. Just because you are uncomfortable with something you've heard of or seen doesn't mean it wasn't carefully considered and eventually approved. And trust me, you don't want to know what I've cut.
I'll take the responsibility of any and all experiments the SRDI has officially signed off on. If there is any backlash, your Captain and I will back up the decisions; you will never be brought before the Central 46 for an experiment I have approved. Of course, if you decide to conduct your own experiments outside of my approval, then you will be on your own.
It's okay, it's normal to be shaking right now. Most people are still trying to wrap their head around everything. How about we go over some of our benefits instead, alright? We'll focus on some of the positive stuff.
As a member of the SRDI, you are given full range of the most advanced and efficient computers, robotics and machinery that Soul Society has to offer. While access is limited during your probationary time, more freedom will come with new information you are able to bring to our squad from a number of topics. Hours are not limited, and we encourage you to spend as many as possible working on whatever next project is plaguing your mind.
In addition, we offer a wide variety of body modifications to aid you in your experiments, or whatever might catch your eye. You get massively discounted rates on installing said modifications, and the appropriate medical-physical performed afterwards to make sure all is in order. From here on out, all of your medical needs will be handled by the 12th division, at no additional cost to you.
No, the SRDI doesn't hold any seated positions. We operate outside of the strict structural hierarchy of the rest of the squads. Many of us find that liberating; the gifted and talented get their due respect, and we work together cohesively without people constantly trying to get a step higher on the ladder, so to speak.
Remember, our job here at the SRDI is to further our understanding of the universe we all currently live in. We know how far to push our research and experimentation, and where to draw the line. The work you do here will live on, outliving you, myself, and any of us who will at one point, undoubtedly, need it.
So once again, welcome to the Shinigami Research and Development division. We are so happy you could join us. This is your new family, and this is your home.
No, you may not leave.
Have a good day.
(Inspired by "ETHICS COMMITTEE ORIENTATION" from the SCP Foundation page)