"Tell me about them."
"What?" I ask sleepily.
"Tell me about them. About your team?"
"Why?" "Because they're important to you and that makes them important to me. And besides, I want to know. I mean I've heard their names but I don't know what they're really like."
I have my head nestled into the soft part of Tara's shoulder, her arm wrapped around my shoulders, mine around her waist. We've had a wonderful night together eating and dancing and drinking, perhaps a bit too much of the drinking. Now we're cuddling, my favorite part of our date nights, well, it's a close second favorite anyway.
"What do you want to know?" I ask her. I'm still not sure I want to combine my two lives. No one on my team knows about Tara and I plan to keep it that way. Someday Nate and I may have to have a conversation about her but, with his big bag of mixed signals, who knows when or if that may be. I sigh.
"Tell me about Parker" she says. "Is she really that good? Is she really crazy? I can't imagine half of the stories about her are true." I laugh. "Oh they're all true" I tell her. "And she is crazy but it's a wonderful kind of crazy. She's sweet and adorable and she is wicked quick with a lock. She also likes to jump off buildings and hang upside down in elevators." Tara's eyes widen a bit. "She so sweet and innocent. She can tell you about any alarm system in the world but she has no idea how to have a simple conversation with a normal person." I laugh. "Of course she can talk to us just fine." Tara laughs too.
"What does she look like?" I sit up a bit. "Tara, why you want to know what she looks like." She tries to look innocent. "You're not jealous of me working with Parker are you?" She smiles. "Maybe. I hear she's beautiful." "She is I agree. She's tall, taller than you. Long blond hair and bright green eyes. She's impossibly slim and flexible and she is so strong she can hang off of a building with just her fingers." I smile at Tara. "She's also young and naïve and she follows me around like a little puppy dog. I spend time with her trying to teach her how to relate to people, how to read them and how to grift. She's a quick learner but her oddness always seems to poke through. Did you know she stabbed a mark with a fork?" We both chuckle at that. I get serious and look deep into Tara's eyes. She's not really jealous, just curious to know what I think. "She's also a good friend and I love her like a little sister." I lean into Tara and give her a quick kiss. "I don't look at her like I look at you. You know that right?" She doesn't answer. She just pulls me back down for another kiss, a more intimate one this time.
"Em em" I tell her. Not while we're talking about Parker." "Well then tell me about Eliot then." I smile at her. "Hmmm. That might work for me". She laughs and pulls me in close, her hands already starting to roam. "Yes that will do just fine" I tease and start a kiss that will end with both of us tangled together and out of breath.
"Seriously, tell me about Eliot" she tells me. I roll my eyes at her. I want to tell her to just let it go. We are walking hand in hand along the boardwalk in Santa Monica. I don't love living in Los Angeles but the ocean makes everything about the city just a bit more bearable. I buy two ice cream cones from a street vender and we sit along the low cement wall separating the sidewalk from the sand. "Ok." I tell her. "I will tell you all about them and then will you let it go?" She nods. "Ok" I sigh. "What to tell about Eliot? Eliot is a study in contrasts. He is a hitter in every sense of the word. He will take a beating that would kill another man just to protect us. He growls at everyone, always the tough guy but on the inside he is just a big teddy bear. He has a heart the size of a mountain and will do anything for you. He is also a gourmet cook and he writes and sings his own music. I think Eliot is the person I least understand but he's also the most transparent in his motives. Loyalty is everything to him."
"Hardison" she says. "I kinda got to see him in action a couple of weeks ago but he's legendary too". I laugh. "Legendary in his own mind maybe!" "Seriously though" I start again "he is a brilliant young man. What he can do with a cell phone and an internet connection will amaze you. He will find out anything about anyone and create anything we ask. He also makes me laugh every day. You know, he's got it bad for Parker but she doesn't have a clue. I try to tell her all the time but she just looks at me like I'm from another planet. Or maybe it's Parker who's from another planet. Yeah that would make sense." Tara laughs along with me then her voice gets serious. "Nate."
I pause. I've lost all humor now. Nate is someone I don't want to talk about to anyone, especially Tara. "Please?" she begs. "Why Tara. Why do you want to know about Nate? What good would it do either of us for you to be thinking about Nate?" Her voice gets very low and quiet. "I don't know Soph. I just do. I need to know how you feel about him. I need to know who he is."
I can't talk. I hunch over, staring at my feet, willing them to give me the answer. Tara scoots closer and puts her arm around my shoulders. She leans in and nuzzles my neck, trying to make it better. I stare at my feet more. I don't understand why she needs to know. Will it make her feel better? Or worse? Is she worried about losing me? Should she be? I can't answer any of her questions. I can't answer any of mine either. I decide to just tell her what she wants.
"He's broken" I tell her finally, my voice almost a whisper. "You know that. His son. His wife. His job." She nods and pulls me closer. Her breath is hot on my neck. Somehow her nearness makes it easier for me. "He's drunk most of the time. And he's angry. He also cares very deeply, for me, for all of us. He's got this sense of justice I'm only beginning to understand. He can't change his life but he thinks he can change the world. It scares me sometimes how driven he is to right a wrong, especially if he can destroy a corrupt business man or politician at the same time."
"And you?" she asks. "I don't know Tara." I tell her. "Sometimes I think I do. Sometimes I think there's a spark there, like there was years ago when we used to flirt. It was all very intense back then but he was married and I was a thief and we both knew nothing would ever come of it. But then he came to me. I wonder sometimes if it was all about the con or if it was about me. He's just so lost right now. He can't be anything for anyone, not until he sorts himself out. I just really don't know…." My voice trails off to nothing.
Tara has been very still, her breath still caressing my neck but she hasn't moved a muscle since I started. I'm still staring hard at my shoes. Finally I ask "Tara?" "Are you OK?" She is silent. Finally she moves her head away, she puts her hand on the side of my face and turns me towards her. Her eyes are soft, not hurt or angry. "Soph…"she starts. "Sophie, thank you." I still don't understand her. "I know we don't say this but I need to say it OK? I love you Sophie. I want you to know that you need to follow your heart. I know that may or may not include me. I'm OK with that. Not now maybe but later I will be." I feel tears start and they match the ones on her face. "I love you too Tara. I can't imagine my life without you in it. I don't know what that life will look like in five years but you will be a part of it. Maybe not like today. Maybe just as friends. Maybe Nate and I will be together. Maybe it will be you and me. I don't know anything except right now, right this minute, I love you and I want to be with you. OK?" She smiles. "OK." I pull her back to me and kiss her, leaving no doubt as to who I will be with tonight.