Title: Busting Santa
Rating: M
This was my entry for the Jingle All the Way Contest with Prompt Number 6 (photo of a fireplace).
I didn't win, but I had fun and was trying to get my writing mojo back on track after having lots of personal things going on in my life the past year or so.
Summary: The Grandpa's are always getting the children to do things that make Bella & Edward crazy all year long. Christmas is no exception; they just ramp it up bringing their A++ game.
Disclaimer: The author does not own any publicly recognizable entities herein. No copyright infringement is intended.
Edward's POV
It was a long day today and I was really happy to be home with my wife and kids. I finally got them all into bed after we put out cookies and milk for Santa, and at Seth's insistence carrots for the reindeer. Now not only do I have to feed Santa, but his reindeer too! I don't know when this happened because when I was a kid we only left cookies. I guess I can't complain as I'll be eating the cookies and my sweetheart of a wife bought my favorites, Oreo's. Bella promised that she'd eat the carrots. I'm totally not a fan of the orange sticks.
I flopped onto the bed fully clothed and asked, "So we're feeding Santa's animals now too?"
"I know the kids were all hyped up about them not having something even though I told them that Santa shared the cookies. They informed me that reindeer don't eat cookies. I mean how do they know this? Seriously when I was their age I hadn't a clue as to what a reindeer might eat and if my mom and dad told me they ate cookies, I'd accept it and move on." I had to laugh it was so crazy it was funny.
"I know what you mean, I never questioned it either. They are just too smart for their own good, like their Aunt Alice." I grinned.
"Yeah, I remember you telling me that she questioned everything growing up, so between that gene and you Mr. Valedictorian for every graduation how could they not be the smartest kids going." She smiled and leaned over to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around her and deepened the kiss causing her to moan. When she had to breathe, she pulled back.
Looking into her lust filled eyes, which I'm sure mirrored my own, I knew right then that there would be no sleeping now and I was totally on board with that plan. I pulled her closer kissing her neck, chin and lips. My god she was sweet like chocolate.
Bella grabbed my ass massaging it firmly and I moaned like a dog in heat. That'd be the luckiest dog on the planet. She pulled back from me and looked into my eyes and said, "why don't you go get cleaned up. I left something in the bathroom for you to wear tonight," she wiggled her eyebrows at me while palming my goods and the goods perked right up.
Fuck, it was going to be a good night; maybe my devil outfit is in there. I loved playing devil and angel. "You don't say." I smirked and jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom striping out of my shirt and shoes along the way. I may have flexed my back muscles a bit too which caused her to moan out.
I dropped my pants and boxers to the floor, washed my face, hands and teeth before looking at what she had laid out for me. What the fuck? Well no use in fighting it, I was getting sex with my sexy wife who was horny almost 24/7, but who was I kidding so was I. I quickly donned my outfit and walked out of the bathroom.
"FUCK! You're gorgeous Mrs. Claus." There she was on the bed clad in a sheer red nightie with white fur trim which my cock took immediate notice. He jumped straight up to get a better look. Where she found that in her size I have no idea, but I was glad someone thought about making it.
"Come here my deer." She wiggled her fingers at me to come to her and I practically ran to the bed. "Now that you're under the mistletoe, I believe there is a tradition that must be adhered to." She had a headband on that had mistletoe attached to it.
"Hell yeah." I jumped on that tradition and attached my lips to hers as she pulled me onto the bed and started running her hands along my arms and chest before dipping them into my boxers. She took that rein in hand and started to jingle my bells.
"Now my deer, you've been such a good boy and worked so hard that I want you to lie back because I'm going to massage your muscles and ride your sleigh tonight."
"Fuck, I love when you get all themed out." She moved to straddle me and I helped her get her leg over my waist. Leaning up I kissed my Mrs. firmly and deeply earning me a nice lustful moan. "Can I unwrap you my dear?" She nodded and I reached up and slowly pulled the ribbon that held her nightie together which were just barely containing her ample breasts. I released the bow and peeled back the wrap to reveal her hardened nipples that begged for some sucking. Laving them slowly and carefully, I sucked and licked each one until she was writhing on top of me. It was then that I noticed my little vixen had on crotchless panties.
"I know how you like my themes, my deer." She leaned back to remove my boxers and I pulled up to help wiggle them off. Hell my sleigh needed riding and fast. It was raging out of control and if she didn't ride it soon I was going to crash and burn. We couldn't have that because then there would be no Christmas. Bella lifted herself up and sunk all the way down onto my stick shift.
We moaned out together and she took my hands in hers weaving our fingers together so that she'd have some leverage to move up and down me. She started moving slowly and that was when heard a sound coming from downstairs causing her to stop.
"Shit, no, no, no. No stopping, keep going." I begged.
"But what was that?"
"I'm sure it was just Noel; you know how he's in everything." Damn cat. I'm going to kill Emmett one of these days for giving the kids that kitten last year for Christmas. Although, recently I came to the conclusion that I couldn't do that to mom and dad, and that revenge is a lot better. I had a plan that was about to unfold in about eight hours.
"You're right." She started moving up and down again slowly, and then picking up speed.
"Yes baby, keep going, you're so tight and wet for me. God YES!"
"I love your big thick cookie inside me. I want it in me all the time. I'm going harder Edward; tell me if I hurt you."
"You could never hurt me and my big cock…cookie loves your oven." She slammed down onto me which felt so damn good. She always worried when she was in this state that she'd hurt me. It's never happened. "Are you close baby, I'm so close."
"Yes, Edward, touch me, let's fly through the sky together on your sleigh." I reached down, rubbed her swollen nub and instantly her walls constricted on my cookie causing it to spew forth its yeasty goodness into her easy bake oven.
"HOLY FUCK BELLA!" I screamed as I rode out my orgasm.
"HOLY FUCK IS RIGHT, MY DEER!" She collapsed onto me and I pulled her onto her side spooning her from behind. We laid there for a few moments before we heard another sound come from downstairs.
"Edward, please check on that, I'm scared." We had a security system and cameras, but my woman was her father's daughter always waiting for the burglar. Well she did have her pepper spray that my father-in-law insists she needs. I'll never forget that night that I told him that I'm all she needs, big mistake. He looked me up and down and told me he could snap me like a twig and hide the body that no one would ever find. Yeah, that was date number two with Bella when that happened, but I stood up to him and said they could snap me as long as it would mean that it would give Bella the time to run away. After that he respected me and we got along fine. I only came to find out after we were married for a year that that was my test. He was testing me, but because I had a plan and was man enough to stand up to someone with a gun who could toss me in jail for no reason, I passed and was good enough to date his daughter. I also found out that when Mike Newton arrived the month before to take her out for a first date, they never made it out of the house. Pansy-ass Mike pissed his pants and ran out after seeing Charlie's guns all laid out on the table. I laughed so hard and was never more thankful that Charlie did that because it meant she was waiting for me, the guy with the big cojones and cock.
"I'm sure it's just Noel."
"Please. Pretty please with sugar on top." She pouted at me. Damn she knew I couldn't resist that look and pout. I was toast. "I'll nibble on your cookie when you get back."
"Okay, my love, I'll check it out. How can I resist your sweet face AND a cookie nibble?" I wiggled my eyebrows at her.
"Thank you my deer."
I quickly tossed on my boxers and walked to the door.
"Deer, take the baseball bat just in case." Bella grabbed it and walked over to hand it to me giving me a quick kiss and some words of encouragement. "Now be safe and protect my cookie." She palmed my cook…cock and went back to bed. Me and my cook…cock were in a right semi state wanting to be nibbled. So with that in mind I walked quietly but quickly downstairs and into the living room.
I was greeted with a sight that was beyond anything I ever could've imagined. There sitting on the couch facing the fireplace were my demons. I moved around and stood in front of the couch to face them.
"Okay, what's going on here?"
"We're waiting for Santa?" Seth said in a duh manner. "Daddy you have no shirt, can we now go shirtless too?"
"No, you know your mother wants everyone to wear shirts." Except me because she enjoys the view.
"But you don't have one on?" Seth continued. Yeah because mommy didn't want me to wear one, she wanted me naked.
"I had to rush down here because of a noise and I forgot."
"Okay, we won't tell mommy." Seth said as if it was our secret.
"Pee-pee alert daddy!" Colin exclaimed. Colin and Seth were our four-year-old twins. They were incredibly bright and always looking up to the other two. Colin was a surprise because we didn't know he was in there until the birth as his heartbeat was in sync with Seth's and he was hiding behind him. Bella thought she was pushing out the afterbirth and there he was. Needless to say, after that I lorded over Em that I had super sperm which is probably why I have Noel running around my house, revenge.
"What?"
"Daddy, pee-pee alert." Colin said again and pointed at me. Oh for the love of reindeer, I was still sporting a semi and it was peeking out of my boxer slit. I quickly adjusted myself which didn't help by me touching myself. That was another wonderful conversation I had to have with the boys that they couldn't run around the house naked that we needed to wear underwear to cover up our pee-pee's so mommy didn't get mad.
"You've got a big pee-pee daddy!" My little ever observant EC, that's Edward Charlie, exclaimed. Yes, yes I do and your mommy loves it and wants to nibble on it tonight. Okay, thoughts like that weren't going to reduce its size. EC was six years old, yes we had Irish twins. After the six-week doctor's appointment from our first child, a honeymoon baby, Bella came home to find me in the kitchen making coffee in my boxers and needless to say that some wild kitchen sex led to EC nine months' later.
"Of course daddy's got a big pee-pee, he's all growed up, right daddy? That when we're all growed up, we'll have big pee-pee's just like you." My quick leader of the pack, Sam stated. At seven years old he knew everything and educated his brothers much to our dismay.
Sam Carlisle was our special honeymoon surprise. Bella and I decided to get right at it since everything was in place and she was ready for a family. We never thought that she'd get caught right away, but being the sperminator that I am it was bound to happen. Her job was writing a book review column for a Seattle magazine which was something she did from home. Only once every two months would she have to go in for a day for the staff meeting and I was in charge of the house. I was in charge in name only because somehow Grandma's would always show up and run everything.
"Yes, you will because you're Cullen's." Damn these guys were going to kill me.
"Guys, just like Uncle Emmett and Grandpa Carlisle, but not Uncle Jasper because he's not a Cullen. Although, mommy's a Cullen so Grandpa Charlie's like us too." Sam stated. Oh for heaven's sake, I seriously didn't want to have that thought in my head and heaven help me if they told this to Jasper or anyone for that matter.
I decided to sit down on the edge of the coffee table as I had a feeling this was going to be a long story. So I turned a bit and sat down.
"Daddy, you have a tail on your hinny." Colin giggled.
"Yes, I know." I sat on the table holding the bat between my spread legs.
"Daddy, pee-pee alert again." Seth whispered at me and I quickly looked down to see myself peeking out of the leg of the shorts. They were unlike my regular boxers; these were more like short-shorts so it's no wonder my giant cookie was escaping. I quickly stuck my hand down my shorts and pulled him back in, but before I could say anything Seth, said, "no touching the pee-pee."
"Remember we talked about how it was okay to touch it if you're only fixing it or going to the bathroom, but not to hold onto it or play with it?" Yes, that was part of that same wonderful conversation of needing to wear underwear that you weren't to play with it. I need to get this back on track so that I could get upstairs and have mommy play with my pee-pee.
"Okay, enough of the pee-pee talk. Let's get down to why you four are sitting on the couch under a blanket with a flashlight and those things on your head which I'm not sure where you got any of this stuff from." They had doctor's hats on which were those old fashion bands that held the round circular mirror to help reflect light.
"Grandpa Carlisle got us these neat bands because they help the light and we'd only need one flashlight." EC explained.
"That was very nice of Grandpa." I wouldn't exactly say nice.
"I know right! Grandpa is the best, well Grandpa Charlie too, and you." EC exclaimed. Yeah nice save there by adding me in.
"Grandpa Charlie gave us the flashlight and told us we only needed one with the head things. We had to be felthy to succeed in getting the perp." Sam added.
"Stealthy he said Sam, it was vital to the mission." Seth corrected. Poor Sam was having trouble with his 's' words after losing his tooth. And if you didn't guess it, the grandpas gave Sam Toothfairy advice and I ended up forking out $50 in the name of the Toothfairy. Apparently with inflation, the economy in flux, it being a front tooth and the first one, it totaled up to $50 thanks to them. My father and Bella's father were thick as thieves when it came to making my life a living hell.
"I said that, felthy."
"First, leave Sam alone. Second Santa is not a perp; we want him to come to our house to bring presents. Finally, this isn't a military mission; no one is getting arrested or pounced on. Now, focus, what else?" Someone save me, Santa a perp! Damn Charlie.
"Well, James Dilly said there was no Santa and I told him he was wrong and Sam agreed with me. I told Grandpa Carlisle about it and he told me not to worry that he would speak with Grandpa Charlie. He called Grandpa Charlie and they came up with this plan to help prove that there is a Santa so when we went back to school we could rub it in James' nose that we met Santa, the real Santa not the guy in the mall who is his brother helping him out." EC continued. Grandma's were responsible for that little tale of him being the brother when one of them asked how he could spend all the time at the mall when he needed to make toys at the North Pole.
"I told you James was a doodyhead that knows nothing." Sam said.
"What did I tell you about calling people that?"
"Not to, but Uncle Emmett says it all the time to you and Uncle Jasper."
"That's because Uncle Emmett is a doodyhead." I said and immediately realized my mistake. They were all laughing.
"Daddy, you said Uncle Emmett is a doodyhead." I sighed; this talk was taking forever.
"Okay, never mind, but we don't use that word. Mommy will be very upset if she hears it." Upset was the understatement of the century.
"So you four are going to sit here and wait then?" I inquired.
"Yes." They all said in unison.
"Alright, then I'm going to leave you to your stealthy mission and go back to bed with mommy." Before she calls out the FBI since I've been gone so long.
"Okay, but daddy, why are you wearing antlers and why are they crooked?" Colin asked. Damn I still have them on my head? I guess they stayed put.
"Umm…Uh…" I really didn't have an answer for that and quickly made them straight. I couldn't say that mommy likes to see me dress up and fuck me senseless.
"DUH Colin, that's because daddy needs to be dressed like a reindeer when he goes to give Santa's reindeer the carrots up on the roof. They might get scared not knowing him and if he's dressed like them, they'll think he's one of their pack and not be scared." Seth expertly explained. Good lord I'm so not climbing the roof in this getup, nor going out the front door. I'll surely get arrested. Charlie will be way too happy to see me in the back of his squad car. I think that's still a dream of his even after all these years.
"Yeah, remember Jake said you had to be careful feeding animals and how the ate gross vegetables like carrots." Sam authoritatively stated. I'm going to kill Jake. That's where Seth got the idea that the reindeer needed carrots. He thinks he's so funny just like Emmett. Just wait until Jared turns three, I'll be sure to have Sam fill him in on all the important things in life.
Jake is my best friend from high school. He lived on the reservation, but he was so smart that they decided he needed more of a challenge and sent him to our school. We met in AP Math freshman year and he was the one who encouraged me to join the chess club because there were lots of hot chicks who joined it. It turned out that he was after this hot chick Vanessa, who is now his wife. They have one child and two are on the way. He has his own architecture firm in Port Angeles, but they still live on the reservation with his family. It also turned out that there was this brown-eyed hot chick in the club that I ended up dating, well that was after it took me a month to work up the nerve to ask her out. But I worked hard on her between the club and being my AP Biology partner. And, now, that hot chick is my hot wife who is upstairs waiting for me and my cookie.
"Okay, daddy is going upstairs. Now your four be good and remember Santa is not a perp!"
I quickly left the living room bolting to our bedroom and back to my sexy wife. As I enter the door she sat there against the headboard smiling at me. My dick reacted by twitching in my reindeer boxer-cladded ass. I turned a little to shake my tail at her and I was rewarded with the most beautiful little giggle.
Bella's POV
I was really nervous sending Edward out there into the house after we heard the second noise. He assured me that it was probably Noel, but he was taking so long I started to worry. I slipped out of our room and towards the staircase. I heard voices and it took a moment to realize that it was Edward and our children. I crept closer to listen in a bit, but when I heard 'daddy pee-pee alert again' I couldn't hold in my laughter so could only listen to part of Edward's explanation of touching yourself. Yeah, mommy wants to touch daddy's pee-pee, it needs a little sucking tonight.
I ran back to our room and burst into a fit of laughter. My poor hubby was probably being hit with all sorts of wacky off the wall questions. It took a bit, but I soon got myself under control and sat down on the bed and waited for him.
Damn he looked so sexy walking in the door with the antlers on his gorgeous disarrayed mop of sex hair with his reindeer boxers. I could see his cookie twitching and itching to say hello to me and I was dying for a taste. When he wiggled his tail at me I was a goner.
He moved over to the bed mumbling about carrots, perps and missions. I had no idea what was going on, but it wasn't long before he plopped down on the bed and grabbed his cell phone.
"I'm going to kill Carlisle, Charlie, Emmett and Jake in that order. Maybe Esme and Renee too since I'll be on a roll."
"Why?"
"Esme and Renee, for the Santa's brother is at the mall. Jake, for the reindeer eat carrots. Do you know they think I'm dressed as a one in case I have to bring the carrots to Santa's reindeer on the roof so I can mingle and blend in as one of their own!" I was all out laughing now. Oh my poor deer. "Emmett for his language that our sponges pick up from him, do you know they had me calling him a doodyhead!" God this was too funny tears were streaming down my face. "And the biggest, badest culprits of all, Carlisle and Charlie, not only for the Toothfairy debacle, but the two of them set up this whole thing that's going on down in our living room." I started to rub his arms and back to hopefully relieve some of his tension. He was strung tighter than a piano cord.
"Who are you calling? It's almost midnight."
"I don't care; those two aren't going to sleep when I'm being cockblocked by their antics." I had to laugh.
"Okay, but put it on speaker, I want to hear."
He dialed one number asking my dad to please hold and then a second. "Dr. Cullen speaking, what's the emergency?"
"This is Dr. Cullen and we have a problem." I could hear Esme in the background asking Carlisle what was wrong and if she should make coffee if he had to leave.
"OH MY GOD EDWARD, are the babies coming? Is Bella okay? I'll be right over, call the ambulance, no on second thought I'll drive you two especially after last time. Charlie, get over there so we can have a police escort. Esme get my bag and get dressed." Poor Edward was pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. I went into labor with Seth and Colin and we ran out of the house in the middle of the night forgetting to wait for Esme and my mom to get to the house to watch Sam and EC.
"Dad, dad, calm down the babies aren't coming." I was seven and a half months pregnant, really a day away from eight months, at this point and everyone was worried that I was going to blow like I did with Seth and Colin who were born at seven months.
"Then, how come you called the house on my emergency line at this hour of the night and what's up with the conference call?"
"Well doc, I have a beef with you and the Chief."
"This couldn't wait until morning?" My dad asked.
"No, not when I have four kids sitting on my couch in the living room who are on a mission to catch a perp named Santa Claus." He huffed out and I had to contain my laughter. OMG, that had my dad written all over it.
"Oh come on Edward, the kids need to believe, they're too young to find out. We're just helping them along."
"Okay, but dad did you really have to give them the doctor's headgear to reflect light? You should see the four of them down there on their stealthy mission." Carlisle was laughing along with my dad. The two of them were quite the pair.
"Of course we did. We couldn't let that James Dilly just hear they saw Santa, they had to have props so we armed them accordingly. We've also spoken to his dad James so he would explain to his son why you didn't go around telling people Santa didn't exist." Carlisle explained.
"You know Carlisle we probably should've just taken his son into the police station like with did with his father to scare him a bit." Charlie stated.
"What are you talking about dad?"
"Trust me, you don't need to know, just that we protected both of you."
Edward's POV
"Awe, Charlie, I didn't know you loved me so much to protect me." I said as I looked back at my smiling wife rubbing her leg.
"Wha…what…ye…yeah of course I love my Bells…"
"But you love me too." I could feel Bella shaking with laughter.
"Yeah…as an extension of Bella…you too." Try to justify it any way you wish old man, I got you to admit you loved me too.
I felt Bella's hands rub around my sides before they dove into my boxers causing a slight moan to slip out.
"Good god boy, can't you keep your hands off my daughter and while I'm on the phone no less." Charlie carried on and I laughed.
"Daddy, maybe it's me who can't keep their hands off of Edward. Did you ever consider that?" Bella taunted as her hands started fondling my cock.
"What…no…you're a…virgin…good girl…" Charlie sputtered.
"Daddy, I'm a married woman with four children, another on the way and a woman who has needs. One of those needs is her husband because I'm in the horny stage of pregnancy which I'm sure Carlisle can explain to you." She giggled kissing my back as her hand firmly came around my hardened cock and I moaned.
"Dad, please explain the mechanics of pregnancy to the Chief. I gotta go; I have a wife with NEEDS and am going to proceed to fulfill my husbandly duties while you take care of the four hooligans on my couch."
"We will."
NEXT MORNING
While I took care of my wife last night, there was a lot of banging on the roof and all sorts of shenanigans going on inside and outside of our bedroom. Outside we just ignored until we were awakened this morning.
"DADDY, MOMMY, SANTA CAME!" They all busted into our room.
"We saw him!" Sam.
"We heard the reindeer on the roof too." Colin and Seth.
"And the cookies and carrots are gone!" EC exclaimed.
"That's great guys." Damn they were so cute, I couldn't help but smile.
"Come on there are presents downstairs."
"Okay, let daddy go to the bathroom and we'll be right down."
"They are so cute believing, so glad our dads' were able to pull this off." Bella stated.
"Me too, almost thought I was actually going to have to commit murder. Now let's get a move on Mrs. Claus before the elves start rioting."
"Just a quick change my deer, and I'll be ready. I love you." She giggled.
"I love you too."
As soon as we joined the kids in the living room, the paper went flying. They loved everything they received from "Santa."
We didn't buy over-the-top gifts or too many since grandparents were bring gifts, in abundance. It was more about family that day for Bella and me, although Emmett was going home with a new family member and I couldn't wait.
"What's with the smile?" Bella inquired.
"Oh nothing, just enjoying our family. I couldn't be happier."
"Un-huh, but I won't ask anymore. Whatever you're up to will show itself soon." Yes, it would.
Well, Santa's still on the loose with his reindeer, so he can slide down everyone's chimney next year.
Merry Christmas!