Chapter 1 - Break In & Break Out
Ike and his squad consisting of King Dedede, Mr. Game & Watch, & Ganondorf, went to the Northgate Mall in Colerain, Ohio. There, they went to Hot Topic, but found out that it was closed down due to a monetary problem. Ike exclaimed "This is bullshit! They can't close Hot Topic! What is this world coming to!?" Game & Watch replied "Beep boop borp." Ganon told Ike "He's right, Ike. The world is simply moving on a new path. We must accept that relics of the past will eventually fade away." Ike, after regaining his composure and stopping his wailing, accepted that his favorite store, for him to look at Adventure Time and Metallica album cover art, was gone. Dedede, being an fucking idiot, smashed open the closed down gate and told everyone to get inside quick, before mall security arrived. Everyone went inside and discovered that the Hot Topic was being renovated to a Sears discount lot.
Ike was pissed. Ike exclaimed "This is completely bullshit now! They're making the bomb ass gucci as fuck store into a fucking little shithole for cheap assholes and homeless people, not to mention idiot moms with cheap ass wallet sizes." Game & Watch then loudly said "NIGGERS!" Ike told Game & Watch to calm down, but the mall security, being comprised of Kirby, Ness, and Fortnite Default Guy: the chief of the mall police, had arrived. Dedede, again, being an fucking retarded nutsack, threw a gordo at the police. Out of nowhere, Shaggy Rogers came in and deflected the gordo back at Dedede, impaling it on his face. Dedede doesn't die though, as Dedede is immune to death as he is a stupid algorithm who doesn't abide by the laws of physics or reality. Taking the bloodied up gordo off his face, Dedede shouted "How dare you attack a king, you lanky scrooge!?" Shaggy replied "Like, you're just on edge, man. You need to chill out and accept that you're gonna lose this fight, man." Shaggy then rushed at Dedede, singling him out., but then…..
Captain Falcon came in and said "HEY! You can't do that my friends! You're just a bully, Norville Rogers!" Shaggy, having realized himself, left the battle, leaving Kirby, Ness, and Default Guy to defeat the ones they've dubbed as The Degenerates. Ike, knowing not what to do, began to N-air constantly. Ness threw a PK Fire, but it had no effect on the mildly upset crybaby. Kirby tried to do a kicking attack, but he was launched by Ike's sword. Default Guy simply gave up and called for backup, but the group, lead by Ike, had already escaped the mall. The gang got into Game & Watch's 1979 Ford Pinto, and drove off. "Thanks for that help back there Falcon. We couldn't have gotten out without you." "No problem Ganon." said Captain Falcon. "Hey Captain, look close to that window." said Ike. Falcon leaned close to the window, and Dedede opened the car door and pushed him out of it, leaving CF on the pavement of the mall parking lot. "GAD DAMMAT! I'LL GET YOU KIDS!" shouted Falcon.
Everyone drove away laughing their asses off. They then felt a big bump under their car. They looked out and saw Lucina, who they had just run over. She has holding her sword and an unopened Sunny-D. Ganon took the Sunny-D and left Lucina's corpse on the pavement. "Good steal Ganon." said Ike. "Beep Nigger Boop" said G&W. "Good idea G&W. We'll call ourselves the Degenerates after what those mall guards called us." The gang laughed together as they drove back to their meeting place of the McDonald's Playplace, all while the cops were tailing their car. They eventually lost the cops through an elementary school that they drove through. They gang made it back to McDonald's without a trace of the police on them.
(And so their journey begins where the group will face great perils, like Kirby absorbing Lucina's corpse, and Ness crying so much he brings back Giygas. What will await our somewhat heroes? Find out in the next exciting chapter.)
-Chapter 1, END.