This takes place after both animes, Brotherhood verse.
Golden Guardians
"Who are they?"
"New hosts?
"Boy do I hope so, look at them!"
"I've never seen that eye color before!"
"I've never seen a man with hair that long."
"Do you think he's straight?"
"I want to request them so bad!"
"What dye do you think they use for their hair?"
"I don't know, but it's gorgeous."
A barely audible whine drifted out of one of the two blonde boys as he turned his head to peek over his shoulder at the poorly concealed crowd whispering a few feet behind them. The bookshelves the mob was hiding behind doing nothing to conceal the constant shrieks and whispers from the group.
The small loveseat the men were situated on was located in a far corner of music Room #3, obscured for the most part with large rustic bookcases, displays, and fancy plants meant to evoke a research library. A slightly louder screech of "Oh my god one of them is looking this way!" sent his head snapping forward to look across the low coffee table to three women who kept glancing their way every now and again while speaking to a brown-haired boy who, thankfully, had been trying to steer the conversation off the newcomers.
"So Haruhi, who are they?" He heard one of the girls ask in a hushed tone, her eyes darting to them briefly before returning to the host before her, "Are they guests?"
He responded with a sigh, this was the third time she'd asked, might as quit dodging, "Ah- kindof? They're friends of mine, and they're waiting for my club duties to be over so we can go work on a….group project."
The girl's friend, a red-head with curls spoke up, "So they requested you then?"
The boy snorted, "More like they don't have anywhere else to be. They're not hosts if that's what you're wondering."
If that's what they're wondering, Edward scoffed, rolling his eyes as he heard collective sounds of disappointment ring out behind him, You'd have to be deaf and blind to think they're wondering about anything else.
Frowns adorned the three girls before them, and the one on the end of the couch, bleach blonde shoulder-length hair, looked to the floor and muttered a quiet, "Pity."
Slouching down on the loveseat, Edward bit back a groan, his golden hair straying from the neat ponytail in favor of riding up the back of the couch.
"This is stupid." Edward mumbled, glowering through his bangs.
Alphonse sighed, knowing full well this was coming sooner or later with how fidgety Ed had been since being introduced to the Host club's shenanigans that morning. "Brother, you know she's actually in danger and we are being paid for this."
"I'm not talking about the mission, I'm talking about the club- this is ridiculous, how the hell did Mustang rope us into this? I'm retired!"
"You agreed to it, Ed." Hearing a grumble from his left, Alphonse continued, "You know full well why they called us in, they can't send anyone else."
"Yeah yeah, undercover whatever. Why didn't they just send you? Why do I need to be here? It's not like I'll be of much use if this is an alchemist we're after."
"Uh maybe because I'm not and never was with the military? This was a favor Mustang asked you. And I know you're just as curious about our 'cousin' as I am."
With a sneer Edward jerked his head towards the blonde in question, currently sandwiched between two girls on a couch, barely visible beyond the arrangement of potted ficus' to their left. Rolling his eyes and looking back to his brother he threw his hands toward the boy in question, "Are you kidding me?! That moron is too stupid to be related to either of us!"
"Who are you talking about?"
The intrusion of a new voice caused the siblings to jump in their seats, and Al shot his brother a look before fielding the question from one of the nameless girls on the couch, "No-one, Ed's just being an idiot."
Said boy scowled and said just loud enough for his brother to hear, "Yeah sure, I'm the idiot here."
"Stop it, he's just excited." Al replied, matching his brother's volume, "Like you've never acted like an idiot when you were excited."
"Don't you dare compare me to-" As if to make his case, Ed pointed back towards the King of the host club, leaving his brother leaning around him to take a peek, "That." Spotting the man making a fuss over something trivial, throwing his arms up and pointing at something in his hands, Alphonse squinted to see exactly what the blonde was explaining so animatedly to the slowly-growing sea of women. The increasing volume of the commotion was beginning to attract a crowd, drawing the attention of the older brother as well as he peeked over the arm of the loveseat, equally curious as everyone else in the room.
The voices grew together to a point that they blended together and made it hard to distinguish exactly what was going on, "I'm sure there's a good explanation for whatever's going on over there…" Alphonse mumbled, losing interest in the argument in favor of curiosity.
A sudden screech coming from the spectacle they were watching drew their full attention as an argument seemed to break out among the girls and Tamaki stood up to full height, his face screwed up in determination, "Haruhi!" he barked, with an air of authority neither of the brothers expected after the display that morning, his reasoning for being president of the club apparently making an appearance.
They heard a brief, "Yeah?" from behind them, never taking their eyes off the scene.
"We require your assistance for a most urgent matter!" Al and Ed shared a look and made to stand up as Tamaki shouted again, putting the back of his hand to his forehead for emphasis. "This poor child has never had the exquisite fortune of tasting instant coffee! She didn't even know what it was!"
Gone was the authority in his voice, replaced with some sort of anguish that left the boys falling ungracefully back onto the couch.
"All that drama for instant coffee?!" Edward hissed pushing himself back up on the seat, "What the actual hell?" Turning to his brother with an irritated smirk, "Still think he's not an idiot, Al?"
They heard a sigh come from the host to their right, "Oh he's an idiot all right," pushing himself to his feet, he walked by mumbling and grumbling about instant coffee and rich people.
"Should we follow he- uh, him?"
"Probably. Stupid assignment."
The assignment was of course, a favor requested by Mustang. Negotiations on alliances with foreign countries had begun to open up after the Promised Day, and Japan was no exception. A girl had witnessed a criminal in the area leaving the scene of a murder, the Japanese police had suspected alchemy to have played a part due to the...odd circumstances the body was found in, and reached out to Amestris for aid, but they weren't given much more than that- leaving the brothers to think that the request for the Elrics had less to do with alchemy and more to do with this supposed cousin of theirs.
The girl's father had gone to the principal about extra protection during the school day for his daughter and the other students seeing as the police made it clear the criminal may target her and her friends. The head of the school then reached out to the Amestrian military about roughly the same time the police had, to request an alchemist be sent to the school to protect the students until said criminal was caught. Suoh, the principal, had said he'd recognized the name of the Fullmetal Alchemist in the papers and claimed to be a relative of his mother's. He also said that such a young soldier would blend in seamlessly with the student body and judging by the young man's accomplishments, should have no problem acting as a bodyguard until the murderer was apprehended. And so the request was placed alongside a sizeable donation to whichever branch of the military could coax the alchemist out of retirement, not that there was ever any other branch that was capable of doing that besides Mustang's.
Before either Elric could get up, a quiet voice drew their attention, "So what are your names?"
Turning to look at the trio of girls still sitting on the couch ahead of them Ed rolled his eyes with a grunt and pushed himself up the rest of the way, "You wanna deal with this?"
"What?! Don't leave me here alone with them!" Al hissed.
Sparing his brother a quick glance and a shit-eating grin, Ed took off in the direction Haruhi had gone, "Shoulda got up faster then!"
"Brother!"
With a pout, Al resigned himself to his fate with a sigh. Directing his attention back to the girls who simply stared back at him curiously, he tried to grin but it came out as more of a grimace, "Sorry about that, my brother's not really a people person…uh..." He stretched his hand out toward them, "I'm Alphonse, the shortie is my brother Edward."
They heard a muffled "I'm taller than you jackass!" from beyond the wall of ficus Ed had disappeared into causing Al to grin for real.
"By half an inch." He mock-whispered to the girls in front of him, "I really don't think it counts. Especially when I was taller than him for most of the time growing up."
ꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥ
"Can't believe I have to do this…" Edward mumbled as he made his way through the maze of furniture and guests, his hands in the pockets of the school's powder-blue uniform. "Better than being subjected to a million questions by nosy women but weaving my way through this mess of a room is ridiculous." His barely audible utterings went unnoticed, but his presence did not. The closer he got to the center of the crowd where the girl he was sent to protect and his cousin were chattering, the more and more people noticed his approach. "Stupid assignment." He continued grumbling as he got closer. "Stupid cousin. Stupid girls. Stupid rich people. Who the hell needs a 300,000 cenz school uniform or emerald encrusted pots for a ficus. I bet their teacups are lined with gold, what a waste of money."
He made to stop a little ways away from Tamaki and Haruhi who had been entertaining a small group of girls, explaining the intricacies of instant coffee and how it was different from what they were usually exposed to. Rolling his eyes he pulled out his pocket watch to check the time, "You've gotta be kidding me", he groaned, "There's 30 more minutes of this?"
"Did you say something?" Ed looked to his left at the girl who spoke, judging by her expression she heard what he said but was probably avoiding calling him out on it to avoid a scene. Too late, he thought as he noticed most of the crowd's attention was now on him, including the two hosts.
"Ah, Edward! Come to try some of this instant coffee? You've heard of it, right?" Tamaki asked with a wide smile, pointing to the small tray of mugs on the end table behind them.
Ed squinted trying to make sense of the question, "Heard of it? I drink the stuff every day," He frowned, confusion clear on his face, "The hell kinda coffee are you used to?"
A fews gasps rung out alongside some murmurings in the crowd, as Edward walked forward and grabbed a mug- no cup. It was a tea cup, porcelain with-hold the phone. Edward held the cup away from him looking it up and down, the inside of it seemed to be an even coat of gold with decorative golden filigree in intricate patterns around the outside.
I fucking knew it, he thought as he took a sip from the cup.
Confused at his behaviour with the teacup, Tamaki busied himself with answering the other blonde's question, "Well, I typically import Hacienda la Esmeralda* from Panama for...I think it was roughly 53,000 yen?"
Almost immediately, Ed spit his coffee out, turning to look Tamaki in the eye, coffee dripping down his chin, "A CUP?!"
Tamaki shifted uncomfortably as Ed wiped his mouth on his sleeve, "No a pound."
"Like that's much better, what the fuck! Don't you people have anything better to waste your money on?"
The room had gone silent and Ed couldn't tell whether it was the possible (probable) insult against rich folk, or his language that left the room quiet, but as Tamaki was about to respond, he saw Alphonse approaching from the corner of his eye.
"Brother!" Al scolded as he stood in front of his sibling, "I can't leave you alone for a second without you insulting someone, can I? Would it kill you to be polite for one minute?"
"Polite? Al are you joking? I've been nothing but cordial this whole day!"
"Congrats, Ed, you behaved for a whopping 24 hours. Bravo."
"Oh yuck it up, why don't you? You'd be just as appalled at the blatant waste of money this guy spends a week!"
Tamaki blinked, "How did you know I-"
Al sighed cutting him off, the quiet interruption completely unnoticed, "That's no excuse, brother. You said you'd be good while we were here!"
"Oh like this wasn't warranted!"
"Knowing you, it wasn't."
"And what's that supposed to mean?"
The crowd that gathered now consisted of the other hosts as well, watching the scene as intently as the crowd of guests, Kyoya making notes in his journal as the two brothers bickered, clearly picking up some useful information from the interaction.
"I don't see what the problem is." Hikaru interrupted, his brother picking up when the three blondes turned in their direction, "Yeah, 53,000 is nothing. We easily spend twice that much for our coffee."
Al yelped, "53 thousand?!" Calculating with his fingers, he continued muttering just loud enough for their audience to hear, "That's almost 8 thousand a day, 2 and a half million a year…twice as much...5 million a year…"
"I told you it was a waste of money, Al! These people are nuts!"
Al groaned, hearing his brother arguing with both Tamaki and the twins on the outrageous spenditure. On one hand he wanted to scold his brother for being rude, but on the other….even the most expensive automail in Amestris didn't cost that much…
He looked over to Haruhi for help, only to see her face slightly pale as she watched the exchange, judging by the background they were given of her, she wasn't expecting that price tag, either.
The excuse of a lifetime came in the form of the school bell, signalling the end of club period, and conveniently silencing the argument.
Al patted his sibling on the shoulder to get his attention,"Oh look at that brother, the club's over."
Throwing his arms in the air, Ed turned to his brother and all but shouted, "Finally!" Before looking behind him, "Can we get going Haruhi? I want to get this project done sooner than later."
Haruhi nodded, "Yeah, okay, just let me grab my stuff and we can go."
"Okay!" Al nodded, pushing his brother toward the door, "We'll meet you outside the room. I don't trust Ed not to make another scene."
"Hey!"
ꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥꭥ
As the Host Club was rearranging the room and cleaning up for the day, Haruhi having already left with the Elrics, the twins approached Tamaki- successfully cornering him with his schoolbag by one of the windows.
"Hey boss…" Hikaru started, drawing his attention, "Are you sure you trust them with Haruhi?"
The blonde looked confused, "What do you mean? They're my cousins and her bodyguards, I get that they're a little odd being of the working class, but why shouldn't we trust them?"
Hikaru rolled his eyes, seriously? "Well, neither of them are particularly bad-looking, you know?"
Kaoru looked to his brother, crossing his arms in thought, "They're also more relatable to her than any of us, did you see how they reacted to our coffee prices? Almost the spitting image of Haruhi and the vase."
Turning his full attention to his twin, Hikaru frowned, "You think they'll try to court her? The loud-mouthed one was following her around a lot."
Spluttering for a second, Tamaki shook his head, "Because that's what we hired him for! He's a bodyguard!"
"Well he is a guy, boss. And the girls were all over him, though he only seemed to have eyes for Haruhi."
Throwing his arms up in the air, Tamaki nearly dropped his bag, "Because he's supposed to be watching her-"
"And he is your cousin." Kaoru pointed out, Hikaru picking up where he left off.
"And they'll be spending more time with her than even we do since they'll be staying in her apartment and all."
"Maybe even her room."
"Who knows what could happen."
The twins internally smirked as Tamaki blanched. Sure, they were actually worried about Haruhi and these so-called 'bodyguards' but that didn't mean they couldn't have fun with it, and Tamaki, having accepted the arrangement at face-value, hadn't kept a close eye on what exactly the trio in question were doing during club period. Truthfully, that surprised the entire club, Tamaki hadn't been the least bit suspicious once he was told they were relatives. He simply accepted them with open arms, and the fact that they were sent to protect Haruhi only seemed to be icing on the cake.
Tamaki's mind running a mile a minute, he tried to think of a defense for the Elrics, but not much was coming to the forefront of his mind. "I- they wouldn't!"
"How do you know that? Isn't this the first time you've met?" The Prince of the Host Club was silent the second those words were spoken. That was most definitely true, Tamaki had never met the Elrics before today, and though they seemed like good people, the truth of the matter was he'd only known them for less than 24 hours. He didn't actually know who they were as people. They were bodyguards, who knows who they've guarded before. They could be assassins...or murderers! He could be related to people like that! He really didn't know much of his extended family, but his father spoke so kindly about his Aunt he couldn't imagine-...
What if they did try to court Haruhi? What if they both tried to court her? At the same time! Like...like some freaky Hikaru-Kaoru twincest type-deal? What if they fought over her- they're bodyguards! What if Haruhi got hurt in the fight for her love? What if they killed the competition? Or worse- Haruhi!
This train of thought made Tamaki break out into a nervous sweat. He really didn't know them, and his overactive imagination began reaching to the furthest corners of his mind to pull in worse and worse scenarios and whatever justification it could think of. They were from Amestris. A country that little was known about save for their military state and ability to hold its borders against any who'd dared attack them. And they weren't just people from there, they were military-issued bodyguards! What kind of a person could a country like that produce? Murderers! Probably killers! What if Haruhi was a target instead of their charge! What if they were involved with the crime Haruhi witnessed! What if-
"I don't think they would do something like that, though the long-haired one was kinda mean." Hunny spoke, breaking the silence and saving the taller blonde from his self-induced nightmare.
Tamaki looked to Hunny feeling slightly -only slightly- relieved, by the statement.
"They didn't seem too interested in the prospect of becoming hosts, either." Kyoya nodded, drawing Tamaki's attention from Hunny, "Though I agree with the twins. Tamaki, are you sure you should really leave her alone with strange men from a foreign military considering her views on gender? Remember what happened the last time."
"I forgot they were military!" Kaoru all but shouted, slapping a hand to his forehead.
"Oh man what if she can't fight back?"
"What if they threaten her? The one did seem kinda brutish!"
Kyoya took this opportunity to interrupt the twins speculation and cut off some of the nastier ideas, much to Tamaki's relief, "Amestris is very far behind technologically, but from what I can dig up on the internet, either from Amestrian papers, or rumors, the Fullmetal Alchemist seems pretty accomplished."
"...The what?" Both twins and Tamaki huddled around the portable computer Kyoya presented as he set it down on an end table. The laptop screen was covered with candid photos and scanned newspaper articles overlapping one another- one of which that was noticably dated in the 1900s.
"The Fullmetal Alchemist, it's Edward Elric's military title." Kyoya informed as the rest of the hosts clicked through image after image of photos that were unmistakenly Ed. "Why that's his title I'm not sure. Most of their files are paper trails and nothing I can get my hands on. He seems to have a pretty good reputation as the "Alchemist of the People" in his home country, though one of their articles says he was last sighted a few years ago. There are a few death hoaxes floating around because of it."
"So what you're saying is," Hikaru began skeptically, "He's a good guy?"
Kyoya shrugged, "That's what it appears, but taking a journalist's word as fact is a foolish move."
"So...what, we're back to square one?" Kaoru frowned, in the end if they couldn't believe the only articles on this guy, they really had no information besides what they started with. "We still don't know if these guys are a danger to Haruhi or not."
"Well he's clearly dangerous," Hikaru snapped, "Nobody can just accomplish the stuff in these articles without being able to hold his own in a fight. There's got to be at least a grain of truth to these."
Kaoru quirked an eyebrow, "'Youngest Amestrian soldier at age 12, single-handedly removes vicious train-jacker group, saving esteemed General Hakuro.' What part of that do you think was embellished?"
"Who's to say," Kyoya shrugged, "That article looks to be a translated scan from an Amestrian paper. Though I think it's safe to say his age is probably accurate. He seems rather young, no older than any of us, and his standing in the military suggests he's been in it for longer than a year." How he got into the military that young, and why, were another matter entirely.
Hikaru frowned and shook is head, "Yikes, if this is what he was doing at 12, I'd hate to see what he can do now."
"Bodyguard."
"Takashi's right!" Hunny exclaimed, as he climbed up to perch on his cousin's shoulder, "He'd be no use as a bodyguard if he can't fight!"
"Somehow, I don't think we have to worry about his credentials." Kyoya supplied, turning to look at Hikaru as he stepped forward to speak,
"What about his brother? If Ed's the bodyguard why the heck is he here?"
Tamaki was about to pipe up that Edward was not his only relative, and he had wanted to meet the both of them, as did his father, but Kyoya beat him to the punch.
"I've seen Alphonse mentioned very briefly, but he shows up captioned in quite a few pictures." With that, Kyoya threw a handful of images to the table, removing the laptop to make room. The photos were varied in quality and type, some blurry, others from behind, only one is of a military procession in uniform where Ed clearly looks much younger, the same one from the online article from a Japanese tabloid. In each one he is accompanied by a large suit of armor, captioned simply as "his brother" or "Alphonse Elric".
Kaoru picked up a photo that was taken from behind, Ed on the left, the armor on the right. Ed's arms were out to his sides gesturing as he spoke to his brother, who he was looking up at, with a good 4 foot difference between them. "Wait, that scrawny kid is the same one wearing this armor?"
Hikaru ripped the photo out of his twin's hand to get a closer look, "Look at the size of that thing, it has to be like 9 feet tall! There's no way! How would he even move in something like that?"
Tamaki by this point, had calmed down enough and returned to his rational mind at the mention of the Elrics being heroes. Surely his father wouldn't have requested them if they were dangerous. They weren't just here for Haruhi, though she was their main concern, they were here for the entire student body. So it would make sense that Ed wouldn't come alone, but...well there's no way his father would endanger the children of important clients and innocent students! If he were going to do that he wouldn't have asked for protection in the first place!
"Now just hold on a minute, you're all assuming the worst!" Tamaki began, they were his family and he did want to get to know them afterall. Clearly they couldn't be bad or they wouldn't be here, though the host club had raised more doubts than he cared to admit. "They're family, and by the sounds of it at least one of them is a hero, we should give them the benefit of the doubt-"
"Like your grandmother?"
The room went quiet, and Tamaki froze. After the incident with Eclair and Tamaki being blackmailed by the woman, the topic of his paternal grandmother didn't come up often and was usually avoided unless brought up by Tamaki himself. "Sorry." Hikaru swallowed, "I-I went to far with that, boss…"
With a sigh Tamaki seemed to thaw, "No...no, you're right. As much as I want to give them the benefit of the doubt, I shouldn't… My grandmother is a good example of how...unpredictable.. family can be. We don't know them…." There was a quiet pause, and Tamaki's eyes blazed with determination when he finally spoke again, "And as such, I have made a decision!"
"In order to investigate Haruhi's bodyguards and determine her safety, I propose a surprise sleepover! Men, get ready! We'll head over at 7!"
AN's
ꭥ-Alchemical symbol for death. I wanted life and death with an infinity sign between them but apparently if it's not involved in greek lettering it doesnt exist in computer codes. Life is the same symbol but the broken part of the circle is facing up. They sometimes have necks, I think its supposed to but hey, this is as close as I can get with this.
*I googled the most expensive coffees in the world and grabbed one of the fancier sounding ones, said it was 500$ a pound which according to google is 53,187.50 yen
Since yen and cenz are presumably the same thing, I'm letting them be equal for this fic, makes things easier. For reference, 300,000 yen=$3,000, the price of an Ouran Academy uniform. I'm not rich, I don't know how much things cost in that end of the world- I can hardly justify spending more than $35 on a t-shirt; but ive seen plain white dresses running $1000 on certain websites, so here's hoping the coffee price is believable.
Anyway, was supposed to be a two-shot but seems there will be more. Oops.
Let me know if the summary is any good. I wasn't sure if I went to vague with it, but who really knows where this is going. Beyond the second chapter, I sure don't!