Training Wheels

"I told you, Hayate."

"What?" The brunette commander was clearly distracted as she typed up assignments for the new divisions that would be active by the end of the month. Normally Yuuno wouldn't bother his friends when they were stressed over work, but he really needed a friendly ear to rant to. And considering his other best friends consisted of Nanoha (not suitable for this rant), Fate (even more unsuitable for this rant), and Chrono (the worst possible person for this rant), Yuuno didn't really have a choice but to come sprawl on Hayate's office couch as Hayate half-listened to and half-ignored him.

"Once is an occurrence. Twice is a trend. Three times? Now that's a pattern!"

"Hm?"

Yuuno sighed, hanging his head. His glasses slipped down. "Teana dumped me yesterday."

"Oh?" Hayate finally looked up after a pause, her face too carefully blank to not have swiftly hidden some initial reaction.

"…You don't sound very surprised. Or sympathetic, I might add."

"Sorry—I am surprised! And sympathetic." But the mixture of relief and amusement on Hayate's face didn't really help her case. "I mean, other than Vice I didn't think that you'd have any real competition…"

"Thanks," Yuuno grumbled sourly. "No, it wasn't Vice. It was Subaru. Which just proves my point!"

He slapped his hand on his thigh, exclaiming, "I'm a lesbian's training wheels. All the girls I go out with eventually break up with me and then promptly go date other girls!"

Hayate stared at him. Then she broke down, laughing so hard she nearly fell off her workchair. "What?"

"I am!" Yuuno scowled and pushed his glasses up, counting off on his fingers. "First Nanoha asked me out. We dated for a few weeks before we broke up—and then she went on to date Fate for eight years! And now they're married!"

"Well…they're kind of an odd case," his friend tried to soften the sting. "I mean, look at them—Nanoha-chan and Fate-chan had this whole star-crossed lovers vibe when they first met, then they had a whole epic love story between them. It was kind of in the cards for them."

"I'm not bitter, really," clarified Yuuno. "I'm delighted for them—I was Nanoha's best man! But you see, at that time I should have known! The next person I dated was Shamal, as you remember—"

"Vividly," Hayate said dryly. She had been the one to appease her over-protective knights at the time when the Wolkenritter had been very unsubtle about testing the mettle of the young man who dared to try for one of their own. Yuuno had been very impressed with her negotiation skills after the first harrowing family dinner he had attended as Shamal's boyfriend. Even so, Hayate had looked relieved when she didn't have to play peace-keeper between her best friend and her family anymore.

"And then three months later, we broke up. After which Shamal started a relationship with Signum!"

"There were circumstances?" Hayate offered weakly. "Signum had been in love with Shamal for many lifetimes before, but it was the first time she dared to actually express it without worrying that their Master was going to abuse their feelings. And since this is their last life Signum didn't want to live with regrets…"

"I know! They're great together, and I'm glad that they're both so happy. But you see! Shamal hadn't wanted to date anybody, until she finally said yes to me. And then she got comfortable with the whole dating thing…and then she agreed to go out with Signum." Yuuno let his head fall back against the back of the couch, letting out a groan. "She told me afterward that she was pretty sure that she was gay the whole time—but that she liked me because I wasn't like other guys." He grunted, flopping upright again and raising his eyebrow to Hayate.

"Okay, you do have a bit of a point there…" Hayate swiveled her chair around, kicking against her desk so that she coasted across the tile over to the couch, propping her elbows on her knees as she counseled, "But really, Yuuno, I think you're seeing things where they don't exist…"

"Really?" He gave her a look. "Teana. Dated Vice, but they broke up quickly because she didn't feel ready for a relationship. Then she and I went out, and Teana said that she felt a lot more comfortable." Yuuno sighed, pulling off his glasses and faceplanting onto the couch arm, moaning in self-pity. "Yeah, she sure worked up her courage and comfort level…enough to go date Subaru afterward."

More sounds of rolling chair wheels, and Hayate glided over beside Yuuno, patting his head comfortingly. "Aw, Yuuno-kun—I think you're being too hard on yourself."

"But it's just me!" His muffled reply sounded far too whiny. He popped up, pacing around Hayate's office while waving his glasses as he ranted. "Look at Chrono! He dated Amy, and now they're married! Or Vice, who dated Teana, who then dated me! Another guy! Not like me, all my exes go date girls! It's like…it's like I'm girly enough that lesbians feel comfortable with me!"

Yuuno saw Hayate bite down on a smile, and he gave her a dejected glare. "See, even you think so! Urgh, why can't I be like other guys?" His shoulders slumped. "They have the assertiveness and straightforwardness to go ask girls out instead of being asked, even if sometimes they come off like jerks. They like to hit punching bags, not books. Or they're all brooding instead of smiling all the time. And they go around shooting things or blowing things up instead of healing and making shields. Even Nanoha blows things up more than I do! Face it, I'm not manly at all! You know, Hayate, sometimes I wonder if girls would treat me more like a guy if I was…you know…stereotypically manlier or something."

"Yuuno-kun…" Hayate caught onto his hand, forcing him to stop in his pacing. "Hey, come on, look at me?" When he finally did, she smiled, her bright blue eyes twinkling. "You're a nice guy, Yuuno-kun. You're polite, you respect girls, and when you're not frazzled and worried, you're happy with who you are. How many other guys are like that?"

Yuuno mumbled something unintelligible, feeling somewhat lighter. Well, when she put it that way, it didn't sound half-bad…

"In fact," Hayate continued, getting off her chair to face him directly, "You're the manliest man I know, since you're so sensitive to what girls really want." She winked at him, her grin turning seductive. "Actually, that trait is pretty sexy…"

"Uh…" Eyes bulging, Yuuno looked at Hayate, his face flooding red. Okay, Hayate was sweet, smart and funny—he had a crush on her before too, so this wouldn't exactly be a rebound. And she seemed interested, so all he had to do was pluck up his assertiveness and—

"Yuuno-kun," Hayate said seriously, clasping his hand in both of hers, "Will you go out on a date with me?"

Author's Note: This is written from a challenge by 00-Raiser/F91 (the challenge arising from a fun bet between us that we both won and both lost at =P), with the requirements of a story about Yuuno in a straight relationship that ends happily.

…of course, your mileage may vary on how "happy" the ending is for poor Yuuno! ^_-