You stare him in the eye and say you love him, why doesnt he hear you? Why doesnt he do anything? Say anything back? Well maybe because Its only a picture.
You let him get to you when he was around. He dug deep under skin, you knew you could never win. You miss him but nothing seems to bring him back. Your calls? Notta chance, they dont even go threw. Letters? Just shredded in a pile at your desk, you never even get the nerve to send them. Your emails? C'mon, really? You have no chance of sending them.
You barely eat because missing him gets to you, it hurts you and theres no real cure. Everyone stares at you with this unwanted look. Sorrow, Pain, and your skins lurid from your lack of food.
Depression hit you only the day after he left. It was like a slap in the face to only be able to read the note he left you but nothing else, not really. Only memories, but what are they compared to the real thing? They are nothing.
You could move on....but who are you kidding? You'll never find another like him.
At some point you convinced yourself that it was your fault he left and you remember...
"You should just go then...Just leave me...I dont care." You said, shrugging, what a great actress you were as you said it. You did care but you wanted him happy not knowing what it'd actually do to you.
"Are you sure?" He caught your arm as you tried to walk away and he pulled you to him, making you look him in the eye. You smiled so convincingly like it was so simple to lie to him. You've gotten better at it with all the time you spent with him. He'd always been a class A liar around everyone but you. With you he never lied. But then, right in his face you spat a simple lie here and there. Not much but you'd pay for it later.
"Yes, Im proud of you, so proud" You almost cried. "How long will you be gone?" You couldn't help but ask.
"2-3-4 years?" He leaned down and kissed you gently, this gentleness you've grown to love about him, He trapped you against the wall and himself, you could feel the heat,
"C-can we not" You ask, pulling away from him. you never pull away from him. never. It hurt to much the thought of losing him. He backs away and you run from his room going to your own room, slamming the door and locking it. You put your back against the door, breathing heavy as tears poor down your face and you slid down to the floor. "I'll miss you."
Now you cant help but ask, where'd he go? and you still say you miss him only now he cant hear you.
A knock comes on your door and your hesatent to open because you look a mess. But you do anyway. You begin to tremmble when you see him, you hadn't kept track of the days, weeks, months, or years. but it had been 4 years. "Der-ek!" You cry, throwing yourself at him. "Derek!" You sob.
"I thought you said you'd be OK casey" He said with a soft smile lighting up his face.
"I lied" You say, and smile.