a/n: I got this idea when I was walking home from school with my glow-in-the-dark bunny ears, necklace and bracelet. (Our school just had a glow-in-the-dark/laser light dance SO COOL!) Anyway, when I was walking home I was listening to my iPod and the song "Goodbye" by Avril Lavigne came on and BAM! I got a song-fic idea for a Cargan story so ENJOY!
P.S: This is my first song-fic AND my first Cargan!
Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or "Goodbye" by Avril Lavigne. *sigh*
Carlos POV
I couldn't believe it. I was diagnosed with leukemia. The doctors said that it was spotted it way too late. They said I wasn't going to survive the next two weeks, even with chemotherapy.
I was so sad- depressed even. I didn't want to die! I didn't want to leave my family! I didn't want to leave Kendall, James, Mrs. Knight and Katie. I especially didn't want to leave Logan. I loved that boy with all of my heart.
But no matter how much I wanted to stay with everyone I knew that there was no way I could be with them any longer. It was time for me to say goodbye.
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye my love
I can't hide, can't hide, can't hide what has come
I have to go, I have to go, I have to go and leave you alone
But always know, always know, always know, that I love you so
I love you so, I love you so
You lay down with me on my hospital bed. Ever since I had found out that I had leukemia about a week ago you wouldn't leave my side. "Do you have to go Carlitos?" you asked sadly, tears glassing your beautiful eyes. "I don't want to Logie, but… I have to. I guess God has decided that it's now my time to leave this world that we live in."
"But… I don't want you to go Carlos. You need to stay," you cried. I reached over and caressed your cheek. "I don't want to go, but when I do… know that I love you." "I love you too."
Goodbye, brown eyes
Goodbye, for now
Goodbye, sunshine
Take care of yourself
I have to go, I have to go, and leave you alone
But always know, always know, always know, that I love you so
I love you so, oh, I love you so, oh
As you slept I watched, completely distressed. I didn't want to die! I wanted to be able to wake up in your arms and look up, seeing your brown eyes watching over me as we cuddled.
You're my sunshine and if it weren't for you my whole life would be full of darkness. You shine brighter than the sun or any star in the sky, just by being you Logan.
I need you to take care of yourself while I'm gone. I need you to make sure that you don't become depressed. I need you to make sure that you don't blame yourself for what happened; you didn't see the signs. No one did. I need you to find someone else that's better than me to make you happy again Logie. Stay healthy for me Logie, because I don't plan on seeing where I will be any time soon.
La, la lullaby, distract me with your eyes
La, la lullaby
La. La lullaby, help me sleep tonight
La, la lullaby
I'm fading Logie. It's getting harder and harder for me to stay awake, but I'm fighting, just for you. You know my problem Loge. It's not helping that every night you sing one of my favorite songs, "Talking to the Moon," by Bruno Mars. Every time you sing I try to focus on your eyes and not the pain or the sleep; just your eyes. Please stop singing my lullaby babe; I don't want to sleep… because I'm afraid I might never wake up.
I have to go, I have to go, I have to go
And leave you alone
But always know, always know, always know
That I love you so
I love you so (x6)
Goodbye, brown eyes, goodbye my love
I died last night Logie… my birthday. December, 3rd, 2011. I was going to be 18 this year Logan. A couple days ago you all threw me small party. It was so fun.
I died in my sleep Loges, a couple hours after your last lullaby to me. We all knew this was going to happen sooner or later. We all hoped it was later but God decided that it was now my time.
I'm in Heaven now Logie. It's beautiful up here. I miss you so much, but I hope you are happy… eventually. I watch you every day, just to make sure you're okay. I see you crying. You're on our bed on my side, holding my pillow close to your face. Don't be sad Logan, it makes me sad. Find a new man or woman that makes you happy. As long as you're happy, I'm happy.
It's my funeral today babe. You're in Minnesota with everybody. I know you don't know many people there but don't worry, they're nice. You're wearing a black suit with a matching tie and shoes. I see you with Kenny and Jamie. All of you are crying. PLEASE DON'T CRY! I hate seeing any of you cry. It breaks my heart.
I see all of family. My parents made a speech. They cried. My siblings made a speech. They cried. Kendall and James made speeches. They cried. You made a speech. You sobbed.
You, Kenny, and Jamie sang a song together you sang "Goodbye" by Avril Lavigne. I saw you three cry all the while. I cried too Logie. I almost couldn't take it, but I had to make sure you were okay. I cried even harder when you sang "Vanilla Twilight" by Owl City. I remember that I asked you to sing it before I passed. Thank you Logan.
When you got off stage they started to bury me six feet under. Everyone was crying! After everyone else you placed flowers by my headstone: Chrysanthemums. You know they're my favourite. You were on one knee, head bent, and tears were silently falling down your perfect face. "I love you Carlos," you whispered quietly. "I miss you," you finished.
"I miss you too Logie," I cried. "I love you."
a/n: Okay. I cried. Really hard. When I started writing the middle I started crying and by the end I was downright bawling. I'M STILL CRYING NOW! I never expected for this to make me so emotional. I hope you cried too! Just kidding, but I hope that you enjoyed my failed attempt at a song-fic.
BTW, for all of those reading Sticks and Stones and/or the New Girl I'm going to remove them then delist them and try again because FF is not letting me post new chapters.
R&R!