Fight…
It was dark, night had descended and what little light the moon and stars offered wasn't enough to pierce the dense canopy of the trees overhead. Even in the height of spring there was a cold wind in the air, remnants of a winter not long past.
The youngest Gilbert pulled his jacket more tightly upon himself, hands shoved deep into the pockets to conserve whatever heat he had.
Jeremy picked his way through the trees, stepping over roots and rocks, ducking under a low hanging branch every so often. The woods were like a second home to him, he'd spent many a day exploring the wonderment that they held. There was something about them that just relaxed Jeremy. Whenever he needed to be alone he would go for a walk in the woods, so familiar was he with the surrounds that he could navigate his way to his favourite clearing even at night, as he was now.
It was a text message from Tyler that had Jeremy walking through the woods come midnight, silently cursing himself and his boyfriend for dragging him from his warm bed and house with practically no explanation, just an enigmatic "Woods, clearing by the brook, midnight".
"What could he possibly want at this hour?" Jeremy huffed, his breath faintly misting in the night air.
Up ahead the trees starting thinning and Jeremy caught moon light glinting off the still surface of the brook. There weren't many animals in the woods, maybe the odd hare or fox but nothing to be overly concerned about.
By the edge of the lake Jeremy could see a figure, crouched and unmoving, dressed in your everyday jeans, shirt and jacket. "Tyler?" he called out, relieved when the figure turned at the sound and Jeremy saw his boyfriends face half lit by the moon.
It was then he noticed that something was wrong. It was written quite literally over Tyler's face. "What the hell?" Jeremy exclaimed, rushing forward when he saw the early discolouration and formation of a bruise on Tyler's left cheek, his eyes red and lip split. He looked almost as worse as Jeremy had back when they still fought. Even though the multitude of injuries had looked, and felt horrible, his face had always returned to its previous perfection.
"Hey" Tyler said softly when Jeremy reached him, wincing in pain when his smile cracked the already congealed blood on his lip and started bleeding again. It was hard for Jeremy to see Tyler in pain, when he'd seen the bruise it felt like a dirk carved from ice had been plunged through his heart. "Who did this to you?" he asked his voice thick with worry.
A flash of something passed through Tyler's eyes, it seemed dark, angry, a look that Jeremy had never seen before, not even when Tyler's rage had been focused on him, this was something far older and far more deep rooted.
Tyler remained silent, dark brown eyes shifting from Jeremy to the trees behind him, like he was expecting someone to emerge from the shadows…someone he was scared of.
Jeremy knew he shouldn't, not at a time like this when Tyler was in obvious pain, but he remembered the last time they'd kissed before Tyler snuck of home, the smile that had been on the older boys face right up to the moment he disappeared from sight. Being as gentle as he could Jeremy pressed his lips to Tyler's, lightly gripping his shoulder as he tasted the metallic tang of blood. "A kiss makes everything better" Jeremy thought, "Please let it be true".
The rest of the room was dark, the only light coming from the lamp on the desk where a solitary figure sat, hand moving calculatingly as the pencil scratched at the paper. It had been quite some time since Tyler had last drew in his sketch book, the previous drawings were rough designs made by teenager still learning the art.
He didn't really know what possessed him to rummage through his room in search of it, spending the better part of an hour searching his wardrobe, drawers, desk, under the bed and everywhere in between, eventually finding it lodged behind the headboard and the wall, the thin red ribbon tucked safely between pages poking out just enough for it to catch Tyler's eye.
As the point moved across the stark white of the page the grey lines began to take shape. Tyler had an image in his mind, but whether he could accurately portray it in drawing was another matter. He imagined that because of years of neglect his skill would have diminished, his eye for detail blurred and he'd be back at square one. However, much to his surprise and delight it seemed drawing was something you never forgot, like riding a bike or knowing the alphabet, Tyler found his hand moving with practiced ease.
It was the eyes that gave him the most trouble. They just never seemed right, never fit with the rest of his face. Jeremy had terribly expressive eyes, the kind that betray his every emotion and lays him bare for the world to see. Tyler could remember the first time he ever saw Jeremy; eyes alight with excitement as he raced around the backyard with Tyler and Matt at Elena's tenth birthday party. The memory brought a smile to Tyler's lips, it was then that he first knew he liked Jeremy, of course being ten he didn't realise the significance of that feeling until he was much older and slightly wiser.
"Tyler". He spun in his chair, startled to see his father standing in the doorway to his room. "You scared me dad" he said, rubbing at his eyes. He couldn't see his father properly, not with the door half shadowed in the dark. "Dinner is ready" Richard Lockwood announced as he walked into the room, annoyance evident in his voice "Your mother has called you four times already. What are you doing that so goddamn…" his voice trailed off, the mayor left speechless when he saw the sketch pad sitting open before his son. "What is that!" his father spat, pointing at the picture of Jeremy.
Tyler blushed, his embarrassment clear as day and all the answer that Richard needed.
It all seemed to happen at once and when Tyler looked back on it now it was nothing but a blur, a horrible painful blur. He had turned and tried to hide the drawing, making his first mistake. You never turn your back to Mayor Lockwood, son or no. Tyler felt a hand clutch the back of his neck, an iron grip that squeezed tight. With a hard yank he was sent crashing to the floor, his head bouncing heavily on the hardwood. His cry of pain was cut short as a swift kick was delivered to his stomach, driving the air from his lungs.
Two more kicks from his father's Italian leather shoes quashed any thoughts Tyler had of fighting back, the pain so strong he wished he would black out and feel nothing. Prayers unanswered he was picked up by the scruff of his collar "I will not have a gay son. You hear me!" Richard Lockwood yelled, his backhand swung with a hatred fuelled force that left Tyler reeling. He tasted blood and his left eye was closed, his right blurry but he could still make out his father's figure standing above him.
"Richard!" Tyler had never been so happy to hear his mother's voice, her scream piercing the room and stopping his father. He must have passed out for a short while because when he next opened his eyes he was still on the floor but there was a pillow under his head and his mom sat cross legged against the bed.
When she saw her son was awake she came forward and cradled him, "I'm sorry Tyler, I'm so sorry" she said between choked sobs, gently but shakily stroking his hair like she used to when he was younger.
Consciousness didn't last long, the blackness and solitude of unwilling sleep creeping in and drowning the pain, his mother's words repeating over and over again "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" until he heard no more.
There was an overturned log not far from the water's edge and Jeremy guided Tyler to it, helping him to sit as he shuddered from the pain in his ribs. "Are you sure nothing's broken?" Jeremy asked, his face a mix of worry and sympathy for Tyler.
"Yeah, nothing broken, just a whole lot of pain" he replied.
"I just can't believe that your own father would do this to you". Jeremy was angry Tyler thought. He glanced upward, you wouldn't know it from Jeremy's expression or tone, but his eyes, they were aflame. Tyler sighed and winced, the simple act causing his chest to ache. How much should Tyler tell him? Their relationship was good, probably better than any relationships before. He found himself really caring about Jeremy.
"Sit" Tyler said, patting the slightly moss covered log beside him. When Jeremy was beside him Tyler slid his hand into his boyfriends, heart thrumming happily at the contact. He drew strength from Jeremy, his sure grip grounding Tyler in this world where no one exists but the two of them. Here he can remove himself from the pain, both the physical and the mental that his father constantly throws at him, he can be the man he so desperately wants to be, someone that Jeremy would be happy to stand beside in front of family and friends and declare "I love this man".
"This isn't the first time he's done this" Tyler stated. He felt Jeremy's grip tighten, a momentary reflex of shock. "I can't remember when it started, thankfully, but I've had to endure it for years. There's no way I can avoid it, he always finds some reason to be disappointed in me, football, grades, drinking, parties, girls. 'You're a Lockwood' he would say, 'You have a responsibility to this family, to our name and reputation'." He didn't know he was crying until the first tear rolled across his battered cheek and dropped to the dirt below.
Tyler took in a shaky breath and continued, "I suppose it's one of the reasons I would pick fights with you at school. He made me ashamed and angry at myself for my mistakes, but I couldn't hit him, I couldn't fight back. I never had the courage to, so instead I focused on you. I needed an emotional outlet, I was bottling everything up and you…" he sighed a heavy burdened sigh, "You were you. Elena's little brother, the punk ass kid who did drugs, drank too much, was sweet on my girlfriend and…you were the most incredibly beautiful person I'd ever seen. My feelings for you scared the hell out of me and I didn't know how to process them, so in the end I settled for fighting. It was all I knew and at least that way, I could be close to you", he fell quiet for just a moment.
"My father's rage and my attraction to you are the sum of my life. It was messed up, but that's no excuse for what I did and I live every day in shame because of it. You deserved and still do deserve better than me. I'm broken, inside and out and I can't give you what you deserve".
It was a most uncharacteristic thing for Tyler but he couldn't stop the tears as they fell. It pained him to say the words he'd always believed deep down but was too scared to admit out loud. That part of us, the negative little voice in our heads that feeds upon our fears and magnifies our insecurities, twisting our own thoughts against us until they become almost alien, a manifestation of terrors and nightmares seeking to destroy us from within.
Tyler sniffled and it hurt, but it didn't bother him like it should, the pain in his heart was far stronger than any his father could hope to inflict.
Jeremy was quiet for a long time, the chirping crickets, buzzing mosquito's, trickling water, rustling leaves and Tyler's somewhat ragged breathing the only sounds in the dark of the woods.
He felt Jeremy leave his place on the log, moving instead to kneel before his quietly sobbing boyfriend. As with much of their relationship the simplest gesture could mean a thousand things, actions truly did speak louder than words for Jeremy and Tyler. Jeremy placed a hand on Tyler's uninjured cheek, the other one on his shoulder rubbing small circles against the fabric of his shirt with his thumb. He could feel the wetness of Tyler's tears as ones of his own sprang forth. He shuffled forward as he leant in to kiss Tyler, a small chaste kiss, their lips just barely touching. "Jeremy" Tyler breathed out, his bottom lip trembling.
"It's not your fault Tyler. I don't blame you for anything…okay the fighting was kind of douche move but I didn't exactly play innocent on that front either". A light chuckle issued from Tyler and Jeremy smiled, his fingers running through the black hair comfortingly, "And far be it from me to say your life was any less of a mess than my own. Yes we've both had our fair share of fuck ups in the past and family life's that aren't exactly picture perfect but all things considered I think we managed to pull through and turned out rather well considering. I mean, you're a little worse for wear now, but I'm going to take care of you until you're better because that's what people in normal relationships do, they take care of each other".
"We're hardly a normal couple" Tyler replied, the barest hint of sarcasm in his words. Jeremy frowned at that remark, "We're no different from anyone else in the world. Sure, were two guys, but that doesn't mean that we're any less than a straight couple or that our relationship is abnormal. Matters of the heart transcend the realms of logic and reason, what we have is our own, different from everyone else but at the same time still the same".
"Nothing you or your dad say will make me leave or love you any less", Jeremy said. Tyler's head shot up, a surprised look across his face, "Lo…love?" he stuttered, the word feeling foreign to his tongue, but in his chest he could feel warmth spreading that was either an internal haemorrhage or a happiness he didn't know he could ever have. He sincerely with all his heart and soul hoped for the latter.
Jeremy smiled, the night doing well to hide his blush, "Yeah, I mean I can't believe I just said it out loud and now you probably think I'm nuts or a girl or…" Tyler cut him off, no caring about the sudden pain flaring in his cheek and lips as he kissed Jeremy with unrestrained passion. He was beyond ecstatic; it was all he'd ever wanted to hear the words that meant that he wasn't totally alone in the world, that someone could love him and who he loved in return.
"I love you too" Tyler replied when he broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against Jeremy's, his fingers running through the slightly shaggy locks that Jeremy favoured.
"Come back to mine?" Jeremy asked softly, his eyes, so big and brown and gleaming in the moonlight staring into Tyler's own.
The walk back through the woods took a while, Tyler understandably not in peak form, but neither of the boys minded. Jeremy was okay with taking some of Tyler's burdens and weight if it meant he could help. It was good to have his boyfriend close, in both the physical and emotional sense of the word.
"Elena and Jenna?" Tyler questioned when the Gilbert house came into view, utterly dark and seemingly devoid of life. "We'll worry about that in the morning" Jeremy replied, fishing for his keys as they reached the back door.
No sooner had the key entered the lock, the door swung open and the kitchen light blazed to life, temporarily blinding both boys as it spilled out, "What the hell is this!"
Even in her dressing gown and bunny slippers the silhouetted figure of Aunt Jenna was imposing. Jeremy heard Tyler audibly gulp. His father had nothing on Jenna.
"It's nearly five in the morning. I wake to find your bed empty, no note and now you come home grubby with Tyler Lockwood looking like he got hit by a truck! I'd very much like to hear how you explain this".
Okay so another story finished. I'm not good with keeping to a schedule, or any discernible plotline really. I more just go with the flow, and sometimes that flow is choppy or random or just plain nuts! I didn't plan on ending with a cliff hanger of sorts, but thems the apples. We'll have to see how it turns out for our young lovers…
Anyway, review if you so please, and again thank you to those people who subscribed to the story and me the author. I doff my cap to you.