Went a Little Like This

Rating: PG-13/T

Genre: Romance/Humor

Summary: For the love_bingo challenge, prompt "First Kiss". Conner's got a new girlfriend. Clark and Lois are suspicious.

Author's Note: … I seriously don't know where this came from. I probably would have never dreamed it up if not deliberately thinking of ideas for these prompts.

Disclaimer: I don't own Smallville. It belongs to Jerry Siegal, Joe Shuster and the CW.

()()

Lois saw Conner arrive in the driveway of the Kent farm from the window.

"Ooh," She noted, eyebrows jumping up. "Someone looks like he got a grope in a dark closet."

Clark proceeded to choke on his coffee. He coughed and grimly examined his white shirt, now covered in small brown speckles. "Wow, Lois. I mean, that's-" At that moment, Conner came bounding into the house, windblown and grinning widely. He dropped his backpack next to the door and looked between Clark and Lois expectantly.

"Ask me what happened today."

Clark and Lois glanced at each other. Then, just to screw with him, "Did you want a refill on that coffee, Clark?"

"No thanks, I'm good."

Conner's shoulders sagged, and he stared at them in disbelief. "Guys!"

"We're just yanking your chain, Mini-Clark-With-Tess-Tendencies." Lois said with a wave, turning back to the sink. "What happened at school today? Pretty girl give you your first kiss?"

"Yes."

Lois and Clark's eyes popped a bit. "Really?" Clark inquired.

"Yeah, really." Conner pulled up a chair across from Clark. "I've never seen her before today, but she just walks right up to me and starts talking! Okay, she was a bit weird; she said she'd been waiting a long time to meet someone like me, and something about destiny and fate- I don't know- She just kind of did it."

"And you just let her kiss you?" Clark asked, eyebrow raised.

"What, you expected him to be a little choirboy like you were in high school?" Lois asked, leaning against the table.

"I expected him to know a girl before he kissed her."

"Hey- She kissed me. I didn't even see it coming." Even with that defense, Conner was still clearly very excited. Dreamy, too. "Kissing is nice. I think I like it. A lot." Lois snickered, but he either was too lost in his memory to hear her, or he just didn't care. "She said she wants to be my girlfriend."

Lois stopped laughing, and she and Clark gave him odd looks. "Seriously?"

"She doesn't even know you." Clark said.

"Yeah," Conner said with a smirk that reminded both of them eerily of Lex, "But she wants to know me. That counts, doesn't it?" He jumped up and went to the refrigerator, pulling out an apple. Meanwhile, Lois and Clark slowly turned to look at one another once more. Wha…? Lois mouthed, to which Clark could only shrug. I have no idea, He mouthed back.

"You said she's new?"

"Yeah." Conner said around a mouthful of apple.

"What does she look like?"

"Really red hair, green eyes-"

"Oedipus complex, anyone?" Lois mumbled beneath her breath. Naturally Clark and Conner could both hear her loud and clear, but only Clark got the reference and rolled his eyes at her.

Neither Clark nor Lois could recall hearing anything about a new family in town, and there was something a bit suspicious about how forward she had been with Conner. "What was she saying about 'destiny' and whatnot?" Lois inquired.

"I dunno. Something about our joining together as equals, being worthy of one another, how she'd waited for this day- I don't know, she was kind of grabbing my-y-y-y…" Conner trailed off quickly and blushed as their eyes widened again. "She… We… She was kind of… She distracted me, all right?"

"Please tell me she distracted you in a room without windows." Clark moaned quietly. "A place where your teachers couldn't walk in, catch you and make us have to deal with it."

"Oh no, Tess gets to deal with the hormone-induced incidents." Lois said, shaking her head and holding her hands up. "Not us, no sir."

Conner suddenly found a splinter sticking out of the table through the table cloth very interesting, and Clark sighed. "All right. So when do we get to meet this mystery woman?"

"Actually," Conner said, rolling his eyes to the ceiling and rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet, "That's kind of why I brought it up. She said she'd be happy to drop by after school and meet the two of you."

Lois nodded slowly. "Did she, now?"

"Yeah. She should be here soon. In fact-" He turned towards the door, then walked over and looked out the window. The grin that crossed his face could have lit up a dark room. "That'd be her!" He pushed open the door and trotted down the steps and across the grass to the road.

"How far away is she?"

"From the sounds of it, still on the road: And she's walking." Lois blinked.

"All the way from school?"

"Apparently." Clark listened on, silent for a moment. "Her name's Maxine." Another pause, and he made a slight face. "And now they're kissing." Lois smiled tightly.

"Awesome. Now we get to teach him the joys of the 'Keep your bedroom door open' rule."

"Great." But something was nagging at the back of his mind. Something about Maxine's voice sounded strangely familiar, but he couldn't quite place where he had heard it before.

"It's just my cousin and his fiancée home right now." He heard Conner say as they grew closer to the house. "I think you'll like them. And they'd better like you, with the way they've been grilling me about you since I got home."

They were almost at the steps now; Lois overheard, and snorted as she walked over to the sink and started to rinse out her own mug. "He asked us to ask."

Maxine laughed. "They're just curious, Conner."

Damn it, he had heard that voice somewhere before!

The screen door opened, and Conner stepped inside first, deliberately making sure they couldn't see the girl behind him. "Clark, Lois," He said, smile wide, "This is Maxine. Maxine, my cousin Clark and his fiancée, Lois."

"Hello, Clark. Hello, Lois."

Clark stiffened. He did know that voice.

And when Conner stepped aside, he recognized her face too.

Lois turned around, saw the girl standing in the doorway, dropped her jaw and froze; her mug fell from her hand and smashed on the ground. No one moved.

Conner's eyes darted back and forth between his new girlfriend and his adopted family. "Is… There a problem?"

"They're surprised, Conner. We have met before."

Maxima gave a wide, devious smile and kissed him on the cheek.

-End