Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or Evil Dead: The Musical.
AN: So, I took a couple of liberties with the original song. Mainly adding the dead girls to the back-ground singers, and Sam apologizing for not bringing this issue up before. Other than that, I tried to keep it close to the song's original format.
Sam: All the gals in my life keep getting killed by various monsters.
Rowena (Spoken): All the gals in your life keep getting killed by various monsters?
Sam (Singing): First there was Jess, a real night girl.
The most precious thing to me in the world.
I was all set to marry her.
But before I could even propose, Jess was killed by
An assassin demon.
Dean, Rowena, and Ghosts of Sam's Dead Gals: An assassin demon, an assassin demon, an assassin demon…
Sam: Then there was mother.
Dean, Rowena, and Ghosts of Sam's Dead Gals: Mother.
Sam: Who we could count on.
Dean, Rowena, and Ghosts of Sam's Dead Gals: Ahh-ooh.
Sam: She kept her secret life from everyone.
Dean, Rowena, and Ghosts of Sam's Dead Gals: Her hunting life.
Sam: I mean, sure
Dean, Rowena, and Ghosts of Sam's Dead Gals: Ahh-ooh.
Sam: She's alive now.
Dean, Rowen, and Ghosts of Sam's Dead Gals: Back from the dead!
Sam: But the point of the matter is she
Was stilled killed by
The Yellow Eyed Demon.
Dean, Rowena, and Ghosts of Sam's Dean Gals: The Yellow Eyes Demon, The Yellow Eyed Demon, The Yellow Eyed Demon…
Sam: They say love is cruel, and I believe them.
My heart's always broken.
Cuz all the gals in my life keeping killed by various
Monsters.
(Spoken) Why?!
Dean (Spoken): I don't know!
Rowena (Spoken): Samuel, darling, I know it seems bad now—It always does.
But I think you're exaggerating just a touch, sugar bee.
I mean, sure, your mother and finance were killed by different
Demons, but that's only two gals, isn't it?
I mean, there's no way all the woman in your life could
Have been killed by various monsters!
Sam (Spoken): Oh no?
(Singing) It was New York.
Dean, Rowena, And Ghosts of Sam's Gals: New York!
Sam: On a case.
Dean, Rowena and Ghosts of Sam's Dead Gals: Oh yeah!
Sam: Where I met the lovely Sarah Blake.
Dean, Rowena, and Ghosts of Sam's Dead Gals: Sarah Blake
Sam: We only kissed.
Dean, Rowena and Ghosts of Sam's Dead Gals: Sarah Blake?!
Sam: Which brought her some time.
Dean, Rowena and Ghosts of Sam's Dead Gals: She had some time.
Sam: But it was eight years later that
Sarah was killed by
Dean, Rowena: Damn!
Sam: The King of Hell
Dean, Rowena, and Ghosts of Sam's Dead Gals: The King of Hell, The King of Hell, The King of Hell…
Sam: All my monster girlfriends and my one-night stands
Female co-workers and platonic gay friends.
Charlie: Hi!
Sam: Every date I go on ends in demon bloodshed!
(To Rowena) And now that we've flirted my dear, I know you'll soon be dead!
Dean and Rowena (Spoken and for very different reasons): What the f—
Sam (Spoken): Ah, sorry, probably should have told you before—(Singing) They say love is cruel
Dean, Rowena, and Ghosts of Sam's Dead Gals: Shoop shoo, wah!
Sam: And I believe them
Dean, Rowena, and Ghosts of Sam's Dead Gals: Shoop shoo, wah!
Sam: My heart's always broken
Dean, Rowena and Ghosts of Sam's Dead Girls: Oh, oh, oh
Sam: Cuz the gals in my life—and I mean all the gals in my life
Every single gal in my life
Keep getting killed
By various Monsters
Dean: Various monsters
Rowena: Oooh, Oooh, Oooh