"Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated."
Disclaimer: I don't own Mai HiME.
Beta: Ivy Rose Thorn
Shut up
Graduation was not something the one-year-older-than-the-rest student Natsuki Kuga was looking forward too. After all she still didn't have an idea what to do with her life since the First District had disappeared along with her powers. The last year she had started attending school more regularly. She even began to hang out with people although she still had a hard time in having chit-chat conversations. But if somebody would know about her dark past where she was a HiME that had to fight her friends and thereby killing their dearest ones, they would probably say she's just a normal high school girl. Of course, she still stood out due to her uncommon hobby of coming to school with her motorcycle but that was something she would never give up. Everyone needs at least one thing that makes them feel special and ever since her best friend had left school after graduation to study on a prestigious University in Kyoto, her bike seemed to be the only thing that made her feel completely free and unrestrained. It was a reminder of her inner freedom, of her past, of better times… This may sound crazy but deep inside Natsuki missed her old life. She missed being special, she missed the fights, she missed having a purpose in life and she even missed being a lone-wolf at times.
There were nights where she couldn't fall asleep because of the painful injuries she had suffered during her countless fights with Orphans. Now, she couldn't afford to sleep because finals were coming up. It was true, now she had nothing to worry about than getting enough points to pass the exams and finding a birthday present for her friend Mai, which seemed much more exciting at the moment than these equations. Sometimes it was not very fortunate for her to live all by herself. Mai and the others were always helping each other with the difficult subjects after school. They all practically lived together in the dormitory and of course the raven-haired girl was much too proud to admit that she could really need some help, especially in math. But there was no use in whining. She would not move into the dorms and give up her apartment only to become even more ordinary than she already was.
Things were a lot easier when you were around, Shizuru…
Emerald eyes were almost coincidently drifting through the dimly lit bedroom of her apartment in a clandestine search for her cellphone. Spotting the noisy companion on her nightstand in its usual place, the lazy girl eventually turned back to her schoolbooks on the desk after deliberating for a while. But no matter how much she tried to concentrate it was no use. She didn't get math at all. In fact, she had always sucked at this subject but it never had been a problem before. Even during her time as a HiME, she did quite well in school, all thanks to her patient, private tutor Shizuru.
Natsuki always thought it was amazing that next to her work as student-council president and family obligations, she still found the time to help her out with homework.
Heck! She even was a HiME, too… This person is just unbelievable. In every possible way… I shouldn't have let her go…
A beeping sound from the cell, signaling her that she got a text, interrupted her drifting of thoughts.
It can't be… Shizuru? No, she wouldn't… She never contacted me after I told her that I might not be able to trust her again. She moved away without even saying goodbye and I didn't do anything to hold her back… Just because I was such a coward. At least I found out that I might as well be capable of having such feelings. But it's too late now. I guess it's always about the things you can't have... I always took her for granted and now I have to deal with the consequences of my stubbornness.
Natsuki slowly rose up from her sitting position, a bit amazed that her butt and the chair hadn't started to grow together by now. When she grabbed the mobile, she silently cursed herself for still believing in the possibility of a strange kind of telepathy that would make her thoughts reach Shizuru down in Kyoto for coming to aid her in the current situation. With a heavy pounding heart, she opened the text. As soon as her eyes read the sender, she let out a disappointed sigh. She knew that it would probably be Mai but somehow she couldn't completely abandon her hopes.
'Hey Natsuki, I figured you might have a hard time… with math ;-) So, I thought I might as well help you out a bit. Mai'
What's wrong with you, Miss Cryptic?
Natsuki started to type a witty reply when suddenly the doorbell rang. Her ears twitched under the rare sound and her head shot up in suspicion. She approached the door carefully, very well aware of the fact that she still didn't have a spyhole, although she had promised herself to get this thing ever since Nao had found out that it was much easier to sleep over at Natsuki's than to sneak back into the dormitory at night. Usually, Natsuki didn't mind the company of the younger girl since they are somewhat similar. At least Nao knew when to shut up, a quality that she missed in most of her other friends. But on days like this, the biker-girl would love to have this little peephole because once the door is open it's hard to drive people away. And so, after seconds of weighting out her options she opened the border between sweet privacy and social solitude with a heavy heart.
With no intention of hiding her emotions, Natsuki didn't bother to put on a smile. When she lifted her head to greet the intruder of her beloved loneliness her distressed gaze was caught by a pair of deep crimson eyes. Time stood still for a short infinity and only the sound of her own voice let her drift back into reality or what she believed to be reality before she had opened this door.
"Shi…zu…ru!" Natsuki muttered in disbelief. "What the…"
"It's nice to see you too, Natsuki." Shizuru said with her distinctively accent that seemed to had deepened during her time in Kyoto.
The raven-haired girl, however, was standing there like an idiot. Not speaking, not moving, not even breathing. Her pounding heart consumed all of her power, so that nothing was left for any other required bodily function.
"Umm… I…" She deeply inhaled some much needed air. "Come in."
Shizuru tore her eyes away from the startled girl and made her way inside the apartment.
Not only was Natsuki swept off her feet by the sudden ghostlike appearance of her long missing friend but also because of the odd quietness. Usually, Shizuru was the one who initiated the talk, but this time it felt utterly different. When she turned around to look once more at the unbelievable, she suddenly realized what was wrong. They Kyoto-born woman's wasn't smiling. In fact, she hadn't even smiled when saying 'hello'. The raven-haired girl wasn't an idiot. She knew that they hadn't seen each other for almost a year and she also knew that her former best friend might still be hurt about her selfish ways but she was here. That must at least mean something. But her hopes were shattered within the next words.
"Mai told me it's an emergency. Well, a number-emergency and since it's not about a random test but the finals I said I might help out for once." Shizuru's words were cold and precise and Natsuki's face frowned.
"I see… So it's a bother to you." Natsuki whispered the last syllable to herself. "You shouldn't have come then."
"Guilt tripping won't work this time. I've grown…" to let you go.
"So have I…" to love you.
"Good. So let's just get through this. I'll make you pass this exam no matter what. Nobody can effort wasting lifetime on school any longer than needed. Life starts after school and that's why I am here." Shizuru's tone became a bit softer, but she was still not smiling. Not even one of her fake smiles.
"To get me out of school?" Natsuki couldn't help it but she tended to adopt the habits of her collocutors. If somebody talked to her unfriendly, that's what they would get back.
"To get you into real life."
Silence. Nothing more than simply that was left after their icy first conversation for almost a year.
The younger girl knew that this might be her last chance to make things right and she hated herself for being so unfriendly when she finally could make things up. But she wasn't prepared. Of course, she had thought about making it up to Shizuru one day. But one day was always far away and now she was thrown into a situation like this without preparation and to make it even more complicated Shizuru acted like a complete stranger.
The atmosphere got heavier with every lingering minute of not-talking and so Natsuki decided to give it a go. After all, she didn't have anything to lose. Her purpose and powers might have long been gone but in the very minute they had died away something completely new and different was born inside her. It took her a long time to get used to the deceiving thing that people called feeling but finally she felt strong enough to stand her ground. She took a step forward and searched for the alluring deep red eyes of her most precious person.
"Shizuru, I am sorry." She got closer and took her best friend's hand. "I never meant to hurt you, but…"
Shizuru cut her off and pulled her hand free.
"I won't Natsuki." She couldn't bear looking into these bewitching green eyes any longer and turned away. "I won't let myself go down this destructive road again. I've been there before and I lost everything. I'm done with making a fool of myself and I won't let you get so close to me again."
"Speaking of which…" Natsuki whispered while silently approaching the pained girl from behind to encircle her waist. She pressed her body against the older girl's back and whispered: "You don't have to. I will. This time, I'll take it all."
"Natsuki…" Shizuru stuttered, unable to hold her tears back any longer.
"Hush. It's alright now." She said and made the older girl turn back to her.
"Kannin na, Natsuki…I still have these inappropriate feelings for you and you have to believe me, I only came here to help you out because Mai said you could really need some tutoring. I didn't mean to throw my heartache out on you… again."
"And I love you all the more for that…" Natsuki said barely auditable. Shizuru looked at the emerald-eyed girl with startled eyes.
"You're really kind to say something like this. But still your love and my love are differ…"
"Was…" Natsuki cut Shizuru off while bringing her face closer.
"I really do…"
"Just shut up and let me kiss you." Natsuki breathed before closing the last distance between their longing lips.
At first, Shizuru wanted to break the kiss, still not believing that this was real, but the younger girl wouldn't let that happen. She let her slip away once and she made sure not to make this mistake twice. As soon as the chestnut-haired woman struggled against the kiss, Natsuki tightened her grip to erase every last doubt. Shizuru gave up any resistance and moaned into the fiery kiss.
Both of them were afraid to break the magic of this moment but the passion was absorbing every last bit of oxygen in their lungs and so they eventually needed to part their lips.
"Sorry, it took me so long to realize." A slight blush rose to the raven-haired girl's face.
"This is all I've ever dreamt of. So don't apologize." Shizuru locked her crimson eyes once more with the emerald and cupped Natsuki's face before initiating the next kiss.
They eventually made their way into the bedroom, leaving a trail of her clothes behind on the way.
When Natsuki stumbled against the bed, Shizuru suddenly stopped. She again looked with serious eyes at the startled girl.
"So, on with math." She suddenly said to the raven-haired goddess.
"What? Never!"
"Ara, but that's what I came here for. Mai told me to tutor you."
"Mou, I thought you came here for me. I really don't see why we have to talk about something like math right now. Life only has a few precious moments and I consider this as one of them. So, please don't ruin the mood by…"
"Shut up…" Shizuru said before pinning the younger girl down to the bed, silencing her with another passionate kiss. "Alright, this might not be a very popular method of teaching but I consider it as an exception for once." She led her hand wander down Natsuki's spine. "I'll show you the results for the first equations."
"Show?" Natsuki said, slightly panting under the older girl's touch.
"Yeah… you just have to count your moans…" Shizuru voice was so alluring that Natsuki already had lost track of the space-time continuum.
"Sounds good but I also need to understand the solution process."
"Don't worry, that is step two. I'll show you how to get there step by step…"
A/N:I just felt like doing something light. The drama in my other fics is consuming me and I felt the need to write ShizNat centered little piece. So here it is. Hope you like it. Now I shall go back into my drama-hell to visit the ShizNatNao-monster.