Before I even start I would like to express the want for a beta reader or helpful criticism to make this story better and go over my mistakes and the reason for a

TRIGGER WARNING: from what I saw in the film Newt is nervous, self-conscious and apart from people in general. He only had the picture of his best friend, and they hadn't talked for many years. This led onto my brain scrambling it up and deciding that Newt was abused as a child. Another part of the movie (when they were told to pay more than the few gold coins Newt put out) made me think about why Newt seemed so scared about having to pay more. In this fanfiction there will be a point where Newt has to pay for something with his body and it could end up like sexual assault so I just want to be careful.

I'll try to out trigger warnings out at the beginning of each chapter where they're needed.

I've tried to piece together bits of Newt's past to create this fiction and if I've got anything wrong please tell me. If I've done it purposefully I'll try to tell you but this will hopefully be mainly about Newt's time at school and lead onto his character in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (the film). Unfortunately I haven't read the book.

So here's my summary, some of which I've made up and some of which I've gained from websites:

Newton Artemis Fido Scamander was born in 1897 and attended Hogwarts from 1908. He met Leta Lestrange therin, possibly in his House of Hufflepuff although history- or future- would determine that she was a Slytherin. She is interested in magical beasts as well and it's her fault that Newt was expelled.

Newt's brother is a widely known Auror named Theseus. His nickname is Theo and he excells at everything. He is three years ahead of Newt and was put in Gryffindor.

His mother is a Hippogriff breeder who inspired Newt to become a magizoologist after her love of magical beasts passed onto him.

His favourite magical creature is Pickett, the clingy Bowtruckle who, is this, he met alongside the others in his time at school and they formed a relationship that has lasted for years. This relationship was helped along by Newt's awkwardness around humans and needing for companionship.

TRIGGER WARNING

Newton Artemis Fido Scamander was the younger brother to Theseus Scamander. That's what everyone called him; "Theseus's younger brother", "Theseus's sibling." "Theo's broken brother." It hurt. It hurt more than anyone realised, especially his mother and brother. That was the worst part about it if he were being honest, the fact that he couldn't hate Theo because Theo was a kind, loyal, gentle person. From the very beginning you could see he was destined for great things and no one wasted an instant in telling him that. Newt was just his odd brother, the failure to Theo's successes, the rain to his sunshine.

Newt hated it.

He hated each part of his childhood with differing amounts of passion. He'd hated his father because the man had hated him and had taken out all of his anger on Newt. Numerous scars on mind and body could prove that. He hated his father's death because that made him even more distant and shy because now he wasn't even forced to attend gatherings. He hated being introduced to the Hippogriffs because that made him even more unusual but he couldn't tear himself away. He hated his mother for not raising him into what Theo is. He hated himself for… everything.

What wasn't there to hate?

He was Theo's new model but broken beyond repair and tarnished without a hope of being polished. He was a socially anxious guy who hid behind his love for the beasts that everyone else hated. And he did nothing to protect himself. Theo's younger rages had seen to it that Newt wouldn't back down easily but at the same time wouldn't defend himself. He wasn't the type of material that anyone would consider for anything.

When Theo was chosen for Hogwarts Newt was jealous. His eight-year old mind was still susceptible to the grandeur that others wove with their words and all Mother's friends and Father's old ones and the polite society were coming in and telling Theo how amazing he was for getting in. Theo, at eleven, had finished his childhood tantrums three years ago and was quite grown up now. He took all of the compliments in good grace and humour and the fan club left being even more in love with him than before. Yet they only left after letting Newt hear the barbed words they said about him.

The ball thrown for Theo's success lasted an entire night after starting at seven P.M. Newt could only endure three hours of it. Three hours of belittling comments and glares and refused proposals to dance that his Mother paid no attention to for fear of tarnishing her own reputation. Theo had been told to do so as well.

When they had been very young Theo had seen Father beating Newt multiple times. Eventually the courage and kindness that built up to land him in Gryffindor made Theo try to step in and save Newt. Father had grown enraged that his favourite son would actually protect the other and, after taking Theo to another room and locking him in whilst giving Newt the idea of the ordeal being over, he returned and gave the youngster the first beating where he was barely conscious afterwards. That day was firmly stuck in Newt's mind as it had been the catalyst for his father realising that he could beat Newt within an inch of his life and it would be okay.

When Father died a year after that Newt didn't know what to do. His mind was already trained to think that he deserved pain, and the discomfort in his mother and brother's eyes from being around him too long added to that. He could only find solace in the Hippogriff's his mother bred. Starling was his favourite. Newt had helped care for the Hippogriff's for three months before his best friend was born. The orphaned grey-speckled beast had hatched in Newt's company and the two bonded in a short space of time. Newt oversaw the Hippogriff's growth and raising and the youngster became one of the largest Hippogriff's that his mother had ever seen because of all the extra care. They went out on midnight flights and Newt started spending his days with Starling. His love for the beasts grew and he might have even followed in his mother's breeder footsteps if she hadn't sold him.

Newt had been sick that particular weekend. His mother had thought it to be the perfect time to sell the most spectacular beast she had bred for decades. Her buyer, a handsome, wealthy man, was interested in them and looked forwards to being able to study and maybe even ride a prime specimen. Neither of them had accounted for Newt sleeping in the curve of its body.

When they got down to its pen she saw that it was asleep and whistled. The Hippogriff's opened its eyes and raised its head warningly but didn't rise. No matter what sound she made it didn't get up of calm down, it only showed them threatening signals. Mrs Scamander had no idea what was going on until the prospective buyer revealed the slightly unnatural curve of its wing. The curve that was now moving. Tousled fair hair and hazel-ish eyes set in a wan face appeared from behind the curve of the Hippogriff's wing and Mrs Scamander realised that it had been an even bigger mistake to try and remove the Hippogriff when he was sick for the pure reason that he had come to find it whenever he was feeling upset and that if he was sick he would try to not leave its side.

Mrs Scamander was not the kind of woman to hit someone but she was the kind to berate them with a barrage of words and she did. She wasn't cruel to her son, not yet, but her unkindness was enough to set the sickly seven-year old onto Starling's back and away. It was the first time anyone had ever seen Newt fly the beast and it would also be the last. When the two finally returned home the buyer had already expressed his disbelief at how tame the Hippogriff was and how much he'd pay for it. Newt went to sleep beside the beast again that night but never finished. In the middle of the night Mrs Scamander came down with helpers and catching equipment and bridled Starling before loading him up in a trailer. Both the beast and the boy were crying, and each for the other. Newt only stopped fighting for his friend when Theo decided to knock him out and that enraged Starling only more but also distracted him, letting the team shove him into the trailer and away to his new home. He'd never be able to find his way back because he was hooked so couldn't see and Hippogriff's had never had the knack of navigating on the earth.

The separation had proved fatal to Newt. Fifteen months since he had been badly injured, his best friend taken and the betrayal of his mother led him to seek what he'd been trying to prevent for over a year. Pain. Everyone at that time had table-daggers to use for cutting meat. Newt used it for that too, only his way was slightly different. Most people wouldn't eat the sort of meat he was cutting of course, that would be cannibalism. Yet Newt derived a sick sort of pleasure from the pain. As he watched the blood arch up through his skin to well at the surface as he carved in again and again the numbness he felt intensified until he couldn't feel anything at all. Nothing. Not even guilt and anger, the two main emotions in his life since that first beating.

It became addictive. The scars that covered his arms soon led to his hips as well. When he was particularly broken he used the blade to create animal-like wounds on himself that, if seen, could be easily explained, yet they hurt more and he was so glad about that. By the time he was eleven he was covered in scars that no one had ever seen and had no chance of catching up with the brother that was three years, hundreds of housepoints, many letters of commendations and a quidditch team ahead of him.

Newt hadn't even expected to get into Hogwarts. His mother hadn't bothered to buy him a wand and his brother had taken to sending back sweets and photos of everything because he never expected Newt to come and experience them for himself. When the letter finally came Mrs Scamander even wrote to make sure that it wasn't a mistake.

It wasn't.

For the first time in his life Newt was wanted by something, not only something but the most prestigious school in the world!

He put the blade away, let his mother buy him new books and an excellent broomstick (because your brother's old books are completely horrendous and no one will say the Scamander house is shabby! And who knows, maybe you'll be good at flying. You certainly used to be.) She also bought him an owl (her name's Saul, young master, and she will be your companion for many years if you're kind to her.) At the end of the trip, when all his robes and equipment were bought and his term-to-term allowance set out, his mother finally took him to the wandshop.

Newt had read about Ollivander's. It was supposedly the best shop to buy wands from in existence- at the moment at least- and ever since Theo had gotten his wand but refused to tell Newt was it was made from he'd been trying to guess what his brother had got.

Now he was trying to guess what he'd get.

He'd never have expected his mother to already have set one aside for him.

"It's specially commissioned just for you!" She told him just before she left to find him a case in which he'd need to pack all of his clothes and equipment. "One of your father's inventions."

Then she was gone and Newt was alone in a shop with a crude bone wand in front of him. It wasn't right. This couldn't be his. Even standing near it felt wrong, felt like the screams of multiple beasts dying was ringing in his ears.

He wouldn't be able to cast a simple charm with this, nevermind get through Hogwarts! Yet he had no choice it seemed.

Taking a deep breath, Newt picked up the wand. And screamed. It felt like his nerves were being ripped from his skin, like his hair was being torn from his skull and skin. Like he was suffering the same death as the beasts.

"Stop!" The sharp voice barely pierced the cacophony of roars and shrieks and dying screams. "Stop!" It was only once the wand was wrestled out of his hand and thrown into its case that Newt could see again. A wizened old man with greying hair stood in front him him angrily, spectacled eyes peering curiously at him.

"What on earth were you doing?!"

Newt started crying.

After seeing the small eleven-year old's face crumple the man's first order of business was to shoo all of the curious passers-by out of the shop and to fetch Newt a blanket and a hot drink. It was only after doing so that he finally agreed to stop and listen to Newt's explanation, and by that time the boy's throat was hoarse and his eyes itchy with dried tears. He was on the verge of a migraine and his ears were still ringing, his skin still stinging. He didn't particularly want to talk abiut it either. The knowledge that it was his mother, the person he should love and trust most in the world, that had made a wand that would plunge him into that helholr wherein he would have gone mad destroyed him. Luckily the man seemed to realise that and started talking himself.

"First of all, never, ever pick up a wand that has not got an owner unless a wand master has said so, and even then you should only do so if the owner says to freely or the master holds it first." The old man lectured.

"Secondly, what were you doing with that? Did you not see the sign?" Newt had seen the sign. It had labelled the wand as his.

"It's for me sir," he swallowed.

"The wand was made for me." Newt had no idea why, or even how his father had made such an awful thing but he'd not handle it. Even if it meant not going to Hogwarts he'd never pick it up again. And so he told the man- Ollivander he presumed, that. Wirey grey hair flounced as the man nodded in agreement.

"If you ever pick up such a thing again I'll break it, then you, myself." He promised.

"Such a thing is not suited to sensitive souls, especially not youngsters and even less so ones that enjoy beasts. Only a rare, cruel person would want such a thing. I though you may take after your father, that terrible man. Only through that sort of thinking could I imagine you wanting it." He stopped for a moment before starting again.

"But your father's dead, excuse my callous words, so whoever sent that wand to me with instructions to keep safe for you, and who brought you here before running off so they didn't have to endure your screaming it is the one. Who are they, Newt? Who did this to you?" Newt glanced down. Who indeed. Who indeed apart from the mother that despised him for not being a perfect second son and protégée yet couldn't admit so.

"No one." He whispered. "It was my own fault. I see that now." The man didn't look as if he believed him, who would? He still accepted the lie though, and he still got up and found a piece of paper before starting to write a letter.

"Well then, I'll just write a note about how your wand isn't to be opened before Hogwarts starts. You do have to obey that though." Newt looked up to find the man smiling at him.

"Can't have anyone finding out that the wand you were supposed to have isn't the one in the box can we?"

The old man at Ollivander's was the first person Newt learnt to genuinely like. He was also the first person who showed the boy kindness.

"Now, boy, what do you like, hmm?" He said as he started hustling about.

"Maybe… a unicorn core and elm?" He handed Newt a long wand of medium coloured wood but with a subtle sheen. It felt comfortable but… Newt gave it a shake and a glowing light shot out before turning into a shrill whistle climbing higher and higher until it shattered the lamp bulbs. Not for him then.

"Not for you then." The man said as he took the wand away.

"But closer. Much closer than the atrocity you first tried. Maybe the same type of thing but kinder. Bones animals have willingly given and- hmm." He quickly set out a row of wands in front of Newt.

"Tell me what feels good about each of these wands. Quick now, before your mother comes back."

Newt startled at sudden knowledge the old man possessed about his wand situation but did what he'd asked, because it was asking not commanding. It wasn't as if he couldn't say no. That made him more willing to do it.

"Um, it feels warm and good? The inside of it seems to… want to help?" He said about the first one.

"It's helpful but will do no wrong. It wants to help me." He said about the second.

"It's ready to do whatever it needs to as long as it protects me," he discovered about the third.

The list went on and on until he reached the last wand. You going that one gave him a peculiar sense of otherness.

"I…" Newt shut his eyes so he could think. "It's- it's different to all the others. Not just because they're all different but because this one is not of this place. I don't know where it's from but… not here. It's comfortable but not right." He tried to explain.

Ollivander gathered up all of his wands and put them to the side of the desk just before Mrs Scamander walked in.

"Newt dear, has your wand testing already finished?" She asked. Both boy and man could see that she wasn't even trying to control her face, the bored, almost petulant look on her face made Newt want to just take the bone wand and go.

"It is," Ollivander butted in, "but he won't be taking the wand with him. I'll send it to Hogwarts as soon as I've finished modifying it and the boy will have it quickly after he starts.

Newt's mother snapped her head round to look at him.

"Modifying? Adjustment? Newt did you ask for this to happen? You know your father made that wand just for you, he spent a lot of time and care on that and you've asked for it to be modified?" Newt scampered back as he saw her hand twitch, numerous amounts of blows had taught him to get out of range as soon as danger was a possibility.

The old man, thankfully, quickly intervened.

"Ah, no, Mrs Scamander." He smiled at her.

"It's through no fault of your son's that I'm changing it a little, it's through the way that it needs a bit less elm so the power can flow free more easily." He winked after glancing slyly at Newt but, as the two fair-haired Scamanders tunprned out of the shop, he threw Newt another, more easy wink full of companionship.

Newt knew then that he would be alright, that his wand wouldn't be was it was supposed to be but something to do with the many he had held.

So… the first chapter is finished. What do you guys think?

(I will make the chapters longer I promise)