Random talking: Yeah disclaimer and what not. Fuzzy things, in my head, my head hurts oh so fuzzy. Anyway, this was part of a series that went along with some pictures I drew for an Anime Club in order to raise money because we needed the pot…er, anime. Yes. Anime. And not pot. Because you need to be high in order to understand FLCL's ending. No, I'm not soliciting pot use or anything but gods-damnit any Gainax ending you need to be on something, you know what I'm saying? Except me because I'm naturally insane like the people who write those crazy Gainax stories that make me go "Whee" and them my brain implodes from witnessing random things, like this paragraph that was supposed to be FREAKING SENTENCE that turned into a long discussion about fish. No…wait…anyway, I don't own any of these anime. And gods-damnit this isn't supposed to be taken seriously. I don't want a thousand emails or flames about how it doesn't make any sense to put certain characters in certain classes cuz of their age and character history because I have a life (somewhat) and I don't have time to remember all of the details of Naruto's personality I really just don't care that much. So if my characters act OC, deal with it because I'm not Japanese and what if this fanfic makes a lot references to American things when they're Japanese. Whatevah. I do what I want. So kick back, relax, and read the insanity that is follow and I don't own any of these anime or anything here really except the insanity that takes place but I like stale white bread anyway because it goes crunchy-crunchy.
Fun Times at Atom High
(Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Writing Stupid and/or Funny Things)
(Or "The Anime Club Project")
story, insanity, random plotting by Zero
episode one: "Atom Academy"
Somewhere in a galaxy far far away that is filled with random anime characters and non-canon things…
Living at a palace has many upsides – plenty of space, being able to hide an army, having cosplay conventions in your own living room – but there is also a downside and that is the fact that there is always a lot mail to be delivered. When your mother is Queen and your father is King (but no one really cares about him because it's all "God save the Queen" and whatnot) a lot of people complain and that means day in day out of pounds of letters.
So as the servants were shoveling pound after pound of spam mail, junk mail, free credit cards, free banknotes, complaints, rants, threatening letters from the mentally deficient, the Princess stumbled onto a very curious thing. This very curious thing happening to be a square little envelope with some letters printed in very nice golden ink which read: ATOM ACADEMY.
Now she was just so impressed with this lettering (the Princess was a little dim sometimes) that she went back inside the palace, phoned her best friend, and sat inside her luxurious living room waiting for that very friend to arrive and when she eventually did they opened the mysterious envelope together.
"There's a little card inside." said her friend. She read off the card, "'Dear Sir or Madam, you have selected to attend the Atom Academy. Please watch the DVD to see if your interest will be sparked."
"…Hotaru, I can read." replied the Princess.
"Can I read it again?" asked her friend.
"No." decided the Princess, "let's watch the DVD. I'm tied of having tutors come here." She sighed, "I want to experience the real world out there, like Mama and Papa do. To go to high school and have crushes and hate teachers and cheat on pop quizzes and homework but still study so I won't get caught."
(Unknown to the Princess, her parents experienced the real world through a series of boring meetings, charities, meetings, complaints, rallies, and assassination attempts which is why they have to travel in a giant box attached to a truck.)
"I just hope it's not one of those cursed videos that are all the rage these days." said her friend.
"Hotaru, did you take your meds?" said the Princess.
Hotaru had not but decided not to say anything.
The image on the flats screen plasma television was fuzzy at first and then there were several flashing images that neither girls could make out. Then, in the darkness of a screen, came voice.
Seven days…
"I knew it!" Hotaru proclaimed.
There was the image of a large brick building. The sun was shining. The birds were singing. And the narrator was very excited which made the girls excited as well:
Yes, it took us just seven days to decide whether or not you would be eligible for the Atom Academy, YOUR NAME and we think it would be a wonderful experience for you! Absolutely wonderful! Let's take a look inside shall we, YOUR NAME?
The video showed the elegant dining halls, spacious classrooms, fresh facilities.
'Our classrooms are cleaned twice a daily. We don't want any bacteria in there at all! Even our students are happy.'
The video showed a student, a girl with red hair playing with her cellphone.
What do you think of Atom Academy, Mamimi?
The girl didn't even look up from her cellphone, "I love it here. I wish I could live here. Can I have my five bucks now?"
The video then showed a young man bent over what appeared to be a black notebook, frantically writing something.
What do you think of Atom Academy, Light?
The young man immediately closed the notebook and looked at the cameraman, "I don't have a Death Note! I don't know what you're talking about! There's no such thing as Shinigami!"
Then the young man ran away. Five seconds later, a young man who looked similar to a raccoon in that he had head eye linear on (or was hung over) chased him.
The video then showed the front of the school again.
And those are just some of the diverse sort of people you can meet at Atom Academy, YOUR NAME. Atom Academy – The Future is Now!
The video ended and the two girls were left stunned. Absolutely stunned. The shining classrooms. The organized students. The many classes offered.
The cute guys.
"I swear, by all that is pink, fuzzy, and good that I, Usagi Small Lady Serenity, shall attend that school and become the best student there is!" declared the Princess, standing up proudly.
"You just think that guy is cute." her friend, Hotaru, replied which was true.
"Oh, go take your medicine before your alter ego blows up Tokyo again!" huffed the Princess.
After meds…
When the Queen first arrived home she had but one question to ask:
"Why is Hotaru drooling on our couch?"
"Mama, Papa, I really want to go to the Atom Academy they sent me this video and it looked all awesome and I really really really wanna go because it looks so cool and I'm tired of staying home all the time and listening to tutors and I wanna be with other teens like me and stuff so can I go if you say yes I'll love you forever and ever and ever if you say no I'm just going to keep on talking even when you're trying to sleep!" the Princess Chibi-Usa managed to say in one breath and then passed out due to her brain needing oxygen.
The King and Queen look at each other.
"I suppose it would be right and just of us to let our daughter experience the world." sighed the Queen, "She will be queen one day."
"And if we don't we'll have to take her to the doctor again and people already think we did something to her because of bright pink hair." said the King.
(This was very true because your mother is blonde and your father has black hair, it comes into question how you in fact achieved not only pink hair but red eyes as well.)
So that day the Queen and King signed the papers that would send their daughter off to the Atom Academy, located deep in the suburbs of Tokyo-4.
Some days later on a train:
"Oh, Hotaru, aren't you excited about our first day of classes?" asked Chibi-Usa as she sat next to her friend on the train. She was bouncing up and down and looking out the window. Hotaru and her had just gotten their new green and white uniforms.
Tokyo-4 was still under construction due to being destroyed four times so far. She had lived in the palace all her life, in the very center of Tokyo-4, and was thrilled to get away from it all.
Hotaru was busy taking pills out of her various medicine bottles. "I thought I had more pills…" said Hotaru, "Green, red, blue…"
"Hotaru, stop taking your pills out, you always lose them and then I have to help you find them and then there's pills everywhere!" Chibi-Usa said.
"But I thought I had more pills…" Hotaru said.
"Excuse me." said a voice, entering into the car, "Do you mind if I sit in here?"
"No, you can sit here." said Chibi-Usa.
A girl was standing in the doorway, long black hair, wearing the same uniform but with a long dress. She walked holding her head down, staring at the floor, and sat across from Hotaru and Chibi-Usa.
"You've got the same uniform as us." Hotaru said.
The girl looks up from the ground, "Oh…yes…I see…yes we do…" She then returned to looking at the ground.
"What school do you go to? We're heading to the Atom Academy." said Chibi-Usa.
"As you said. I'm going there. Atom Academy." said the girl.
"We're Freshmen." said Chibi-Usa.
There was silence from the girl.
"Are you…freshmen?" said Hotaru.
"Junior." said the girl.
Talking to this girl was like pulling teeth from a rabid beaver but Chibi-Usa was determined to have some sort of conversation with her. "What's your name! My name is Usagi Tsukino, it means 'moon bunny' in Japanese!"
"Tsukiko Sagi. I've been told it means 'moon child'."
And yet again silence. Hotaru, who had grown bored out of her mind with the girl, decided to finally cut to the chase.
"Are you antisocial or just depressed?" asked Hotaru.
"Oh, I guess I'm just a little…scared. I get so scared of things. People. Tests. School. The bunnies that keep trying to tell me to burn things. And now that I'm a Junior people expect even more of me, especially my father. I can never disappoint my father…" sighed Tsukiko. She pulled out a tiny magenta plush animal and hug, "Maromi is my only friend. She makes me happy. Maromi is very good to me. I love you, Maromi."
Awkward silence, but this time it came from Chibi-Usa and Hotaru.
"Sailor Saturn and I think she's crazy." whispered Hotaru.
The train screeched to a halt and the conductor rang the bell.
"Ames Hill. Togenkyo Avenue. Atom Academy." said the intercom.
"That's our stop!" said Chibi-Usa, jumping off the seat.
Tsukiko left the booth just as spacey as she had entered. Chibi-Usa and Hotaru grabbed their bags and left the booth.
The train had stopped in front of an iron gate. Boys and girls their age or older in green and white uniforms walked inside of the gates and into the courtyard in front of a red brick building. People stood and talked, some sat on the benches and read, and some flew through the air on broomsticks (or not) or ran to class (probably late).
"Amazing!" Chibi-Usa exclaimed, "There are so many different types of people here, Hotaru! Do you think they're all Japanese?"
"Is it me, or did I just see a dragon?" murmured Hotaru.
"It's you." sighed Chibi-Usa.
"Hello!" said a voice.
The two girls stopped talking and looking around in a panic. There was no one around who was approaching or addressing them.
"Did you hear that?" asked Hotaru.
"Oh no! You're craziness is starting to spread! Get away from me!"
Hotaru wanted to cry, "How can you be so cruel, Chibi-Usa? I thought we were friends..."
"Excuse me! Down here!" said the voice.
"There it goes again…" Chib-Usa murmured. She shivered, "It must be a ghost!"
It wasn't until someone tugged on her skirt that the girls looked down to see a girl with pigtails looking up at hem with a smile on her face.
"Hi!" she said, "My name is Chiyo Mihama but you can call me Chiyo-chan."
Hotaru and Chibi-Usa looked at each other.
"Aren't you a little young to be in high school?" chuckled Hotaru.
"Yes," admitted Chiyo-chan, "but I'm what Heero-sensei calls a 'child prodigy' and I was allowed to come here."
"A child prodigy? You mean you're a genius?" asked Chibi-Usa.
Chiyo-chan shrugged. She then smiled, "I've been sent here by the dean to show some of the freshmen around the campus since there's a lot more freshmen than expected this year! I've been here for a while so I know my way around." She started to walk away. "Follow me, please."
"I guess we don't have a choice." said Chibi-Usa.
"This is where we depart." said Hotaru.
"What are you talking about?" said Chibi-Usa.
"I transferred into the sophomore class since my scores on the placement test was so high. They sent me a letter saying that taking freshmen classes would be waste of time." Hotaru said.
"You mean…we're going to separate classes?" gasped Chibi-Usa.
"Oh, don't cry, Chibi-Usa! We'll always see each other at the dorms, won't we?" said Hotaru with a tiny smile.
This, however, did not dissuade Chibi-Usa from wailing in a fashion that would put a Greek tragedy protagonist to shame.
After 15 minutes of crying…
The athletic field was to the right of the courtyard and stretched out far and into some woods. In the middle of the woods was a tall tower with a large clock at its summit. Down in the far corner of the field, a large, round, grey and white, rodent-thing was rolling out a chalk pathway along the dirt baseball area with a canister.
"What's that? A demon?" said Chibi-Usa to Chiyo-chan, who were standing at the very end of the field.
"That's Miminzuku. He's a Totoro." explained Chiyo-chan.
"What's a Totoro?" asked Chibi-Usa.
"I'm not really sure but the teachers say it's some sort of earth spirit. They say Totoro does the best gardening so they hired him." said Chiyo-chan, "Miminzuku is the groundskeeper of the entire academy."
The Totoro happily moved from one task to another. Suddenly, one of the canisters of chalk dust tipped over. And then another and another. Miminzuku turned around in disbelief and then chalk appeared and scatterd all over the field. He made a face and then silently reached over and grabbed something that neither Chibi-Usa nor Chiyo-chan could see.
Then Miminzuku booted the invisible troublemaker off the field with one swift kick. The troublemaker landed a few feet from the girls. They curiously moved towards them. It was a blonde boy with a chalk-covered uniform. He sat up and dusted chalk off of him.
"Stupid rat…" he grumbled. He looked at Chibi-Usa, "What are you looking at, pinky?"
"My hair is a natural and beautiful color!" fussed Chibi-Usa, who had grown tired of people mocking her pink hair over the years.
"Naruto-chan, there you are!" said Chiyo-chan, "I was talking and then I turned around and you were gone."
"You were boring." replied Naruto.
"You shouldn't tease Miminzuku. I heard he has a really bad temper." said Chiyo-chan.
"Yeah, yeah…" muttered Naruto.
Chiyo-chan looked at Chibi-Usa, "Chibi-Usa, this is Naruto. He's a freshmen too!"
Naruto looked at Chibi-Usa, "You're a freshmen, pinky? You look too dumb to get into this place."
"My name isn't pinky!" yelled Chibi-Usa, "And for your information my name is Usagi Tsukino and I'm a princess!"
Naruto blinked.
"Does that mean your parents are cousins and you're an inbred moron?" said Naruto.
This resulted in a pummeling from Chibi-Usa.
"Chibi-Usa, stop! This is not a positive way to start off the year!" said Chiyo-Chan as she attempted to pull the girl off of Naruto.
And so began the saga of Chibi-Usa's days at Atom Academy.