My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
Reharmonization Pony POV Side-Story Fan-Fic
Episode Title: "Neo Stream - Bad End"
Written by Jordan Dean "Mystery" Ezekude
Inspired and Co-Written by Alex Warlorn
I couldn't believe it. I couldn't bare it. Seeing my own friends and family succumbing to the illusion the fog outside was creating. Just the sight of it was enough to drive me insane. Even more insane than Discord's personalised realm of chaos. But what really freaked me out the most was the looks of their faces. They all looked so happy. So euphoric. But I hated how they looked.
"...W-what's going on! What is this!"
Without hesitation, I drew the curtains shut and cowered underneath my bed just like I used to when I was a foal. Back then, I was always frightened of monsters. Of the unknown. Then again, who wouldn't be? But those were just childish dreams I had back then.
This wasn't a dream however. This was a living nightmare.
"Hush now, quiet now
It's time to lay your sleepy head
Hush now, quiet now
It's time to go to bed"
That voice sounded familiar.
Fluttershy!
No. It sounded a little different.
It sounded...more mature. More...god-like.
Where was it coming from? Outside the room? Inside the room?
"No!" I wailed as I tightly held my head to my knees. "Get out of my head! GET OUT! AAARGH! HELP ME! SOMEPONY PLEASE HELP ME!"
"Don't be like that dear, my little foal," the soft voice continued to echo in my head. "There's no need to be afraid. Don't you want to be happy? Don't you want to smile?"
I could feel my grip loosening.
"Yes...listen to mama...yes, just like that..."
"Mama!"
I heard another familiar voice; a young foal's voice. But I didn't hear this one in my mind. I heard it come out of my own mouth. I then looked up and saw her. The alicorn who was calling me. She looked just like Fluttershy but as an alicorn. She smiled just like her too.
Is this my mother? Or is this Fluttershy? Or is this somepony else?
"No!" I cried struggling to free myself. "I know who my real mama is! I know what she looks like ever since I was born! And you're not her! You're not my mama! Lemme go! LEMME GO!"
I then I stopped struggling. I felt warmth inside my heart. The warmth of love. The warmth of unconditional love between a mare and her foal.
"I'm everypony's mama sweetheart," she continued. "I love everyone, I'm not asking you to not love your other mommy, I'm just asking you to love me too. Because mama loves you just as much..."
She was right. I do love my mother, and I know she loves me in return.
But, this didn't feel right. I hung my head in uncertainty.
"You don't need to be scared. I don't command you or any pony to be happy. I only command you not be afraid to be happy. And I know you, I've already seen your dreams and your heart of hearts, I hear them loud and clear, and you display them as plain as day to me...And tell me how it may feel right. All I want you to be is to free of yours demons and heavy weights that drag you down rather than support your inner strength. You have no reason to despair."
"I'm not afraid to be happy! I want to be happy!"
"...But..."
I could suddenly hear my colt voice talking over my foal voice.
"...If I am happy all the time, then I can't tell the difference between what I like and don't like...or what is happy and sad...!"
It was all true. Ponies can't be happy without being able to tell the different between happiness and sadness. And they can't be happy without being able to overcome sadness from time to time.
"Then let me feel your pain and misery for you."
"...No!" I cried. "I don't want anypony to suffer for me anymore! I've always hated myself for letting others suffer for me."
It's true. Although I always like to befriend other ponies, I'm also afraid of hurting them and myself if I get too close. I'm afraid that I might upset
"Just let mother taking that pain for you...Let her feel it instead...Let her feel the regret instead...M-mama, can take it..."
I quickly turned around to see the god-like Fluttershy force a tar-black lance through her own heart. A lance chained to my heart. I immediately recoiled in horror.
"What are you doing!" I shrieked. "Stop! Stop it! You're not my mama! I want my real mama! I wanna see her again! I wanna see my friends again! I want everything to be back to normal!"
I tightly gripped my head.
"I don't want this! I don't want be here! I wanna go back! Take me back! Take me back! Take me back! TAKE ME BACK! TAKE ME BACK TAKE ME BACK TAKE ME BACK TAKE ME BACK TAKE ME BACK TAKE ME BACK TAKE ME BACK TAKE ME BAAAACK!"
"...Ple...ase...Stop...I can't take it anymore...Please take me back home..."
"We've been here sweetie, at your home this entire time."
"Wh...What?"
"I came to visit YOU, I didn't take you to MY home. And I've been loving and comforting your family and friends with just as much love and attention as you. And they've been right alongside you this entire time. And 'normal' as AJ would say is a load of hogwash. Before Celestia and Luna 'normal' was confusion and misery everywhere. Before Luna returned having Celestia rule both the sun and moon was normal. There are places were treating Zebras like dirt is 'normal' dear. Normal is always changing."
She holds me once again and nuzzles me. Not as a foal, but as a full-grown colt. She held me almost exactly how my mother does.
"LIAR!" I yelled as I immediately pushed her away from me. "I didn't want you to come and visit me! I wanted to get away from you! I wanted you to leave me alone! I never wanted you to come and visit me! Especially after what you did to my friends and family! You delusional self-righteous tyrant, I hate you!"
I held my breath. I said it. I finally said it. I thought I'd never bring myself to say it.
"...I HATE you! I hate you more than Discord! I'll NEVER forgive you! I NEVER want to see you again!"
Then I heard crying. It was Fluttershy. I frowned in shock and remorse. I've done it again. I've hurt another pony.
"...A-and..." I whispered.
"...I...I hate...m-myself..."
With that, I immediately turned and ran. All I could do is run away from Fluttershy and leave her to cry alone. I had to do it. I couldn't hold back my feelings anymore. Otherwise, she would've done to me what she did my family and friends.
I wanna see them again. I want them back!
...But...where are they? Where ARE they!
Beta? Beta! Vexel! Joy Stick! Vinyl! Photo! Ditzy! Twilight! Mother!
...Mother...
...Damn! It's too dangerous to even TRY to look for them. Nowhere is safe now...All I can do is keep running...
...Twilight...Help me...
...Please...Twilight...You're the only pony who can help me now...
I've been running through this thick fog for five straight minutes.
It's not fair. Why am I the only pony so far who has resisted the effects of this fog?
"You haven't so much resisted my little pony...as rejected."
I shut my eyes and started running again.
"SHUT UP!" I screamed. "SHUT UP! LEAVE ME ALONE! I REJECTED YOU FOR A REASON! YOU TOOK ALL OF MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY AWAY! YOU BRAINWASHED EVERYPONY JUST LIKE HOW DISCORD DID!
WORST OF ALL, MY MOTHER! YOU EVEN TOOK MY MOTHER AWAY FROM ME!
YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER! YOU'RE NOT FLUTTERSHY! YOU'RE NOPONY! I DON'T WANT YOU! I DON'T LOVE YOU! I'M NEVER GOING TO LOVE YOU AFTER WHAT YOU'VE DONE! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!"
Suddenly, I felt somepony gently nuzzling me.
...Am I...hallucinating!
"...M-Mother...?" I uttered. "...Is...that really you!"
...Wait...Who is this...?
She looks like...my mother when she was just a filly...
"What the hay's going on?" I asked myself holding my own mother as if I were her father. "Mother, what's happened to you? What have they done to you?"
At that moment, my fear quickly became my fury.
"...What has she done to you! Are you still out there! Are you still out there! What have you done to her! Tell me, you selfish bitch!"
"NEO!" spoke my Mother in a filly's voice. "Don't you DARE talk to Mama Princess Gaia like that!" I immediately dropped her and recoiled in shock. "She loves us all very much and it's mean of you to say those awful things to her!"
Mama Princess Gaia? Is THAT her name!
"If hating me is what makes you happy, then please hate me. But being this way is what makes your mother happy. I offered and she accepted. Like everypony." The voice sounds submissive, small, in other words, Fluttershy when she's told she's done something awful.
"NO!" I snapped defensively. "I'm not enjoying this one damn bit! I hate this!
My mother has always told me that she never likes seeing me this way! She always told me that she never likes seeing me upset!
But, no matter what I do, I always end up hurting others and myself! That's what I hate myself! I'm incapable of doing anything good for anypony else!"
"Then become my knight and join me," she continued. "And protect all those smaller than you."
I tensed my hooves. I knew it would come to this sooner or later.
"NO!" I screamed immediately turning around and punching the air hoping to punch this "Princess Gaia" in the face. "I'd rather die than serve as bucked-up as you! I want my friends back! I want Fluttershy back! I want my mother back! I want everypony back! GIVE THEM BACK! I WANT THEM BACK NOW!"
"Your friends are here right now. I am here right now. She is here right now. They are all here right now. You just refuse to accept they're still themselves."
"LIAR!" I bawled as I hung my head with tears streaming down my eyes.
"They're not themselves! My mother would never want to see me suffer like this! She would never choose you over her own son!
And Fluttershy would never do something as horrible as this! She's twenty times worth the pony you could ever wish to be!
They're not themselves! This isn't real! None of this is real!
I want to return to reality! I want to go back to the real world with my family and friends!
If I can't return without them, if I have to return alone, then I'd rather die here and now than live the rest of my life as an illusion!"
After my biggest emotional outburst yet, there was a long silence. No other sound was made apart from my crying.
"Thank you for hating me," Princess Gaia finally responded breaking the silence. Filled with hopelessness, I collapsed to the floor burying my face in hooves.
"...You're not gonna let me bring back them, are you...?" I sobbed.
"...You're just gonna let them stay like this forever, aren't you!
...You could easily kill me if you wanted to! ...If I wanted you to!
...So go ahead...
...Kill me.
...Sentence me to death.
...Remove me from this world.
...And let me fade away into nothingness...
If I can't return to reality with my family and friends, then I welcome death..."
"They stay this way because it's what they want to."
"...I don't care anymore...
...Just hurry up and kill me..."
"It's not the place of the forsaken foal to kill anyone."
"Fine!" I yelled finally standing up. "If you won't kill me, I'll do it myself!"
Thus, I bit my own tongue off. Never in my entire life have I felt such physical pain. I felt like somepony filled my lungs with gas and set me on fire from the inside. And then I collapsed once again lying on my sides as my vision slowly faded away and I drew my last breath...
...
I slowly opened my eyes. I was staring at a blank white ceiling.
"...Where am I...?" I uttered.
I looked around and noticed several foals dressed up as doctors standing around me. I realised that I was lying on a hospital bed with tubes attached to me. Did these foals save me?
"No!" I cried struggling to escape. "Get away from me! Stay away from me! I don't want to live in this world anymore! I've had enough! I want to die! You won't kill me anyway! Why won't you let me kill myself!"
"Because they consider you family," a familiar female voice said.It was Princess Gaia again. "Just like your mother does and they're not about to let you give in to despair."
"Buck you!" I screamed finally setting myself free. "YOU'RE the one who dragged ME into this bucked-up world! YOU'RE the one who filled me with despair! YOU'RE the one who took EVERYTHING from me!
I have a family! I have a mother! But THIS IS NOT FAMILY! AND YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER!"
By the time I stopped screaming, the hospital room was a total mess. A mess I created in anger.
"Cause you only THINK you know the whole story," said one of the doctor foals approaching me. "And only THINK you've seen the whole picture."
I quickly turned my back on him and all the other mindless foals. "Yes! But I don't want to see the whole picture anymore! I don't want to understand! I don't even want to try!
I've already seen enough to know how bucked up this world is! So I'd rather turn my back on it and die here and now!"
I turned back around.
"But you bastards won't even let me! You know that I hate this world! That I hate Princess Gaia! But you won't let me put an end to my own suffering!
You're trying to trap me here to make me suffer even more, AREN'T YOU!"
"You were free to leave any moment you wanted, but this anger, this self-righteousness, this moral high-ground, is what made you happy."
"I AM NOT HAPPY!"
I opened my eyes and recoiled in horror. I then started staring at my own hooves with tears continuing to stream down my face. I realised that I was strangling one of the foals with my own bare hooves. I couldn't believe it. I almost killed a foal. All of the horrible things that I've done in my life, this was the worst possible thing.
With that, I turned my back on them and started running once again.
Fine!
If my friends and family don't want to come with me, then they can stay here and let Princess Gaia continue treating them like dolls for all I care!
I'm nopony's doll! I'll think for myself and live by myself!
...Goodbye...everypony...
...Forgive me...Mother...
BAD END