Through the darkness

Translated by Laris Neal

Sometimes I'd say that I had a tough life, sometimes not that much. I think that everything depends on a point of view. Some people torment themselves because of the tough life they have, but people like me are habituated to grow up surrounded by boundaries. My life had always been a blur, where the dark was the only color I had been introduced to, but I was used to the darkness which I had been condemned since I was born. The day of my delivery wasn't easy, my mother had a complication in her pregnancy and I was born premature.

The day of my birth was also the day I almost died. It was a hopeless case and they said that it was a matter of hours and maybe even minutes to my death. I already had been born fighting for life. The midwife had told my father that neither my mother nor I would survive the night; my mother had a bleeding because of the delivery and I was too premature. I almost couldn't breathe; the slightest breeze of air couldn't pass through my lungs, that weren't even formed yet.

My mother even without any strength didn't want to leave me alone. She didn't want to abandon me in the moment I needed her most. She wanted to be with me in every single moment even if she didn't know what could happen next. She wanted to kiss the top of my head and say that she loved me. She thought that maybe that sentence would be the last one she had said and the only one I would ever hear. My father put me over my mother's breasts and stood by her all the time.

The hours passed and my father was ready for the worst, he was ready for the end, since the doctor said to him to not be hopeful about the situation. My father lay down beside my mother and with one hand he held hers, and he put the other hand above my head. So he waited, there was nothing more to do besides to wait. The waiting was the hell for my father because in one single night he could lose the two loves of his life.

Maybe it was a miracle, to be honest no one knows for sure what had happened, but at that night my heart didn't skip a beat and a flame of hope started to grow inside my father's heart. He repeated to himself, "If my babes could get through this night, then they would be able to survive." So he repeated it over and over again for a day, for weeks that became months. My size was little if compared to the other babies, but for my father and my mother, that was regaining health, I was the little miracle of the family.

Time passed by and my mother realized that I did not respond to any ocular reflex. They called a doctor to consult me and he found out the problem: my blindness. It was probably caused by the many troubles in my birth. I wish I could have had a normal childhood, but it didn't happen. Independence was a banished word in my life. I couldn't do anything. Every time I walked through the house my mother would always guide me as if I didn't know where it was each furniture of the house.

I was never able to make true my biggest wish: ride a horse. I heard the neighs of that animal that fascinated me so much and I could do nothing, just stand away hearing the noises the horse made. My father's employees always told me the adventures of their ride and I was always enchanted by every story they told. That was the time that I began to ask my father to teach me to ride. But he couldn't do that and the tears fell down his face every time I had asked him the same question. One day he brought me to the stable and allowed me to touch the horses, caressing them one by one. Just by feeling with my hands each animal that we owned my heart squeezed in pain because that was the life I wanted and could never have.

Why did I have to be blind? Why did I always be deprived of everything in my life? Why did my mother always follow me to every corner of my house? There was no need of that; I have had time enough to learn by heart every inch of that place. But no one ever trusted me and I was living imprisoned. One day I just yelled at my mother that I'd rather be dead to be condoned to live like that and the answer I received was her hand at my face. Between tears she said that I should never ever say something like that again, because she didn't know how to get through if she had lost me at my birth.

But I did not want that life subdued by the ghost of the darkness that followed me since the day I was born. I wanted to know what the colors were, to see the three's trunk where I always leaned to feel the air on my face. I wanted new experiences so that's why I decided I was leaving home. It was my right to have my own life experiences and I could never do anything by myself inside that house.

I was able to get out of my property easily, because during the walks with my father I memorized every part of the land of my house. But when I finally got out by the huge hooded gate everything became new to me. With the help of a stick, I walked around and after a while I was close to somewhere. Using my hands I found out a door and then I opened it. After a noise it locked behind me. I tried to open it again without success. I was locked inside an unknown house and I had no clue where I was at.

A whisper was calling me. "Regina, Regina, Regina." And I didn't know what to do; part of me wanted to follow that voice, but something didn't let me. The windows of the house started to open it and close it repeatedly, the doors were creaking and the faucets of the place were leaking. I walked around trying to follow that voice but every time I got near it, it seemed farther. I was scared and for the first time I thought it was a stupid idea to runaway. For the first time I wanted the safety to be lay down in my bed with my mom next to me to take me to all the places.

I yelled. "Who's there?" And the voice only replied me: "Regina, Regina, Regina." Even that I seemed to get closer to it, the voice was still away. Soon I heard laughs, and there were all the kinds of laughs: lightly, strongs, evils… And the last one caught my attention. What was happening? I asked to myself. "Who's there?" Again no answer and the panic took control over my body. Nothing could tranquilize the fear that shadowed my heart. Would I die just the way I had wished so many times before? My hiccups mixed to the many sounds the house were making; it was like a little horror shop where I was struggling to get out, but I just couldn't.

"Mom, please, help me!" I cried. In that moment I was down on my knees while all the sounds got mixed into the voice that was calling me. I lay down in a fetal position and put my hands over my head. I was blind so all the other senses were more accurate and my perception was pretty good. That sound was loudly crazy for me. Tears fell down my cheeks and I was praying to be saved.

The door opened and I heard a female voice. "Is anybody there?" I almost couldn't answer, it was difficult to breathe and my voice was hoarse because of the crying. I did the best I could. "Please, somebody help me…" I felt two hands holding me safely some seconds later.

"Hey, is everything okay. You are safe." That voice was so calm and gentle that I wished I could see. And for the first time it wasn't just a matter of seeing, I really wanted to see who had saved me. While walking through the house the lady asked me.

"Are you blind?" I nodded sadly. She noticed that and caressed my face with her soft hands. I did the same, running my fingers on her face, feeling her skin as if I could memorize every trace of the face of my savior. "Do you believe in love at first sight?" She asked me.

"I wasn't raise to love and to marry. My mother would never accept it." I answered moving away from her hands. It was a hard move even that I had just met her.

"Your mother wouldn't let you get married just because you're blind?" She was very exalted. I didn't say anything, but my silence spook for itself. "So what do I do now? I'm already madly in love with you."

"Could you kiss me? I always wanted to kiss someone when I fall in love and I feel it's you."

"I'd love to kiss you, but I don't even know your name. What's your name?" She asked.

"My name is Regina Mills. And yours?" I smiled gently.

"Emma Swan." She answered holding my hand and pulling me closer to kiss me. I closed my eyes by instinct, and we kissed intensively. I had never felt like that before. It seemed so incredible magic! Everything I wanted was to make that moment to last forever, but our bodies were claiming for air. We got apart and I opened my eyes. As soon as I did it I screamed in pain and closed them again. I fell on my knees on the ground and she came quickly worried about me.

"Regina, what is happening?"

"I don't know what's happening, but it hurt when I tried to open my eyes. There was nothing and now there are things I cannot identify. What's happening to me?"

"I think you're starting to see, Regina. That's the only answer. You're not used to the sunshine." She tranquilized me and put a hat over my head, protecting my eyes from the light. "Now, try to open your eyes again, take it easy."

I only saw some blurs at the beginning, but I was finally seeing. I had a vision for real this time. I said to Emma with tears in my eyes; "I can see, Emma. I think it happened when I kissed you. Would it be possible?"

"When it's about love everything is possible. By the way, I'm the daughter of Prince Charming and Snow White. And my parents always had found me. And now I found you today. I was destined to save you from your darkness. I love you, Regina."