Summary: Set nearly a year after Edward leaves. As Bella and Jacob fill out invitations to her upcoming graduation party, Bella debates her relationship with Jacob. And what happens when some uninvited and unexpected guests show up to said party?

AN: I am beginning to edit the original chapters of this story for grammatical errors, inconsistencies, and generally annoying formatting quirks. All content will remain the same.

Leaving Me Breathless

Chapter 1: Invitations

"I won't put you through anything like this again…it will be as if I'd never existed."

Yeah, right.

Clearly he didn't know me very well, not even then. As if he never existed? As if this world could be spinning without him in it. He should have known better.

The hole in my chest rippled slightly as I thought of him. My breath caught in my throat and I clenched my teeth together as I waited for the pain to pass. It was bearable now. Not completely gone, but time had healed me.

Okay, maybe that was overstating things. I still couldn't think his name or the names of his family members without the hole threatening to rip itself apart. But Jacob had mended me. Time had let me lick my wounds. I was surviving. Not really living, but surviving. That's all I wanted out of life anymore. I didn't need to be happy; I knew that that was a lost cause. I did however have the choice to make Jacob happy. And happiness is all that I wanted for my best friend.

Jacob had found some thread and a needle and began to sew up the hole, slowly but surely. He loved me and I loved him, in a way. It would never be as much as I loved him- the way that took my breath away, the way that rendered me speechless with just one look, just one touch- but it was enough. Jacob accepted me for who I was, who I am, even with my jagged edges.

I was broken and he didn't care.

My heart did a little sputter as I thought of Jacob, my best friend. It had taken me awhile to get to this point. It had been nine months, nearly a year, since well, since he had left. While I wasn't in love with Jacob, I did love him. I loved how he managed to make me laugh, even when I just wanted to sob out all of my pain. I loved how he could brighten an entire room with just one smile. Most of all I loved how no matter what, he managed to take away the pain, the misery. I would never forget him but maybe he was right. Maybe I could move on. That was what he wanted, right? It would make Jacob happy as well, if I just let him love me.

I sighed aloud as my thoughts and doubts battled in my head for the umpteenth time in the last year and a half. I wondered idly if it would hurt too badly if I jabbed a pencil into my temple. Probably. Ugh.

"Bella, what are you doing?" Jacob asked suddenly.

We were sitting at my kitchen table filling out last minute invitations to my graduation party. Yeah, definitely not my idea. Unfortunately, Charlie and Renee were under the impression that every graduate should celebrate with a party. If you asked me, I'd tell you that I was sick and tired of everyone telling me that I couldn't miss out on certain experiences. First prom, and now this? Would anyone ever show me some mercy?

The hole rippled again painfully. Focus Bella. You know you don't want to go down that road, especially not in front of Jacob.

"Hello! Earth to Bells. Anyone home?" Jacob said louder, waving a hand in front of my face.

"Oh, sorry Jake. I was spacing out. What were you saying?"

"I was just asking what you were doing. Were you planning to give yourself a splinter?" Jacob asked, gesturing to my right hand. It was clenched tight around my pencil, knuckles white.

"Oh sorry," I said again, dropping the pencil immediately.

"Is everything okay?" He asked cautiously, placing his huge, heavy hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, everything's good. I just have a lot on my mind lately."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

Yes.

"No. I'm good." I said quickly. "Did you finish your part of the list?"

"Yeah." He said, frowning slightly. "I still don't understand why we have to fill out these stupid invitations. You don't even want to have this party."

"Charlie threatened to have Billy lock you in your room if I didn't fill them out. He wanted to be sure that everyone I wanted to be there was there. And since you're my best friend, you get suckered into this. Because really, I would rather not spend all of my free time alone while you were locked in a bedroom."

I sighed mentally. There would be one person that wouldn't be there. The only person that I wanted to be there. The only person that would make this miserable party bearable.

Shut up, Bella! He doesn't want you anymore. Give it up already!

I heard Jake grumble something unintelligible that sounded somewhat vulgar. I was pretty sure "filthy bloodsuckers" was involved. I winced slightly. He noticed as always.

"Sorry." He muttered.

"It's okay." I mumbled.

"So, do you think that we should send, uh, the Cullens an invite?" He blurted out quickly.

"What?!" I hissed, panic boiling up my throat. "No. No way. Jacob, I swear to God and everything Holy, if you send- if you send them an invite, I will hunt you like a dog. Do you understand me? I swear that I will wring your neck with my bare hands." I growled, glaring at him with as much force as I could muster.

"Jeesh, Bells! Calm down, it was just a question." He said apologetically. "I'm sorry that I brought it up."

"I need you to promise," I continued, feeling my eyes narrow in my anger, "Promise me that you won't send them an invitation. It's embarrassing, Jacob. They don't want to be a part of my life anymore. They left me, remember? I'm not going to bother them with my silly human experiences. I'm really not that desperate."

"Okay, okay. I promise."

I nodded once.

We continued filling out invitations awkwardly after that. I slowly started to feel guilty about my little outburst. After all, I knew that it pained Jacob to think that I still loved him. That I still wanted him in my life. I knew that it must have taken a lot out of him to ask that simple question. Jacob only wanted what was best for me, and I loved him for that.

"I'm so sor-"I began before he interrupted me.

"Don't worry about it, Bells." Jacob said with a smile. He was seemingly unfazed by my anger.

"I just feel guilty, that's all." I mumbled, glaring down at the sparkly invitation in my hand.

Jacob reached out and pulled my face up by my chin.

"It's okay, Bella. I promise. I won't send them an invitation. Let's just pretend that never happened, okay?" He smiled at the relief I was sure shone on my face.

"Okay." I nodded.

Surprisingly, or unsurprisingly perhaps, Jacob left his hand on my face. He simply moved it from beneath my chin to my cheek. He stared deeply into my eyes for a few moments and I felt my pulse quicken. What was he doing? Was this it? Did I have to tell him right now whether or not I could love him? Whether or not I could make him happy?

"You are so beautiful, Bella Swan." He practically crooned, rubbing his thumb soothingly across my cheek. I gulped.

"Um. Thanks, Jake." I said nervously. "You're kind of beautiful too. I mean, for a werewolf." I tried to lighten the mood.

He let out a low chuckle but continued to stare at my face, memorizing it.

"I love you, Bella. I always will, no matter what. I know I can make you happy, if you would just let me try."

I sighed loudly. "We've talked about this, Jake." I said, fidgeting in my chair.

"I know." He said matter of factly.

"Then you know that I don't love you like that. You're my best friend, Jacob, but I'm not in love with you." I felt like I had been giving this speech way too often these days.

He sighed, also frustrated. "You could love me like that though, Bella. If you tried. Don't you see? If you would just let go of Edward, we could be happy together."

The hole ripped a little farther open on that one. "Stop saying their names." I hissed through clenched teeth.

"Okay, sorry! But you know that it's true. We were meant to be together. You know that and I know that. You're just too stubborn to admit it."

"Jake-"

"Admit it, Bells." He said lowly, his face just inches from mine. I could feel his warm breath on my cheek. "Admit that we're meant to be together. I know that you know that it's true. So admit it."

For a moment, I was distracted. I had never been this close to Jacob before. I had never felt so vulnerable or so safe in his presence.

"Admit it." He said again, demanding this time.

And at that moment, I realized that I would be safe with Jacob. He would never hurt me. And just like that, all my resolved crumbled around me. "I admit it." I breathed.

In an instant, his lips were pressed softly against mine.