Bassterd's Beginning

I had no relationship with my father. Everything in my household revolved around money and business deals. So naturally I was drawn to power, I feared feeling vulnerable as it was considered weak to my father. All I aspired to was anything that kept me in control. So I paid for intimacy as I had none at home. Which worked in my favour because I had no desire to be anyone's anything. The only women I grew up around were either my father's staff or his affairs, which often were the same thing. So naturally I didn't have any women to look up to or more importantly respect.

I am Chuck Bass, an old fashioned, possessive and vindictive man. If I had ever imagined I could ever find a woman worth my respect she was only in old black and white movies I used to watch, the ones that inspired great loves set in Paris in the 1920s. Women of elegance. They don't exist anymore.

Hey Constance St Jude

I cared about three things, Money, the pleasures money brings me and Nate Archibald. My best friend who probably was the only human contact I had that was based on mutual respect. Nate was a true friend, the only person to ever have my back. No one else would have been my friend at the time, and honestly, I could manipulate everyone else, so I didn't care enough to make friends with those who weren't an equal.

The Girls at Constance were no different. They didn't excite me. They were too easy it bored me, it all became a conquest. The majority would flaunt their sexuality, desperate for attention, especially on the Upper East side, none of them were worth more than a night. The rest, were too busy assuring their friends that they were far too good to let me get their hands on them, which made it even more of a challenge, that I enjoyed. I had never met a girl with the elegance I found irresistible, someone who didn't give it all up easily, someone that made me earn it. Well until now.

That's probably why my friendship with Blair grew quicker than mine with Serena. Serena van Der Woodsen was honestly, in my eyes, a train wreck. She was a good person, but sloppy for my taste. Sloppy with her drinking and her body. Most girls around here were like that. Blair was mesmerizing to me, good reputation, hard to get, and not to mention had a downright devious personality. I think I'm the only one to find that hot. Blair and I were cut from the same cloth, old fashioned style plus she was a cold hearted, mastermind at schemes. Impressive.

The non-judging breakfast club

When I first met Blair and Serena it was the time Nate was introducing Blair as his girlfriend. Serena may have been most men's dream girl, friendly, sexy, inviting but that was more more Nate's type than mine. Surprisingly Blair was much more mine, She was a modern day Audrey Hepburn. She was strong, controlled and a complete bitch to everyone. Something that Nate was opposed to just happened to be what I was drawn to. She wasn't like the other girls of our generation. She was conservative, reserved, distant, didn't let anyone in... definitely a girl I could finally respect. The four of us, as much as we hated to admit it, had a gang of our own, even if we despised each other at times.

Mind, Body and Scheme

I admired Blair's dark side. Blair was possibly more evil than I was. She definitely was the crazy bitch of the upper east side. You see, I liked playing the puppeteer in my schemes. I enjoyed tricking others into doing my dirty work but Blair, she wanted to make sure you and everyone else knew it was her that took you down. Gotta admire her guts.

Cool exterior, the fire below Victrola

The first time I truly fixated on Blair Waldorf was when I was 16. Observing her on the met steps. Classy and elegant in her uniform, the Blair Waldorf customized uniform that inspired tons of Constance girls, and of course... her headband.

She instilled fear in thousands of young girls. Everyone feared and idolized her. I realized how truly powerful she was and that fascinated me.

But when she got on that stage at Victrola and her delicate graces revealed a seductive and echanting manner, I thought "Could this be the girl of my dreams?" Because beneath the conservative, reserved, cold exterior that I admired so much, was a dark, sexual deviant. She showed she was my kind of 1920s girl, she did not unveil the mystery of what wildness resides within her unless you were deemed worthy. That makes an old fashioned man like me feel special. That she was sharing something with only you. The only man would would ever get to enjoy her touch, her body, she let you have something that no other man would ever get to see.

I'd dreamed of that, getting to have a classic girl that was only mine, purely mine... They don't make 'em like that anymore. For the first time, I think I'm falling in love, and you can bet your asses I had no idea what that was or how the hell to handle that.

It was the first time I ever had sex that meant something, this was the first time I did this with someone I actually respected, someone I care about. I wanted her to know I appreciate how special it is coming from a girl like her that doesn't gift this to just anyone. I wanted her to be sure she wanted me to have it.

That's when I realized she was the only girl who could overpower me.