Warriors Matchmaking class

by Furyfeather

The timeline is broken. All the Warrior cats/talking animals mentioned in the series are invited to a "How to match make class." Little do they know, it's led by Scourge, Princess, Mapleshade, Yellowfang, Bluestar, Brokenstar, Thistleclaw and Leafpool. Not all the cats come, but the ones they do will never forget it. I do not own warriors Erin Hunter does.

Cats that come to the class:

Foxleap

Briarlight

Longtail

Snowtuft

Blackstar

Russetfur

Jake

Crookedstar

Willowshine

Tall Shadow/Shadowstar

Bright stream

Midnight

Rock (A freaky sort of superviser)

Half Moon

Jayfeather

Olivenose

Needletail

Darktail

Crowfeather (To make things interesting)

Fallen Leaves

Breezepelt

Harestar

Honeyfern

"Welcome to matchmaking class. We will be teaching you how to find a mate for yourself." Bluestar meowed loudly, catching the attention of everyone in the clearing. They all looked up from there conversations. We will be starting with Mapleshade, and her advice on how to find a mate.

"Ok. Well. Ummm... Here is my advice. Don't have a mate."

"But-" Bright Stream was cut off by Mapleshade.

"No buts! Or cuts! Or coconuts!" Mapleshade yowled drunkly. Every cat snickered.

"I have a question. What are coconuts?" Darktail asked.

"Shut up dummy, they're probably a twoleg thing! Brokenstar mewed, then looked at Darktail like he was dumb.

"Umm, I know what a coconut is," Princess meowed shyly. Then she broke out into a coconut version of Milkshake by Kelis. FYI: My coconuts bring all the boys to the yard...

"Innapropiate Princess!" Leafpool yowled, then muttered under her breath: "I can't believe you are my father's sister."

"Ok, my turn," Thistleclaw had to mew loud to be heard over Princess. "Make sure that whoever you like eventually gets hit by a monster. Medicine cats, this will be especially easy for you because you can see into the future."

"WTF Thistleclaw, no we can't!" Willowshine mewed, annoyed.

"Or can you?" Russetfur meowed.

"I'm leaving. I'll let you fox-brains talk and talk." Fallen Leaves mewed.

"Wait!" Hollyleaf poked her head out from behind a star.

"Fine, I'll stay."

"I has a stick!" Rock meowed like he was high on Catmint. Then the whole clearing broke into chaos. Leafpool an Crowfeather were cursing at each other, Breezepelt was stalking Hollyleaf like prey, Princess had moved on to other innapropriate songs, one being "Side to side". When everyone finally started leaving, Leafpool yowled: "Have a happy holiday! And remember, always take a mate from another clan. Noone cares about that rule in the Warrior's Code anymore! I got off sooooooooooo easy!

"There is no holiday this moon. She's crazy. They all are." Longtail muttered under his breath as he was leaving.