Edward's Christmas Carol

Disclaimer: The plotline belongs to Charles Dickens and the rest is Steph Meyer's. I'm just playing in their awesome world.

Chapter 1December Twenty-Fourth

Everyone hurrying down the block was bundled tightly against the bitter cold. The snow pouring down heavily coated everything and everyone in glittering crystals that glinted in the moonlight. I was surrounded by people all bundled up, faces down to avoid the frigid breeze, and felt so lonely. Though I walked with them, I was not of them. The rough winters of New York did not faze me as it did them and the spirit of Christmas, that had everyone rushing to stores for last minute Christmas gifts, did not live inside me.

I sat on the bench and watched the humans skate at Rockefeller Center and for the millionth time wondered what my love was doing at that precise moment. Would her mind wander to me briefly? Or had I been too true to my word and erased myself from her life so thoroughly that she'd buried all memories of me somewhere so deep down never be rediscovered?

"Merry Christmas," a stunning woman in a floor sweeping cashmere coat holding a steaming cup of hot chocolate said to me as she sat on the bench her eyes appraising every inch of me, her internal thoughts noting the absence of a wedding ring.

I nodded but remained quiet, not sure if tonight I wanted to get lost in some nameless woman's embrace. I'd spent many nights that way in my vain attempt to forget about…her. And no matter how lovely, smart, or interesting they were, none of them filled the void inside me. No, there was only one cure for that and I'd given her up long ago.

"I'm Anna," she spoke softly, her hot breath misting in front of her painted mouth and offered me a leather-clad hand.

"Edward," I replied drawing her hand to my lips and grazing her knuckles with a kiss that sent her heart racing and left her nearly breathless. "Do you live around here, Anna?"

Her hazel eyes were wide and locked on mine as I leaned further into her personal space letting my scent wash over her leaving her a befuddled mess. "Dazzled," she'd called it once upon a time. I'd seen that look many times on so many women's faces.

"A block over," she finally whispered. "Would you like to come up for a…drink?"

I chuckled. So that's what they were calling it these days. A drink? The poor thing had no clue that I could read her every nefarious thought. "I'd love to."

I stood under the spray of the shower with the water as hot as it would go and let it wash the sins of my depraved night away. I'd had a brief moment with Anna where the urge to show her what I was was so tempting, her blood calling to me so loudly, that it was a miracle that I was able to leave her alive and very well satisfied. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for me. None of the women ever slaked the need that rode me. And as for alive…well, I hadn't been for more years than I cared to count. Though, there had been a time when she'd given me back some semblance of my life.

I threw on my navy robe and poured some leftover deer blood into a cracked coffee cup, heated it up, and sat at my piano. The same damn thing I'd done last night and the night before and countless other nights. My fingers automatically played her song. They only slowed long enough to take a sip from the warm cup then picked up their ferocious speed while I pictured the lovely mortal that the song had been created for; each note, each image shredding through my dead heart more effectively than any vampire ever could.

A trick of the light showed a face in the lacquer of my piano startling me so that I faltered mid way through the song I knew so well. I glanced around the barren room drawing in a lungful of air to scent the air, but as far as I could tell, I was as alone as I always was every other night. I picked up where I left off after quietly listening for signs of an intruder. For one hopeful second, I thought maybe my family had decided to ignore my wishes and decided to visit me, but I'd burned that bridge long ago.

"Edward."

My head snapped up and my mother's face was reflected in the window across the room. Her long bronze hair flowed around her as though the wind had caught it and her emerald eyes sparkled like the most perfect jewels as she stepped out of the window and floated to the middle of the room.

I'd snapped. Too long by myself brooding and my mind had finally snapped.

"Oh my dear, dear boy. What have you done?"

I shook my head, closed my eyes, and began playing. Playing to drown out the familiar notes of my imagined mother's comforting voice, playing to drown out the Christmas carols that droned on and on endlessly in the surrounding apartments, but mostly to fill the emptiness that bore down on me.

"You always did play beautifully, my boy," she whispered against my ear and it was so real that I could have sworn I felt her breath against my chilled flesh.

My fingers stilled much the way an animal does in hopes that the predator will pass it by. "What is this? You're…dead," I whispered. It was one thing to see and hear things, but talking to them...well, that certainly wasn't a good sign.

She nodded looking so sad. "I am." She reached out and skimmed my cheek with her weightless, insubstantial hand. I hadn't expected to feel anything, but there was an almost imperceptible tingle where she'd grazed me. "Edward, you must listen to me. You're wasting the life I gave to you."

She fluttered away, her gaze taking in all the charcoal sketches of my vampire family and one human. "You had so much and you've turned your back on it. On all of them." When she turned back to face me she looked the way she had on her death bed as she used up the last of her strength to take care of me.

I gasped at her withered form growing older and nearer to death with each passing second.

"You must right the wrongs, Edward."

I shook my head knowing how futile it would be. Some wrongs just couldn't be righted, some acts were unforgivable. I'd broken her heart more times than I could count and tore my family apart in the process. She'd finally moved on with her life, just like I'd told her to, and I'd hurt my vampire family too badly to ever hope that they'd ever welcome me back. "There's no going back," I mumbled pressure building in my chest from the overwhelming emotions the conversation was dredging up.

"To help you see what is so plain to see, three ghosts will be visiting you this night. Listen to them, my boy. Heed them well." She kissed me gently on the cheek. "Otherwise, you will regret it for all eternity."

And as quickly as she'd appeared, she vanished leaving me standing in the middle of my barely furnished living room wondering what the hell had just happened.