"Teardrops On My Guitar" – Onesided Kanda x Fem. Allen, Alma x Kanda
Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without
Allen sighed as she sat there bound in chains and spells from the Crows. She sat there with nothing to do but to go through all her memories of good times. For soon the 14th will destroy her whole existence like she had never lived. Allen remembered the times when Lavi would play pranks, Lenalee would destroy all her brother's Koumrins, Jerry would make the best food she had ever tasted, and other things that really made her life worth living every single day.
Tears slipped down her face. 'Kanda...' Allen remembered all the times he would call her 'Moyashi.' she was always mad that he would never call her by name nor did she not like that he was a complete jerk. But...despite that she fallen in love with him, completely idioticly in love. She had figured it out right after she had saved everyone in the ark. She had been so relieved that Kanda had survived that she had finally realized the feelings that she had for Kanda was...love. Ever since she had been separated from him to go on the search for Master Cross, all she could think about was Kanda.
But due to recent events she wondered if she should have fallen in love in the first place...when he already had a special person in his heart. Allen remembers when they went on their first mission together in Mater. When Kanda was asked why he wouldn't die he reply that he had to find 'that person' first. At first she ignored it but now just thinking about it he was talking about Alma wasn't he?
Drew talks to me, I laugh 'cause it's just so funny
And I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night
Allen remembers the times when they fought, she would laugh at his mad expression and taunt him making him only madder. She would also get lost in how beautiful he was and forget the presence of other people around them.
But when Kanda mention 'that person' again. She got disappointed and excuse herself to go to her room saying she wasn't feeling well. She laid on her bed and cried not knowing why herself. She laid there for almost half the night thinking about him.
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
She would go to the piano room and play a sweet melody thinking of Kanda. It wasn't the 14th's song but a tune to her love for Kanda, a love she could never have. But just like in all those fairytales that Mana use to read before she went to sleep every night, where the princess would wish on a star for her true love. It was almost like playing the unknown melody, was like wishing on a star for it to come true. Even though she knew it was pointless since how could he ever love her?
Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky 'cause
Allen leaned her head against the wall behind her, staring up at the stone tiles on the ceiling as more tears fell from her eyes silently. She remembered when she would be aimlessly walking through the Order's halls with no destination in mind. And Kanda would past her taking her breath away, with his proud and beautiful walk. The way his hair would flawlessly sway with the rhythm in his step.
Kanda was so flawless and beautiful with his perfect skin and long black soft hair that any girl would be jealous of. But when she remembers how freakish she looked it only made her heart hurt more. Since how could someone has perfect as Kanda ever love someone so freakish? She had seen the women Kanda had loved in the past, she was so pretty and she looked so kind, she is perfect for him. And now that they were together she hoped that she knew how lucky she was to have Kanda hold her in his arms and look at her with those beautiful eyes. Eyes that were always searching for her, Alma.
So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight
It was never meant to be anyway, we're complete different with different opinions. Even though they say opposites attract, it's not always true. And besides no one can really find true love in life because no one is a perfect prince with a white horse, ready to save the princess from the dragon and then ride with her into the sunset to live happily ever after. She has always wished that would happen to her when she was growing up under the apprenticeship of Master Cross. That a prince like the one in the storybooks Mana would read to her, would save her from her horrible cruel life and take her away to live happily ever after.
But she gave up a long time ago of finding true love with a perfect prince charming. Besides who would ever love a freak like her. No guy would ever approach her for her appearance, but she didn't want a guy to like her for her outside appearance but for just being herself.
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into.
Tears fall down her face as she remembered that he was probably dead or if he was alive, he probably won't come back since he is free now. She sniffed and smiled a little at that thought, that at least he was happy and free with the person he loves. Though she felt a slight pain of jealously and sadness at not being the one that he loves. Who would have known that the person he hates the most would fall for him.
Allen wiped the tears from her eyes as she laughed bitterly. Even though she has wasted all this time thinking about him, truthfully a jerk like him doesn't deserve her love but...that's what she thought before he had thanked her, calling her by her name. At that time she had convinced herself that he loved Alma so he didn't deserve her but when he had said her name it was a beautiful moment that will always be in her heart. Because that was the first time he had ever said her name and he said it so beautifully.
But even if she never sees him again, and even if she does and he rejects her. She'll just wait for him since she has never this way about anyone before, besides he has been looking for Alma a long time now. Anyway soon Allen will be no more and Neah the 14th will take over. And so what would be the point of actually confessing to him if she won't be there to love him, if he does love her. She would just hurt him by confessing and then turning into the 14th, and then having to fight Neah who would be controlling her body.
Maybe it's a good thing if she doesn't confess. Well for now until she sinks down into that pit of darkness that is death, he will be there in her dreams with no Alma. But her to love him, and he to love her. Allen closed her eyes and fell into a sleep filled with dreams of a happily ever after with Kanda as her prince.
Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.
A/N: Well I hope enjoyed it. This my first time doing a song fic, and it looks like it turned out pretty good. Poor fem. Allen really this makes want to write a second chapter where it's actually happy and they get together. The song fic happens after the Alma arc and before Allen runs away if you didn't figure it out, but I think it was obvious. Actually I had wrote this a few months ago but I didn't really write ending until today. I might actually write a happy second chapter now I just have to find the right song, but I think I have a idea. So review and tell me if I should have this a one-shot or a two-shot.