Hi ya'all...I really don't know why I started this! I just felt like doing something a bit fun and lighthearted...my other stories were depressing me hehe, and I was bored!I hope you enjoy this story...its all a bit of silliness really, and comedy ain't really my thing in terms of writing, but please, no flames! They depress me so! So, please read and review, and tell me what you think! Maybe give me a few ideas, cause I have no idea where this is going...but I guarrantee it is going to most likely get more and more ridiculous...well, I hope anyway! Please read and review!

Oh, and the title of the story comes from the famous Monty Python show/movies/ franchise...I love it so, and I thought it seemed like a great name!

I do not own friends/actors/characters, but I would gladly steal Chandler away from Monica if given the chance...and fight off all the Mondler lovers with glee!

Chandler groaned.

He felt like he had gone twelve matches with a boxing kangaroo and came out on the bottom.

Why did he hurt so much? He hadn't drank much the night before….had he?

Monica would have killed him if he had…had he?

Yes.

It seemed likely, Chandler thought in annoyance. It had been Monica's big work...

What had it been? Shindig? Party? Or just an excuse to drink a lot of alcohol?

Chandler knew it had been something important, something that Monica had been extremely nervous about. Something that was incredibly important to her. Something that could have greatly helped her career. And something that Chandler had no doubt ruined for her.

Chandler groaned again.

He was a horrible boyfriend.

Ruining Monica's big night like that? Making a fool out of both himself and her by drinking too much?

He had an honest excuse though, he remembered that clearly.

The party had sucked. Boring with a capital snooze, Chandler recalled.

Someone had to get drunk. Someone had to stir the party up a bit, to get it into third gear. Chandler had noticed that and, not wanting Monica's party to fail, had taken the responsibility under his wing.

He had been trying to help her, not ruin the party! Monica should have been grateful to him, trying to wake up the snooze fest that was her 'wonderful' party. She should have been kissing his feet right about now, taking care of the headache he now sported. The headache that he had received from the alcohol he had drank, trying to help her.

Was that all though?

The headache seemed to remind him of something else from last night.

Loudness, shrillness…Monica had told him off, and her voice had entered the realm that he never liked. The place where it became so high that only dogs could understand. She had been upset, she had been furious. She had hit him, Chandler remembered now. She had smacked him upside the head, which had fuelled his headache.

He couldn't remember what she had said, but he had distant recollections of her calling him a male repeatedly.

That didn't sound so bad.

Chandler was a male, it wasn't an insult.

Except it was. Chandler was a male. He was insensitive, rude, immature. His way of helping Monica out, while seeming like a good idea to him, had been ridiculous.

Monica should have thrown him in the river, Chandler thought miserably. He deserved the pounding in his head. He deserved her harsh words. He deserved the insistent prodding in his side…wait.

What the hell was that?

Chandler groaned yet again, desperately trying to move away from the touch. It was too early. He hurt too much. He was in too much trouble to wake up at that moment.

"Hey!"

The voice was loud, causing his head to throb even more. Chandler winced, cracking open an eyelid. Joey was staring down at him with an unidentifiable look on his face. Beyond his friend he could see Rosita and Stevie the TV.

Great.

He was in his old apartment.

Monica had kicked him out. He couldn't remember exactly why, but it couldn't have been good. And the hits just keep on coming, he thought sarcastically.

"Hey!" Joey repeated as Chandler closed his eye again.

"What!" Chandler snapped in annoyance, opening both eyes this time. He regretted using such a loud voice immediately, wincing once more.

"Don't 'what' me! What the hell do you think you are doing?"

"I was trying to sleep!" Chandler retorted. Joey raised an eyebrow.

"What? Here? You don't live here! Why are you here?"

"I don't really know! Now, if you will excuse me…" Chandler rolled over on the couch, closing his eyes once more. His head hurt and he was tired. He wanted to sleep.

Unfortunately, the poking began once more. Chandler scowled, and then rolled back over.

"What! Why are you doing this to me? Are you trying to annoy me? Why can't you just let me sleep?" he roared, not caring how it affected his pounding head. Joey was being a nuisance.

"Because this isn't your place! Now, if you don't leave in the next two minutes, I'm going to call the cops!"

Chandler stared at Joey's face in surprise. That seemed a bit harsh, didn't it? He knew he had upset Joey by moving out, and yelling at him just then probably didn't help, but the cops? That didn't seem right.

"Jesus Joe-" he began, but the look on Joey's face stopped him in his tracks.

"How do you know my name?" There was a long pause as the two friends stared at one another, identical looks of confusion on their faces. "Did we sleep together once?"

There was another long pause.

"What!" Chandler shook his head, trying to clear the fogginess that lingered. "Joey…Sarcasm to that degree just does not work…you gotta pick your moments, and this…this is not one of them! I'm tired, I'm hung-over and I'm pretty sure Monica is going to turn me into a eunuch, so if you don't mind…"

Chandler rolled back over and the poking once more resumed.

"I swear to God, if you do that one more time, I will eat your fingers," Chandler warned.

"Did we sleep together? Is that why you're here?"

Joey's ridiculous questions were starting to really bug Chandler, as was the incessant poking. He really was seconds away from biting Joey's fingers off, but thankfully the poking stopped.

"I'm sorry I don't remember you…I've slept with a lot of girls. But, hell, I'm sure I would remember you!"

"Joey, I'm sure I would remember sleeping with you too…it's not something I could easily forget," Chandler muttered, squeezing his eyes shut tightly.

"You got that right!" Joey said proudly. "But did we?"

Chandler let out an aggravated sigh, then rolled back over and stood up, glaring at Joey intensely.

"No Joey! We didn't! Now, would you just let me go back to sleep!"

As Chandler yelled, he noticed something odd. Joey had always been shorter then him, by at least two inches. But at that moment, Chandler barely came up to Joey's chin. He froze, panic setting in.

"Oh…oh my god! I've shrunk!" he shrieked after a moment, then froze once more. "And my voice has…its changed! Holy crap, Mon already euniched me!"

"What's a eunuch?" Joey wondered briefly. Chandler grabbed Joey's shirt, shaking him violently.

"It doesn't matter! Joey, you have to help me!" he screamed. Joey grabbed his hands and quickly pulled them off him, then took a step back.

"Okay…I'm going to call the cops…you just wait right there!"

"Joey, no!" Chandler wailed, once more clinging desperately to his friend. "You can't turn me in! I…I didn't do anything…I don't think! Come on man, you have to help me! I'm your best friend!"

Joey paused in his tracks, staring at Chandler with an odd look.

"My best friend's Chandler," he insisted. Chandler frowned.

"I know…I'm him." Chandler was beginning to wonder if he wasn't the only one who had been drinking the night before. "I mean…yeah, I've shrunk, but it's not like I've disappeared completely!"

Joey stared at him for a long while, studying his face intently. Chandler began to feel uncomfortable under the close scrutiny. Joey's face suddenly changed, and he gasped.

"Chandler?" he whispered.

"Yes! It's me!" Chandler exclaimed, clinging to Joey's shirt still.

"What the…how is this possible?"

"I don't know! I'm tiny!"

Joey let out a short laugh, eying him appreciatively.

"That's not the only thing you are, buddy."

"What do you mean?" Joey didn't answer, instead choosing to grab one of Chandler's hands. He lifted it up in front of them and Chandler gasped. His hand had shrunk, along with the rest of him, but that wasn't the only thing that had changed. The skin had smoothed out, becoming softer and more delicate. The nails, once dirty and bitten, were now long and painted a deep red.

Chandler pulled the hand away from Joey, staring at it closely. It must have been a hell of a party, he thought stupidly. First they shrink me, then Monica turned me into a eunuch, then they moisturised his hands and stuck fake nails on him. That was one hell of a party.

But that couldn't be right. Monica didn't have access to a shrinking ray. No one outside of Sci Fi television did…not that he knew anyway. There must have been another explanation for this.

Chandler suddenly became aware of another thing. His head felt heavier, and not only because of the alcohol. Slowly, he lifted his shaking hand up, and felt his hair.

Long.

It was incredibly long and thick.

Chandler's hand dropped quickly, his breath coming out in short gasps. He had a bad feeling about this.

Slowly, he glanced down at his body. Beneath his now baggy clothes, he could see two lumps on his chests. Breasts.

He had grown boobies?

Chandler looked back up, staring at Joey in horror. Joey stared back at him, and then continued staring as Chandler dropped wordlessly to the floor.

He kneeled down next to his friend – the friend he had only recognised because of his blue eyes – and poked him once more.

Nothing.

Chandler didn't move, didn't yell and most defiantly didn't follow through with his promise of eating his fingers. He…well, she was out cold.

Joey leaned back, unsure of what to do.

His best friend was a girl.

A very hot girl, not that it mattered.

His best friend had turned into a girl.

Joey frowned.

This was something completely different.