The crowd was silent, looking at him. Not bowing. He struggled to maintain his mask of dominance; until from behind, the clearing of a throat summoned his attention. He turned to find himself looking at Shrek.
"You need to work on your aim," Shrek said, pulling the sword out from between his body and his arm. Then, with one hand, he lifted Prince Charming into the air.
"This was supposed to be my happily ever after!" Prince Charming yelled.
"Well, I guess you better keep looking. 'Cuz I'm not givin' up mine," Shrek answered, oblivious completely to the absolute fury running thick in the prince's veins. He had him mistaken for a jealous brat. Shrek pushed him across the stage and suddenly there was an ominous creak. Prince Charming turned to see the tower falling toward him.
"Mummy?" Prince Charming asked breathlessly, just before the tower collapsed on him.
Then there was silence. Breathing hard, he opened his eyes. All around him, there was only blackness, and he could hear the echo of his own breaths. From the other side of the tower, he could hear Shrek speaking to Arthur. "It's yours if you want it, you know. But this time it's your choice."
And then, applause, as the immature adolescent claimed the crown and kingdom that was supposed to belong to Prince Charming! They approved of this atrocity?
"No, no! Get off me! Get off." He pushed against the wall of the tower, but it did not budge. "No! I promised Mother! I'm king!"
But the tower greatly outweighed him. Realizing he was well and truly stuck, he sat on the stage floor and leaned against the inside of the prop's wall, sighing in frustration. Somebody will eventually find me, he thought. Somebody would have to clear the stage eventually. He told himself this until sleep claimed him.
When he awoke it was to near voices. He quickly stood, banging his fists on the prop. "Hey! Get me out of here!"
"Pookie?"
"Rapunzel!" he yelled, as loudly as he could. "Get me out of here!"
"Pookie! Oh no. Guys, get this tower off him!"
Prince Charming knelt, covering his head with both arms. Seconds turned into minutes; and suddenly with a great rumbling noise, daylight and fresh air met his senses. He opened his eyes slowly, allowing them to adjust to the change. He stood and was immediately ambushed by Rapunzel, who hugged him tightly and kissed him. "Oh, Charming! I thought I'd lost you for good!"
"So that prepubescent child has taken my place?"
"Yes."
"And you didn't stop him?"
"Stop him? Charming, love, I couldn't. Every person in that crowd was cheering for him. If I had tried anything, they would have locked me up. No good would have come from it and you would still be under the prop."
Charming wiped the sweat off his forehead. "Turn off the lights!" he commanded, and the stage went quickly dark. The only light that came in was from the windows, and he felt himself immediately begin to cool off. "Come on," he said, snatching Rapunzel's hand within his. "I won't allow this." He led her offstage and away from the destruction that should have claimed his life.
-0-0-0-0-
The sun rose over the sapphire mountains, casting the sky in muted pastels. A pair of guards advanced across the moat, through the tunnel and around the spurting fountain to see the heap of silver armor laying in front of the kingdom doors; twinkling softly as it was caught in rays of sunlight.
"I knew we should have given Barney the day shift," one of the guards grumbled. The other nodded, his helmet squeaking. They advanced upon him and as they climbed up the steps, they realized he was laying in a puddle of his own blood. Both guards stopped, looking at him in open shock.
"Get her royal Highness," the other guard commanded, and without another thought in his head the first guard ran into the kingdom, slowing to a stop when he saw the royal family in chains. Prince Charming was holding the end, a long dagger in his other hand. The sword was painted red.
"Ch-Charming," the guard managed.
"That's Prince Charming, to you," he answered huffily. "But not for long." He jerked on the chains, causing the ogres, King Harold and Queen Lillian to stumble. "Move out of my way and I will spare you. But only if you're worthy."
The guard stepped off to the side and Prince Charming began to pull his captives toward the door.
"Where are ye takin' us?" Shrek demanded.
"No questions, beast. I have long awaited this day, and I will not have you tarnish it. Further annoy me and I shall slay your pregnant wife and make you watch - and then I shall kill you."
Shackled by love and fear, the four prisoners remained silent.
Rapunzel stood outside, holding Puss by the scruff of his neck. Donkey stood beside her, his mouth forced shut with a muzzle. Around his neck he wore a chain, to which was secured the chain Rapunzel held.
"Excellent. Thank you, love," Prince Charming said, in the haughty, stuck-up voice that never failed to send a shiver of dread down Shrek's spine. "Lock the cat away and sentence the mule to hard labor."
"Yes, King Charming," she answered nonchalantly, but there was a flirty look in her eyes.
Prince Charming smiled indulgently and halted in front of the carriage, which was a dark color and had no windows. "Get in," he commanded, and the ogres and Queen Lillian meekly complied. "Very wise to obey the new king of Far Far Away. I might just allow you to give birth." He looked at a guard. "Well? The door won't close itself."
The guard pulled the carriage door shut as Prince Charming strode to the head of the carriage. He boarded, sitting on the bench; and his hulking bodyguards sandwiched him. "To the tower," he commanded, and the bodyguards seized the reins and mindlessly did their new king's bidding.
Just over an hour later the stagecoach pulled to a stop before the tower. "Uh, sire, there's no bridge," one of the bodyguards reminded him.
"I can see that!" Prince Charming snapped. "There is a solution to every problem, Gordon. Observe." He shoved his shoulder. "Move," he added, and Gordon jumped to the ground. Dropping to his feet, Prince Charming approached the edge of the chasm. Taking out his mother's magic wand he chanted: "A bridge was here once - mend its loss. Build a bridge for us to cross!"
A thick stream of power shot from the wand and moved quickly over the pool of lava, from his side of the precipice to the other. When the glow disappeared a straight, sturdy bridge was left in its wake.
Prince Charming tucked his mother's wand back into his pocket as the bodyguards pushed Prince Charming's prisoners across the bridge toward the tower. Upon reaching the other side, they snapped off the chains, letting the handcuffs fall noisily to the stone. When Shrek moved menacingly toward the bodyguards, they ran onto the bridge, which started to glow. The bridge began disappearing behind the guards' moving feet; and they safely reached the other end.
"Now, it's a happily ever after!" Prince Charming decreed. He and his men boarded the stagecoach and began the journey home.
(SIX MONTHS LATER)
Shrek picked up his new son and lay him on Fiona's old bed, beside his newborn sisters. It had been turned into a decent crib, but the tower had not been built with babies in mind - the crib had no walls. The edges were open to the hard stone; and Shrek, Fiona, and Fiona's parents had gotten into the habit of taking shifts, watching over the babies.
"I wonder how Donkey and Puss are doin'," Shrek murmured, staring out the little window.
"Oh, Shrek. I miss them so..." Fiona murmured, gazing at her beautiful children. "Will we ever see them again?"
"I doubt it," he muttered.
Fiona's lip quivered. Unable to look at their sweetness any longer, she buried her head into his chest and poured out her grieving heart in the form of endless tears.
