A/N: Established relationship, either still in late high school or the summer after graduation. AU, humor. Inspired by the Klaine Advent Drabble prompt 'balance'.
"Now, extend your arms over your head…" the singsong voice of their yoga instructor calls lightly over the airy music in the studio, "and bend your back gently into a crescent moon…"
"How..." Sebastian starts, almost out of breath.
"Did you let me talk you into joining a yoga class?" Kurt finishes, sliding smoothly from his crescent moon position into the next forward bend. "That's easy. You'll do anything for a blow job."
"Brace your hands on the mat in front of you," the teacher instructs, "and extend one leg back to a half downward dog."
"I refuse to believe that I'm that simple-minded," Sebastian grouses, concentrating on stabilizing his hips before he extends his leg.
"Well, I promised you that bj after this class and you're still here," Kurt says, his face breaking into only a slight smirk. "You draw your own conclusions."
Sebastian wobbles on the one leg he's balancing on, but his foot rolls and he's forced to put the other down to support him. He tries again…and again…but Sebastian doesn't successfully execute a half downward dog before they are changing positions again.
Kurt rotates up on one leg and transitions into a perfect tree pose. He opens an eyelid and peeks at his boyfriend, taking in a deep breath through his nose to school his face into a serene mask of meditation so he doesn't laugh out loud and disrupt the class more than Sebastian's fumbling through the stances already has.
"Maybe it's because I'm so tall that I'm not getting it," Sebastian says, transitioning into an unsteady tree.
Kurt turns his head and looks at Sebastian, meeting him eye-to-eye.
"Sometimes," their yoga instructor says as she makes the rounds, correcting the posture of the needier students (she has already been to help Sebastian five times during this one-hour lesson), "it is not the balance outside that is needed, but inside…" She puts a hand to Sebastian's back, and one to his stomach, pushing together to force him straight. "The anxiety in your life, the stress, all of your regrets, they settle here in your core." She pats Sebastian on the stomach and he teeters dangerously in Kurt's direction. The instructor shakes her head and sets Sebastian straight again. "These negative influences roll around and throw you out-of-whack, but yoga and meditation will set you right again." She gives the two boys a smile and then continues on her way.
"See," Kurt says, "maybe this problem you're having is all about your past catching up to you."
"I regret nothing," Sebastian says, his body going rigid as he tries to maintain his corrected tree pose. "Besides, if that's the case, then you should mondo-suck at this. I mean, after your tragic style choices, your fucking Blaine, choosing New Directions and that lame ass public school over Dalton and the Warblers - your life should be full of regrets."
Kurt clamps his teeth together loudly, biting back a dozen vitriolic remarks in order to maintain his current state of peace and tranquility. Sebastian snickers at Kurt's reaction, dropping his hip and his shoulder, causing him to rock again on the outside edge of his foot.
Kurt takes a deep breath and tries to relax his clenched teeth. A bigger man would rise above petty revenge, Kurt reminds himself, focusing on his own withering tree pose. He simply needs to be the bigger man.
If he does something rash, he might regret it.
As Kurt transitions to another pose, he hears Sebastian chuckle again.
Kurt takes another deep, cleansing breath, and without opening his eyes, he reaches out an arm and gives Sebastian a hard shove.
The only regrets Kurt has are the three other students Sebastian takes out as he falls.