I recently discovered this manga and thought, 'Wow! A yuri manga that develops the romance from friends to lovers in a completely natural and cute way! In short I loved it! xD (only downside being there's usually at least a month between Chapters *sob*).
Disclaimer: I don't own Girlfriends, and even if I did I'm not sure I could do a better job.
AkkoxMari forever though! Their love is truly inspiring =D
Tears of Love
I'm flat on the bed with the cover over my head wishing I was anywhere but madly in love. My best friend, the love of my life, has seen me act like an idiot and faint. If that wasn't bad enough she saw me naked! And then dried me down, put on my pj's and tucked me into bed...like a best friend or a mother. Recently though I've come to realise that I want our relationship to be so much more than best friends. I hope its not too late. That my confusion and withdrawal so long ago when she confessed her own love hasn't rendered mine pointless now...I hope so much...
Back then we were the best of friends. I adored her. But I'd never thought of anything beyond a strong girly friendship. I mean eventually we'd get boyfriends...although, to be honest, that thought hardly filled me with glee after what happened with him and I hadn't seen any guys that particularly inspired my trust since. I was a rotten friend though...cos' I completely missed her feelings for me. Those words I spoke to her that night! Oh how painful and mocking they sound now...
"Mari is so cute and her personality is so great! If I were a guy I'd fall head over heels for you!"
I mean I was only trying to encourage her but for Mari those words must have been the hardest thing in the world to hear...I can't help but wince every time I play them back. To make it worse to have suddenly been kissed by her and to be the target of her affections was so unexpected that I avoided her for days afterwards. It was all too strange. I'd never even considered the possibility of being with a girl in that way. When Mari finally showed up pretending it was all a silly joke it was easier to believe her lie. Easier to go back to how things were. Mari with a boyfriend and I her best friend...or so I thought...
As usual I was hopelessly wrong. Last summer lost its colour and the days became empty strands of time with Mari away...but I kept blanking any idea of love and especially of that night...with the kiss... Why didn't I see that the 'accidental' kiss before when I was asleep wasn't more! Maybe that wouldn't have made much difference...
In the end it was the night when I found her in her yukata that made me realise how precious she was to me. I still refused to call it love but when she said she'd done it with him, supposedly 'like I had', I felt my stomach sink to the darkest depths. All I could do was to put on my all too cheerful face and say,
'I'm surprised but that's right Mari! Good for you!'
Ah well...I couldn't sleep much that night. I felt too sick. But I was glad Mari was safe. I wonder if she felt that sick when she found out about my encounter with that guy. Come to think of it I never did find out how she knew about that... Anyway after that night I became increasingly annoyed...well, looking back, jealous too with the guy she was dating. When he 'dumped' her I totally lost it and ended up decrying him at the top of my voice...I couldn't help it! He'd hurt Mari! He'd dumped Mari! He'd left her waiting all alone at the station! How on earth could someone, anyone, do that! And without speaking to her! Still I tried to believe the lie that Mari was my friend and nothing more. That the irrational hatred of her boyfriend and the agonised feeling of losing her were merely those of losing a normal best friend.
A part of me has always played the protective role with Mari. She was the cute, innocent girl that I helped flower and bloom...but when she dumped her boyfriend and plucked up the courage to tell me her true feelings it felt that the roles had reversed and that she was the one who was acting the stronger: I was the one not wanting to open up uncomfortable memories and not wanting to bring back the pain that kiss had caused...but as she spoke, stammered and apologised I realised that not only were her thoughts natural and reasonable but they were no different to my own: I couldn't be sure that I didn't feel that way about her and given my desire to have her back I couldn't be sure I didn't love her...Yet she was embarrassed at causing me trouble! She felt herself to be disgusting! Hah! As if that could ever be the case!
Her strength to confess her true feelings whipped away the blindfold over mine. I wouldn't say in that moment, in the karaoke room, I fell in love with her...more that the possibility of loving her became open to my mind and sealed with a kiss.
Since that soft kiss and the words on the training ground that made my heart skip faster and long to draw her close I've found myself wanting to go out to places with her, to be around her and to spend as much time as possible with her...She must have felt this way before...long ago...so maybe its right that I suffer now as punishment?
What I can't deny is that I love her. I want to be her lover and not just her friend...but now, all the time, she's been acting firmly as my model friend and nothing more. Did I miss something? Is it too late now that I rejected her once? Please no! Does she think I'm the one not wanting us to go beyond friendship, despite the kiss, in which case I need to tell her...as I should have done weeks ago...but I just can't seem to find the time or strength to...what if I never do?
"Akko, are you all right? I just finished up at the meeting for the team leaders and came to check." Her voice. Sweet and soft as butter...I'm melting inside even as I panic and rub the forming tears from my eyes. I sit up quickly with a cheery smile to see Mari standing there in her night-gown.
"Hey Mari!" I exclaim too brightly. I think she's seen my rimmed eyes, too, because she frowns.
"Are you sure? You've been acting kinda strangely for a while Akko...especially today in the bathhouse...is everything okay?"
She sits herself down on the edge of the bed and I scan the room for anyone else. There's no one. Mari was brave. I must be too. I manage to make eye contact, but my face feels like its going to explode as blood starts pumping round it in response to my accelerating heart. My fingers drum the bed beneath the sheets nervously,
"Actually..."
...Ah, what to say next?...Just speak the truth! Honesty is the least she deserves...I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. Then with my hands clenching beneath the sheets I take the plunge.
"I...I'm in love with you Mari..."
I've said it, finally! Her eyes, such a beautiful charcoal gray, widen in...shock? Surprise? Wonder? Or is it rejection? Too late to go back now...My left hand strays to my hair which it runs through nervously. What if she doesn't believe me though or thinks I mean 'like' not love? I need to be sure she understands...
"I mean...I'm finding it hard to well; not to want to kiss you, or hug you, or touch you..."
Arrgh! Now I sound like a complete pervert. I force my left hand to stop messing with my hair and stick it to the floor whilst my right is trembling more than a plate of terrified jelly.
"... It's not like I think about it all the time or whatever...but...but... "
My face feels so hot... and I find myself glancing down at the plain cotton blankets. This must be what Mari felt like that time when she confessed in the karaoke room...C'mon find someway of concluding...
"...but I totally understand if you don't want someone like me as a lover Mari. I'm really stupid and I rejected and hurt you before. I probably don't deserve a second chance...but I have to try because...I'm not sure how I could live in a world without you..."
I'm babbling like an idiot in...well I am in love. I glance up to see tears glistening in Mari's eyes. Is it too late? I bite my lower left lip in consternation. Then suddenly Mari's crawled across the bed and her face is over mine. A tear drips down onto my cheek.
"Mari?" I whisper...finally daring to hope. Then her mouth lowers and wordlessly we kiss. This kiss is different. Not a soft tap but a deep press. It starts slowly and builds up to a triumphant finale as our arms wrap about each others backs. Our tongues' brush gently but its the warmth and length that make it so special. When we pull apart I'm left flushed and deliriously happy. I manage to gasp.
"You still love me Mari! I'm so happy!" She gives me a curious look.
"Whatever made you think I didn't?"
"Well in recent weeks you've acted purely as a friend since the kiss...I...I was worried you'd decided I wasn't worth loving."
"Silly!" Mari says as she slips from the bed. "I thought you were being kind with the kiss before. I'd steeled myself not to speak of loving you again because I thought that's what you wanted..." Her loving gaze totally melts my heart and her eyes are framed with glistening tears. "But I'm so, so glad it isn't...You know happiness can bring you next to tears as well," Mari says.
I do know. There's no other way to explain the fresh streams rolling down my cheeks.