The 4am blue

by dragondaysareover

She called it 'the 4am blue', time in which light illuminated enough to distinguish the silhouettes of things, but not their color. The same light that fell over their faces that dawn in which, for the first time, it was Quinn who hurt her. One-shot

Walking through the deserted city, while the sun wakes up at unimaginable hours and the sky turns a different blue. She loved that blue. She love stepping on big squares and watch that blue bathing every building with its distinct shade. Although her favorite color was red, that blue conveyed a great feeling of security and freedom. She called it 'the 4am blue', time in which light illuminated enough to distinguish the silhouettes of things, but not their color. The same light that fell over their faces that dawn in which, for the first time, it was Quinn who hurt her; that dawn in which she was a witness of how her heart was stabbed. Although their relationship was based on sex, one of them always ended up hurting the other. And it was always Rachel who hurt Quinn. There was hardly a day when they didn't fight over any kind of comment taken out of context. They weren't a couple, so neither of them felt the right to demand anything from the other. Nevertheless, it was getting more and more difficult to stay passive in view of what was happening to them. And every day some unfortunate word from Rachel got stuck into Quinn, and she would always swallow her pride. And just as they hadn't the right to demand, they didn't have the obligation to apologize.

It was sort of an implicit arrangement they both had agreed on. They continued their routine and saw each other at early morning at Quinn's apartment, when Rachel used to go for a walk through the almost deserted city and knew there was no need to inform Quinn to see her.

The day Quinn really hurt her, they had been out for some drinks and ended up having an argument when Rachel told her about a workmate she had laid her eyes on. Rachel was startled seeing Quinn lose her temper as she was the quiet and tranquil one of them. But it was her accusation that caught her off guard.

'Then go with her. It's clear you have no idea what you want and you have to drag everyone who gets in your way. What are you expecting to accomplish? Stability? Security? Well, I must tell you that you're doing awfully wrong. And if what you expect is to have fun, then this must be a fucking circus for you.'

After this, she left, covered by the blue light of dawn.

That morning, Rachel sat on a bench in a park near the place they had fought and cried. She cried because she knew deep inside she was right; because the only stability she had was spending dawns with her and she was turning it into a humorless joke. She cried and without noticing, she felt asleep.

Almost a week had gone by since that incident and Rachel found it weird not seeing Quinn for so long. They used to meet at Quinn's apartment, as she was living alone and she used to be awake during the nights, studying until Rachel would come. Despite having a quarrel, the very next day they forgot and pretended nothing happened and saw each other once again.

Although it was a fight like any other, the fact that it was Quinn who said the hurting words and they hadn't seen each other ever since, made it different. Nonetheless, her feet took her to her apartment, knowing she would be there, among books and papers and her laptop.

She rang the doorbell and after a few seconds, the door opened and Quinn appeared in a white and grey pajama, her hair tied up in a disheveled bun. She licked her lips and smiled

'Hey'

'Hey' Rachel smiled back and Quinn let her in.

She took off the jacket and hung it on the coat rack of the entrance. She went near the table where Quinn worked. Her house was sort of a little attic-loft apartment. The living room, which was also part of the kitchen, was separated from the room by a small wall, which served as a book shelf and counter, and her bed was placed below a big window with views to the hidden streets of her quarter.

'You want something?' Quinn asked while Rachel took seat 'I haven't made any coffee yet, so I don't have anything warm to offer'

Rachel shook her head, smiling lightly

'I'm fine, thanks. Just some water if it's not a problem'

Quinn nodded and took a jug and a glass and placed them on the table, resuming her work. Rachel poured some water and begun drinking.

'Another night walk?' Quinn asked, quirking up the corner of her mouth to form a quiet smile. Rachel laughed and smiled back

'I think I've woken up my flat mate. She must think I'm crazy' she stated in a chuckle

'I don't think you're crazy' she replied absently, still looking at her laptop. She then turned her gaze up and met her brown eyes and smiled 'I think you're just free'

Rachel frowned, surprised by her affirmation and smiled

'How's that?'

'Well, you've freely decided that you'd rather go for walks at night, without caring that people think you're crazy'

Rachel smiled and ducked her head down in embarrassment. Quinn focused again on her laptop.

'How's it going?' Rachel asked 'Looks like you have lots to study'

'Actually, I'm working on an essay about a seminar I've attended.'

'It still surprises me how you manage to make time for everything' Rachel stated with admiration

'Me too' Quinn giggled

Rachel took a sip from her glass and put it back on the table.

'And… what about you?' Quinn asked 'I didn't expect you today, If I'm honest'

'Why?' Rachel asked her with curiosity

'You work tomorrow, right?'

'I don't' Rachel shook her head and Quinn looked at her with surprise

'Are you fired?'

'No' the brunette replied quickly 'It's not that. They have to rewrite some scenes and compose new songs. They're gonna change some of the numbers and while they make these new arrangements we've been given the week off. Or at least until they call us'

'But… is it serious?' Quinn frowned 'You look worried'

Rachel leaned her elbow on the table and rested her head on her hand

'Don't worry, these things happened. It's quite normal' Quinn was still looking at her with concern 'It's just that, if the new changes are not satisfying enough and we don't get new producers, the show will probably be cancelled' she paused herself for a moment 'and then we'll be fire' she chuckled and sighed, taking her gaze away from the blonde.

'Everything will be fine. You'll see' she replied with a smile.

Rachel smiled back and for a few moments, they remained silent. Quinn focused on her work once again. All of a sudden, Rachel had a feeling of unease within her. She felt she was wasting Quinn's time and hadn't the right to.

'I think I should get going' said Rachel, standing up, barely looking at the blonde.

Quinn stared at her, in shock, while the brunette walked towards the door to get her jacket. She quickly stood up and reached out for her.

'Hey…' Quinn held her hand gently 'Why do you wanna leave?' she asked quietly

'I don't want to bother you, Quinn' she replied, ducking her head down 'I came without even letting you know, and…' she paused herself, looking at the table where they were sitting moments ago 'and you have stuff to do and I'm just here disturbing you' her voice got muffled.

Quinn grabbed her other hand and laugh lightly to calm her.

'Don't be silly. It was never necessary for you to inform me you were coming' she looked at her, waiting for her to look back into her eyes 'You've always been welcome' after hearing that, Rachel locked her eyes on Quinn's, at last. The blonde brushed gently her bangs 'You don't disturb. I like having you around.'

Rachel let out a soft chuckle, relieved and turned her gaze back to her eyes, in which she could see honesty.

'I don't know what's wrong with you today' Quinn went on 'You're like distracted, I don't know, like… worried…' she finished, tucking her hair behind her ear.

'I told you what happened at work…' Rachel replied absently and Quinn shook slightly her head

'It's something else…' she looked straight into her eyes but noticed her uneasiness and didn't want to push her 'Don't leave' it was barely a whisper but it made Rachel smile. She lightly squeezed her hand and took her back to the table.

They sat back down and Rachel took a look at the books on the table, while Quinn kept paying attention to her laptop. After a while, Quinn said:

'Rachel…' she waited until she looked attentively at her 'I'm sorry about what happened the other day…' she bit her lip, ashamed 'I shou-'

'No, Quinn' Rachel interrupted, shaking her head 'You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who always says or does something wrong and you always put up with me' she said, staring at her, sadness invading her for a while 'It's not fair… and I am really sorry' she sighed as if she had taken a weight off her mind and noticed how Quinn's shoulders relaxed.

'It's okay, Rachel. Don't worry' she replied with a smile that put her at ease.

Quinn stood up and headed for the kitchen to get some more water.

'Are you sure you don't want anything?' she insisted, but Rachel laughed and declined the offer

Quinn sat down and resumed her work, flicking through the books on the table and taking some notes in a sheet of paper.

'What was the seminar you attended about?' Rachel asked with curiosity

'About the vast literary production of this time. The guy was amazing' she said with a smile on her face 'You should've seen him' Rachel laughed, happily 'We have to write an essay about the seminar, with a critic commentary, personal contributions, etc.' Quinn went on, while Rachel was looking at her, smiling 'I'm writing about how, despite having a vast literary production, it's difficult to write true classics like back in the days.'

'Sounds awesome' replied Rachel, with a huge smile

'I'm also comparing literature with other artistic fields, like music and film'

'If you want to compare it with musicals, I could help you' Rachel offered, laughing

'It could be a good idea' Quinn replied, also laughing

After a few moments, Rachel noticed Quinn's earphones were plugged in the laptop.

'Were you listening to music?' she asked, pointing at the earphones. Quinn nodded, with a little smile 'Unplug them and turn the music back on. Don't worry about me' Rachel suggested

'I'm not worried about you' Quinn replied 'I'm worried about the neighbors. They're not night animals like you' she said with a teasing smirk.

'Free' she pointed, laughing 'night animal'

They both laughed. After a moment, Quinn unplugged the earphones and looked at Rachel

'Okay. But only if you dance with me'

Rachel smiled and nodded. Quinn clicked a couple of times and stood up. A piano started to sound, a slow melody. Quinn held out her hand to Rachel, looking at her eyes. The brunette grabbed it and stood up, smiling shyly. They headed slowly towards their own little dance floor, away from the table where there was more space, while some guitar chords joined the melody and the words begun to soak her up.

Feeling tired

By the fire

The long day is over

Quinn placed Rachel's hand on her waist, and with her own hand she held her by the back and grabbed the brunette's free hand gently.

The wind is gone

Asleep at dawn

The embers burn on

A feeling of sadness and melancholy filled Rachel while she listened to the music that surrounded them and, not being able to keep eye contact with Quinn, she rested her head on her chest, letting out a deep sigh.

Quinn brushed the back of Rachel's hand with her thumb and held her more tightly. They swayed slowly, their steps barely a hypnotic movement. The music got mingled with the scent of Rachel's hair, which in some way calmed Quinn.

Rachel was still resting her head on her chest and she was looking through the window. The dim blue light contrasted with the warmth of the lamp light, the music caressing her ears and Quinn's body closer than ever, although she had had it below her and between her hands before. Despite having traced it with her lips so many times, it was the first time she felt it so close to her.

She closed her eyes to avoid looking through the window and held her tightly as if she was afraid she would slide through her fingers. Quinn mimicked her and pecked her on the forehead, barely brushing her lips, but enough to make Rachel sigh.

Rachel tilted her head back and traced her hand through Quinn's torso, caressing her collarbone slowly until she placed her arm around her neck, doing the same with her other arm and burying her face in her neck.

Quinn held her tightly by the waist, caressing her spine with her fingers, her nose and lips brushing softly Rachel's profile, which made the brunette breathe deeply and swallow.

With no reprise

The sun will rise

The long day is over

After a few moments, absorbed in the warmth of their breaths, Rachel moved her face apart Quinn's neck and looked at her in the eyes, her hand cupping her cheek and caressing it with her thumb, before slowly joining their lips together. The kiss grew more passionate; their breaths got mixed up and got confused into the space they barely left between their lips

Quinn ran her hands clumsily through Rachel's body. The brunette let out labored breaths when the blonde's hands brushed her skin under her t-shirt. Quinn rolled it up and took it off of Rachel, letting it fall on the floor, while she kept caressing her naked skin and kissing her. Rachel slid her hands under the blonde's tee until she reached her breast, paying attention to the moan Quinn let out, and taking the pajama's t-shirt off too. She remained staring at the nakedness of Quinn's body, caressing softly her torso and abs, while the blonde carefully unclasped her bra. They looked at each other for a while, in which Quinn brushed softly her lips with her fingers. She could see that Rachel's pupils were blown. In the darkness, pupils dilate to capture as much light as possible, and in that moment, Rachel had the feeling that Quinn's eyes exuded a different light she hadn't seen before and she frightened at the thought of her eyes being two suns that would disappeared at night. She closed her own eyes, overwhelmed by fear, and seconds later she felt Quinn's hands cupping her face, caressing her cheeks and kissing her sweetly.

Quinn unbuttoned her jeans and let them slip down her legs, while Rachel mimicked her and took off her trousers. Quinn kissed her breasts, licking her nipples with desire, hearing Rachel moaning lightly. The blonde held her, an arm below her ass and the other by her waist and lifted her, taking her to the bed. Once on the bed, she laid her down and started kissing her, tracing every inch of her body with her lips and her tongue, sensing how Rachel jerked with every touch and held her tightly, almost sticking her nails into the blonde's back.

Quinn kissed down her belly open-mouthedly, reaching her center. She nuzzled over, barely brushing with her nose and her lips. Rachel jerked up her hips, feeling her breath against her, seeking for contact. The blonde pecked her, which made Rachel rock her hips more instinctively. She finally licked her folds, and caught her swollen clit between her lips, sucking and licking it with desire. Rachel fisted the blonde's air, not able to stop her rocking hips and letting out moans that grew louder and louder. She felt Quinn's fingers stimulating her entrance, while her mouth was still working her clit.

'Please...' she begged

She thrust her fingers to the knuckles, which made Rachel squeal, and kept them there for a while. The brunette started rocking, frustrated at the stillness of the blonde. Quinn began dragging in and out, meeting Rachel's thrusts, feeling her walls clenching and swallowing her fingers. She caught her clit with her mouth once again and traced her tongue around it, making Rachel squirm and moan noisily, finally releasing her tension.

Quinn let her clit go, but her fingers were still inside. She pecked her folds and her pink skin, and after a few moments she pulled her fingers out. Rachel tried to gasp for air, while Quinn crawled over her, kissing her way up, stopping on her breasts. Light moans could be heard after every kiss. The blonde settled between Rachel's legs and leaned over her, kissing her neck with passion. She looked down at her and licked her lips. Rachel cupped her cheeks and kissed her. Quinn started rocking her hips unconsciously, when she felt Rachel's hand running down her back to cup her ass cheek. The brunette grabbed it tightly and pulled her in fiercely, mimicking Quinn's thrusts. The blonde broke the kiss and trailed her jaw, reaching her earlobe, sucking and licking it, her thrusts never stopping.

Rachel ran her hand to Quinn's front, making her way down, between the blonde's legs. She cupped her and rubbed her fingers up and down her folds, hearing Quinn moan against her ear. She traced circles around her clit, speeding up the rhythm. She did that for a while, while Quinn begged her for more. She cupped her cheek with her free hand and looked at her. She saw her hazel eyes begging with desire, her pupils blown and her mouth slightly opened and panting. She stuck two fingers inside Quinn, who gasped, and made her way in and out, the blonde panting harder. She felt her clit more and more swollen and throbbing. When she was back inside, she curled her fingers and rubbed her clit with her thumb, which made Quinn shut her eyes in pleasure and started groaning uncontrollably. Rachel thrust faster getting Quinn to the edge and finally squirming and moaning out her orgasm.

Quinn collapsed on top of Rachel, trying to remember how to breathe, while Rachel managed to pull her fingers out of her. The brunette kissed her on her shoulder and neck, brushing her back with her hand.

Quinn rolled over beside Rachel, exhausted. Rachel looked at the ceiling, trying to catch some air, stilling her breathing. She could hear how Quinn was trying to catch her breath too and fill her lungs. A few moments passed after she calmed down, and Rachel turned around, facing Quinn, who turned her face to look at her. They didn't usually snuggle nor sleep over, but Rachel got closer and shut her eyes, trying to keep the proximity. After a few seconds, Rachel felt Quinn moving too, closer to her. Suddenly, she felt her hand on her shoulder.

'Rachel' said Quinn, while she caressed her arm gently. Rachel opened her eyes and replied with a small groan. 'If you don't want to go back to your house you can stay here' she offered, still caressing her arm.

'I don't know…' replied Rachel 'I think I'll rest a little and then we'll see…' she hesitated 'okay?'

'As you wish' Quinn replied, with a hint of disappointment in her voice

Rachel turned around once again and remained looking at the ceiling. Quinn mimicked her and when she let her arm fall on the bed, she grazed Rachel's hand. She hesitated for a while but let her arm there seeing the brunette didn't move it either. Rachel moved her hand carefully and turned it so as to intertwine her fingers with Quinn's, letting out a sigh when she finally made it.

'I like you, Quinn' Rachel let it go 'I really like you'

Quinn chuckled, skeptically

'I guess if you didn't like me you wouldn't be here' replied Quinn with a sarcastic voice

Rachel snorted and sat up, resting her arms on her knees. She looked at her over her shoulder

'You know what I mean'

Quinn's features stiffened more than they already were.

'I feel something for you, Quinn' Rachel went on, taking her gaze to the street, through the window 'Something strong…'

Rachel was focused looking through the window. The street was still empty and a light breeze swayed the leaves of the trees. The dim blue light was turning into the warm light of morning.

Quinn leaned on her elbow, her muscles a little bit more relaxed. Rachel sighed, her gaze wandering around the room.

'I'm tired of this dynamic. I'm tired of seeing you only in this light' she went on looking towards the window when she said that 'It's like we're bound to dawn…' she said barely in a whisper and ducked her head down, downhearted 'And despite everything, you're the only stability that I have and I don't wanna lose you'

Quinn sat up and got closer to her. She gave her a kiss on her shoulder and caressed softly her arm, feeling how it relaxed. Rachel lifted her head and looked at her with teary eyes. Quinn caressed her cheek with her thumb and interlaced her fingers with the hair on the back of her neck. Rachel shut her eyes at the feeling and swallowed.

'Do you really mean it?' Quinn asked once she opened her eyes. Rachel nodded and closed her eyes again, a tear rolling down.

Quinn let out a chuckle and kissed her 'At last' she laughed while she kissed her, making Rachel laugh too.

She kissed her intensely and held her as if she didn't want to let her go. Rachel laid her back down. Their lips never pulled apart, their hands never stopped touching each other and the warmth of their bodies got mingled, while the sun had already got out of its hiding place.