Disclaimer: I do not own the vampire diaries or any quotes used/modified. I do not own the songs mentioned, though I do recommend listening to Cheap and Cheerful by the Kills.
Stephanie falls off the wagon with a bit of help from Damon; circa 1912.
somebody that i used to know
"I want you to be crazy
'Cause you're boring baby when you're straight
I want you to be crazy
'Cause you're stupid baby when you're sane
I'm sick of social graces
Show your sharp tipped teeth
Lose your cool in public
Did the legal meet
'Cause love is just a dialogue
You can't survive on ice-cream."
-Cheap and Cheerful; the Kills
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Stephanie tugs at the hems of her long sleeved dress and twirls the parasol in her hands, to Damon's amusement. She's dressed properly for the event; a black dress and an appropriately sad expression. The grief in her is real, though Damon does not feel its keen sting that day; he'd mostly gone to the funeral with her for support and the fact that he was bored.
"I'm sorry for your loss, Miss Salvatore, Mister Salvatore."
Stephanie turns her head along with Damon to look at the two pretty dark haired women approaching them. They were dressed in conservative dresses much like Stephanie's own, but they were matching hats and carried different parasols.
"I'm told you two are distant cousins of Zachariah," The same woman continues.
Damon inclines his head, but Stephanie is the one to speak, "His niece and nephew, actually. Miss . . ."
"Lockwood," The speaker says, "Maryanne Lockwood. This is my friend, Samantha Gilbert."
"As in Jonathan Gilbert," Damon says with a twinkle in his eyes that belies his real feelings towards the now dead man.
"My late great grandfather," Samantha confirms, nodding her head. Her dark eyes search Damon and Stephanie's. "Did you know him?"
"We've crossed paths," Damon replied with a half-smile.
"I'm sorry," Stephanie interrupted quietly and the attention focused on her, "I don't mean to be inappropriate, but no one will discuss the details surrounding Zachariah's death." She trailed off a little and Maryanne looked away.
Samantha met her gaze strongly. "He was murdered. And he wasn't the first."
"Samantha," Maryanne hissed under her breath, "You shouldn't be discussing this with them."
"Why not?" Samantha snapped, "They're part of the Founding Families; they're like us and they deserve to know if they might be in danger."
Stephanie and Damon exchanged glances; Steph's worried and Damon's amused.
"Be careful, Miss and Mister Salvatore," Samantha told them gravely, "It is not a good time to be a Founder." The friends quickly turned and they walked away from the Salvatore's, speaking in quiet voices together.
"Have you been eating the Families?" Damon drawled as he turned his face down to Stephanie; only have joking with an arched brow.
"No," Stephanie scowled and pulled a piece of long brown hair behind her ear, "You know I'm not like that anymore. We're not . . . monsters," She lowered her voice.
Damon nodded, "Of course." Vampires they were, Damon couldn't find it in himself to relish in the feed. Stephanie tried to keep it to herself, but she could tell that Damon knew about some of her bloodlust. Of course, he didn't know the half of it, but Stephanie would rather it be kept under wraps.
"Do you want to get a drink?" Stephanie distracted him and she used a dainty hand to brush off dirt of Damon's shoulder.
"Sure," Damon grinned, his teeth bright in the darkening air. He took Stephanie's arm and they walked into the town and headed towards one of the bars with lower standards; a proper bar didn't much care of women drinking there, and Damon and Stephanie were hoping to have a good time.
They arrived at a bar and got a few bottles of bourbon and they set up camp outside of a noisy tent. They sat together and drank, but Damon went through two bottles of the alcohol by himself and Stephanie eyed him with worry.
"Maybe you ought to stop," She said.
"Kick a man while he's down," Damon rolled his eyes drunkenly but put the bourbon down in the hay. They stood, Damon only swaying a little, and they walked across the square in between people and horses in the now dark night.
Stephanie pushed aside the tent flap and her eyes widened. In the ring was a woman who was in her early to late thirties with long ginger hair in the boxing ring, beating a man.
Damon pushed forwards and Stephanie listened as the woman in the ring called out, "Another opponent! Anyone willing? One hundred dollars to any man who can beat me!" She met Damon's eye and winked at him. Stephanie eyed Damon and watched as he was floored at the attention.
"My sister would like a go!"
Stephanie looked around for the dimwitted idiot who would volunteer his own sister to go up against a fierce woman like that, only to see Damon grinning at her impishly. The red headed woman eyed her with disdain.
"A slip of a thing like you? Beat me?" She scoffed and Stephanie felt heat rush to her cheeks.
She turned to Damon and growled, "Hold my stuff." Stephanie took off her earrings, put them in her purse and handed it to a bemused Damon. She slipped off her shoes and then undid the clasps on the back of her dress, shedding it until she was standing in her tights and underdress.
She heard wolf whistling but ignored the men and climbed into the ring with the fierce redheaded woman.
"I won't go easy on you, sweetie," the ginger said not unkindly.
"Neither will I," Stephanie said with a false smile and she lunged as soon as the bell tolled. She pulled back her fist and hit the woman with half of her vampire strength, only to find that she was even more durable than Stephanie was.
Both women were surprised.
The woman grinned wolfishly. "This should be interesting."
And the fight turned real.
Stephanie knew little fighting techniques, but she fought with all she had; her spit fire attitude and her enhanced vampire strength. Unfortunately, this woman appeared to be stronger as she quickly got the upper hand on Stephanie, pinning her to the mat.
A referee quickly called the game, and Stephanie escaped the ring with a flushed face and a shamed heart. The red headed woman followed her though, and asked after Damon.
"What's your name?"
"Not interested," Damon waved her off and started to help Stephanie with her dress. She slipped it on over her head and Damon started doing the fixings on the back.
"Well, Mister Not Interested," The red head said, "you seem to be a gambling man."
"I'm afraid," Damon said and he tied off Stephanie's corset and handed her her earrings, which Stephanie took and put back in, "You have me all wrong." He offered Steph a hand and she took it, ready to go.
The red head took out a hundred dollar big and waved it a bit in front of Damon and Steph. She smirked and pulled the front of Damon's pants open and slipped the bill inside.
"Well, that's too bad," She murmured and brushed passed them.
Damon looked after her incredulously and Stephanie huffed, rolling her eyes. "She's ridiculous."
"She's kind of amazing," Damon sighed, "She's an amazing fighter." He turned back and grinned at Stephanie, who glowered.
"She beat me into a pulp after you volunteered me to fight her," Steph deadpanned. Damon only laughed and clapped Stephanie on the back gently.
"You had fun," Damon teased.
"No, I really didn't," Stephanie grouched and wiped off some blood from her mouth, spitting more onto the ground. Damon grimaced at that and offered a hankie, which Stephanie snatched from his pale, deft fingers and dabbed at her chin.
"Thanks," She murmured and wiped her mouth. "Let's get out of here."
They escaped the tent and started to head towards their temporary home, but Stephanie stopped when Damon froze, head following a human woman.
"I'm going to catch a bite to eat," He said distractedly, "You want to come with?"
Stephanie didn't debate it. "I've just got myself under control," She admitted painfully, "I'd rather not tempt fate, brother. I'll just meet you back at the Boarding House."
"Come on," He groaned.
"No, Damon," Stephanie said flatly.
He rolled his eyes. "Are you sure you'll be okay walking home then?"
Stephanie nodded. "Of course. I'm a vampire; I can fight off any man." She gave a half-smile and watched as Damon disappeared after the human and she headed back towards the Boarding House they were staying at. She walked across the square and saw a man heading in her direction. He was sleazy looking and drunk, swaying around dangerously. Stephanie deftly maneuvered around him, but one of his hands reached out and pinched her.
She snarled at the man, hoping to frighten him off and he'd forget when he woke up with a hangover, but he only chuckled. He wrapped a beefy hand around her arm and Stephanie used her other hand to break one of his fingers. He howled and grabbed onto her with his other hand and Stephanie felt a flash of anxiety. She brought up a knee and slammed it into the man's crotch and he went down, crying and shuddering.
Stephanie stepped over his prone body and started towards the Boarding House again, satisfied.
The next day was uneventful exempting the fact that Damon hadn't come home, but that was usual. She didn't see her brother again until the next evening, where he was on a buzz of human blood, smiling and laughing.
"Steph! Dear little sister," He called and cajoled Stephanie into a hug, "Come one, let's go back to the fighting ring tonight. You could give it another go." He wiggled his eyebrows.
Stephanie arched hers. "What's happened to you? You're exceptionally happy today, which is uncharacteristic of you."
"Can't I have a little fun sometimes?" Damon pouted and Stephanie sighed and rolled her eyes. They headed back to the fighting ring, though Stephanie swore up and down that she wasn't going to fight again. The red head was fighting another man, this one easily twice her size. He went down and the scent of his blood rose on the air, making Stephanie's muscles quiver.
"Go ahead, Steph, pick one," Damon whispered into Steph's ear.
"They're people," Stephanie said firmly, "and I don't want to hurt anyone."
"They are people," Damon said quietly, "They're people with blood pumping through their veins and waiting to be opened up and sucked dry. You've just forgotten how good it feels. So had I, but Sage, she reminded me that it's worth it. It's all worth it."
"Was that where you were last night? With that trollop?" Stephanie arched an eyebrow, but felt herself drawn towards the blood in any case.
"Her name's Sage, but yes," Damon said and the murmured, "Come on, Stephanie."
She took a step towards the bleeding man in the ring, only to feel Damon beside her, crooning, "Not him, Stephanie, not him." He nodded his head towards a man across the ring, one of the only ones pretending to not be engrossed in the fight. His straw colored hair was plastered to his forehead, but he was an attractive man. "Him."
"I don't do that anymore," Stephanie whispered with difficulty.
"But you can," Damon murmured, "We can. Let the past be the past; you can control yourself. Have a drink with me, sister." He clapped a hand onto Stephanie's shoulder and her resolve wore thin as the blood pumped in her ears.
Stephanie weaved her way through the crowd with Damon at a short distance behind her and cajoled the man into going out back with her. Damon met her behind the tent, where Steph compelled the human man to be quiet and still. She bent over his neck and sank her fangs into the tender tissue.
She barely heard Damon.
"I knew you still had it in you," He was murmuring as he drew closer. "Don't be greedy, come on, sister." He put a hand on the man's shoulder, but Stephanie swiftly pushed Damon away.
He frowned. "Stephanie," He hissed but when she did nothing but ravage the man's neck, hissed more sharply, "Stephanie!"
Stephanie lifted her head and hissed at the pleasure of drinking human blood again, throwing her head back before she dove back towards him. There was a snap and she dropped the body while the head went rolling backwards across the grass.
She froze, stepping back. Damon watched her with wide, perplexed eyes.
"Oh my God," Stephanie whispered, hair wild and blood dripping off her face as she staggered, "Oh my God." Horrified at herself, she fell to her knees in front of the body and grabbed the head and shoved it back onto the man's neck.
"I'm sorry," She whispered, "I'm so, so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so, so, so sorry." Stephanie felt Damon's hands on her shoulder and she pushed him back, screaming, "What did you do to me?"
"Stephanie," Damon gasped.
"What did you do to me?" Steph repeated softly. She looked back at the body and caressed its face. "What did I do? What did I do?" She repeated over and over, whispering it like a mantra.
"You just need to learn how to control it," Damon assured her shakily, reaching out a hand again. Stephanie stood, backing up warily and slowly. "I can help you."
"I don't want your help," Stephanie snarled and shoved Damon back as she stumbled backwards. Bloodied mouth and dress, Stephanie flashed away, leaving her brother behind in disarray. The blood was still pumping in her ears and the guilt was eating her alive.
"Why does this hurt so damn much?" She screamed to the sky and she shoved her hands through her dark curled hair. She sank to the ground tearfully and cried, deep shuddering and uncontrollable tears. Her hands left her head and scrabbling on the ground, tearing grooves into the dirt.
She rocked back and forth, chest heaving.
"I can turn it off, I can turn it off," She murmured in realization and only debated for half a second; anything was better than this torment. Anything.
She flipped the switch.
a/n: so, i'm on thanksgiving break but have only had a bit of time to write while my sister's at work because we've hanging out and doing stuff together. but i was catching her up on season four and then i decided to rewatch some of my favorite flashback episodes of season 3, and therefore watched 1912. this came about and might actually be continued into a two or three shot.
so, please drop a (hopefully kind) review.