This is what happens when life is overwhelming. I haven't written anything in years and I have never written much, but I felt inspired (or whatever you call the feeling that gets you this kind of stuff out) this evening. I apologize for mistakes but I have no beta and I'm not an English native speaker. That said, this is how I envision the ending of season 6, even though I have very little data so I really have no idea what the hell is going to happen. But hey, that's the best part I guess.
I really have no idea what I'm doing but I'm guessing this will be a couple of chapters long. I hope it's not too boring, cheers!
P.S. I did use spoilers! But I really have invented most of it.
Edit: I guess now that 6x21 has aired this is going to count as AU. I wasn't expecting that kind of ending for "San Diego" at all! Also I see now that Bob Day is never going to be kind with Nick, lol. The call on the show was very different from this one! I hope you can enjoy this even though it is so far from canon.
I.
They say breaking up is never easy, and yet this feels incredibly easy to him, almost liberating. But as he rides the elevator, he starts second-guessing himself as he is very used to do. Was that the right decision? Did he do anything wrong? Was it him and not her? Maybe he is just doomed to fail at every relationshio he has. Maybe he'll never be good enough.
He opens the door of the apartment and goes to his now emptier room, glancing at the one on the other side of the hallway, also emptier than it was only a week ago. He still cannot understand why his best friend would leave like this, saying nothing and not answering his calls, and he starts to wonder if he maybe did something wrong to her, too. If he disappointed her in some way, or if she just doesn't think of him as the person to go to for whatever problem she is having at the moment.
But she is his. She is the one he wants to talk to, once again. He wants to tell her about his terrible day, about the break up. He wants to tell her that he misses her, that he is going mad not knowing what has happened to her. So he takes his phone in his hand for the hundrendth time and calls her, for the hundrendth time.
He cannot believe it when he realizes she actually picks up the phone and he doesn't have to speak to the voicemail lady again. Except, this is not actually her. "Hello?" says a male voice from the other side of the line, and he is too confused to get what is going on. "Um sorry, wrong number I guess". He hangs up the phone, scrunching his face and checking the number again. But there is no number on the screen, it is just the good old "J-Day".
He panicks when his phone starts ringing, and it is "J-Day". With a confused face, he answers: "...Yes? Nick Miller here?"
"Nick!" says the male voice again. "I'm Bob, Jess's father."
"Bob! Hi! What is going on? Is Jess okay?"
"No, not really. I mean yes, but she needed some time in her old town. The um... pressure for the new job as principal is killing her". Nick closes his eyes as a feeling of guilt forms in his gut. It's heavy and burning, and leaves him realizing once again that not only could he not be a good boyfriend, he couldn't even be a good friend. He got so caught up in his problems that he didn't realize she was having a hard time herself.
"Oh, no," he says. "I thought she was doing better now. I had no idea..."
"It's okay." Bob Day cuts him off, and only then does Nick realize that he is actually whispering, so he figures that Jess is probably there sleeping. "I have been taking good care of her and I think she is flying back to L.A. in a few days. You know, sometimes a bit of distance is all you need." Nick nods, almost unaware of the fact that he cannot be seen. "By the way, listen" he continues, "I know it sounds random but I just want to say that.. even after all these years, that I'm sorry."
"What for?"
"About um... all that mean stuff I said in the past. About you not being good enough for my girl."
"Uh... okay? Thanks?" He really doesn't know what to say at this point.
"Okay well, this is embarrassing. I just, you know, Jess talks a lot about you and I think that um... relationship or not, you're a good addition to her life. So I just hope you can take good care of her when I'm not there... she really needs someone to think of her when she doesn't. And... well, I'm done."
Nick still feels that guilt in his gut, but it is somehow lighter and it burns less. He just says "okay" and smiles a little, because this is Bob Day talking, the man who dared voice his own fears some years ago. And right now, he is voicing his own hopes. Hope of being good enough for someone, of being good enough for Jess, even if just as a friend.
"When is she coming back? Should I come get her? Would it be better?" he asks, already liking the idea of supporting her at this precise moment, lifting some weight off of her shoulders.
"Uh... better not. I think she would feel under pressure. She'll come back when she is ready."
Reluctantly, Nick accepts. "Okay, but can you tell her that I called and that I would really like to talk to her?"
"She knows," says the voice from the other side of the line. And with that, they both say goodbye and goodnight.
But Nick can't just go to sleep after that, he starts looking for flights to book, then stops, then does it again, then decides to go to bed for good. Maybe sleep will help get him out of his state. Because he doesn't know why, but he's got adrenaline. He's excited for something but he really has no idea what it is. The tips of his toes are tingling from the will to just get up and get on the first plane, and it is hard to fight that will. But then reality kicks in and it's then he knows that none of that would make any sense. Why would he do that? That would feel utterly romantic, it would be like running through the crowd to get to her kind of romantic. Like jumping over dogs to be faster, making your shoes squeak against the floor just to reach her as soon as possible kind of romantic. He knows he has absolutely no reason to act like that, he can wait patiently for a friend to come home. His spirit dies completely when he reminds himself of the break up, the pain, and the life he has spent doubting himself.
He sees her again two days later, she has a small suitcase in her hand and a big smile on her face. He figures Portland really helped her. He is sitting on the couch then, and he doesn't know why but the view seems familiar to him. He's seen her come and go so many times, but this time it looks different. There is resolution in her eyes, like she wants to move on from something, like she's ready for something.
And he knows, she looks like the first time he saw her, strong and vulnerable at the same time. She looks exactly like she did when he first fell in love with her.
She looks up at him. "Hey, Miller!"