R-complex (Reptilia, by the Strokes)

I knew she would be the death of me.

That taut, dark-chocolate dress would give me nightmares for weeks. Blending in with her silk-like hair, except for where it strayed to wander into her cleavage...

They come first, D. I tried to concentrate, but all I could think about were her straps coming lower and lower; Those soft lips on mine, and I watched as she spoke to someone that wasn't me, with their arm on her shoulder.

He seemed impressed by the way you came in
"Tell us a story,
I know you're not boring"

I was afraid that you would not insist
"You sound so sleepy,
Just take this, now leave me"

Lissa and I had been waiting for this night hungrily for the past week. Of course, shopping had helped satiate our impatience. And, of course, I looked totally great in this dress she'd picked out for me. Christian must have thought Liss looked even better, because they were running late, and it was getting harder to ignore those excited tugs from her brain. Any minute now, I'd be expecting my own bout of trouble; not like I was a stranger to it...

There was a knock on the door: There he is. I swung it open to reveal my boyfriend, who was sober (and gorgeous). Almost as flashy as my mobster father, he was decked out in a wonderful white suit tailored exactly to his measurements. I felt a pang of regret as I'd absentmindedly thought about how he would look in it... Adrian was better than that. Adrian deserved to have someone devoted to him. So I would try my best.

Just as I'd been looking over him, his eyes had swept over me in a greedy manner. He bit his bottom lip—cute—and gave me an appreciative stare. "Oh, little Dhampir," he grinned, "I can't wait to have everyone see this on my arm tonight." With the word 'this', he'd gestured to all of me. I returned with my own little smirk and grabbed my little clasp before backing him out of the room where I was sure he'd have liked to stay.

"Tonight is more important than using me for your own evil workings, Ivashkov. And don't try anything too scandalous; you know that your parents will be there, too." I glanced over at him as we began leaving the building I've been staying in. The air was cool with a slight breeze. It felt like tonight could be magical, with the stars in sight in the inky, black sky we were so used to seeing. It felt different.

That was confirmed as we entered the large building, fashionably late. Scanning the crowd, I didn't see my best friend's sunny hair – as expected. I really did not want to check in on them right now. However, there was one unexpected person... in my peripheral vision I drank in the way his own lovely structure filled in the tux that clothed him. And his eyes... I didn't even register that he was watching me, just that they were beautiful.

Then Adrian started talking, and I tore myself away from him, my dream. My actual reality was here in front of me. Needing my attention. I laughed at whatever he'd said and put my arm around his waist, trying to comfort myself instead. Yes, I'd been excited... for what came after the socializing. We all know that's not my strong point. Adrian whisked me away into the beginning of our night of dancing and talking and mingling and... I'd need a drink before all these words became a river in my head.

I said please don't slow me down
if I'm going too fast
You're in a strange part of our town.

I watched her as one drink turned into five. And then shots. The boy beside her had already doubled that number for himself. They obviously weren't here for the Moroi celebration—after all, this was a chance for the magical graduates to be congratulated for completing their years of studies. As if on cue, the Dragomir Princess came in next through the big, double doors looking only slightly dishevelled, with Tasha's nephew beside her looking smug. Immediately surrounded, I shifted my gaze to find my target gone from the bar and stumbling towards the garden doors, mouth wide in laughter as her date tried to keep them both up, giggling as well. What a happy couple, I grumbled in my mind. My legs were already getting stiff from standing at this wall, so I figured I'd take a lap around the room. Going towards the opposite end of the room so I could distract myself with lesser evils—political strategies involving all of our new graduates right on their doorstep—I'd thought it was a good idea. Until that got boring and I passed those garden doors. Adrian Ivashkov sat there looking morose and wilted, his drink as empty as his eyes. His girl was nowhere in sight.

Yeah, the night's not over
You're not trying hard enough
Our lives are changing lanes
You ran me off the road.

The wait is over,
I'm now taking over.
You're no longer laughing, and
I'm not drowning fast enough

As soon as I'd stepped into view, his head shot up faster than I thought possible. He had this disgusted look on his face, and when he spoke, it was my name he'd spit out. "Dimitri," I heard him growl, but didn't register. Where was she? Was she safe?

The Ivashkov dragged himself up and over to the doors where I stood. "You're the last face I want to see right now." His voice was so low I had to bend slightly to hear him, concerned he would lose his stomach over my nice shoes. I didn't understand. I'd kept out of their way, torturing myself more than he could feel at any moment. When he looked up at me then, it was to size the distance between us before he tried to take a drunken swing at my face. I stepped back and tried to keep the same look off of my own face. "Mr. Ivashkov, what's the problem? " Politeness was key. "Maybe I could—" Before I could finish that sentence, he grabbed my suit's collar, which was amusing in itself. He was tall, but I was taller. His expression would have terrified anyone below me.

"You can't do anything. Or rather, you've done enough. You took my Rose, and left me with the thorns instead. How do you think that makes me feel, Belikov? To hear her whisper your name and not mine. I'M the one who she dreams about. I'M the one she's dating. But I'm still not the one she WANTS!" He roared. I knew that soon there would be someone coming to investigate this loud voice. I placed a hand softly on his shoulder, dropping my mask just a fraction. Enough to let my sympathy, my pain, my own desires slip through for a moment. He'd deny it at any future time, but that look was enough to break his anger and a rough sob ripped through him. It was hard to watch, and I awkwardly patted his back. As much of a basketcase he was, I felt bad leaving him there when it was my fault he was more alone than ever. I knew how he felt. I'd felt it too, watching them be together all the time. Knowing that although disreputable as their relationship was, it was more accepted than ours could ever be. I'd heard my coworkers talk about those who'd taken that path.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. I really was. I didn't deserve her, and we could never be together. I led him back to the stone bench where he quietly sank onto. I knew he would be alright. A patrol was due to come by soon. I took my leave and headed to where I knew the one person was that I wanted to comfort, and was in need of it. I didn't need a bond to realize it.

My Rose.

Now every time that I look at myself
"I thought I told you,
this world is not for you"

The room is on fire as she's fixing her hair
"You sound so angry,
Just calm down, you found me."

I knew I wouldn't be making it to the fun part when I started my fourth drink. I was in it to win it. At first I felt a little sad: I hadn't even seen Lissa and we had been so excited! The girls' nights, the time we spent on our hair and makeup...

But then I took another drink and felt better.

"Hey," Adrian said. I don't know how he could speak so clearly, since he's had, like, three times the amount of drinks I had. "I need to tell you something."

A simple statement. Nothing rang alarm bells in my mind. But then, with all that alcohol in my system, it might have taken a full pack of Strigoi to do that. I just smiled up at him as he pulled my arm to help me up, and led me out to where that nice garden was. It was so, so nice. Back out in that slightly chill air and those shimmering stars... I felt like being romantic, sue me. We got to the peak of the benches outside and I leaned in for a kiss. It would have been perfect. That is, if Adrian hadn't stepped away. Suddenly, his face seemed hard and that annoyed me. Now was not the time.

"I know." He said. And that was all he said. Just, 'I know'. I even waited a few moments, but no more words came. I blinked a few times, trying to get a good look at him. "Excuse me?" I stammered. I know, Rose Hathaway caught off guard? I was surprised too.

He took a deep breath and once more looked me over. "I know that you don't love me. Or rather—" He continued before I could try and cut him off. How did he know that I would? "Or rather, I know that you love him more. And as much as I hate him for that, I can't..." He looked down. This was obviously hard for him to say, but I just couldn't feel bad for him right now. He interrupted me for this? "I can't continue keeping you apart if he feels the same way that I do."

I know that when he looked back up after that, was expecting me to say something. But all I could do was scowl, really. I was going to hook up with him tonight. I was going to kiss him a couple of minutes ago. So I tried to play it cool, with a "How could you know that, Adrian? Because you can't, it's not true. I love you," I tried to move in again.

And he actually slapped me. Straight up, open-palm, slapped me.

"Snap out of it, Rose!" he demanded. "I love you, I really do, and I just wish you'd be honest with me for once!"

That got me angry. Then, I felt really, really guilty. I was going through moods faster than I do donuts, which should be naturally impossible. I knew deep inside that I'd been trying to fill a void where Dimitri had once been. My Russian God. He had been my everything.

And I'd been pretending.

All of a sudden, I just felt like crying. "I'm so sorry," I whispered, "I'm so sorry, Adrian." I felt like a bucket of cold water had been dumped over my head, and I just felt so horrible for leading him on. His face was still a stiff statue of what it had been, but cracking slightly. I saw how hard it was for him to do this.

"I'm sorry, too." He replied, "Because I can't put up with it anymore. You have to stop it. WE have to stop it. You have to be with him." He ended quietly, sitting down on the cold bench. Suddenly the chill picked up and I knew I had to leave. It wasn't my role to play anymore. So I ran, which was now my first instinct.

I said please don't slow me down
If I'm going too fast.
You're in a strange
part of our town.

I found myself in my homely nest—the cabin where Dimitri and I had found love. Running here in these heels must have been quite the feat, because the first thing I did was kick them off and collapse onto that warm, protective bed. Coming back here from Court had been mostly for nostalgia's sake, and until this moment I hadn't been hit hard enough by it. All the memories came rushing back. His sweet touch, his soft hair... I cried because of how horrible I hadn't noticed I'd been to Adrian, to both of my men. I should never have had more than one. I felt low and alone, realizing I didn't just lose one person from this. I couldn't even pretend that Dimitri and I still had a chance at a future.

So you can imagine my surprise when my dream in a duster opened the cabin door, as if he knew I would be here. I don't even know why he had his duster on over his suit. He didn't even know what to say when he walked in.

After he stumbled over a few words, he decided that actions would serve more purpose, so he swept his jacket off and knelt down in front of me, brushing my hair back. I was half laying and half sitting, unclear of what I should do in this entire situation. "Roza," He whispered, staring at me with so much concern I thought I'd melt. I was semi-sober from the incident earlier, but still felt like I was out of control. More tears leaked out. "Why did you come here?" I asked, afraid to move.

He paused before speaking. "I met Adrian Ivashkov back at the ballroom... I knew you would need me more than he did." My eyes swam with saltwater. We were connected in a much different way than I was with Lissa, and he would always know just what to say.

"I wish.." I choked out, "I wish I'd known that you needed me just as much."

He smiled and took this opportunity to pull me to his chest, and tuck me in under his chin where the world was safe and I didn't have to work to keep it that way. I knew I could never have felt this way with Adrian. I felt like a child, a very loved child sitting there, and it made me chuckle quietly for a moment. Okay, maybe I wasn't all sober.

"What's so funny?" I felt his chest growl as he spoke. I just smiled.

"Nothing is funny. I just... you don't have like, an age complex, do you? "

He turned his nose up, which looked funny. "You should know that I don't." He thought for a moment, "But I may have.. a Rose complex."

My smile grew as I let myself sink into his words, into his body, and into his soul. How could I ever love anyone else?

Yeah, the night's not over
You're not trying hard enough
Our lives are changing lanes
You ran me off the road
The wait is over
I'm now taking over
You're no longer laughing
I'm not drowning fast enough...

Sorry if it's confusing that the view jumps from Dimitri to Rose, and that it's very anti-climactic lol :) Just thought I'd try something out. I hope you still enjoyed it 3

-roxanne