DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.
A/N: Just a bizarre touch of humour. Again, don't ask me why.
It just… happened. As silliness often does. :)
Danger in the Dark
by Joodiff
"It's erotic."
"It's bloody stupid, that's what it is."
"Are you having trouble with the geography?"
"Don't you worry about me, I'm managing just fine. Fuck."
"What?"
"I think I just sprained something. For God's sake… how many times have I told you – buy a bigger bed."
"I don't need a bigger bed. I need a smaller man."
"I think not."
"Now what are you doing?"
"If you don't know by now…"
"No, I meant… oh, forget it. Which bit of you is that?"
"That would be my thigh. And be bloody careful with that elbow."
"This elbow?"
"That elbow… Christ… which bit of 'careful' didn't you understand?"
"Sorry."
"Sorry… doesn't… quite do it, trust me."
"Well, it's your own fault."
"You elbow me in the balls and somehow that's my own fault? I love female logic."
"You keep moving!"
"That's rather the point…"
"What's that?"
"You can't tell?"
"I just… didn't expect it to be there."
"It's attached. It goes where I go."
"Ow. Ow, ow, ow!"
"Sorry. Oh, for… Can you move your knee?"
"This isn't going well, is it?"
"It's the blind leading the bloody blind."
"Boyd?"
"Grace."
"Whose idea was this?"
"Yours. You insisted it would be erotic."
"Well, clearly I didn't take into account how clumsy you are when you can't see what you're doing."
"I knew it would somehow all be my fault."
"I mean… how hard can it be?"
"Grace?"
"Yes?"
"Don't move an inch. Really. Do not move an inch."
"Why? Oh. Sorry."
"…"
"Boyd…?"
"Can't. Speak."
"Sorry, sorry."
"Grace…?"
"Boyd?"
"Put the bloody light back on, for fuck's sake…"
– the end –