I'm 13. My dad abused me, then ran away so he didn't have to pay child support to my nan, who is bringing me up.
My mum died before I got to know her. My Nanny died and then 2 weeks later, My hero, my poppy, died too. This all happened when I was 7. I was also being bullied.
For me, that was when I started to go downhill. I had terrible mood swings, massive temper tantrums and I started seeing people who weren't there at all. The people were terrifying. They would wake me up in the middle of the night and tell me to do things I didn't want to do. Almost every night I had a tantrum. Trying to let all the pain out the only way I knew how. I had to put up with so much crap in theday and all these problems, so I let it out where no one else but my nan could see.
One Saturday, when I was 9, was a Really bad day. It was the day I tried to kill my self.
I was having a temper tantrum as usual, but this time, I ran out to the kitchen and grabbed the sharpest knife there. Just then, My nan ran into the kitchen and screamed. I ran into her bedroom and lay on the floor near her bed crying. I cried and cried. My nan cried too, begging me to give her the knife. I did. She took it away and cried some more. I'll never forget that day. Ever.
Having shed rivers, I am sick of crying.
Still I couldn't stop. I was only growing sicker.
This insane world, where nothing makes a difference
Having shed rivers, I still cry.