Mysterious fears, frustrated tears
I don't own Naruto, for the record I make no profit off this.
'Thinking'
"Talking"
Chapter One: More enclosed spaces and no interaction makes Hidan a dull boy.
It was dark, too dark in the room.
'And I'm all alone still' that thought for whatever reason bothered Hidan greatly. He didn't like being alone, he didn't enjoy being left to his own devices and it still got to him. It has been three days since that cocky ass leader told him he wasn't to be doing anything. Little did he realize that doing nothing meant there was time to think, and time to think meant there was time for him to remember and he didn't want to remember anything not now not ever. Kakuzu went off bounty hunting without Hidan he couldn't really go off and search for the damn pesky targets that Hidan couldn't care less about without him.
However big the space he was in was, he couldn't stand the silence much longer and settled with picking at the wall before him. Lying on his bed in a slumped angry state eyes narrowed, permanently glaring before him. It was boring brooding like this, and once more it was unnerving to think about it because no matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop himself from associating the quiet darkness with that damn box. This place, was always full of chaos that or silence. Sometimes when the members would come back to relax they would sit together and just talk. Deidara would argue with Itachi sometimes, though it was rather one sided from what Hidan could hear.
Kisame and Itachi seemed to always pass silent words to one another while walking down the hallway- Kisame and Itachi got along the best out of everyone here. Maybe that was so because Kisame didn't argue with Itachi too much- he let him take the lead because he knew he wasn't one you could pester and get away with free of injury. Deidara and Sasori that hunched over puppet man seemed to argue a lot as well. Maybe it was just the blonde's way to bonding with everyone because he seemed to get along well with Kakuzu and Sasori and Kisame and dare one say Itachi? Hidan sighed. Why was this sudden lack of people around him making him sad? His brown would furrow in confusion his finger stopping it picking when someone knocked on his bedroom door. Not that it was only his room- but still.
Grumbling quietly to himself he striated, sitting up on the bed pushing his body off it with once hefty jerk. His cloak wasn't on, he didn't see a need for it now that he was just alone in his room no one around no where to do. Stalking over to the door he grunted as he pulled it open a little the light wine color of his eyes surveying the man that stood before him in a critical manner. The waft of cold air made his skin crawl and he kind of regretted not feeling a need to wear a shirt.
"What do you want, Blondie?" Hidan snorted towards him not opening the door any more then where it was at. He was taller then Deidara, and why that thought just fluttered across his mind he wasn't sure of but it made him feel a little strange- out of place because he was tall.
"Um, Hm, Just seeing if you were still alive in here, Hidan." He nodded adding an 'Hmm' or 'un' depending on how you listened, to the end of his statement. Hidan though just scrunched up his face and slammed the door closed in Deidara's face slowly walking back over to his bed when the door flew back open the slightly red-faced blonde man growling at him.
"Hidan, No need to be rude, you haven't eaten in days now come out and eat!" He ground out stomping his foot, leaving Hidan to his own company the door still a jar Deidara not seeing a reason to close it. He turned half way flipping off the air silently wishing he didn't have to eat, which he didn't really have to if he didn't want to though the thought of starving to death was very unappealing. Right, he'd wait for everyone to retire before eating. Once again he was at the door closing it quietly and for a moment stood to stand there looking back around the empty quiet room, to the bed that he was just laying in then the one that was made neatly. They weren't the greatest things in the world but they were better then sleeping on stone.
His feet were bare, he realized and the stone floor was cold. Glancing warily to the closet on the far side of the room opposite of him he cringed wondering how one even fit clothing in there. Then again the box he was held in for a week or so was a little smaller then that wasn't it? Shaking his head furiously Hidan growled stomping back to his bed falling onto it like an angry child rolling over onto his side to think more. To do something he didn't want to do but was anyways.
Deidara, once leaving the hallway after having a door closed right on his face, made his way into a small kitchen where Kisame was standing at the sink filling a glass with water. The bored and blatantly obviously irate expression on the blondes face made Kisame smirk, "Oh, Deidara what's got you all riled up?" He sounded as if he was asking a simple question, in a nonchalant manner, Deidara didn't much care to over analyze his intentions.
"Hidan's being a prick, un." There was a brief pause where Deidara walked over and jumped onto the counter to sit on it, looking down at his hand the mouth opening and closing lolling the tongue inside of it out. "And he's acting funny." Deidara said finally looking up at Kisame with his one exposed blue eye the blonde brow over it coming down to crease a little. Sipping on his water, Kisame took a moment to think over Deidara's stated concern thinking back a little on Hidan's previous behavior compared to this.
"Okay, so he'd being a little distant so what? The guy's got to recover Deidara and he's never been that sociable." Kisame shrugged then, drinking all the water in his glass refilling it to stay and listen to Deidara speak since he obviously felt he had to voice his concern to someone even if Kisame wouldn't do anything about it. "Yeah, but he usually gets all defensive when I kick his door open but he just stood there staring at me! I swear the dumb ass is messed up, Kisame something's just not right about him. Un." The blue eye that belonged to Deidara wandered away from Kisame's curious expression and landed on the floor. Out of habit the terrorist reached into the side pouch that held his clay and pulled out some letting his left palm chew on it for a while. The shark man drank more of the water, finishing off the second cup and setting it down also rather thoughtful for Deidara's sake.
"Don't get so worked up on it, maybe it's just a down day. Trust me kid, it's not worth it." Nodding at his own advice he turned and walked away out of the kitchen to find Itachi more then likely. This left Deidara with a few questions, but instead of working himself up over it he actually took Kisame's advice and let this little slip go. Hidan was surely fine; he wouldn't try anything or be that stupid, would he? Deidara shook his head grumbled to himself about acting like a girl and jumped off the counter molding that piece of clay he had into a bird, allowing it fly around before making it explode into a small bit of color.
Later in the day, Kakuzu arrived back to the base greeted with Silence. His brief case was a little heavier then before but that's what he gets when he goes out and kills someone. Grateful for the break upon entering, Kakuzu made his way to his jointed room opening the door staring dumbly at Hidan who was lying on the floor eye's closed, blood everywhere.
'Damn him' Was all Kakuzu could think of at the moment, stepping inside –minding Hidan's legs- and moved himself to his bed setting his brief case down on a desk at the foot of it. "Hidan, Get up." He ground out looking over at his partner with a glare directed at him. He might have been impulsive with most other people but when you are living in a room with someone who can't die the effort of killing them and the real desire to kind of diminishes after a while. "If you don't get up I'll move you, damn it." He ground out. He was taking up most of the floor space after all.
Groaning from the ground, Hidan seemed reluctant to oblige his room mate removing the sharp metal from his chest, sitting up to glare. "Fuck, Kakuzu how many times do I have to say it, its part of my religion it's not like I like I have a choice or anything." That kind of irritated the bigger man, and he sighed at Hidan shaking his head.
"Move or I'll move you." Kakuzu murmured yet again to rebuff what he was saying. Hidan not one to take orders sat there, crossing his arms face impassive lips pressed tightly in disobedience. "Fuck off, Kakuzu." He sounded rather calm looking to the side in defiance.
It only too Kakuzu two seconds to get Hidan off the floor and into the closet his back was at. Hidan didn't panic at first- he was too distracted with yelling at Kakuzu as the man kicked at his legs to get them into the small space slamming the door closed and locking it from the outside with some string and a Kunai knife. "Little bastard…." Kakuzu grumbled at the door grumpy and really just ready to kill someone again- though not Hidan it would have been a waste of energy playing into his sick fantasy. Turning he left the room when Hidan's voice started to penetrate the wood door holding him inside the closet.
"Kakuzu you bastard! Let me out of here you sick fucker!" He screamed hitting his fists on the door trying to get it open without breaking it. That would get him in an even worse position then he was already. Looking around the closet he blinked away a gloss that was making his vision blurry. The space was so small it was so enclosed and dark and quiet. "Kakuzu?" He sounded like a wounded puppy but that wasn't going to stop him from speaking. "K-Kakuzu!" His scream was loud and desperate sounding and when he quieted he could just hear the faint sounds of there bedroom door opening and closing. "Holy Jashin, Kakuzu? Kakuzu let me out! Someone!? Kakuzu?!" He yelled and kept kicking at the door trying to get it open.
His chest tightened and for the life of him Hidan didn't know why. His breathing was coming in quick gasps and the pain in his chest was unworldly. It made it hard to breath, to think as his heart pounded harshly in his chest willing him to get out. All logical thought left him at that moment, the moment he found himself back in that damn box- he could of sworn he could feel the thumping of dirt hitting the top of the closet. He wasn't strong enough to hit the door hard to open it, he couldn't get his legs out to kick the wood and bust it, and he just felt so weak like he was being drained of his energy in that closet. In the back of his head he could hear his thoughts, he could hear himself praying but he doesn't know if that really is in his head or if he is saying it out loud. His eyes were wide and sweat broke out over his body as he at there holding his temples to stop the loud beating of his heart from being heard so loudly there.
Tears ran down his face as fear gripped his heart tightly and his stomach knotted and turned making him want to vomit. The queasy uneasy feeling making him even more delusional then before as he tried to catch his breath and failed. The tightness in his chest seemed to increase as he sat there rocking himself crying, trembling his eyes closed tightly. He felt lost, sick and alone sobbing quietly to himself trying to speak but not finding much voice for it as he slumped down further in the closet holding himself as best he could, trying to regain control and again, failing. He can't see, he can't think everything just seemed to go blank as a loud ringing filled his ears.
Deidara upon walking down the hallway with Itachi a grin on his face as he went paused seeing Kakuzu leave his room. "Oi, Kakuzu-san Good to see you back, hmm?" He questioned blinking as the faint sounds of Hidan screaming where left behind him when the door closed. "You and Hidan get into a fight?" Deidara asked Kakuzu just shrugged and grumbled darkly leaving Deidara and Itachi standing there. A nervous feeling fell over him, and he looked at Itachi who seemed to be staring off into space stone cold. "Come on, Itachi-kun? Let's go." Deidara ground out glaring at the dark haired man as he walked to the door and opened it listening, it was quiet and no one was around. There was blood on the floor and while he and Itachi stepped inside and Deidara looked around Itachi grunted.
"What?" He glanced at the Uchiha both there faces seemed rather nasty looking. "He's in the closet." Was all the Black haired man said as he flung it open and both where left rather shell shocked- still- staring at Hidan who was curled in on himself trembling and crying, like a child. Deidara opened his mouth to speak and Itachi almost instantly hushed him with a finger, reaching forward with the same hand and none to gently removed Hidan from the closet depositing the passed out male on the ground. "The hell? Hmm…" Deidara blinked him and Itachi's eyes met and Deidara nodded, "Right, right, leave them." He growled out and the stoic red-eyed male did just that, leaving Deidara to pick Hidan up off the ground.
"Hey, hey wake up…" The blonde snapped at the zealot having got the poor man onto his bed. He lifted a hand and smacked Hidan hard across the face sending the Zealot up out of his daze and bolt-up right. "..Gee Hidan, what's the matter with you?!" Deidara yelled at him glaring with his one eye. Hidan's pale complexion seemed to ashen a bit as he looked around slowly then at Deidara. For a second it seemed there was something there in his hollow eyes, but the moment it was there, if anything was really, it was gone and both his eyes where narrowed in anger.
"Blondie, Get the fuck out of this room!" He bellowed pointing towards the door, "Get out, get out!" He yelled quite the amount of foul words following as Deidara ran just dodging the scythe that was thrown at him before he exited. Throwing the door closed he sighed deeply kicking it once in anger yelling "Well fuck you too then! Un!" Walking his way down the hallway thoroughly pissed that he didn't even get a thank you.
Once he was out Hidan found he was lying down again curled up over the sheet gritting his teeth. His chest still ached from that sudden attack of something and the expression on his face seemed to slowly dissipate. 'What was I thinking?' Hidan rebuffed slowly in his head shifting slightly to get under the covers so when Kakuzu came back he'd just let him be. 'What the fuck happened?' He shifted a little under the sheet and sighed softly thinking back on it. Involuntarily he felt himself shiver, as fear rushed into him coursing though his veins. 'Jashin I hope that was just a one time thing…' Swallowing hard he closed his eyes and tried to sleep it off, tried being the key word.