So Chapter 1. Funny how things start you know? Anyway i hope you like it...

Nora felt the world fall sideways as her legs gave out beneath her. She collapsed against the ground and slid into convulsions, bile spewing from her lips. Her muscles contracted and she was racked with spasms. Every part of her body felt aflame and she couldn't think beyond how horrible she felt. She squeezed her her closed and prayed for the feeling to pass, for her heart to stop beating so erratically and for her stomach to calm itself.

Radioactive bits of food pooled beside her head as the quakes subsided. Nora's breathes came out ragged and uneven. Nothing seemed right with her body and her brain couldn't seem to keep up with all the signals that bombarded it. A darkness pulled at her eyes and soon there was nothing.

When everything was finally still again and the blackness faded away, Nora could finally focus her eyes on the smouldering pile of ash in front of her. It was all that was left of Codsworth. Everything that he was reduced to nothing.

A cold sweat broke out across her skin as she inched toward the mound. Her joints cracked and screamed in protest but she had to see it, had to make sure what was in front of her was an illusion. There was no way that what was before her was Codsworth.

She didn't want this, never thought that it would come to this. But when he turned away from her Nora couldn't take it. He couldn't leave her, not after everything that had happened. She couldn't let him. Her gun was in hand before she was even aware of it firing without even thinking.

The look of betrayal when the first shot pierced his steel shell would never leave Nora. When he turned to retaliated Nora had to fight back. Fire and gunshots and then he was gone.

"Mum...Im dying…" his final words echoed through her mind as she crouched over what was left of him. Her first friend in this wasteland, her loyal companion. And she had killed him.

"Why damn it." She whispered aloud. "Why couldn't you just understand?" Anger filled her blood and she began to scream "Why did none of you understand!"

Everyone of her so called friends abandoned her, left her to die out in this new, unfamiliar world. Deacon, Danse, Piper, MacCready, Curie, all of them. They all just turned their backs on her.

" I did what I had to to survive! To thrive!"

"You think that you can live out here without bloodshed, without thievery, without brutality! I did what i had to!" Her voice cracked and wavered as she shouted at all the people who weren't there.

All the companions she had fought beside and for, had pushed her away, cursed her. And codsworth was the last one she could talk to, the last person she had.

"Why?" she question the smoldering pile of ash that was once her friend. But he would never answer again, never entertain her with his slightly dorky wit or voice concerns about her health and safety.

"Why couldn't you just trust me?"

For a long time Nora couldn't even move, her eyes could not tear themselves away from what she had done. This was it, he was the last one, Nora had no one now. No one was coming to help her, no one was going to watch her back or make sure that she was safe. She was alone.

"Damn you. All of you. All i did was try to live and this is what happens." Nora whispered as she finally stood. From her pack she withdrew a silver vase, the best she ever scavenged. She had planned on trading it at Diamond City but it was too late for that now.

Methodically she began to pour Codsworths ashes into the vase. The pile was still hot and it burned her hands but she paid no mind. She would heal and it was a small atonement, a punishment, for his murder. Her fingers soon blistered and blackened as she worked but it was like she could hardly feel it. She could hardly feel anything, not the saw blade wound she bore on her arm or the scorch wounds on her legs and abdomen. These injuries meant nothing as she scooped up the last bits of her friend.

When she was done night had already closed in and she could hear them skittering outside, the vile trash of the wasteland. No doubt they had heard her screaming and came in search of their next meal. Ghouls and radroaches and who knew what else. Any second now they would seek her out but Nora was not in the mood to fight anything. Her pack felt like it was filled with the entire Commonwealth, the weight of it bearing down on her very soul. But it was just the vase.

It's just a vase Nora tried to tell herself, tried to block out the knowledge that it was filled with the remains of the friend she killed. That on her back wasn't the blackened ruins of her oldest companion, that she hadn't just destroyed her last link to her old life.

"Yeah it's just a vase. It's fine. I'm fine." The lie fell out only to send a shockwave of pain through her heart. A pit of sorrow welled up inside of her and threatened to send her back into fits of sobbing but she pushed it away.

She couldn't break down right now. Not while she was trapped in the city surrounded by the abominations that wanted to eat her.

The escape from the building proved easier than she expected, probably due to the sound of raider gunshots and ghoul screeches a block or so away. Better them than me she thought a she scuttled away.

In the darkness the city almost looked like it had two hundred years ago. As if all the workers had gone home and simply turned the towers lights off. That in the morning they would be filled with people rushing about to meet deadlines and make business deals, traffic would be its normal, horrible self and the people would worry about nothing but their next bill payment.

Buildings passed that she had known in their prime. People she had known, long dead or turned into wretched ghouls, used to live happily here. This was where she had meet Nate, an ex soldier looking for a job and her a up starting business woman. But that was another time, another life. She didn't have strength to reflect on such painful things yet.

Nora escaped the city soon and cut across the empty fields. And maybe it was the silence that broke open the seal on her locked away memories. First it was McCready saying " It's quiet. Too quiet. Oh man, I always wanted to say that." back when he still liked her enough to joke. The next was him asking her to seek some shelter so that they may be kept safe for the night. Then came Preston praising that it was not raining. Followed by Danse asking if they should set up a bivouac. And one by one her companions poured into her mind.

Her eye stung and it took every ounce of her will not to cry. She would not cry over them. They did not deserve her tears.

Nora smiled a sad smile, thinking of better times. She might not cry but she could just stop. She could lay down and just never get up. But as her steps faltered she knew she couldn't do that. She had to get home. There was no way in this wasteland hell she was dying. She had a reckoning to fulfill and someone who was waiting for her.

When Sanctuary Hill was at last in sight she broke out into a sprint to reach the only thing that could make her feel welcome again.

Dogmeat was in his dog house like always, patiently waiting for his master to return. He never judged, never cared about the morality of her actions or whether she was justified. He loved her unconditionally and would never leave. And that's what Nora needed. Dogmeat was somebody who no matter what you didn't do or couldn't take or didn't win or couldn't make loved you without judgement just the same.

"Oh Dogmeat." she cried as she collapsed in front of him. He plodded over to her and pressed his wet muzzle to her face. Nora raised her head and stared into his soft brown eyes and soon felt tears run from her own. Dogmeat lapped at her face and gave out soft wines. Nora clutched his fur tightly and held him close. Into his warm fur she allowed for the tears she had been kept locked away pour forth.

The settlers of Sanctuary Hill had long since been moved or killed and so Nora's cries went unheard by anyone but her last companion and only friend.

So good? Bad? Problems? Let me know! I adore reviews. Until next time sweethearts...