Soo, heyyyy. It's been a while since my last fic and I'm actually quite nervous about publishing this. I wasn't sure if I'd publish this at all, but what can I say? I just love these two and with the lack of Klebekah on the show since Rebekah's departure, I just had to write this. Now I hope you won't be too hard on me because really it's been ages since I last updated and so I decided to make a new account and yeahh .. Anyways, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it. I'm not gonna beg for reviews, but they would be nice, so yeah .. :)
She doesn't quite know what it is that makes her feel so safe, that has always made her feel safe.
But it has been like that for a thousand years and if she ever questioned him, she denied it within the next second.
She is like that.
She needs a safe place to land. Nobody else would ever believe she would find that place in the arms of a mass murderer, nobody but her.
And even she refused to believe it most of the time.
And sometimes the truth hurts too much, so whenever he doesn't look, it's nice to know he still cares.
Rebekah has never felt the need to let go of her past. It was painful at times and sometimes she prefers not to think about all the heart-break she has experienced over the past thousand years, but she knows that it really isn't worth it.
Looking at it now she believes there are only two men she ever loved.
Stefan Salvatore and Marcel Gerrard.
And she still feels like that compared to the years she has spent with her brother it was nothing but a short-termed rush of passion going through her veins, but nothing which could really consume her like the way her brother consumes her. And nowadays she hates herself for that.
Because she could have killed them in a heartbeat, left them with nothing, had them begging for their lives, but in the end none of them seemed to be strong enough for her. Not nearly.
So in a way she believed Niklaus when he told her that nobody would ever be good enough for her.
Nobody but himself.
At least she used to believe him.
That never stopped her from falling head over heels again and again. It really didn't take much for her to fall in love. It still doesn't.
She can go from loving Matt to loving Marcel back to loving Matt within three months. She doesn't have a problem with that. And she knows that Nik does see a problem in that. He always has.
He's her brother, he is supposed to protect her.
Rebekah doesn't understand why he seems to be the only one of her brothers who feels like fighting her in this matter.
Finn never cared too much for her.
Besides, he's dead.
Just like Kol. Kol, however, did care for her, she just failed to give those affections enough credit, she was too busy loving her other brother, confiding in him, suffering with him. Ultimately everything she cared about was Nik and the few lovers that came and went because her beloved brother tended to kill every single one of them.
She failed to notice anything anyone else but Nik would do for her.
She realizes that just now. And she regrets it.
She knows she would have never gone with Kol, even if he had asked her, even if he had begged her to go with him again and again. She still wouldn't.
That's not like Kol anyways.
And he is dead anyways.
She could try to make up for the years she failed to notice him, try to remember every single moment she spent with him, but she doubts he would appreciate it. After all he's dead. She doesn't really want to know what it's like for an original vampire who has killed dozens of innocent people to be dead. It must be hell.
"Rebekah."
She knows that voice, she knows it all too well. But she doesn't turn around. She can't. She hears fast footsteps approaching her and then there is his arm on her shoulder. She doesn't protest when he twirls her around, like a ballet dancer. She can't really bear to look at him.
She remembers everything so clearly. She hasn't forgotten one thing about him. And it's killing her. She could tell herself vampires don't forget, spending a thousand years with someone does leave its marks, but she knows it's not that.
She remembers Hayley's words.
What's it with you two? Even when you hate him, you still love him.
It's been twenty years. Hayley must be around forty years old by now. She wonders if she is with Elijah, if he eventually gave in to what he's been feeling basically since the day their eyes first locked.
But that doesn't really matter now, does it?
Eventually she's gonna die and leave Elijah broken-hearted, another beloved person that has passed him by without him being able to do anything about it.
She is never gonna pass. She can lose everything she has, she's still gonna be there. So is Niklaus who is standing right in front of her, staring at her incredulously.
The disbelief in his face surprises her in a way she can't quite make out. She believes it must be the thought that he is still there somewhere thinking about her that has kept her going all this time. But never did she think she would feel so – empty once she saw him again.
She's a walking contradiction and she knows it.
Nik looks at her in all the same ways he has always looked at her. But she doesn't fail to notice the anger behind his eyes.
Niklaus takes one step closer to her, but stops halfway. She swallows. She has never really planned on going back. And she must be crazy to be standing right in front of him right now, when has has offered her what she has wanted for centuries. She should have run, run far away, as far away as she could get. And the moment she gets closer to seeing him again, she should have left and never looked back.
"Rebekah, what are you doing here?"
She doesn't quite know to be honest. But that is the thing with him. She never knows with him. So instead of answering she just shakes her head, again and again.
I wish I knew, she thinks.
She wants to give him a proper answer, but she can't. She is not going to tell him that she missed him because she has become more careful. It took her a thousand years to realize that it was her stupid heart looking for apologies to justify Nik's actions. It took her a thousand years to come to the conclusion that the man she loved the most was the one who would only stop her life from evolving the way she wanted it to. It took her a thousand years that the only way to keep her heart from breaking again would be by breaking his. It took her a thousand years to realize that Nik is no longer the brother she used to know.
He stares at her, waiting for an answer. He doesn't look all that thrilled to have her back. Maybe it's Caroline. Maybe she has made up her mind. Maybe he doesn't need her anymore. She sure doesn't hope so.
It's funny now, isn't it?
Her brother has done every possible thing to harm her, to mentally damage her. He has killed their mother, killed off every man she ever loved that wasn't him. He has become a monster, a walking abomination.
And yet she still gets jealous at the mere thought of him having any kind of affections for another woman than her. She wonders if that will ever go away. If she could spend centuries running away from him, but as soon as he finds someone that could replace her, she couldn't bear it any longer. Even though she knows as well as him that there is no replacement for her. He will not find another one like her.
It's her or nobody at all.
Rebekah has found that expression always kind of flattering. Knowing she is his everything. But sometimes she thought that he was taking their promise a little too literally.
She looks at him for the first time in twenty years. She has lived a thousand years, but their time apart has felt like an eternity. She will never let that go.
He hasn't changed at all. Sure he hasn't. He is a vampire after all. An original one as to that.
She wonders if he remembers their time together as clearly as she does or if he just shut it all out the moment she turned her back on him and walked out of that graveyard. It wouldn't surprise her really. Then again he's not really the type to mourn. There is so much anger and hatred.
She sees it again, her angry brother aiming to kill her. He could have killed her. He could have. If he'd wanted to. But he didn't.
And that's the thing that has been going through her mind ever since that day.
That Niklaus didn't actually intend to kill her.
She remembers the hurt on his face, the tears streaming down his face, the despair. She rarely ever saw him so hurt.
She opens her mouth, but there is nothing she could think of to say. She's struggling with her words.
She sees the flash of a memory, Niklaus grabbing her hand, holding it tight in his own, him smiling at her, while her other hand is reaching for Stefan's, Nik hugging her, so relieved to see she's still alive, Niklaus kneeling down to her, whispering how sorry he was. That all was after he became that monster she claims to hate now. She sees his sparkling gaze, naked flesh, a hand trailing down her bare back. There is blood, so much blood. And he is always there, holding her, fighting her, driving her crazy. But ultimately he is always there. Right by her side.
She lifts her head up a little, but doesn't say a word.
Nik is quite, calm. He doesn't seem to know what to say for a while. Or perhaps he's still waiting for her reply.
Well, he's not going to get it.
There's a sparkle in her eyes and then she takes a step closer to him. Still there's so much distance between them. She never thought about what she would say, it was a sudden, impulsive decision.
There are many things left unsaid between them and she knows that – she knows that he knows that too –, but for a moment Rebekah can see right through him.
She sees everything. She has left and he is lonely. There is nothing to say. He hasn't changed. He is still a monster. Maybe he always will be. She doesn't quite know what to make of that.
Wasn't that the reason she left in the first place or was it merely her wish to be free?
So why can't she bring herself to care, seeing that he hasn't changed at all?
Maybe it's her, maybe it's because she's being a total brat, a hypocrite without any doubt.
She doesn't know what her old self, the one that was so sure of what she wanted, would advise her to do. There is only emptiness.
So for a moment Rebekah forgets her priorities.
She forgets everything she has promised herself and Nik, she straight reaches out for what she feels is right, although she knows it's wrong in so many ways and she will regret it later.
Still without saying a word, she steps forward, pulls at her brother's hair and presses her lips against his, fiercly, desperately and angrily.
It's strange after all this time and it's even stranger not knowing whether he will kiss back, so when he does, her pulse rises and she can feel the blood pumping through her veins, as she pulls him closer. She can't remember the last time she kissed him – it must have been centuries – and she knows she won't do it again. But she also knows that she hasn't felt like this in years.
So desperate, so hungry, so stupid – so alive.