Author's Note: Something that was working around in my head, the same place where "A Favor" came from. And yes to those curious the cover art for this story is the basis of the photograph mentioned.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, the honor belongs to Namco.
The trip to Marksburg proved excruciatingly long, and at the same time painfully short. Happier times drifted in and out of Julius' thoughts blurring with the passing scenery. Ludger's first day of school, his first A, his first crush, the first dinner he made all by himself he had such a smile on his face as though he conquered the world. Such small trivial things danced through his half lidded eyes. Ironic, but fitting all the same, it truly is the small things that get to you at the worst possible times. A sudden pain chased up his arm. He grunted tightening his grip on his arm, the pressure easing the initial spike of pain as it throbbed to memories. Memories...that was all he had left, and here he was about to scar the only person he cared about, and that gave his own life meaning. What did that make him?
"The devil, heh, no, he had a conscious," he chuckled darkly to himself. No, he was worse than the devil, worse than Bisley. Bakur was truthful about his intent, no matter how grisly the details. He said from the start what he wanted and how far he was going to go for it, his children were tools to the end. Julius was going to do the exact same thing, and make Ludger his own tool for Bisley's demise. Something changed though, instead he treated Ludger as a human being, his own little brother, just because that small boy looked up to him with such pure innocence, such love, that he couldn't help but fall to his every whim, and do everything he could to keep him from harm, to keep those eyes brimming with hope.
They looked defeated last time he really looked at him. Even looking for the Waymarkers, trying to keep Chronos busy, stay ahead of the Spirius Corporation, his brotherly instincts always guided him back to Ludger, never in person, that would put them both at risk but enough to check up on him. He'd age beyond his years, youthfulness replaced with the ruggedness of a soldier. A soldier or not, an agent or not, during those times he still felt that gentle soul, caged by the scars, the blood on his hands, beating strongly within him. No, defeated wasn't the right word, dormant, listless, down but not out a lingering fire of determination to reach his own goals. Perhaps not in the method he would have wanted but still reaching for his dreams, never losing his humanity. The train lurched to a stop ending his thoughts as he stood up following the other passengers off the train. The cool harbor air kissed his skin, easing his composure, strengthening his resolve. He flashed his GHS at the station terminal. That was what made Ludger strong, stronger than he ever could be. Julius easily blended in with the travelers making his way across the bridge, heading towards Rieze Maxia. He tossed the GHS into the water; he wasn't going to need it anymore. All this time, Ludger was really protecting him, nurturing his humanity, his soul, that thing he was trained to bury and forget for it would only get in the way. It was that strength that Julius knew would never make him trail down the path he was walking right now.
Nobody spoke to Ludger, a small blessing in his thoughts, for he doubt he could even form the proper words, to reassure them that he was just fine. Lying was never his forte, but he could do it even better than Alvin if he had the right inclination to do so. He'd lie for others, but he never could lie for himself. Lying about himself for the benefit of others he could probably do, but his thoughts were too jumbled to even say a simple 'fine'.
Ludger flat out said no, that he couldn't do what needed to be done; he couldn't steel himself the way that everyone expected him to. Again the need to lie was heavily outweighed by the truth pointing a gun at his head. So the others left without him. He slammed his hands down on the table, and that was when a small picture fluttered to the floor. It didn't initiate a response from him until Rollo began to paw at it, his efforts were rewarded as he managed to knock the picture up causing it to land face up this time. Ludger paused midway with picking it up, the picture was familiar, and not. A small smile reached his lips, it was an older picture of him and Julius well part of it was. It was photo shopped, it had him, Julius, and Elle, and it looked like it was at the park right outside the apartments. Julius' back was turn, but he was looking over his shoulder with that familiar smile, that reached his eyes, the smile he always wore when Ludger came home, or that he'd greet with Ludger after a long day at work. Ludger's back was to the camera as he was looking at Elle. She stood between them her eyes glittering with joy. He turned the picture over gently.
"Here's to making good memories," it said in Elle's neat handwriting, in the corner he saw a couple of signatures, one was Leia's and the other was Alvin's. It seems Leia was up for more than that paper she was writing. With that Ludger secured the picture on his person as he ran out of the room nearly running into Nova before he left with a hasty apology. Jude had waited on the stoop outside as they both ran to catch up with the others.
The train stopped breaking Ludger from his thoughts and once more looking down the barrel of reality. He was unsteady to his feet, but somehow managed to get himself off the train and crossing the bridge into Rieza Maxia. His stomach was in knots as the stores took that familiar Rieza Maxian style showing they had crossed the threshold. There had to be another way, there just had to be another way for this to work. That brimming hope in his eyes had simmered down to a smoldering determination, there had to be a way.