This story was kind of…on a whim. Whatever it was, it helped me to get through my crappy day as I thought of various ways to torture the Yu Yu Hakusho characters. Mm-hm…fun. Hiei's gonna hate me for doing this to him. Either way, it's supposed to be a humor fic, though not the kind where everyone's completely crazy and out of character. I'm preserving their souls, here! Give me credit, people!

DISCLAIMER: Doesn't matter that I don't own them – this way, it's just more fun!

SHE'S THE MAN
By Kohaku Minamoto

Chapter 1. Mission Accomplished, Mission Botched

Yusuke wiped the sweat from his forehead and looked down at the remains of the demon he had been fighting. "Whew. That took a while."

Kuwabara rolled his eyes. "Sure, Urameshi. Guess you're losing your touch now, aren't you?"

Yusuke's response was a swift punch to the orange-top's head, sending the taller teen reeling. "Shut up, idiot."

"Now, you two. Must you act so juvenile?"

"Hn. It's their nature, fox. You can't make them change," Hiei stated, sheathing his sword.

"Just like we can't change your bloodthirsty nature, huh, shrimp?" Kuwabara shot at him. Hiei smirked.

"Exactly, though I'm surprised that thought was able to get through your thick skull."

"I'm gonna get you for that!"

Just as Kuwabara lunged towards Hiei, Yusuke noticed something glowing behind them. He didn't know what it was, but he knew it wasn't going to be anything good.

"Kuwabara! Hiei! GET DOWN!"

"Huh?" Kuwabara turned his head, then yelped when he saw the eerie green light heading straight towards him. "Ah!"

The light hit him head on, sending him straight into Hiei. Both fell to the ground, instantly unconscious. Yusuke and Kurama stared as the bodies of their friends gleamed with energy.

"Whoa…too weird…"

"I agree."

Yusuke bent down to investigate what had hit them. Kurama joined him, searching for evidence of some kind of demon. They didn't see the light until it hit them.

Rather painfully.

"Urgh…" Yusuke rolled over and moaned. His head was throbbing and he felt…itchy all over. He opened his eyes blearily. "What happened?"

He was lying on the ground next to Kurama in the exact same place he had been before. The Spirit Detective sat up and rubbed his head.

He stopped. "What the hell?" Even his voice sounded weird to his own ears, but Yusuke disregarded it as an aftereffect of the hit.

His hair was hanging all over his eyes, and it seemed to have grown past his shoulders. Yusuke shrugged – he'd had weirder things happen to him – and got to his feet. The sky had grown dark, and it was hard to make out his friends' silhouettes. He shook Kuwabara's shoulder. "Hey, you big lump. Wake up."

Kuwabara moved away from Yusuke's hand and groaned. "Not yet, sis…just a few more minutes…"

Huh? Even Kuwabara's voice sounds weird. Must just be him. "I'm not Shizuru, stupid. Now get up."

"Wha…? Oh! Urameshi!" Kuwabara sat up. "Hey, how come my voice sounds all funny?"

"I don't know, asthma? Come on, help me wake up Kurama and Hiei."

Kuwabara grunted in his weird, higher-pitched voice and went over to Hiei. "Rise 'n shine, shrimp!" he sang.

"Cut out that awful noise, idiot."

Yusuke froze. He wasn't too freaked out about his voice and Kuwabara's, but Hiei? "Hey, Hiei, you feeling okay?"

"Of course, stupid."

Kurama sat up behind him. "I beg to differ," he murmured. "I think something is seriously wrong."

"Yeah." Yusuke wandered away and stood under the glow of a nearby streetlight. "Hey, you guys, get over here."

The other three followed his example. For a moment, they all stared at each other, then at themselves. Yusuke was the first to break the silence.

"WHAT THE HELL? WE'RE GIRLS!"

Hiei was silently fuming as the foursome walked to Kuwabara's house, which was nearest. His – her – hair, which had grown slightly longer and wasn't as flame-shaped anymore, kept falling into her eyes, which were larger and rounder. And that was not to mention a small but still noticeable part of her chest that hadn't exactly been part of her anatomy before…

Kuwabara had changed the most by far. As a guy, her figure could only be described as 'big and clumsy' at best. As a girl, the rougher lines had been softened, leaving the boy-turned-girl with a rather nice figure. Light auburn hair with tints of orange fell to her tapered chin, and her voice was much smoother and higher than before. She was almost…pretty.

"How are we going to deal with this?" Yusuke asked the question that all of them were thinking. The Spirit Detective's hair fell past her slender shoulders and itched something terrible. She pushed it off her neck irritably, hazel eyes flashing. "We can't explain this to our classmates."

"Kurama already looks like a girl. No one will notice," the female Hiei said cuttingly.

"I do not appreciate such comments, Hiei," Kurama said, slightly peeved. The fox hadn't changed much at all, besides the fact that her hair was smoother and her figure was…well, more feminine, to put it simply. Yusuke crossed her arms over her larger chest and scowled.

"It's all binkie-breath's fault."

"How did you come up with that?" Kuwabara wanted to know.

"Don't you get it? He was the one who sent us on this stupid mission. If he hadn't, we'd still be guys and have our d – "

"No need to be vulgar," Kurama said hurriedly.

"Whatever. It's not like I'm a lady or anything."

Kuwabara knocked on the door of the house. Shizuru opened the door, a cigarette between her lips. She squinted out at the figures on her doorstep. "It's late, you know. You girls shouldn't be out alone."

"Hey, sis!" Kuwabara waved a hand. The cigarette dropped from Shizuru's lips.

"K-Kazuma? What on earth happened to you?"

"Uh…" The tall girl twiddled her thumbs nervously. "It's kinda a long story…"

Shizuru looked livid. "I've got all the time in the world," she ground out through clenched teeth. "I'd love to hear it."

"Ulp." Kuwabara looked scared. "O-okay…"

Shizuru poured herself another cup of coffee and sighed to herself. "Geez, baby bro…or should I call you baby sis from now on?"

"Oh, shut up, sis!"

Shizuru folded her arms across her chest and directed her stare at each of the Spirit Detectives in turn, inspecting their new features. "It's hard to believe all of you got turned into girls."

"Yes. It is quite strange…"

"So tell me, Kurama. What does it feel like to be…gender-fulfilled?" Shizuru teased, leaning back in her chair. Kurama frowned.

"…Please don't say things like that."

"Either way, you should probably contact Koenma and let him know what happened."

Kurama wordlessly reached into her pocket and pulled out her communicator. Yusuke couldn't help giving the spirit fox another dig.

"What's wrong, Kurama? Need to touch up your makeup?"

Kurama's glare was no less scary then when she had been a male. Yusuke made a squeaking sound in the back of her throat and looked away hurriedly. Hiei smirked.

Koenma's image appeared in the mirror. He was stamping papers and did not look up at Kurama. "What is it? I'm a very busy person, you know."

"I believe we have a problem, Koenma."

The voice made the tiny ruler look up. "Eh? Who're you?"

Yusuke pushed her face into the screen. "She's Kurama, idiot. Now get your ass down here so I can kill you for what happened to us."

Koenma gulped. He could see by the girl's angry visage that she meant every word of her threat, and he knew that he was going to regret something, though he didn't know what quite yet.

Sorry, I know this was short, but I'm working on the next chapter already! Hope you all like it! Remember to review!