Rogue12158
Summery
Post New Moon- Pre-Epilogue
Bella's fear all throughout the trip to Italy was that Edward would bolt as soon as the plane doors would open. What if that really happened?
Vivid
Bella's P.O.V.
It was worth it...
It was worth it...
I had to keep repeating this to myself as If it were a mantra. As if was the only thing that was keeping me sane.
I can't truly remember how long it's been since my worst nightmare came true. All I know is that it seems like a forever, although a few minutes seem like forever now.
But it was worth it. It had to be.
Alice and I had raced off to Italy, without a second thought on my part, I was far too determined to save him, no matter the pain it would cause me later. The pain that I knew would come when Edward would run far from me as soon as those plane doors were open. Why would he stay?
I was right.
But it was worth it.
Just knowing that Edward is out there, alive, soothes the searing pain that surrounds my heart. But only a little.
I fear that this will kill me. What bloodthirsty vampires, cliff diving, and motorcycles couldn't, Edward leaving a second time most certainly will.
Alice didn't stay long, either. She stayed one more night after returning home, just to make sure that Charlie wasn't actually going to kill me, as he originally was, probably. But then, she too, was in the wind.
With Alice's departure, I was, once again, alone in Forks.
I was alone because Jake wouldn't talk to me, not that I made any real attempts to contact him, or anyone for that matter. Jake was still too hurt because I left him to go save Edward. He didn't understand.
I assume that I'm in a worse state than I was in back in the fall. But of course I really don't know. All I know is that Charlie can't even come into my room anymore. It makes me feel excruciatingly guilty knowing that I was causing him pain. And that just added to my own.
The only place I could barely stand was my own bed. I would just stare out of the window he at one point used to enter my room, into the dark sky, all the while trying to imagine his scent coming from my pillow, as it once did.
All I was good for now was staring out of that window mindlessly and hope for some release from the nightmares that haunt me while I'm sleeping. But there was never any escape. No escape from the emptiness that overtook my subconscious whenever I slept.
Now was no exception.
I was surrounded by the now familiar nothingness, and like my other dreams, I went aimlessly searching for what I desired, by would never find.
That is, until I heard something that I never heard before in my other dreams, Edward's voice humming my lullaby.
I ran and ran through the nothing, needing to find the source of the music.
"Bella? Bella, wake up! You're having a nightmare!" Now he was speaking to me, too! His voice was a wonderfully clear as one of my adrenaline-induced delusions.
"No," I said to no one, and to myself. "If I wake up, I won't be able to hear you."
"Bella, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. Please wake up!" The voice from nowhere said again.
"No!" I yelled to loudly, causing myself to sit up directly in bed, awakening myself from my dream. I started sobbing from knowing that I'll never hear his voice again in my dreams again.
Not even two seconds after waking, I was pulled to a cold, hard chest. It was Edward's. And he was saying soothing words in my ear. Saying that it was just a dream and that he won't ever leave again. I crushed myself closer to him, reciting a new mantra, to help keep myself sane, in my mind.
It was just a dream...
It was just a dream...
XxXxXxX
REVIEW IF YOU LIKE HUGS, COOKIES, EDWARD, JACOB, THE CULLEN MEN/WOMEN (DEPENDING ON YOUR PREFERENCE), WANT THE HUGS/COOKIES DELIVERED BY EDWARD, JACOB, AND/OR THE CULLEN MEN/WOMEN (ONCE AGAIN, DEPENDING ON YOUR PREFERENCE), OR WANT TO WAKE UP TO A NIGHTMARE AND HAVE EDWARD CULLEN IN YOUR BED!!!!!
THANK YOU ALL!!!
Rogue12158