The Perverted Ninja
Ch.1
Hello all you perverts, for those of you who read this story before and were wondering what happened to it I thought management had deleted it but it turns out it was my father because he thought what I wrote was inappropriate even though I'm 18. So I moved out and am now able to write whatever the fruck I want. This will have some changes from the original since I can't remember all that I wrote and am changing some things I didn't like.
All reviews are welcome whether you like the story or not please review because I love hearing from my readers.
"Talking"
'Thinking'
"Jutsu"
Now on with the story.
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It was October 10 the day the Kyubi no Kitsune was 'killed' by the Yondiame Hokage Minato Namikaze. At least that's what they want you to believe really the fox was sealed into a baby boy named Uzumaki Naruto.
Now it was Naruto's 10 birthday and he couldn't be happier. Everyone had just left his apartment from what had to be the best birthday of the boy's life, all the people he was friends with were there. There were the Anbu members that he made friends with Inu (dog) Hatake Kakashi, Neko (cat) Yugao Uzuki, and Itachi (weasel) Uchiha Itachi. There was the scary lady from the T&I (Torture & Interrogation) department Mitarashi Anko, his teacher Iruka, the two chefs Ayame and Teuchi from the ramen bar. Also the Sandiame Hokage Sarutobi Hiruzen was there.
Looking around Naruto saw the presents on the table. From the Anbu he got more supplies for pranking like hard to remove paint, tripwire for when they chase him, itching powder, super glue, a bag of feathers in case he wanted to turn someone into a chicken, and bags of water balloons.
Now you're probably wondering why the Anbu would give a 10 year old these kinds of things, well the truth is that the Anbu got all their training and practice from the hyperactive kid. When he would prank them and they would chase him they would train there tracking and capture skills, when he would sneak into places he shouldn't be they realized they had to step up security, and they got in some good exercise from it too.
From Anko he got a full set of ninja supplies from kunai to paper bombs she got it all for him. He met Anko during one of his pranks when he ran into her spilling her dango and sake, now doing this to Anko was like spilling Naruto's ramen, a complete sin. So Anko being who she is naturally gave chase and boy did she chase him. The Anbu had given up when they saw who was chasing him since they knew getting on Mitarashi's Anko bad side was a one way ticket to pain.
When she had caught the kid she tied him upside down outside the Hokage tower in his green frog boxers with the words 'I will never mess with Anko-sama's dango again.' written across his torso in bright red paint. Since then the two had become friends often pulling pranks on people who hated the two.
From Iruka he got a new wallet in the shape of a frog that he named Gama-chan and already stuffed with all the money he had making Gama-chan look like a very fat frog.
The Ichiraku's got him 10 coupons for free ramen at the ramen stand. To Naruto this was heaven to him since he didn't always have the money for ramen.
And from the Hokage he got a scroll on a tiajutsu style that he thought would be good for the kid. Looking at the scroll he saw the word tiger written across it, opening the scroll he saw that it had a lot to do with strong power attacks meant to break bones but also quick dodges to get around an enemy's attacks.
Sitting down on his bed to go to sleep he saw an orange book on his couch. Walking over to it he realized it was a book he saw Inu and the old man reading sometimes. Walking back to his bed he turned the lamp on and got comfortable.
Opening the book and reading a few lines he realized just what kind of book it was but being bored and not that tired he kept reading. After the first couple pages is when it started getting really dirty and being ten he didn't really know what it all meant but he understood enough to know what was going on and by then he couldn't put it down.
Finishing the second chapter he put the book down and realized it was way past his bedtime. So laying down he put the book on his night stand and looking down he realized he had an erection. This being his first one he started freaking out not knowing what to do but after a minute it started going down he calmed down and decided to ask the old man what it meant tomorrow.
With that problem solved he fell asleep. But in his mind behind a giant gate a pair of blood red eyes opened and a smile with big razor sharp teeth appeared while the owner of these thought 'This is perfect I can now bring the kit to the pervert side of the force. This is going to be fun.' Out of the darkness a giant nine tailed fox appeared already thinking on how to pervatize the kid.
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Far away in a different country a white haired man sat writing in a notebook when he looked up at the sky "My pervy senses are tingling. A new soul has been brought to the perverted side."
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THE NEXT DAY
Kakashi Hatake code name Inu woke up feeling good thinking 'Yesterday was a good day. I got to look at Neko's ass during our mission, got the new Icha Icha book, and got to see Naruto on his birthday. Yep life is good."
Getting up to get ready for the day he did the morning cleaning process and sat down at the table to eat his breakfast. Finishing he put the dishes in the sink and got dressed in his regular Jonin clothes and walked out of his house locking the door he started walking down the street to the Hokage tower.
Reaching into his pocket he went to grab his precious, AKA his Icha Icha. Not finding it he reached into his other pocket once again not finding it he started to panic when he realized he must have put it in his super-secret hiding place.
So reaching into his back pocket he once again felt nothing now Kakashi started freaking out almost to the point of having a heart attack. So with that he ran full speed to the Hokage tower.
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While this happened the Hokage was at his desk doing the one thing all Kage's hated: paperwork. To them nothing was worse.
"Face it Hiruzen you cannot defeat us. No Kage can, not even the Shodiame did. We will continue to grow and grow until the day you die. HAHAHAHAHAHA."
Hearing the voice of the enemy the Hokage took his pills the doctor gave him "You are not real, no matter what you say I will find a way to beat you. I am Sarutobi Hiruzen the Kami no shinobi, the professor, the Sandiame Hokage I can beat anything."
Realizing that he was talking to a pile of paper he put the pen down and leaned back "Kami-sama what I would give for a distraction. Is a war or another Biju attack too much to ask for? Maybe even a couple assassins trying to kill me would make this day so much better."
It was at this point in his slight mental breakdown that Kakashi came crashing through the window to land in front of his desk "Hokage-sama there is a major emergency-" cutting off the Jonin the Hokage asked "Is it a war or a Biju attack or a group of assassins coming to kill me?" With a look of utter desperation on his face.
Looking at the Hokage like he'd gone insane the Jonin said "No Hokage-sama it's much worse, I've lost my Icha Icha." Hearing this the Hokage jumped to his feet, since he was an Icha Icha reader as well he understood the dire situation Kakashi was having, pushing the button on the intercom "Kiyu-chan summon all male chunin and jonin immediately."
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Across town at the same time Naruto was waking up from what had to be the weirdest dream he'd ever had. It consisted of a bunch of beautiful women doing things to him that he didn't know but felt really good. What Naruto didn't know was that this was all part of Kyubi's plan to pervatize the kid.
Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes he got up and realized he had another erection.
"Why does this keep happening to me?"
Getting in the shower Naruto noticed that the cold water made his dick get soft again since the water heater in his apartment sucked. Getting out he got dressed in his white shirt with the red swirl and black shorts.
Putting some water on the stove to boil for his morning ramen he went to his nightstand and got the book from last night sat at his table and started reading.
After a few minutes the water started to boil so Naruto stood up and once again noticed that he had another erection but now after reading some more of that book he knew that this was normal since it meant he was ready to have sex but being 10 he didn't know what to do to make it go down, since he couldn't take another shower, so he just went about his ramen making routine with a hard-on not knowing what to do about it.
After eating he decided to go see the Hokage to ask him some questions about the book. So waiting for his erection to go down he went outside and headed towards the tower.
When he got there he walked up to the secretary and looked at her in a new way than normal most noticeably her chest since she was sitting down he realized just how big her tits are. When she looked up she saw the boy staring at her chest and wanting to get mad but couldn't cause he was just a kid. "Naruto-kun my face is up here you know."
Naruto looked up at her and rubbed the back of his head "Hehe sorry Kiyu-chan I just never realized how pretty you are." Kiyu blushed because even though he was a kid it was still nice to hear a complement like that "Well don't let it happen again ok?" Naruto smiled and nodded.
With that Naruto walked past the Anbu guarding the door and walked in the office like he owned the place. When he closed the door he looked up and noticed that he walked in on a meeting between the Hokage and what seemed to be half the Konoha ninja's.
"Oh um sorry didn't know there was a meeting going on, I'll sit over here." Naruto walked over to the couch on the wall and sat looking at the Hokage. When the shinobi all looked back at the Hokage he continued "I have gathered you all to inform you of a mission that I have for all of you. The mission is to visit every place Kakashi has been since last night to find his Icha Icha that he lost."
Hearing this some of the shinobi had looks of shock and the others of horror. The shocked looks were because Kakashi had lost his porn since they all knew that was his precious, the looks of horror were from the ones that were also Icha Icha fans but not on the level of Kakashi since they didn't read it in public for fear of the wrath of the holy terror know as women.
"You have your assignment, you're dismissed." At that the shinobi filed out the room on what they considered one of the most important missions a male could have.
Naruto sat on the couch wide eyed as he realized that the mission was about the book in his pocket. Getting up and walking to the desk he pulled the book out and held it up "Um old man is this the book you were talking about?"
Looking at the book in the boy's hand Kakashi got wide eyed and ran to the boy and picked him up in a big hug. "Thank you thank you thank you. I was so worried when I couldn't find her that I almost died. I left it at your apartment after your party didn't I?"
Naruto nodded when Kakashi put him down and reached for the book, however when he did this Naruto pulled his arm back so the book was out of kakashi's reach "I said I found the book not that I was giving it back to you. As far as I'm concerned its finders keepers losers weepers."
When Naruto said this the Hokage and Kakashi looked at the boy with surprised faces. "Naruto what do you mean?"
"What I mean is that I've read this thing and am planning on keeping it." Naruto said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Hearing this Kakashi had a look of surprise that turned into a look of pride "I can't believe it, he's only ten but already likes Icha Icha. I'm so proud."
It was at this point that the Hokage spoke up "Um Kakashi don't you think he's a little young for those books." Kakashi looked at the old man like he was crazy "One is never too young to read Icha Icha as long as they understand what it means. I will show this boy the ways of the perv."
With that he grabbed the boy and jumped out the window with him under his arm like a football.
Hiruzen sighed since he knew when it came to his porn Kakashi couldn't be reasoned with. Looking at the pile of paper work he saw that it had doubled since Kakashi had been there "How do you keep growing?!"
"Oh Hiruzen don't you know we will always grow and grow till be bury in paperwork HAHAHAHAHA!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Outside the office his secretary shook her head "He must be hearing the voices again."
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Jumping on the rooftops of the village under Kakashi's arm Naruto asked "Why did we just jump out the window?"
Without looking down Kakashi answered the boy "Oh Naruto don't you know? Real ninja never use doors."
Reaching Kakashi's house he threw Naruto through the window. What he forgot was that he closed the window when he left. So hopping in he saw Naruto on the ground covered in little cuts and with glass in his hair.
"Naruto why did you shatter my window?" Naruto looked at the man like he was crazy "You threw me through the damn thing!"
Kakashi put his hand to his chin in a thinking pose "Well as a ninja you should be able to open the window and land safely no matter what the circumstances are."
Naruto jumped up not even realizing that his cuts had healed "I'm not even a ninja yet I'm still in the academy!"
Kakashi waved his hand at the boy in a dismissive manner and led him to the couch to explain the way of the perv to the boy "Anyway let's get started. So do you know what sex is?" head nod "Good that makes this a little easier. Do you know what an erection is?" head nod "Good. Have you ever had an erection?" head nod "Three times." Kakashi looked at the boy closely "Tell me when you got these."
"Well the first time was when I first read the book, the second was when I woke up after a strange dream, and the third was when I read the book again."
Kakashi had that look like he was thinking again "Tell me about this dream." Naruto tried to remember all he could "Well it started off with me in some kind of room on a really soft bed, then these three women came in wearing weird outfits-"
Kakashi interrupted "What kind of outfits?"
"We'll one was dressed like a nurse, one was dressed like a maid, and the other was dressed like a cowgirl in very little clothing. Anyway after that they started dancing while taking their clothes off and touching each other then they crawled on the bed towards me and took my pants off then they went to touch my penis I woke up."
When Naruto looked up at Kakashi he noticed Kakashi looked like he was in lala-land.
'Oh my Kami he's already having dirty dreams that even have costumes. He's a natural pervert. He'll be even better then Jariya-sama.'
While Kakashi was in his own little world Naruto was snapping his fingers in front of the man's face. Giving up he left and headed back to his apartment. Since he was a kid, and didn't know better, pulled out his new favorite book. Reading it while walking he didn't notice the person in front of him and looked up when he bumped into the man.
"Sorry sir didn't see you there."
The man looked at the boy reading an adult book "Young man what do you think you're doing reading a book like that. You are way too young for something like that."
When Naruto noticed the man's eyes he realized he's from the Hyuga clan which meant he could probably have him killed for dirtying his robes. "Ah I'm sorry Hyuga-san I wasn't watching where I was going."
"Never mind that boy I asked where you got that book. You know what never mind as an adult it is my duty to take that from you." With that said the man took the book faster than Naruto could blink and put it in his robes.
Naruto looked like someone had just bitch-slapped him. Looking around he saw the man's family which consisted of a woman who had what had to have the biggest pair of tits in the world. Since Naruto didn't know anything about cup sizes he could only say they were really big and he simply got lost staring at them.
While Naruto was staring at her chest the woman smiled 'Oh ya Hisana you still got it girl.' Clearing her throat Naruto looked up at her and rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry Miss Hehe."
"Uh Hu just make sure it doesn't happen again." After that Naruto looked at the other person there a shy girl who looked his age he recognized from his class staring at him from behind her mother's legs with another girl staring at him with more confidence than her sister, she looked to be about eight.
With that done he stole one more quick look at the chest of awesomeness and looked up at the man who stole his book. "What'd you do that for? I wasn't bothering you and you stole my book."
Looking down at the boy he said "Young man I am an adult it is my duty to protect the young from something like this. Good day."
As he and his family started walking away Naruto said "Hey wait-" cutting him off Hiashi yelled "I said good day!"
Naruto grumbled about stupid adults and watched as the woman's ass swayed side to side in her pants.
Walking back to his apartment he sighed and decided to lay down and try to sleep since he was tired after everything that happened.
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Across town Hiashi Hyuga laid on his bed reading the book he stole from the kid while his wife combed her hair getting ready for bed. "Hiashi-kun why did you take that boy's book?"
Hiashi looked up "Because they were all sold out at the store and I couldn't find any."
Getting up his wife crawled on the bed letting her robe fall off her "But why would you need the book when you can have me?" grinning while his wife straddled his waist "Well I don't hear you complaining when I get new ideas from the book."
That night Hiashi didn't get much sleep. But he wasn't complaining.
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Waking up in a sewer Naruto looked around wondering how he got here. Hearing heavy breathing, and not thinking of the consequences, followed the sound down a hallway till he came upon a giant pair of gates he walked past them not finding anything he kicked a big furry thing in the middle of the room.
"Ow what the hell hit me." Naruto watched as the big furry thing turned around and saw that it was a giant fox with nine tails and remembering his history he said "You're the-the-the-"
"The Grinch?" Naruto had a WTF look on his face.
Clearing his throat the fox said "Never mind kid." Getting into a stupid pose on his hind legs with his front legs spread out he started hopping on one leg "I am the biggest bad-ass in the land, the conqueror of many nations, the world's biggest sex god, the one, the only Kyubi no Kitsune."
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In some far off land a white hair super pervert looked up "I feel like I just got ripped off."
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Back with Naruto he looked at the fox "That was the most stupidest thing I've ever seen in my life."
Looking like the kid had shot him the Kyubi said "Oh ya short stuff like you could do better."
Now there are a few things you never say to Naruto. One is talking about ramen in a bad way, another is dissing his pranks, and the last one is making fun of his height.
"Now look here you giant ball of fur that is the most stupidest thing I've ever seen so don't go talking about my height or I'll layeth the smacketh down all over your candy ass, so know your damn role and shut your damn mouth!"
Staring at the kid in shock Kyubi thought 'No one's talked to me like that since Hachibi got drunk at the family reunion. And even then he didn't take it that far.'
Kyubi looked at the kid "Ok kid you didn't have to go that far. Anyways I got sealed in you when you were born. Also have you noticed how your more interested in women?" head nod "Well that's because of me I've slowly pumped my chakra into you which means I've influenced you a bit. And since I am the world's biggest pervert that means you're starting to become one as well." Kyubi said with a big grin on his face.
"So what your telling me is that you're the reason I've been feeling these things towards women?" Head nod "Great why did you have to do that? I was perfectly happy with my life before all this happened." Naruto said looking around the cage noticing that the floor was dry here.
Looking around Naruto saw a lot of posters of various women dressed in little clothing. He also noticed they were also gifted in the chest department.
Kyubi watched the kid as he studied the posters and pictures he had sorted around the cage and noticed that there were two in particular that Naruto liked one was of Tsunade Senju the other was Mei Terumi leader of the Kiri rebels.
Kyubi had this picture because all the biju are connected so when his brother Sanbi saw the girl he sent a mental image to all of them so Kyubi made a picture of her with his chakra in the cage.
"So I see you also have my taste in women. Mainly the ones with big tits." Naruto looked up like he had forgotten Kyubi was there. "Actually I like all types of boobs big or small. So what are we going to do now? I mean I know I should be freaking out but you seem like a nice guy and you haven't eaten me so I guess we can be friends."
Kyubi looked shocked that the boy wanted to be friends with him since his last two hosts only interacted with him when they wanted his chakra which made him feel like a cheap whore since they only used him but never anything else.
"Well kid if you want to be friends that's cool with me. By the way my name is Kurama." Kyubi said while holding out a paw.
Naruto walked up and shook Kurama's paw. "Nice to meet you. I have a question how did a big bad fox like you get sealed into a ten year old?"
Kyubi knew this was coming but it still stung his pride when he was asked. "Well it started a long time ago when two men fought named Senju Hashirama and Uchiha Madara. I'm still not sure how it happened but Madara was able to summon me, I still think he did it on accident, anyway he summoned me to fight Hashirama but he used his mokuton to suppress my power and after he beat Madara his wife Mito started the sealing process into herself but when Hashirama let me go to be sealed I could have escaped. However I made the mistake of looking at Mito and became enthralled by her tits, I swear they were the biggest I have ever seen. And after that I was trapped then when Mito they sealed me into another and while her tits weren't as big they were still awesome. So ya that's my story."
When he looked down at Naruto he saw the kid sitting on a chair with a bucket of popcorn.
"Wow that's an awesome story. I can't believe you got to fight the Shodiame Hokage, and the boobs must have been amazing to keep you distracted. But I have a question who was the woman you were sealed in before me?"
Kyubi sat down and watched the boy carefully "Well kid she was your mother Kushina Uzumaki."
Hearing this Naruto froze up since he always wanted to know about his parents and here he was finding out his mother was just like him. Wait a minute "Did you just say that my mom had nice tits?" Big smile and head nod "And you don't see how wrong it is to say that to her son?!" Naruto's voice got louder as he finished his question.
Kyubi looked down a little worried since he knew personally that an angry Uzumaki was a bad Uzumaki "Now look here kid I said that before you knew she was your mother and it's not my fault you wanted to know who she was so technically it's your fault."
Naruto looked shocked "And how the hell did you get that. That's the second most stupidest thing I've ever heard because your introduction was the first. And if you say anything about my height I will make your life hell."
Kyubi was just about to make fun of the kid's height when he said that so shutting his mouth (snout?) he remembered why he brought the kid here "Any way I brought you here so I could ask you if you want me to train you in the ways of the ninja and the ways of the perv? What do ya say kid?"
Naruto looked down at the ground thinking "Ok I'll do it but how are we going to do that here?"
Kyubi had already figured this out "We can't do it in Konoha since you'll see the girls here a lot so we have to travel while we build your perviness so you don't get hunted down by all the wonderful women here."
Naruto looked a little sad since he would be leaving his home but since he was going to become stronger he thought it was worth it. "Alright I'll tell the old man and then we'll leave in the morning now let me get some sleep. We got a big day ahead of us."
With that Kurama pushed the kid out of his mind to let the kid sleep. 'This is gonna be fun'
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When Naruto woke up he was exited since he was gonna get training from the oldest and most powerfulness being on the planet.
So getting ready to leave he headed to the Hokage tower to tell the old man. When he got there no one was there not even the Anbu guards, so walking into the office he didn't know that the Anbu hidden in the walls were there so they got ready to attack until they noticed who it was and relaxed.
Walking up to the desk he picked up a pen and wrote the old man a letter saying that he was leaving the village to train under a powerful sensei.
With that done he left and headed down the stairs only to see the Hokage's secretary Kiyu. "Hello Kiyu-chan I just came to see the old man but he wasn't here. Kiyu smiled at the boy "He should be here soon if you want to wait."
"No that's ok I'll catch him later I'll see you around." When he said that she smiled and waved bye to him but when she walked past him he couldn't help it, since Kurama influenced him a little more than they thought, and smacked her ass a little hard. With that done he ran like a bat out of hell.
Running past the Hyuga compound he remembered what the Hyuga man did and got a smile that scared many a people since that was the smile of the prank king from hell.
Sneaking into the compound was easier than he thought it would be and saw a painting of the man and realized he was the clan head. Now most people would turn back when they realized they were going up against a clan head from one of the most powerful clans in Konoha. But Naruto's not most people.
So finding the main bedroom he walked in and saw that Hiashi and his wife were naked under the sheet he stared at the wife for a little longer than necessary then snuck over to Hiashi's dresser and rigged it with some of the birthday gifts his Anbu friends gave him. With that done he walked over to Hiashi's clock and set the alarm to go off in two minutes just enough time to get to the village gates.
When he started to leave he looked back at Hisana and couldn't resist and walked over and grabbed her boobs but this being his first time he didn't know what to do with them and just kinda rubbed them till she started to move.
Hisana opened her eyes thinking Hiashi wanted to go another round but when she looked around there was no one there and Hiashi was still asleep. So shrugging thinking it was her imagination she got up and started to get dressed.
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On the other side of the village Naruto was at the gates about to leave when he looked back "3…2…1."
When he got to one there was a loud boom and "WHAT THE HELL!" pulling out his binoculars he looked in the direction of the sound and was able to see past the people who had gathered to see what the noise was, and if that wasn't bad enough some ninjas were there as well thinking there had been an attack.
This day would forever be known as the day Hiashi Hyuga head of one of the strongest clans in Konoha turned into a chicken do to the copious use of super glue, feathers, and a low level exploding tag.
Only one thought went through everyone's mind 'Naruto'.
Laughing his ass of Naruto turned and ran out of the village only to return two years later.
An: so everyone this is a rewrite of the story so as always review and tell me some ideas of what you would like to see in the story and I have a list of people Naruto will be with but if you have someone in mind LMK. Also there will be a gender bender so that's an option as well.
So all you perverts who read this stay pervy.