A/N: Another songfic.. this is a Laley story..this is one of my favorite songs, and the other day I heard it and I thought of this story. So, I hope you like it. Please Review and let me know what you thought. The song is How Do I Get There From Here by Deanna Carter! Oh, by the way this takes place a week after s3 ended. Nathan, Cooper, and Rachel all died in the river.
We've always been the best of friends
No secrets and no demands
Haley James Scott ran the two miles from her apartment to her best friend in the world's house crying the whole way at two in the morning. Once she reached his door, she leaned over and took several deep breaths to calm her breathing, also trying to wipe away any stray tears before she knocked on his door. Finally gathering a small ounce of composure, she knocked rapidly on his door over and over untill the door opened slowly, revealing a red and puffy eyed blonde who was clearly crying before she knocked. As soon as the door opened, she quickly entered pulling herself as close as possible to his body and buried her head into his chest.
"Luke.." she cried out in pain. "I don't know what to do. I haven't slept in seven days. I can't eat, I can't stop crying. Please, please make it stop, Luke, please." she pleaded into his rapid beating chest as he held her in his arms.
"Hales, I can't make the pain go away, but I'm here for you. You know I am, but I don't know how.." he tried to soothe her as his voice cracked. "I don't know how to dull the pain of losing Nate. If I did, I wouldn't have spent the last four days in this room, alone." Tears glossed over his eyes once again as he pulled her into him even closer. "I don't know what to do, Hales. What do I do?" he pleaded for answers that he knew she couldn't give. No one could give. First he lost Keith because he was afraid of losing Peyton, now Nate. He'd almost lost Haley. "Don't leave me Haley" he pleaded desperately. "Please don't leave me."
"I'm here, Luke." she said almost numbly. She suddenly felt dumb for waiting this long to come see Lucas. Nathan was his brother, of course he would be in pain too. "I'm sorry I haven't been around, but that's going to change. I promise." she whispered into his chest.
He pulled back slightly and lifted her chin up to look him in the eye. "I missed you, Hales." he said sadly while pushing back a strand of her hair behind her ear. She let out a heavy sigh before cracking a small smile.
But suddenly from out of the blue
I see a different light around you
"I missed you too, Luke." For the first time in her life, she suddenly saw the resemblence between Lucas and Nathan. Qualities that were part of the reason she loved Nathan so much, she shook her head quickly trying to shake the thoughs out of her head before stepping out of his grasp. Her eyes found the floor that was covered in clothes, although she didn't know whether they were clean or dirty, she suddenly felt the need to clean. She rapidly bent over and started picking up the clothes and sticking them where they would go if they clean, even though some of them were obviously in need of washing.
"What are you doing, Hales?" he asked slightly confused by her sudden cleaning rampage. She didn't stop untill all the clothes were put away. She turned around towards him and then looked at his bed, a bed that she had slept on hundreds of times with him, and yet she was suddenly nervous.
He followed her gaze to the bed, that hadn't been made in days, mostly because he'd barely left it since Nathan's funeral. He let out a small laugh. "You aren't going to like.. make my bed now, are you?" he asked jokingly.
She let out a nervous chuckle before shaking her head no. "Sorry. I just.. I feel like if I stop, then im going to start crying again. I don't want to cry anymore, Luke. I want to sleep, I want to sleep so badly. But when I close my eyes, all I see is him. They aren't even special moments that I see when I close them, it's not like I see our wedding.." she let out choking slightly on the last word. "Or when he first said he loved me, or our first kiss or anything. There are all of these little insignificant moments, but I treasure them so much. It hurts to remember though, because he's never going to do them again Luke. He's gone. He left me, and for what? Rachel and Cooper didn't even survive! He left me for NOTHING!" She yelled as tears ran down her face once again. "Why Luke? I need a reason why. Please." she pleaded as she fell to her knees and leaned down to place her forehead against the floor. "Why is it that everytime I look at you, I see him! You've been my everything since I was four years old, yet all I see is him looking at me. WHY?" She continued although she'd never raised her head from the ground.
One thing I haven't told you,
I just want to hold you
And never let go,
He walked slowly over to her and bent down onto his knees before lifting her body up so that he could see her eyes. "I.." he began, but stopped after failing to think of anything that seemed remotely reasonable or helpful. "Let's just try to rest, kay Haley?"
She looked into his soft eyes and realized how empty they seemed. They'd always been so bright and intriguing. Now they were dull, an almost grey color. She nodded slightly as she brought herself to her feet before helping him up also. "Will.. will you just hold me?" she asked sadly with a small hint of nervousness lacing her voice. She'd never had to ask him, his arms had always found a way around her, but that was before she was married. She wanted to make sure that he would. She needed him so much, more than she cared to admit to herself at the moment.
He gave her a sad smile and nodded before gesturing her to crawl in first. Once she got situated on the left side, which had always been her side in his bed although every where else she liked the right side, he crawled to the middle and got under the covers before placing his arm protectively around her waist pulling her closer to his body gently.
I just want to know
How do I get there from here
For the first time since she slept in Nathan's arms, Haley felt content. She turned her body around after a few moments, and snuggled into his chest so that she could listen to his heart. Like hers, it had calmed down since they'd first embraced. She'd always loved being in Luke's arms. When she was younger, everytime she had a nightmare at one of their sleepovers, he would always gently rock her body to wake her up. Once she woke up, he'd pull her into his body to calm her down before putting his arm around her to protect her from the nightmare that she still hadn't completely established a difference between it and real life. She always calmed down almost immediately. This time was no different. Maybe it was the smell of the cologne he'd worn for as long as she could remember, or maybe it was the smell of his shampoo, one that hadn't changed since she'd known him, or maybe the way his arm had always fought away the evil of the world. Always.
She inhaled deeply to calm her nerves before closing her eyes and snuggling deeper into his grasp. "Goodnight Luke." she whispered softly into his ear.
"Night Hales." he said sleepily as he tugged at her waist one more time before falling asleep peacefully. Moments later, Haley nestled comfortably into his embrace and fell asleep.
How do I make you see
How do I tell you what my heart's been tellin' me
Lost in your lovin' arms
that's where I want to be
Two Years later
Haley James walked into her apartment that she shared with her best friend and flung her purse on the nearby couch without even considering someone might be on it.
"OW!" a sleepy voice echoed through her ears as he sat up lghtly rubbing his head. "What do you carry in that thing, Hales? A brick?" Lucas turned around and let out a small laugh at his best friend's shocked face before she ran over to him and felt his head for swelling.
"I'm so sorry, Luke. I didn't think you were home." she said as she continued to gently massage his head.
He looked at her oddly. "Where would I be at six in the morning, Hales?" He watched as her face reddened slightly as her eyes fell upon his bare shirtless chest before she shrugged her shoulders.
"I don't know.. Mallory's. I don't know. Where's Peyton these days? Or Brooke? Take your pick!" she replied in a slightly sarcastic tone, completely oblivious to his angry reaction.
"I'M DOING NOTHING WRONG!" he replied sternly as he stood up and walked away from the couch that she was now sitting on.
"Yeah, Luke. Nothing except getting their hopes only for it to be shattered!" she said slightly annoyed at this conversation that they seemed to have more often than she would like. She didn't want to know about his sex life anymore than he wanted to know about hers. The first time she slept with someone after Nathan, she told him and he yelled at her about it, making it seem like she loved Nathan less. After that, she kept her dating life seperate from her life with Lucas, despite the fact that they lived together. She never brought any of them home.
"They know we aren't exclusive!" he replied running his fingers through his hair and let out a deep sigh. Haley watched as he fought an inner battle with himself. Even if they did know, she knew he felt guilty about it. She wondered why he wouldn't commit to one, but she never had the nerve to ask. Partly because she wasn't sure she could handle the answer.
"Luke.." she said softly as she placed her head in her hands. "It's 6 AM. I'm tired.If you have something you want to tell me, just tell me." She'd broken up with her most recent boyfriend, Blake that night for the same reason she'd broken up with all the rest, even though she would never admit to it, they all knew why. The guy that was standing in front of her had her heart. She knew it was wrong to feel the things she felt for him. He was Nathan's brother. The guilt never quite overweighed the bliss she felt when he held her in his arms though.
His features softened as he watched her slightly fall apart before his eyes. He walked slowly over to her and wrapped his strong, but soothing arms around her waist. "What happened, Hales?" he asked softly. "Something happen with Blake?" He watched her closely as she nodded her head. "Do I need to kick his ass.. again?" he asked laughing slightly at the fact that it wouldn't be the first time. She shook her head no as a small smile crept on her face.
Her eyes wondered up untill they met his, and her heart melted along with all the walls that she'd built up to hide how she felt for him. She'd seen him around a ton of girls, especially since they moved out of Tree Hill, but she never saw him look so caring at one of them the way he looked at her. She knew that it was her mind playing tricks on her, but she could swear there was a twinkle in his eye when he was looking at her, a twinkle she never saw, even when he was with Peyton in high school. She began to lean into kiss him before she realized what she was doing. She quickly stood up and began pacing the room. She could feel his questioning eyes on her, but she couldn't make herself look at him. She'd been two seconds away from ruining the most important relationship in her life.
"I'm sorry," she stated sadly before she sat down on the sofa on the opposite side of the room. It was only a matter of moments before Lucas had made his way over and sat down next to her, refirming his grasp around her body. "Talk to me, Hales." he said softly into her ear causing a slight shiver to run through her body. He could feel her muscles tense up, and then relax as the words left his mouth, and he couldn't quite understand why.
You know I love you
How do I get there
She finally broke away from his grasp, only to bring one leg up to put a small distance between them before she spoke. "Why won't you settle down, Luke?" she asked seriously.
The question through him off guard slightly. They'd been dancing around that question for months, but she'd never come right out and asked him. Deep down he knew the answer, but it wasn't something he wasn't willing to tell her, no matter how close they were.
"I.." he began as the mass of lies filtered through his brain, almost making him believe what he was going to say. Almost. "I guess I just don't to hurt anyone." he said sadly as he watched her move the charm on her necklace back and forth over and over rapidly.
She didn't buy it, not for a moment, but she decided to play along, hoping it would lead to something she could believe, and hopefully understand. "What happened to you, Luke? You used to read these epic novels about finding love, and how it could overcome anything. What happened to your faith in love?"
He gazed into her eyes sadly. The truth was it died the day that Nathan did, but he couldn't tell her that. He also couldn't tell her that he was in love with her. He was in love with his brother's wife. He couldn't even figured out how it happened. Somewhere a long the line he'd become Dawson in the story that they had mocked their whole lives. Although Nathan had passed away, he was still everywhere. In their minds, in their thoughts, and in every private moment the two had shared. He'd never acted on his feelings for her, which is what led to him the numerous random hookups he'd been in. He'd never told the girls about each other specifically, but he did not hide the fact that there were others. He slightly hated himself for being the cause of Brooke and Peyton's friendship to die, and he hated himself more for the fact that he couldn't ever seem to settle for either. He still saw them both every now and then. Neither of them lived in North Carolina anymore, so it wasn't too hard. Brooke had made a name for herself in California with her clothes, while Peyton was attending NYU for art. They always managed to stop and atleast have dinner with him when they made their way into the state though. Besides Haley, they were his last remaining link to Nathan. He hadn't been back to Tree Hill since graduation. His mother came to visit him every now and then with Charlie, his brother, but he never found his way back home. Too many memories to welcome him back, whether he wanted them or not.
"It died." he said sadly before standing up and pacing trying to closet the emotions that were building faster and faster inside of him.
She watched him sadly before standing up and pulling his body into hers, his arms wrapped around her waist tight and held onto the hope that maybe someday she could love him too, even if he was just her Dawson. Atleast Joey had loved Dawson at one point.
As if almost she was reading his mind, she spoke. "You know I love you, Luke. Right?" He pulled away slightly, surprised to say the least by her confession, but still trying to figure out her meaning. Did she really love him the way he loved her, or was it the way she'd loved him her whole life.
You probably think I've lost my mind
Takin' this chance crossin' that line
She continued on after she got nothing in response except a confused questioning glance. How could he not know?
"I do. I love you so much. You are my everything. It scares me. I mean. You. You are my rock. My best friend. I'm not suppose to feel things I feel when I'm around you. I was married to your BROTHER! I'm a horrible person aren't I? Yet everytime I look at you, all I manage to see are your eyes that seem to see inside my soul, and your lips. My god, your lips, Luke. All I can ever think about how much I want them on mine. I don't know how to control it anymore. I've tried. I've tried so hard to get over it. Honestly, I did. Nothing works though. Not school, not work, not other guys, not even seeing you with other girls. In fact, I'm pretty that last one, yeah that makes it even worse."
She would have continued rambling if he wouldn't have covered her mouth with his hands. She instinctfully kissed the palm of his hand. All of her logic and sense had flown out the window now. She'd confessed her love for him, and he was being silent and calm. Eerily silent. She wanted to run away, but she couldn't. One of his hands were gripped tightly onto hers, while the other remained on his lips as he watched her expressions in silence.
After a few moments of taking in what all she'd said, he removed his hand from her mouth, and stared at her lips. There was still a small trace of lip gloss on them, and he wanted nothing more than taste them, yet he couldn't make himself lean in.
She watched as he waged war on his inner self, a war she'd lost a long time ago. Finally losing all control, she pulled his face towards her and captured his lips with his own. It only took a moment for Lucas to react and spread his lips granting her farther access.
But I promise to be truer than true
Dreaming every night with these arms around you
She moaned softly into his mouth before pulling him down with her as she fell onto the couch. She couldn't believe this was really happening. She wasn't sure how far this was going to go, but she was certain that she didn't have the willpower nor the want to stop any of it.
Her brain was yelling at her to stop and figure out what this meant, but she couldn't. The weight of his body against hers was so comforting, so wanted. She wasn't going to ruin one of the happiest moments in years because her brain wanted to talk. "I need you, Luke." she whispered softly into his ear before pulling him even closer to her lips. She ran her hands through his recently shaved head before resting her hands on the back of his neck.
He fought down the lump that was forming in his throat as his hands roamed her body, before finally settling on her waist, lightly playing with the hemn of her shirt, waiting for permission from her to remove it from her slim body. He pulled back slightly to get reassurance that she was okay with it.
I can't wait any longer, this feeling's gettin' stronger
Help me find a way
When she realized his lips were no longer on hers, she opened her eyes, slightly afraid that it'd been a dream. She smiled when she saw him looking down on her with love in his eyes. She nodded slightly as she pulled herself up long enough for him to remove her shirt from around her body. Once the shirt had fallen to the floor, her hands traveled to his neck once again as she laid back down pulling him down on her. She'd never felt comfortable with someone's hands roaming her body, but there was something about Lucas's touch that didn't make her tense as he gently massaged her hips before moving to her upper back and unlatched her bra that quickly fell down to the floor next to her shirt.
His lips found their way down to her stomach as she arched her back slightly in blissful harmony. He let out a small laugh as her moan echoed throughout the living room. His fingers made their way to the button of her blue jeans before his eyes made their way up to her face again, once again getting assurance that it was okay. It seemed too good to be true.
I know the shortest distance between two points is a straight line
But I'll climb any mountain that you want me to climb
Her hands found their way to the button he seemed to be latchingon to hesitantly and unbuttoned them herself to give him final permission. He smiled sofly as he placed kisses on her waistline of where jeans ended before sliding them slowly off kissing down her leg as he removed them off of her. Once they were off, he laid back on her to capture her lips again while using his strong hands to massage her inner thighs.
Only a matter of moments later, the rest of their clothing had been discarded and he'd slid into her almost instantly. She tried to soften the intensity of her moans as she kissed his collarbone, with little to no luck.
The perfect combination is your heart and mine
Darlin' won't you give me a sign
"I love you, Haley." he cooed into her ear before nibbling softly onto ear lobe. The words seemed to echo through her brain over and over again before brought his lips to hers again in another kiss.
"Goodbye Nathan." she whispered so softly that she wasn't sure Lucas heard her until he slowed his pace down and looked her in the eye and smiled sadly.
"I'm going to take care of you, Hales. I promise." he assured her. She noded her head with a small smile on her lips before flipping him over so that he was lying on his back.
"I know, Luke." she said softly into his ear as his hands gripped onto her waist steadying her balance before he began to grind his hips with hers once again.
A/N: So, this story didn't really go as I thought it would. But I'm still happy with it. I hope you like it. I'm not exactly a Laley fan.. but I'm not totally against it either. I do like Naley though. Anyway, please tell me what you thought! It would mean a LOT to me! Thanks!
