The First Halloween

October 30 2006

I should have known this would happen, the minute she told me Joe needed a costume I should have let her go and buy it, I always think she prepares too much in advance, she's already planning Christmas so can you blame me?. But she was right and I should have listened and she should have ignored me! But she did not, lately she does that a lot she listens to me, tries not to control everything and actually let me share some of her worries, it did not happen the first time but I'm glad she feels happy and safe enough to let me in this time around.

But now I'm in the middle of madness, Joe is looking fascinated around him at the mess frantic kids looking for costumes, some girls complaining to their mothers that all the cute ones are gone and I know my own girl will soon be saying similar words to me as I can see her in a far corner with a frown looking for that pumpkin costume she wanted when she saw it last week but I told her we had to hurry because we were running late from our lunch break. We will get it tomorrow I told her, ohh I'm so going to pay for this one.

"All the cute ones are gone!" "That's too big!" I look fat in this!

As I hear and see around me I place a kiss on top of my happy boy's little head and see his beautiful mother approaching me with a smile, and I send a quick prayer of thanks to heaven. A little thing like this should not be a big deal, but for us it is, she almost lost our only son, the only one we will ever have. I almost lost both of them, every time I realize I'm actually planning family holidays my heart burst with joy, and I know Abby is trying to make this year extra special celebrating all his firsts. Tomorrow will be his first Halloween party and Abby deserves to find our baby's perfect costume.

"Got it! Hey Joe look Mommy got you a costume". She says as she shows it to him.

Joe tries to grab it with a happy squeal but Abby pull it aside in time.

Let's paid and take some pictures of you in it before it gets covered in spit ok? She said laughing while getting in line.

"Ill wait outside" I say relieved that she found it and I have an excuse to leave the noisy store.

Tomorrow will be County's Halloween Celebration and Joe has been invited to a special NICU party with all the graduates, all the relieved happy families who know very well the miracle that is life and the joy of having a healthy child will reunite to show off their cute costume clad babies. After that we will hit OB and the ER.

October 31st 2006

It's a chilly night and Abby is checking on Joe for the 100th time since he fell asleep. He was a happy tired baby when we got home; he was passing around from arm to arm like he was the night most coveted candy price. Abby grinned in motherly pride as all declared our baby the most beautiful cutest angel around, but as the night approaching he crying tantrum told us he was tired although Haleh's soothing voiced worked wonders as she calmed him down while Abby and me were collecting his car seat baby bag and the goodies he was given none which he can eat but plenty for me and Abby to gobble up.

As she settles in my arms with her head in my chest I hugged her fiercely and she looks at me and kisses me. Happy Halloween I say, and she laughs Happy Halloween, I love you. I bury my face in her hair and smile, "I know I love you too"" Both of you"

As I close my eyes we can hear children's voices in the street """Trick or Treat"!

And we both laugh as we drift off to sleep.