Title: Body Switch
Author: Mitsaso
E-mail:Mitsaso_X@hotmail.com, Mitsaso@in.gr
Archive: Just inform me if you want to archive it someplace else. I won't have any problem with that!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the X-Men; they belong to Marvel and Stan Lee. I swear to return them back to their place once I finish playing with them. No profit is made of this story, so please hold back the urge to sue me. As for the Body Switching concept, I don't know who it belongs to, as that cliche had been used in many movies, «Freaky Friday» being the latest. All the people who had used that cliche in their movies can go ahead and sue me, but they would have to sue each other first for using the same cliche idea in all those films. ;-)
Rating: PG-13.Some raw language. That's all, I swear!
Summary: Logan and Scott switch bodies...and the chaos begins! How will they adapt to that change and even use it to their advantage?
Warnings: The guys here might get a little out of character...okay, a lot, but they're out of their bodies too, so I consider it logical. Plus, it's a humorous story, nobody's character remains intact in this kind of fics. If you find anything offending to you in here (though I highly doubt it), just e-mail me and I will make sure that I get myself punished (like, slap my head twice). Also, the song used somewhere along the fic is the well known "YMCA" by the Village People. Apart from some other minor changes, I just replaced "young man" with "mutant" and "YMCA" with "at Xavier's". Heh, you get the picture... ;-)
I would also really appreciate getting your feedback, as the thought that someone might have had fun with my fics is nowhere close to *actually* knowing that someone *did* have fun with one of my fics. You can also flame me or call me nasty names, I won't object, I just want to know someone is out there watching me-er, reading my fics I mean. Oh yeah, and that thing they call "constructive criticism", I don't know what that fully means, but I would like some of that too. ;-)
But enough of my rumbling.
Here goes the story!
***************************************************************
At the Robin, night time
Logan tried to control his temper as he completed 75 minutes in a row sitting on the rather uncomfortable chair. His butt had gone numb until now, and he could barely feel it.
Around him, his fellow X-Men were occupying the rest of the chairs at the table and were apparently having fun, judging from their cheerful gestures and happy voices that filled the room.
Jean had her birthday today, and she decided to take everyone for dinner at the Robin, making it clear to everyone that it was *her* birthday, so *she* would buy.
Actually, it was a very smart way to avoid the traditional surprise party which hardly surprised anyone nowadays, and along with it she would avoid the birthday cake that *others* would prepare, thus making the number of the candles that would be used a real pain in the ass.
But since Jean scheduled this dinner, she would also have control on the cake and all the variables of it, and she still would help herself to all the presents she would get for completing...how many years were they?
"Clever, sneaky Jean", was all that Logan could think at the time, apart from his posterior getting number by each minute. Himself, he wasn't really enjoying the night.
For God's sake, no, it wasn't that he was a big moody spoilsport, a loner that had difficulty rejoicing along with other human...or mutant beings.
But there wasn't any beer at the damned place. And nothing else was particularly appetising to him at the moment.
So right now, he was the only total sober, since everybody else had helped himself with the wine available and now felt more or less light-headed.
Jean had just blown the candles on the cake she provided to herself, a cake that conveniently had a single candle. Now they just stood there and chatted, waiting for the waitress to come and slice the cake.
He had a quick glimpse toward the celebrating redhead and her one-eyed husband. Scott was lightly stroking her fiery strands of hair while they both watched Hank and Bobby analysing their own points of view of one of the latter's pranks.
For a moment, Scott caught Logan looking at them, and sent back a faint smile. But the alcohol in his system didn't let it go noticed as warm-hearted and innocent as it was supposed to seem. It could almost feel like triumphant, or teasing. The way Scott went back at smelling his wife's hair made it seem closer to the teasing side.
Logan knew that he was supposed to be far over it by now, but he would never deny to himself that a hint of that old feeling for Jean wasn't still resting itself deep inside himself, waiting for the right opportunity to emerge.
Great.
Now he had to drink, or else he would get distinguishably moody in the middle of a team of semi-drunk, perky and cheering super-heroes. This was supposed to be a celebration, after all.
He sipped down his throat a good portion of the reddish liquid, but it wasn't strong enough. After all, even if it wasn't for his healing factor that made getting drunk much more difficult, he still had so much alcohol in his system all those years that he would need to ravage the entire cellar to even begin feeling a little light-headed.
Logan quit his trail of thoughts as he saw Jean beginning to open her presents. At last, something that actually promised some interest.
"OK, this one is from Storm..."she said as she hastily scraped the wrappings of the big looking package. She found a tool-kit inside.
"Awww,'The Little Gardener Tool Kit!" she announced, a bit unsurprised. She was a psychic after all. "Thank you, Ororo", she said as she sent some imaginary kisses to the weather goddess at the opposite side of the table.
The next present opened was from Bobby. Jean wasn't surprised at all when she unwrapped the expensive, trendy pair of high-heels that consisted Bobby's present for her birthday. She was much more excited however, when she felt the leather on the side of the nicely crafted fashion icon.
As she thanked Drake and pinched his blushed cheek, Logan had his suspicions confirmed; Jean used her older sister relationship to the kid every year in order to project ideas of the perfect birthday gifts in his mind. Somehow they were always trendy and worth a fortune. In addition, Drake was unlikely to be the kind of man who knew what kind of present to get for a girl...
Well, now it was his turn. Wolverine's present was the only gift that actually was a surprise to Jean, due to the mental barriers he could raise against her and all that.
Jean held in her hands the medium sized package, still wrapped up, staring at it with disbelief. It was a cylinder like thingy, around ten inches long, one edge of it was rounded and smooth. Her eyes grew like two baseballs as an idea of what the mystery present seemed to be hit her. She raised an eyebrow at Logan and the left side of her lips formed into a half-grin. She was ready to proceed to unwrapping it, if it wasn't for an angry, totally pissed Scott that interrupted the process. Apparently, he had formed the same idea in his mind about this present, and he seemed none too happy about it.
"Logan...? Why would your thick head ever think she would need such a filthy thing? What in heck's name is that and you call it a present?" his voice showed a mixture of anger and anxiety.
"See for yourself, one-eye" he shot back at Cyclops, as this unfair presumption only added more heat to his already boiling nerves.
Scott ripped the wrappings off the offending present, and waved it on the air, only to realise it was a family-size perfume, and a pretty expensive one too, considering the trend written on the front side of it. Surprise and more anger-for being embarrassed this time-coloured his face.
"Now, why the hell would I ever think that a girl would need a perfume...? I'm sorry, Summers, what was I thinking?", was Logan's nicely timed ironic comment.
Jean, instead of stopping the incoming brawl between her husband and Logan, happily grabbed her present and tried it, puffing some of it on her neck and hair. Initially, she had thought it was a dildo too, but now she was happy because it apparently was something even better.
"That does it One-eye! After all those years, you still won't trust me around your wife! You just had to get a little alcohol in your system to actually show it!". Logan's anger was stronger than any stupor he had ever been into, and he marched towards a confrontation, although the Robin was the least appropriate place to do it; it was public, after all.
"That's true! I won't trust you! And apparently, I am so right! You have been eyeing my wife since the moment we stepped in here! No wonder you chose the seat directly opposing us so that you could have a better view at her!" Scott mouthed quickly all these in order to complete his little speech before Logan would leap at him.
But Logan never leapt at Cyclops. He just stood there, anger flushing his entire body, as Slim exposed his most oppressed feelings publicly, in front of the surprised faces of his fellow X-Men, plus the snickering ones of the other patrons present in the Robin. Scott had taken him over the edge, but he couldn't jump on the table and gut him in response. Not when a perfectly fine birthday cake was within arm's reach.
Scott's eyes followed Logan's toward the cake and back at him and a bolt of realisation stroke him. He used the advantage of the visor covering his eyes to pretend he didn't know what was in Logan's mind, and then he quickly dove for the cake, just as Wolverine's hands also reached for it.
In the meanwhile, Jean had forgot all about her new perfume and she watched in growing shock the scene before her eyes, the thoughts of amusement and worry she picked up from the other X-Men making it all the more intense. Then she picked up Scott's thoughts about the cake and both her eyes grew bigger in panic.
"Nooo!" was all she could do to react. That, and the fact that she jumped for the cake too, though a little belatedly.
Scott and Logan were both wrestling for the chocolate cake at the time, while they both had a grip on it somehow, and Jean's addition to the club somewhat startled them. The cake, after changing hands each few seconds, finally slipped off their hands and made a rather interesting journey.
The first stop in that journey was Jeans face.
However, the cake was on a little higher level than Jean's head at the time, so only half of the cake and its base rested on her face. The rest of the cake continued the journey and flew over to an old woman sitting to the next table. It landed on the back of her shoulders, making her a real mess as it splashed all over her table.
But nobody thought about the lady on the next table at the time, as they all had to confront a very pissed Jean, with droplets of chocolate cake dripping down to her neck, chest and clothes.
Even at that dire time, Jean didn't shout or scream.
Not vocally at least.
[LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, YOU STUPID JERKS! THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A HAPPY OCCASION, BEING MY BIRTHDAY! NOW I WILL NEVER HAVE THE COURAGE TO WALK IN HERE AGAIN AND NOT REMEMBER THE EMBARRASSMENT YOU PUT ME INTO TODAY!]
Jean was using her telepathy to yell at them without making herself more of a spectacle than what she already was, but somehow she didn't notice that she projected her thoughts to everyone in the Robin. She just isolated her interest on the two people who destroyed her birthday.
Logan and Scott both winced under her stare, "guilty" written all over their faces.
[You know what? We're leaving]she thought, pointing her head to the other X-Men, who of course had no courage to object.[You two make sure that you pay for the dinner and then you can walk all the way back home. And you better think what you have done tonight, if you want to hear from me again!]
Scott knew what that meant. He would have to sleep in the couch tonight.
Logan smirked as he saw Cyclops lowering his head. He could guess what he was thinking.
At the end of her little speech, Jean finally remembered to scoop all the sugary stuff on her face, and then promptly left, following the others.
Scott and Logan looked at each other, and they both called out to the waitress that stood amused a few feet beside the table.
"Check, please!", they yelled at unison.
***************************************************************
Now they both stood outside the Robin, contemplating if they should walk back to the mansion together or take different paths, thus keeping out of each other's face. But since there was only one path for the way back, it seemed that they would have to suffer each other's company and maybe even have a chat about the little incident at the Robin.
"Now thanks to your incompetence to stay away from other people's wives, I will have to walk all these miles to the mansion, apparently in the middle of the rain too!" Scott protested.
Logan sniffed the air. Yes, it was about to rain. Probably a little extra payback from Jean, who probably convinced Storm into doing this.
However, Logan preferred to ignore the incoming rain and remain at Scott's comment. "You're still afraid she'll leave you for a more exciting guy, ain't ya? That's what it's all about!"
That touched Scott deep inside, reaching the distant place in his heart where his insecurity was hidden. This could be another mind game of Logan's, his little twisted way to push him to his limits again. Yes, he always was afraid of losing his wife, and especially to Logan. Plus, Wolverine's constant presence around them didn't help at all.
"Just stop this, okay? There are so many women out there...why do you have to go after mine? Leave her alone." Scott's voice was lower now, and far less offensive.
"I can't choose who I ...am after to." was his response, equally calm.
"Yes-YOU CAN! You're around for lots of years and yet you can't look at her in any way less than the way you look at those dirty magazines of yours! Why do you have to persist on this, when you know nothing good will come out of this? Is it-is it the fact that you can't have her that makes you want her more?" Scott's voice was much louder now, probably to hide the fact that it was close to trembling.
Logan gave a stabbing look at him through half-closed eyes. How dared he bring his feelings for Jean to the same level as those for a slutty Playmate on a magazine cover? But instead of basing on that his next words, Logan just teased more, bringing more heat into the argument. "You think I can't have her? You seem awfully worried for a man that confident though."
Logan's comments were once more painfully accurate. Scott contemplated raising his hand to the level of his visor and putting an end to the painful words. A painful brawl would heal much faster than the things they were saying until now.
At that moment, a strange woman came into view and interrupted their confrontation.
"Hello...gentlemen." She was quite calm at the time, but not exactly friendly either. She eyed both of them, like hey should feel sorry about something.
"What do you want, woman?" Logan wasn't exactly subtle in his words with people he didn't know, and that woman was no exception. Especially when those people were standing between him and a good, refreshing battle.
She stepped closer to them, and they both saw her clothing stained by a brownish material. The woman herself seemed to be around 60 or 65 years old, with long grey hair, and a perfectly normal but highly unfriendly face. She was the unlucky woman who had been introduced to the rest of Jean's chocolate cake.
"I expect an apology...or any other kind of comfort, that is." her tone was harsh, like she was scolding two kids that had caused mischief.
"Any other kind of comfort? We don't do such stuff, lady. Bugger off!" Logan was surprised to hear these from Scott's mouth. He somewhat was pissed off too, apparently.
"By comfort I meant paying for the dry-cleaner's!", she said, grabbing with both hands her vest. Now she seemed twice as pissed of as before." Youthful people today...they think everything's about sex. "She glanced back at them. "Jerks".
Logan growled. "With that, you lost any chance on getting your apology, granny. Now beat it. Fast. "His eyes gleamed a bit at her, in case she got frightened.
But she was strangely stable at the time, still looking at them and contemplating her next move. Logan thought about getting his claws for some air, but his instinct told him the old witch wouldn't budge.
"Still here?" Scott asked her with a grin.
"I had enough with both of you. I gave you the chance to make up for yourselves, but you proved yourselves rude and disrespectful as well as clumsy. Now I will have to punish you little shitheads"
Both Logan and Scott looked at each other and started giggling. That was the most honest and intimate act they shared together for a long time now. But as soon as they heard a puff from the old lady's direction and looked back at her, they knew deep inside that they had just screwed up...second screw-up for tonight along with Jean cake-ing herself.
The smoke surrounding the old woman subsided, and she was still there. Alas, she now wore a witch's costume and she even held an old broomstick. "Now I will have to put a curse on you", she laughed, revealing all of her four teeth.
*snickt*
As they both got ready for action, the old witch pointed toward them and zapped them. They were now paralysed. They stared in terror at her as she satanically cackled.
"Now, let me find something suitable...you two seem to not really cope with each other..."
"You heard us as you were approaching us, you witch...Do you need to ask? "Scott snapped at her. The spell allowed them to speak, obviously.
"I see a woman between you two...am I wrong? You're both after the same lass, ain't ya?" she kept babbling.
"She's not between us...! She's my wife, dammit! Can't anyone of you realise that once married, my wife is not available for other men anymore?" Scott was still pissed off because nobody tried to acknowledge that Jean only belonged to him now. Or, more like it,*he* belonged to *her*.
"You wouldn't like to be in each other's shoes, now would you?" she finally seemed to be getting somewhere.
"My shoes would be too big for him anyway" teased Logan.
"Yeah right. You'd love to be in my place any day, you filthy grumpy low-life!" Scott just kept breaking his rudeness record.
"So be it", the witch said, and clapped her hands. "From now on, you will be living in each other's body. You will have to suffer each other's presence on you very skin. This curse is irreversible, as there are no magical means of turning you back into what you were before. You will be unable to inform others that you live in another body from now on, and just for your case, I will provide constant telepathic shielding of this change, as I perfectly understood that the little wife of yours is a psychic and would soon see through this otherwise. Nobody will ever know the difference."
The witch clapped her hands again and then disappeared in a puff of smoke, cackling hysterically. The spell of paralysis was lifted, and both Scott and Logan looked at each other in confusion.
But instead of seeing 'the other guy', they both saw themselves staring back at them.
And that was the last they saw for the next few minutes.
Author: Mitsaso
E-mail:Mitsaso_X@hotmail.com, Mitsaso@in.gr
Archive: Just inform me if you want to archive it someplace else. I won't have any problem with that!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the X-Men; they belong to Marvel and Stan Lee. I swear to return them back to their place once I finish playing with them. No profit is made of this story, so please hold back the urge to sue me. As for the Body Switching concept, I don't know who it belongs to, as that cliche had been used in many movies, «Freaky Friday» being the latest. All the people who had used that cliche in their movies can go ahead and sue me, but they would have to sue each other first for using the same cliche idea in all those films. ;-)
Rating: PG-13.Some raw language. That's all, I swear!
Summary: Logan and Scott switch bodies...and the chaos begins! How will they adapt to that change and even use it to their advantage?
Warnings: The guys here might get a little out of character...okay, a lot, but they're out of their bodies too, so I consider it logical. Plus, it's a humorous story, nobody's character remains intact in this kind of fics. If you find anything offending to you in here (though I highly doubt it), just e-mail me and I will make sure that I get myself punished (like, slap my head twice). Also, the song used somewhere along the fic is the well known "YMCA" by the Village People. Apart from some other minor changes, I just replaced "young man" with "mutant" and "YMCA" with "at Xavier's". Heh, you get the picture... ;-)
I would also really appreciate getting your feedback, as the thought that someone might have had fun with my fics is nowhere close to *actually* knowing that someone *did* have fun with one of my fics. You can also flame me or call me nasty names, I won't object, I just want to know someone is out there watching me-er, reading my fics I mean. Oh yeah, and that thing they call "constructive criticism", I don't know what that fully means, but I would like some of that too. ;-)
But enough of my rumbling.
Here goes the story!
***************************************************************
At the Robin, night time
Logan tried to control his temper as he completed 75 minutes in a row sitting on the rather uncomfortable chair. His butt had gone numb until now, and he could barely feel it.
Around him, his fellow X-Men were occupying the rest of the chairs at the table and were apparently having fun, judging from their cheerful gestures and happy voices that filled the room.
Jean had her birthday today, and she decided to take everyone for dinner at the Robin, making it clear to everyone that it was *her* birthday, so *she* would buy.
Actually, it was a very smart way to avoid the traditional surprise party which hardly surprised anyone nowadays, and along with it she would avoid the birthday cake that *others* would prepare, thus making the number of the candles that would be used a real pain in the ass.
But since Jean scheduled this dinner, she would also have control on the cake and all the variables of it, and she still would help herself to all the presents she would get for completing...how many years were they?
"Clever, sneaky Jean", was all that Logan could think at the time, apart from his posterior getting number by each minute. Himself, he wasn't really enjoying the night.
For God's sake, no, it wasn't that he was a big moody spoilsport, a loner that had difficulty rejoicing along with other human...or mutant beings.
But there wasn't any beer at the damned place. And nothing else was particularly appetising to him at the moment.
So right now, he was the only total sober, since everybody else had helped himself with the wine available and now felt more or less light-headed.
Jean had just blown the candles on the cake she provided to herself, a cake that conveniently had a single candle. Now they just stood there and chatted, waiting for the waitress to come and slice the cake.
He had a quick glimpse toward the celebrating redhead and her one-eyed husband. Scott was lightly stroking her fiery strands of hair while they both watched Hank and Bobby analysing their own points of view of one of the latter's pranks.
For a moment, Scott caught Logan looking at them, and sent back a faint smile. But the alcohol in his system didn't let it go noticed as warm-hearted and innocent as it was supposed to seem. It could almost feel like triumphant, or teasing. The way Scott went back at smelling his wife's hair made it seem closer to the teasing side.
Logan knew that he was supposed to be far over it by now, but he would never deny to himself that a hint of that old feeling for Jean wasn't still resting itself deep inside himself, waiting for the right opportunity to emerge.
Great.
Now he had to drink, or else he would get distinguishably moody in the middle of a team of semi-drunk, perky and cheering super-heroes. This was supposed to be a celebration, after all.
He sipped down his throat a good portion of the reddish liquid, but it wasn't strong enough. After all, even if it wasn't for his healing factor that made getting drunk much more difficult, he still had so much alcohol in his system all those years that he would need to ravage the entire cellar to even begin feeling a little light-headed.
Logan quit his trail of thoughts as he saw Jean beginning to open her presents. At last, something that actually promised some interest.
"OK, this one is from Storm..."she said as she hastily scraped the wrappings of the big looking package. She found a tool-kit inside.
"Awww,'The Little Gardener Tool Kit!" she announced, a bit unsurprised. She was a psychic after all. "Thank you, Ororo", she said as she sent some imaginary kisses to the weather goddess at the opposite side of the table.
The next present opened was from Bobby. Jean wasn't surprised at all when she unwrapped the expensive, trendy pair of high-heels that consisted Bobby's present for her birthday. She was much more excited however, when she felt the leather on the side of the nicely crafted fashion icon.
As she thanked Drake and pinched his blushed cheek, Logan had his suspicions confirmed; Jean used her older sister relationship to the kid every year in order to project ideas of the perfect birthday gifts in his mind. Somehow they were always trendy and worth a fortune. In addition, Drake was unlikely to be the kind of man who knew what kind of present to get for a girl...
Well, now it was his turn. Wolverine's present was the only gift that actually was a surprise to Jean, due to the mental barriers he could raise against her and all that.
Jean held in her hands the medium sized package, still wrapped up, staring at it with disbelief. It was a cylinder like thingy, around ten inches long, one edge of it was rounded and smooth. Her eyes grew like two baseballs as an idea of what the mystery present seemed to be hit her. She raised an eyebrow at Logan and the left side of her lips formed into a half-grin. She was ready to proceed to unwrapping it, if it wasn't for an angry, totally pissed Scott that interrupted the process. Apparently, he had formed the same idea in his mind about this present, and he seemed none too happy about it.
"Logan...? Why would your thick head ever think she would need such a filthy thing? What in heck's name is that and you call it a present?" his voice showed a mixture of anger and anxiety.
"See for yourself, one-eye" he shot back at Cyclops, as this unfair presumption only added more heat to his already boiling nerves.
Scott ripped the wrappings off the offending present, and waved it on the air, only to realise it was a family-size perfume, and a pretty expensive one too, considering the trend written on the front side of it. Surprise and more anger-for being embarrassed this time-coloured his face.
"Now, why the hell would I ever think that a girl would need a perfume...? I'm sorry, Summers, what was I thinking?", was Logan's nicely timed ironic comment.
Jean, instead of stopping the incoming brawl between her husband and Logan, happily grabbed her present and tried it, puffing some of it on her neck and hair. Initially, she had thought it was a dildo too, but now she was happy because it apparently was something even better.
"That does it One-eye! After all those years, you still won't trust me around your wife! You just had to get a little alcohol in your system to actually show it!". Logan's anger was stronger than any stupor he had ever been into, and he marched towards a confrontation, although the Robin was the least appropriate place to do it; it was public, after all.
"That's true! I won't trust you! And apparently, I am so right! You have been eyeing my wife since the moment we stepped in here! No wonder you chose the seat directly opposing us so that you could have a better view at her!" Scott mouthed quickly all these in order to complete his little speech before Logan would leap at him.
But Logan never leapt at Cyclops. He just stood there, anger flushing his entire body, as Slim exposed his most oppressed feelings publicly, in front of the surprised faces of his fellow X-Men, plus the snickering ones of the other patrons present in the Robin. Scott had taken him over the edge, but he couldn't jump on the table and gut him in response. Not when a perfectly fine birthday cake was within arm's reach.
Scott's eyes followed Logan's toward the cake and back at him and a bolt of realisation stroke him. He used the advantage of the visor covering his eyes to pretend he didn't know what was in Logan's mind, and then he quickly dove for the cake, just as Wolverine's hands also reached for it.
In the meanwhile, Jean had forgot all about her new perfume and she watched in growing shock the scene before her eyes, the thoughts of amusement and worry she picked up from the other X-Men making it all the more intense. Then she picked up Scott's thoughts about the cake and both her eyes grew bigger in panic.
"Nooo!" was all she could do to react. That, and the fact that she jumped for the cake too, though a little belatedly.
Scott and Logan were both wrestling for the chocolate cake at the time, while they both had a grip on it somehow, and Jean's addition to the club somewhat startled them. The cake, after changing hands each few seconds, finally slipped off their hands and made a rather interesting journey.
The first stop in that journey was Jeans face.
However, the cake was on a little higher level than Jean's head at the time, so only half of the cake and its base rested on her face. The rest of the cake continued the journey and flew over to an old woman sitting to the next table. It landed on the back of her shoulders, making her a real mess as it splashed all over her table.
But nobody thought about the lady on the next table at the time, as they all had to confront a very pissed Jean, with droplets of chocolate cake dripping down to her neck, chest and clothes.
Even at that dire time, Jean didn't shout or scream.
Not vocally at least.
[LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, YOU STUPID JERKS! THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A HAPPY OCCASION, BEING MY BIRTHDAY! NOW I WILL NEVER HAVE THE COURAGE TO WALK IN HERE AGAIN AND NOT REMEMBER THE EMBARRASSMENT YOU PUT ME INTO TODAY!]
Jean was using her telepathy to yell at them without making herself more of a spectacle than what she already was, but somehow she didn't notice that she projected her thoughts to everyone in the Robin. She just isolated her interest on the two people who destroyed her birthday.
Logan and Scott both winced under her stare, "guilty" written all over their faces.
[You know what? We're leaving]she thought, pointing her head to the other X-Men, who of course had no courage to object.[You two make sure that you pay for the dinner and then you can walk all the way back home. And you better think what you have done tonight, if you want to hear from me again!]
Scott knew what that meant. He would have to sleep in the couch tonight.
Logan smirked as he saw Cyclops lowering his head. He could guess what he was thinking.
At the end of her little speech, Jean finally remembered to scoop all the sugary stuff on her face, and then promptly left, following the others.
Scott and Logan looked at each other, and they both called out to the waitress that stood amused a few feet beside the table.
"Check, please!", they yelled at unison.
***************************************************************
Now they both stood outside the Robin, contemplating if they should walk back to the mansion together or take different paths, thus keeping out of each other's face. But since there was only one path for the way back, it seemed that they would have to suffer each other's company and maybe even have a chat about the little incident at the Robin.
"Now thanks to your incompetence to stay away from other people's wives, I will have to walk all these miles to the mansion, apparently in the middle of the rain too!" Scott protested.
Logan sniffed the air. Yes, it was about to rain. Probably a little extra payback from Jean, who probably convinced Storm into doing this.
However, Logan preferred to ignore the incoming rain and remain at Scott's comment. "You're still afraid she'll leave you for a more exciting guy, ain't ya? That's what it's all about!"
That touched Scott deep inside, reaching the distant place in his heart where his insecurity was hidden. This could be another mind game of Logan's, his little twisted way to push him to his limits again. Yes, he always was afraid of losing his wife, and especially to Logan. Plus, Wolverine's constant presence around them didn't help at all.
"Just stop this, okay? There are so many women out there...why do you have to go after mine? Leave her alone." Scott's voice was lower now, and far less offensive.
"I can't choose who I ...am after to." was his response, equally calm.
"Yes-YOU CAN! You're around for lots of years and yet you can't look at her in any way less than the way you look at those dirty magazines of yours! Why do you have to persist on this, when you know nothing good will come out of this? Is it-is it the fact that you can't have her that makes you want her more?" Scott's voice was much louder now, probably to hide the fact that it was close to trembling.
Logan gave a stabbing look at him through half-closed eyes. How dared he bring his feelings for Jean to the same level as those for a slutty Playmate on a magazine cover? But instead of basing on that his next words, Logan just teased more, bringing more heat into the argument. "You think I can't have her? You seem awfully worried for a man that confident though."
Logan's comments were once more painfully accurate. Scott contemplated raising his hand to the level of his visor and putting an end to the painful words. A painful brawl would heal much faster than the things they were saying until now.
At that moment, a strange woman came into view and interrupted their confrontation.
"Hello...gentlemen." She was quite calm at the time, but not exactly friendly either. She eyed both of them, like hey should feel sorry about something.
"What do you want, woman?" Logan wasn't exactly subtle in his words with people he didn't know, and that woman was no exception. Especially when those people were standing between him and a good, refreshing battle.
She stepped closer to them, and they both saw her clothing stained by a brownish material. The woman herself seemed to be around 60 or 65 years old, with long grey hair, and a perfectly normal but highly unfriendly face. She was the unlucky woman who had been introduced to the rest of Jean's chocolate cake.
"I expect an apology...or any other kind of comfort, that is." her tone was harsh, like she was scolding two kids that had caused mischief.
"Any other kind of comfort? We don't do such stuff, lady. Bugger off!" Logan was surprised to hear these from Scott's mouth. He somewhat was pissed off too, apparently.
"By comfort I meant paying for the dry-cleaner's!", she said, grabbing with both hands her vest. Now she seemed twice as pissed of as before." Youthful people today...they think everything's about sex. "She glanced back at them. "Jerks".
Logan growled. "With that, you lost any chance on getting your apology, granny. Now beat it. Fast. "His eyes gleamed a bit at her, in case she got frightened.
But she was strangely stable at the time, still looking at them and contemplating her next move. Logan thought about getting his claws for some air, but his instinct told him the old witch wouldn't budge.
"Still here?" Scott asked her with a grin.
"I had enough with both of you. I gave you the chance to make up for yourselves, but you proved yourselves rude and disrespectful as well as clumsy. Now I will have to punish you little shitheads"
Both Logan and Scott looked at each other and started giggling. That was the most honest and intimate act they shared together for a long time now. But as soon as they heard a puff from the old lady's direction and looked back at her, they knew deep inside that they had just screwed up...second screw-up for tonight along with Jean cake-ing herself.
The smoke surrounding the old woman subsided, and she was still there. Alas, she now wore a witch's costume and she even held an old broomstick. "Now I will have to put a curse on you", she laughed, revealing all of her four teeth.
*snickt*
As they both got ready for action, the old witch pointed toward them and zapped them. They were now paralysed. They stared in terror at her as she satanically cackled.
"Now, let me find something suitable...you two seem to not really cope with each other..."
"You heard us as you were approaching us, you witch...Do you need to ask? "Scott snapped at her. The spell allowed them to speak, obviously.
"I see a woman between you two...am I wrong? You're both after the same lass, ain't ya?" she kept babbling.
"She's not between us...! She's my wife, dammit! Can't anyone of you realise that once married, my wife is not available for other men anymore?" Scott was still pissed off because nobody tried to acknowledge that Jean only belonged to him now. Or, more like it,*he* belonged to *her*.
"You wouldn't like to be in each other's shoes, now would you?" she finally seemed to be getting somewhere.
"My shoes would be too big for him anyway" teased Logan.
"Yeah right. You'd love to be in my place any day, you filthy grumpy low-life!" Scott just kept breaking his rudeness record.
"So be it", the witch said, and clapped her hands. "From now on, you will be living in each other's body. You will have to suffer each other's presence on you very skin. This curse is irreversible, as there are no magical means of turning you back into what you were before. You will be unable to inform others that you live in another body from now on, and just for your case, I will provide constant telepathic shielding of this change, as I perfectly understood that the little wife of yours is a psychic and would soon see through this otherwise. Nobody will ever know the difference."
The witch clapped her hands again and then disappeared in a puff of smoke, cackling hysterically. The spell of paralysis was lifted, and both Scott and Logan looked at each other in confusion.
But instead of seeing 'the other guy', they both saw themselves staring back at them.
And that was the last they saw for the next few minutes.
