Another fic, for now I shall leave it until I've done a little more on my others, but I had to do it. I Don't, my way

Spoilers: I Don't

Disclaimer: Not mine, if it was do you honestly think I would let him get hit? Do you honestly think it wouldn't have been Tony that got hit instead?

"This is pretty kooky huh?" Her heels clunked on the wooden boards beneath her feet as she approached the window her colleague, best friend, love, stood at. "Them getting married like this." She was standing next to him now, in her wedding outfit, him in his. His all black suit and shirt- yes a shirt. A sight for sore eyes. He normally looked amazing in his band tees but today, in something he was obviously uncomfortable in, he looked absolutely stunning.

"Yeah, it's pretty kooky," he replied with a smile, watching her as she approached. "How's it going down there?" He tilted his head quickly indicating the way she had come from looking at her, taking in the sight. He had seen her in a dress before, but he had grown accustomed to seeing her in blue, surgical scrubs.

"Oh, they're getting ready."

He finally built up the courage to give her the valentines gift he had been working on, something he regarded very close to his heart, and he wanted her to too. He produced the CD from his pocket and held it out to her. She read the front cover as she took it from him, 'For Neela, Best Roomie Ever, Happy Valentine's Day, Love Ray'

"What's this?" she asked, as if she didn't know. Smiling slightly, she remembered the day that photo had been taken, remembered the day she moved in with him.

"It's for you," he laughed slightly, nervous it seemed. He looked out of the city before turning back to her again, "I started doing a little bit of recording again, on my own. And it's got some songs I've been working on."

It was by far the most thoughtful gift she had ever been given, but she felt so terrible given Tony had shown up, and she knew he had seen them together, she needed to apologise, but this made it harder. "Really? That's great," the optimism in her voice wavered. They both heard it. He looked away again, out of the window he had found some sort of familiarity with since he'd seen them.

"There's one about you," he revealed like it was nothing, "That you'll have to figure out. Plus a few others I burned, you know, some songs we used to listen to," he looked at her again. "When we were roommates." He turned and looked out the window again, the blackness, the fullness, the liveliness. It was all overwhelming, when you thought about it.

She knew he was hurting, she could see it in his eyes now, and she needed to apologise, it was all or nothing, she figured. "I'm sorry, Ray."

He continued to look out of the window, avoiding her completely, it wasn't really going well.

"About what?" he still didn't look at her, he still kept his eyes peeled, looking for a distraction, praying for some sort of accident so they didn't have to have the conversation where she told him nothing was going to happen between them.

"I thought I was coming alone, and he just turned up, and I didn't know what to do."

Now he looked at her, he gave her that look that told her everything she wanted to know. She had hurt him, but for some reason he would forgive her, like he always did.

"No offence, but uh," he paused as he turned and leant against the window, "Not knowing what to do has sort of become your baseline."

He gave her one of those looks that told her he was right, and he knew that, hell she knew that, but all she could do was return it with a semi-hurt expression.

"This isn't easy for me Ray." She tried this approach several times, trying to buy herself time, to try and think of what else she could possibly do to show him that she loved him.

"I know," he breathed almost silently, his voice seemed to escape him. He didn't want to hurt her more than she had already been hurt this last year and a half. Michael's Death. Abby's trauma with Joe. Everything with Tony.

"I've had a pretty hard time ever since," she paused, she had to say his name, if she was going to do this, she had to say his name. She looked down at the CD in her hands, fiddling with it; it was some sort of comfort, "losing Michael, I still haven't quite…" Now it was her turn to look out of that window, praying for something to come, talking of her late husband made her relive all the times she had hurt her friend standing in front of her now, reminded her of how she had pushed him away because of the guilt she had felt.

"Yeah I know." She barely even heard his response, she was going to say what she had to say, and he wasn't going to interrupt her, not a chance.

"I mean, Tony was new, there was no history. It didn't make me think about things from before. Maybe I rushed into it because it made moving on easier." She paused slightly. Ray took this as his chance to say something, and pushing off from the window he turned to face her properly.

"So I feel like history to you?" That had to be something, if the only thing stopping their relationship was the fact that he had been there; she had had feelings for him before then. He could accept that and he would wait for her. She looked at him. The truth bared in her eyes. He was history to her.

"Well I couldn't separate you from Michael. I couldn't be with you and not feel guilty." That really was something. He gathered up courage and made his move. He looked down at her wrist and gently placed his hand over it, rubbing his thumb gently over the back of her hand.

"And what about now?"

"Now? I'm not sure all that matters anymore." He knew what that meant; they both knew what that meant. It meant that she had gotten over what lay between them; she could see herself being with Ray and not feeling guilty like she knew she would have before. She couldn't separate him from Michael, but she knew in herself that if Michael wanted her to be with anyone, Ray would be it. Especially over Gates.

"Meaning?" He asked with a smile, she gave him a look, a look he read as: you have to be kidding me He took his hand from her wrist and raised it to her cheek, running his thumb over it once before he lowered his head, the multiple inch heeled shoes she was wearing definitely made it easier to kiss her.

It was short and soft and gentle, just like they're kiss in his car a few weeks before had been. He pulled away slightly before she nodded hushed she leant towards him once more. It was a repeat of their first kiss, always giving the other the chance to move away before heating up slightly.

The loud clunking of somebody's shoes on the warehouse floor warned them to stop. Pulling apart they saw a smiling Hope before them.

"However sweet and long coming this moment is, we need you," she said breathlessly before turning on her heel and leaving back towards the wedding room.

Ray and Neela both laughed lightly, smiling at Hope, still within the others embrace. Giving and receiving one more kiss, they walked in to witness their friends wedding.

AN – Anther Fic, yes I know, I should stop starting new ones and finished the ones I've started, and I promise I will, but I have 6 more ideas, some are a few chapters some are one shots and others are long ones.

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