I do not own The Last of Us or any of its characters. They belong to Naughty Dog.
Joel stretched and yawned as sat on the edge of the bed. He looked at Ellie, who was still sleeping. What's a couple of more minutes, as he went to the window and looked at the sky just beginning to lighten. He thought about last night, and realized what a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, now that he told Ellie the truth about what happened at St. Mary's Hospital.
When she left the house after he told her, Joel feared the worst. As their eyes met, right before she left, Joel didn't see anger, but rather sadness and disappointment. I should have told her the truth from the beginning, he told himself after she left. It's my burden. Whatever happens, if she leaves and never comes back, I deserve it. And so, Joel was filled with dread, worse than facing any clicker or bloater, that he would never see her again; the last he would see of her would be the flip of her auburn ponytail as she went through the door.
After she left, he couldn't move, couldn't really think. He just sat there on the couch, until sleep finally came. A faint click of the door started to wake him, and he felt Ellie sit next to him, hold his arm and lean her head against his shoulder. Tears welled in his eyes as he realized she came back.
"I'm sorry, Ellie. I'm so sorry," was all he could say. He started to put his arm around her, than hesitated. She took his hand in hers and pulled his arm around her and buried her head in his shoulder.
"Stay with me, Joel. Don't ever leave," she said.
"I won't, Ellie. I'll never leave you." They sat like that, in each other's arms, for a long time before going to bed.
A small voice pulled him back from his thoughts.
"Hey," Ellie said, "is it time to get up?"
"I'm not quiet enough or your hearing is too good. I was going to give you a few more minutes."
"It's okay. I'll get up," she said, swinging her legs to the floor as Joel left.
During their long trip west, Joel and Ellie started sharing whatever mattress or makeshift bed they slept on. At first it was for safety and warmth, but soon they realized they needed the comforting presence of each other.
Two weeks ago, after they arrived in Jackson and started living in their small house, Joel gave Ellie the bedroom. He made up a bed in the living room out of the well-used sleeping bag and blankets. The first night, though, Joel couldn't fall sleep without Ellie. That's all right, he thought. She needs her privacy, and that's more important than me being comfortable. I'll get used to it.
Joel lay in his bed that first night, hoping to fall asleep, when he heard a faint sound of light steps. He opened his eye a slit and saw Ellie gently pulling the blanket back and quietly laying down.
"Hey," Joel said.
"I couldn't sleep." Ellie said. "Can I sleep here with you?"
"I'd like that. I couldn't sleep either." Joel replied.
Ellie pulled the blanket over her and nestled next to Joel. Within minutes, both were asleep.
The next morning, Ellie said, "Would you want to sleep in the bedroom? It's softer than the floor. I - I like sleeping with you."
"I do, too." Joel said.
It was an uneasy sleep in the two weeks since though, no doubt resulting from the conversation they had about the hospital and the Fireflies. Ellie was pretty sure what Joel told her wasn't the truth, but didn't call him on it. The uneasiness hovered over them, and an uneasiness in their sleep as well that didn't quite amount to insomnia.
Last night, Ellie thought, as she tied her hair back, those feelings went away. Joel told me the truth. Now that I know how he feels, and what he did for me, it felt so good to sleep next to Joel. I know what really happened, and how much I mean to Joel and how much he means to me. Does that mean he - I know how I feel about him, and I'm pretty sure I know how he - he did say - Ellie, stop that, she said to herself. Just wait. We'll figure it out. This is the first time we've settled down and felt secure since, well, ever.
Ellie finished getting ready and joined Joel in the living room.
"Did you have a good sleep?" Joel asked.
"Yeah. I had a weird dream, though. I was on a beach, in Hawaii, I guess, and I saw these infected coming. You picked me up and carried me into the ocean. The infected couldn't swim, so when they tried to get to us, they all drowned." Ellie said.
"Well, they got what they deserved. Surfing lessons were starting in five minutes and they just had to go mess things up." Joel said, making Ellie giggle. "I've never been to Hawaii." Joel said wistfully. "Guess I never will."
"I've always wanted to go, too." Ellie said. She walked to the window and looked outside at the brightening day. Ellie turned and looked at Joel, who had come up beside her. "Let's make that a promise to each other, or at least something we do if we can. One day, we'll go to Hawaii and sit on the beach. You better not forget you promised to teach me how to swim."
"Oh, I haven't." Joel said, and gently placed his hand on her shoulder. Ellie brought her right hand up and put it on top of his, holding it lightly. Joel looked into her eyes and she looked into his for a long moment.
"Um, we should probably go." Joel said.
"Yeah," Ellie said. "We should."
Some of the other town residents were at the main building that served as a common area for meals. At breakfast each morning, Joel and Ellie would see what needed to be done, and offer help. Lately, Ellie had been helping Sasha in the clinic and Joel had been helping enlarge paddocks for the horses.
As they came in, Joel saw Tommy, who beckoned them over. Tommy was sitting with two other men that Joel and Ellie recognized as Mike and Jim, empty plates in front of them.
"Mornin'," Tommy said. He and Ellie exchanged a knowing glance. She gave him a small smile.
"Mornin'" Joel said, nodding at the three. Mike and Jim nodded back.
"There's biscuits and gravy over there," Tommy said, gesturing to the wood-burning stove. "Help yourself."
Joel and Ellie filled their plates, drew some water from the pump and went back to sit down.
"Tommy tells me you two have some experience in making bombs." Mike said.
"A bit," Joel said. "A fella back east, Bill, taught us and we've set off a few making it here."
"Me and Jim, we've got a little background in explosives and stuff like that. We're thinking about ways to improve our defenses, at least until things get better. We could use some help, if you're willing." Mike said.
Joel looked at Ellie and they nodded. "Sure," Joel said. "When do we start?"
"Anytime you're ready. You know that building just east of the stable, the last building before the meadow starts? Take your time, finish your breakfast - we'll be there." Mike said, as he and Jim took their plates and left.
"I hope you didn't mind me telling them." Tommy said. "From what Ellie told Maria, you guys' bombs would take out a bloater. Figure you'd be able to help them out."
"No problem. We'll help. Unless you're still helping Dr. Sasha at the clinic." Joel said to Ellie.
"It's okay. I'll go by there and let her know. This sounds interesting." Ellie said.
Jim looked at the snow-covered mountains surrounding Jackson. Next month, he thought, it will be five years since we came here. After the cordyceps outbreak twenty years ago, he'd first resettled in the Columbus quarantine zone. That was where he met Mike. In Columbus, after several years under army rule, an insurgency of citizens that called themselves the Fireflies grew tired of martial law. Before long, full-scale war broke out between the army and insurgents. Jim and Mike saw the atrocities on both sides and decided to leave. They hitched a ride with some other people who were equally repulsed that people were fighting each other instead of the infected. The people they were with had heard that the Philadelphia and New York quarantine zones had been overrun. That left Boston as the closest QZ that was still secure.
So, Boston became their new home. Mike and Jim shared a common bond as they were both science teachers before the outbreak. They became good friends and eventually fell in love. Soon after they arrived, they realized that the army was enforcing strict martial law here, too. Citizens seemingly minding their own business were harassed by the army or worse. They witnessed random beatings and summary executions of people living there that disobeyed laws or challenged the army's authority. Like in Columbus, the insurgency group called the Fireflies existed here, too. Unlike Columbus, the Fireflies here didn't resort to violence, but rather their mission was to educate the citizens as to the army's atrocities. It was Jim and Mike's involvement with the Fireflies that they met Tommy and Marlene.
When Marlene became the leader of the Fireflies, Jim and Mike, and Tommy as well, noticed a shift in attitude and tactics of the Fireflies. At first, the goal of the Fireflies was to gather small groups of citizens together and let them know what the army was doing and how they could foster an underground insurgency. Under Marlene's leadership, however, that soon escalated into guerrilla attacks on the army. Soon, Marlene and the Fireflies' attitude towards the army became more hard line, with talk of attacks becoming more bold and damaging. It was like Columbus all over again.
Tommy, Jim and Mike had made plans to go on trips outside of the wall to scavenge for items and look for uninfected people still trickling in to the Boston QZ. Jim and Mike used their chemistry background to fashion incendiary devices to use on these trips. When Marlene heard about these, she told them she wanted to use the devices against the army. Jim and Mike told her 'no', after which Marlene ordered them at gunpoint to turn over the devices.
Tommy, ostensibly on Marlene's side, let them both quietly know that he was with them in opposing her tactics. After giving up a few of the devices, and seeing in horror that they were used to firebomb the soldiers' barracks as they slept, the three later quietly breached the wall and left. They traveled west; joined with other people they met, like Tommy's future wife, Maria, and eventually ended up in Jackson.
His reminiscing was interrupted by Mike. "Looks like they're coming." He said.
"I like them. That was a good idea you had to see if they wanted to help." Jim said.
"They're good folk. I'm glad they stuck around."
"So you guys blew stuff up for a living before the outbreak?" Ellie asked.
Ellie, Joel, Mike and Jim were standing around a large table.
"Well, he did," Jim said, nodding at Mike. "I was just a science teacher, only a few years out of school when the outbreak hit."
"Yeah?" Ellie said. "Were you in the army or something?" she asked Mike.
"I was," Mike said. "Before the outbreak. I was in the army engineers. We were the part that blew stuff up, made roads, that sort of thing. When I got out, I went into teaching science, too. Then a couple of years later the you-know-what hit the fan."
"Teachers, huh?" Ellie said. "I didn't have the best relationship with teachers."
"Well, that's because in the QZ they were know-it-all dicks." Jim said, getting a giggle out of Ellie. "Well it's true. They thought that because the army was running things that they had to be like a dictator. All that gets you is a bunch of rebellious students who for sure aren't going to want to learn anything. Speaking of learning things, you guys teach us. Tell us how you made the bombs."
Joel and Ellie explained how they made the nail bombs with explosive and nails, scissors and whatever bladed or pointy objects they could find.
Mike asked, "Did you guys ever add sand or some other heavy dirt?"
Joel and Ellie looked at each other and shook their heads. Mike went over to some shelves and pulled things off it. He went to the table and put the nail bomb materials he'd gotten off the shelves in front of him.
"I'll show you." Mike said. He took the metal can that was the bomb's body. "Ellie, can you hand me that small bag over there," he pointed to a bag sitting on the floor.
"Sure," Ellie said, walking over and bending to pick up the bag.
Joel stole a quick glance at Ellie. Damn! Quit checking her out. Joel fussed at himself.
Mike and Jim saw what Joel did and shared a glance and smile.
Ellie quickly picked up the bag and, as she turned around, her eyes met Joel's. She saw Joel's face turn red as she figured out what he was doing. She started to smile. Busted. I just busted Joel. Again. She put the bag on the table.
Mike continued. "Since sand is relatively heavy and inert, you put sand in the middle of the can in a form." He pulled a handful of sand out of the bag and put it in a smaller can inside the bomb casing. He pointed to the gap between the smaller can and the casing. "This is where you put the explosive, pack it in and lift the smaller can out. The explosive has something to push against and makes the outward blast more effective."
"We can set these off with a fuse that you light. But, that can be unreliable." Mike walked over to a stack of flat boxes and picked one up, put it on the table and opened it up. Inside the box, each in its own compartment was a round, metal object. Mike picked one up. "These are practice grenades we found at one of the national guard depots. They won't cause any damage, but we remove the detonator and pin," Mike unscrewed the firing pin and a short cylinder from the grenade. "We've did some experiments and found out that the detonator," he continued, pointing at the cylinder, "will set off the bomb. You really have to give the pin a hard yank to set it off, and I know I don't need to tell you to be careful once the detonator is set in the can. Since we cover the top with nails and whatever other metal fragments, we can seal the detonator in with good old duct tape."
The four worked into the afternoon with a break for lunch. They took turns removing the firing pins from the practice grenades, loading the cans with sand, explosive and shrapnel, and fitting the firing pins and sealing the bomb. Time passed quickly as they told stories from their respective trips west.
"So, what was his name, Bill - did Bill ever get his magazine back?" Jim asked.
"Nope. I guess it's still between Lincoln and Pittsburgh. Besides, he had plenty of them. I mean, they're all the same, aren't they?" Ellie asked.
"Umm …" Mike said, and the three men glanced at each other and turned red.
"I get it," Ellie said, smirking, "you wouldn't know."
"One time, we were in a bookstore, and hunters were all around," Joel said, changing the subject. "I'm hiding, waiting to sneak out of the back. There's this one hunter, standing two feet in front of a shelf of books. I see this hand come up and take a book off the shelf. It's Ellie, she takes it right from right under his nose and he didn't see or hear a thing."
"Yep," Ellie said. "I still have it."
"Well, what book was it?" Jim asked.
"A joke book." Ellie said. "I'll bring it tomorrow if you want to read it. I'm warning you, most of them will make you groan."
"I'm beat," Mike said, putting down the fuse he just finished. "What say we knock off for the day?"
"Just in time for supper, too." Jim said.
"Joanie said she was making a stew tonight. Let's get over there before they run out." Ellie said.
"Well if I know Joanie, there'll be enough for seconds and thirds if you can hold it." Joel said.
The four carefully put the completed bombs and other materials inside a large cabinet that Jim locked with a padlock. The stables were close by and they used the water pump there to wash up.
"Let's go eat." Joel said, putting his arm around Ellie's waist. She did the same to Joel as they walked to the dining hall. This feels good. Ellie thought. I think I know. I think I should say something.
After supper, the daylight was disappearing as Joel and Ellie walked home. Ellie was lost in thought about Joel. At first, Joel saw her as just a package to be protected until he delivered her to the Fireflies. During the trip west, though, she felt his feelings toward her change. She sensed that Joel, who first was so hard and unfeeling, in time grew to care for her and love her, so much so that he rescued her, choosing her over the possibility of a cure. He would never be again the unfeeling, uncaring person this world tried to make him. She could see that Joel grew to see her as a partner, an equal, a companion and maybe more. Ellie felt herself growing close to him, not a closeness borne out of a necessity to survive, but a closeness between two people who, more than anything else, love and care for each other. It strengthened every day they were together and every mile they traveled. She found herself thinking that, after the Fireflies got the cure, before I knew they were going to murder me, they would stay together. She remembered finding a strength she didn't know she had to bring him back from near death because, selfishly, she knew she wanted to be with him. Was it love? Did she love him? Back then, when she asked herself that question she wanted to say 'yes' but couldn't be sure. Now, after thinking about last night and seeing Joel lay his soul bare to her, she knew that she did. If she had any doubts about how he felt about her, they were resolved when they looked in to each other's eyes this morning. She smiled to herself as she knew of the one thing she was certain of: she did love Joel and wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.
Joel was thinking as they walked, too. He remembered at first thinking that he had to get Ellie safely to the Fireflies because, if he did not, he would be failure to himself and a failure to Tess' memory. That Joel, the Joel that Tess knew, was dead. As he thought back, he realized that during his long journey with Ellie, he found something he thought he lost forever: his humanity. He slowly became aware that finally, after all of these years, he loved and cared for someone again. It wasn't like Sarah, though. That seemed like an eternity ago. He loved Sarah, but knew that she would grow up, become her own person and eventually leave him to start her own life. In the months and miles they were together, he saw that Ellie was already her own person, not someone who needed to be nurtured. As he spent time with Ellie, he realized that he loved her just as much, if not more, than Sarah, but in a different way. Joel realized how important she was to him and how much he came to love her as a companion and an equal. This morning, without thinking, he put his hand on her shoulder. Then, when he looked into her eyes and she looked into his, he could see what she felt for him and he hoped he was able to let her see how he felt toward her. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Because I love her. More than anything.
Joel drew himself out of his thoughts. He remarked, "Mike and Jim are good people. I'm glad they are here."
"Me, too," Ellie said. "So are they together? I mean as a couple?"
"I don't know," Joel said. "I guess I never noticed one way or the other."
"I'm pretty sure they are. You can see by the way they act around each other. I'll see them look at each other, or share glances - little things that show they're in love, that they're together as a couple."
"Yeah?" Joel asked.
"Yep." Ellie said. "Like sometimes, when Mike turns around, Jim will check him out."
Joel felt his face turn red as he realized Ellie had seen him earlier, looking at her.
"I saw what you did, when you looked at me," Ellie said with a smile.
"Ell-"
"No, it's okay. We've been with each other a long time. I've seen you, the way you act around me, the things you do when you probably think I wasn't watching or didn't see you. I'm pretty sure I know how you feel about me." They stopped walking. Ellie turned and looked into Joel's eyes. She reached for his hand and held it gently. "I feel the same way about you. I want to be together. I want to be a couple."
Joel reached his other hand up and softly touched her hair. "I do feel that way about you. I want to be with you, to live in this world, together, to face the things we have to face, together. You mean the world to me. I can't imagine living without you."
Ellie spoke. "I've thought a lot. Back, after we left Pittsburgh, the night before Sam turned, Sam and I were talking. He asked me what I was most afraid of. I said 'being by myself. I'm scared of ending up alone'."
"Ellie - that won't - I'll never-"
"I know. And when I realized that, I'll never have to worry about what makes me most scared, because I'm with you. You make me so happy, Joel. Happier than I ever thought I could be. I love you."
"I love you, Ellie."
Joel took Ellie's hands in his own. They shared their first kiss, gentle and sweet, in the cool twilight of Wyoming.
A/N: Okay, I went there. And I'm going to go there. Let me tell you why. When writing fan fiction, I try to keep in mind that I'm writing in someone else's world they created, and my writing must accurately reflect that world. Certainly in our world, a romantic relationship between a fourteen year-old-girl and a late forties guy is unacceptable. This isn't our world, however. This is a post-apocalyptic, dystopian world where ninety percent of the people are dead, and who knows how many are infected. Many of the people surviving are no longer "human" in the common sense of the word. What about the good, decent people who keep their humanity? I feel, in writing for this world and these people, I should take into account the circumstances under which they are surviving and trying to make life better for themselves and their friends. If we consider these circumstances that exist in the world created by The Last of Us, whether or not two people get together and fall in love, I think, depends more on whether both are independent, mature, intelligent and rational and not dictated by some number. This story isn't only going to be just about Joel and Ellie. There are other, new characters that I hope add to the fascinating world that The Last of Us created. That being said, I am going to keep this rated "T". Thank you for taking the time to read. It is most appreciated.
