A/N: Hello, everyone! I must say I'm so glad I discovered ! I've snooped around and read some very amazing stories over these past few months and I just decided I had to join! So, obviously, this is my first attempt at an actual fanfic. I've done ff writings before, but I hear this site is where it's all at. So, please tell me what you think of it! ;) I warn you, though: my writings may not be for everybody. So to keep things safe for now, I'm rating this M. I hope you enjoy!

Summery: A lot can change over a short period of time. That's been the story of Ryan Atwood's life.

Rating: M

Pairings: Ryan/Marissa, Seth/Summer; later Seth/Ryan, Zach/Summer, Alex/Marissa

Warnings: Abuse and assault of the worst kinds, so beware. Slash and FemSlash, so if this isn't your thing, leave now. Gruesome traumas, depression and suicidal themes. Additional warnings later on. If you're easily offended, DO NOT read.

Disclaimer: All things O.C. belong to Josh Schwartz.

The Turning Tide

The Rover pulled to a gradual stop outside the Cohen house. Nobody moved for several minutes. Whether it was because of exhaustion or anxiety, they didn't know.

Sandy quietly looked into the backseat for a moment before turning to his wife in the passenger seat, who stared at him nervously. He tried to smile encouragingly, "You two go ahead and get some sleep. I'm gonna put Ryan to bed."

"Do you want any help?" Seth asked from the darkness behind him. Sandy shook his head.

"No, it's alright. I don't think he needs to be crowded right now anyway."

Kirsten nodded and slowly released her seatbelt and proceeded to climb out of the vehicle. Seth, however, appeared hesitant to move. Sandy didn't object as he himself exited the Rover. He made sure the passenger doors were unlocked before pulling the left one open. In the reclined seat, the boy whom Sandy came to call his second son lay curled up in a black fleece blanket, asleep.

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"We've given him a dose of Seroquel. He should be out for the next twelve hours or so."

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Seth was found for once sitting in the middle seat, next to his best friend – almost protectively. He and his father locked eyes briefly before the former tucked the blanket tighter around Ryan's chin. Sandy managed a minuscule smile as he undid Ryan's seatbelt.

"Get some sleep, son. He'll be okay."

"Are you sure I shouldn't sit with him a while? Keep an eye on him for a bit?"

"We should let him have his space for now. And I don't think he'll be waking up any time soon." Seth still didn't move. "Seth, you've been up the last day and a half at least. What would Ryan wake up thinking if he finds you asleep near his bed? Especially in the state he's in?"

Seth's expression crumpled a little, but he inwardly admitted his father was right; the last thing he wanted to do was panic Ryan. With that resigned thought, Seth haltingly made his way out of the Rover.

Sandy returned to the task at hand. Making sure the blanket was wrapped securely around his son, he secured Ryan's arms around his neck before lifting him up out of the seat. Ryan wasn't the lightest teenager in the world, but the past three months appeared to have taken a toll on him. Sandy couldn't wrap his head around how small he seemed. The weight in his arms could barely be felt compared to what Sandy would have first imagined.

It wasn't a very cold night, but even in sweatpants and a hoodie, Ryan still began to shiver slightly.

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"Ryan, honey, there's nothing to worry about here; you're safe."

"I still don't wanna do this."

"Is there anything we can do to make you feel more comfortable while you're here?"

Despite his sullen expression, the whole family knew the hospital would not budge on their decision to keep him there at least another twenty-four hours.

"Um…you know that…black throw blanket you gave me..?"

"I'll go home right now and get it for you."

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The pool house was as undisturbed as the day Ryan had disappeared: bed made neatly, a small stack of books on his nightstand, dirty-clothes hamper with little more than two wife-beaters and a pair of jeans in it.

Sandy didn't bother turning on the lights; he'd become accustomed to seeing in the dark these past couple of days. In the hospital, as much as Ryan hated being in the dark, the lights had to be kept on the bare minimum. It was either that, or have his eyes bandaged, which Ryan would NOT allow. And Sandy had made sure at least one of the Cohens stayed with him at all times.

Finally, after refusing to sleep for two days, the doctors found it necessary to sedate him. Heavily. They'd hoped that when he woke up, he'd be a little more relaxed. And what better place to wake up than at the one place he felt safest?

Sandy carefully lowered Ryan down onto the futon. He wasn't sure whether it was an act of sleep or pure instinct that he curled in on himself as soon as he made contact with the sheets. Once again, Sandy tucked the prized blanket around him. Then he pulled the comforter up over his still-shaking frame. As he made his way to the door to let himself out, Sandy couldn't shake the feeling that he was forgetting something. After a moment, he turned back and headed towards the bed again. One hand patted down the ruffled blonde hair before he laid a soft kiss to it. He couldn't help the sad smile that worked his way onto his lips as he headed back to the house.

"Goodnight, Ryan."

Chapter One

Five days earlier.

The phone was ringing again. It rang a lot these days. The only difference lately was that no one bothered to jump on the receiver on the first ring. In fact, lately they've been afraid to answer it. It had just been too long for any caller to bear good news.

All three Cohen's, plus Summer and Marissa, sat around the kitchen island. Each had their eyes trained on the phone in front of all of them. Occasionally, they would look up at each other, wondering – daring – anyone to answer it.

On the sixth ring, somebody moved. Kirsten eyed her husband warily. Seth bit his lip as his father reached towards the phone. Summer squeezed her best friend's hand as he pushed 'talk.' Marissa shut her eyes tight as he answered.

"Cohen residence." There was a pause. Then, "No, Julie, we still haven't heard anything. …Yes, Marissa's still here. …She said she doesn't want to leave. Summer's here with her. …Yes, I'll make sure she's home before dark. I'll send Summer with her. …Bye, Julie."

Everyone released a breath none of them were aware they held.

"Sandy, this can't go on," Kirsten gravely said as her husband set the phone down. "It's been three months. Still no one knows anything."

"I know that, Kirsten. But we can't give up. Not now, when he needs us the most."

"I just hope we don't get that magical phone call and it say they found his body in the ocean somewhere," Seth mumbled numbly. Summer and Marissa visibly flinched.

"Seth," Sandy began sternly – determinedly, "He is not dead. Do you understand me?" Seth looked up at him miserably. Everyone knew his thoughts…and remorsefully shared them. "He is not dead. He's a fighter. We'll find him. And we'll bring him home. Trust me." Seth nodded, but clearly didn't dare to believe his father's words.

"I just can't imagine something like this happening," Summer spoke up for the first time. "Especially to him."

"We won't have any answers until - "

Sandy was cut off by another ring from the phone. There was no hesitation this time; Kirsten's shaking hands yanked it up before anyone else could comprehend.

"No, Julie, nothing's changed! Stay off the line incase - " then she was silent. Everyone stared, not daring to wonder who spoke on the other end. They watched as her eyes became troubled. Then moist. "Yes, this is the Cohen house. …Yes. I-I'm Kirsten Cohen. …Who is this? …From where?" she went silent again as they listened, straining to hear the muffled voice. Suddenly, Kirsten closed her eyes, scratching an old coffee stain on the countertop. Her voice became deathly quiet, "No, we're not interested in investing in a new cooling system. …Thank you…" everything seemed to be in slow motion as she hung up and set the phone down.

Seth laid his head down on his arms. This was hopeless. Lord knew how elevated their blood pressures must be at this point. All this anxiety and helplessness and stress were getting to them all. He couldn't remember the last time any of them ate.

It wasn't fair. One day, everything was fine and perfect and Seth, Ryan, Summer, and Marissa were getting ready to head out on a weekend trip to Oregon, where they planned to spend three days with nature. No worries; just them, a few camping necessities, and the stars they were to sleep under. What could have gone wrong?

Then Ryan didn't return home from work the night before they planned to leave. When they called his cell, it went straight to voicemail. When they dropped by the Crab Shack, one of his coworkers, Jason, said he'd left two hours earlier. Figuring he was doing some last-minute shopping, they decided to wait for him at the house.

Dinner rolled by. Ryan was never late for dinner unless he called and let them know. They called Marissa. She hadn't seen him all day. Ten o'clock rolled around. So did eleven. And midnight. At three a.m., Seth's alarm clock went off to wake them up to prepare for their leave. The pool house remained empty. The cell phone remained unresponsive. Ryan remained missing.

The camping trip was forgotten by eight a.m. Summer and Marissa were now in the Cohens' kitchen with Seth while Sandy and Kirsten rang up every resident in Newport they knew. By half-past ten, they finally called the police. Kirsten managed to ring in Caleb's P.I. At around 1:00, Sandy grew impatient and decided to search around the area himself. Seth followed suit. As did Summer and Marissa. Kirsten stayed home in case anyone called the house with information.

Days went by with no news. Ryan's picture was on every daily newspaper, in every window, on every milk carton the Cohens could find. After two weeks, his bike was found rusted and broken among the cliffs by the beach. In the fifth week, Theresa knocked on their door, saying how she'd just got word about Ryan's disappearance. After the seventh week, she returned again to Chino – perhaps clues would show up there.

Two months later, school was getting ready to start. Everyone began to clearly fall apart. Nobody slept if they could help it. Sandy rarely made it to the office anymore; every spare moment he had went to searching for his son, no matter how hopeless everyone deemed it to be. Kirsten could hardly focus on her projects. Finally, Caleb made her take a vacation.

Two-and-a-half months. Seth endlessly threw himself at school work. He did his homework each night only to erase it all and do it all over again, studied until the sun rose, did all the work for group school projects – anything to distract himself. When he became tired, he drank coffee – sometimes a whole pot. When his parents finally cut him off, he took caffeine pills. When his body ran out of gas no matter what he did, he passed out for a day or two. Then the routine started all over again.

Marissa drank more than ever. She didn't want to feel anything. If she drank enough, alcohol made the prospect of Ryan appear as little more than a figment of her imagination. A bad dream. Maybe one of these days, she'd wake up and it would all go away? Maybe she'd sober up long enough and realize there was never anything to worry about. Ryan was just a stranger; a faceless fairytale creature who meant nothing.

Three months. Hearing the phone ring was like hearing a banshee scream: the product of a nightmare. Physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted, they all feared what they'd hear if they dared answer the phone. But they became obsessive. Even if they were given bad news, they didn't care; as long as some kind of news was given about Ryan…at least they knew. Knowing the truth was far better than what their imaginations continued to torture them with. Each day brought a different possible scenario. Each one more horrid than the last.

Now they sat huddled around it like a bunch of cavemen around a fire. Or an ancient tribe worshipping a shrine. Waiting to be blessed with news.

A loud scraping suddenly broke the sound barrier. All eyes shifted to Kirsten abruptly standing from her seat. She headed to the wine cabinet.

"I can't take this anymore."

"Kirsten."

"No, Sandy! I'm tired of watching this household crumble around us. We're killing ourselves because we can't do anything!"

"Having another drink is not going to help us find Ryan any faster."

"Maybe I'm tired of hurting because our son is God-knows-where, where he can be in pain and needing us, and we can't help him! The least I can do is distract myself for a while."

Seth clamped his hands over his ears. Maybe if he blocked everything out, it would all go away.

"Put the bottle down, Kirsten," Sandy was up out of his chair, too. "We can't do anything because there is nothing we can do. All there is left is to wait for now."

"I'm tired of waiting, Sandy. I'm tired of waiting for news that may never come or worse: news that Ryan is - "

"Ryan is not dead! I refuse to believe that!"

Great; now the parents were yelling again. It was a miracle they hadn't yet lost their voices due to all the yelling that had been going on recently. And now Marissa was silently crying. One more piece of drama to deal with. And that damn phone was ringing again!

"Nobody knows how this could have happened! We're no closer to finding him now than we were three months ago! Where's the hope in that, Sandy?"

Damn it, somebody shut that phone up!

"I can't believe you're giving up hope! We give up now, Ryan's lost to us!"

Leave us alone, already! Let us die in agonizing peace!

Summer reached for the phone.

"Ryan has been lost to us!"

"Not if we keep trying!"

"Cohen residence."

"We, his own family, can't find him! What good are we doing?"

"What do you think would happen if we gave up?"

"What? Where?"

"Are you accusing me of giving up on him?"

"What do you want me to think, Kirsten?"

"But, how..?"

"We're all drowning, here. If they don't let us do something to help, time alone is going to kill us!"

"Now of all times we can't afford to sink into a pit of - "

"Cohens!" All attention turned to Summer – even Seth raised his head at the sudden burst of volume. "Ryan's at the Fallbrook Hospital!"

A/N: So…what do you think? Should I continue? Please let me know! All feedback is welcome! ;)