Before I go any further.*MOCKINGJAY SPOILERS*
If you don't want to be spoiled in any way and haven't finished, closed this page.
So here's the part where I explain why I wrote it, what it's about etc. I don't know how to explain really. I got a word prompt and this oddly enough it what I produced from it. Here it goes...
Sitting in the chair of my apartment I look out at the sky. It's early evening out in the Capitol and far too bright to see anything beyond the haze from the city. I look out about as north as I can get from this view and remember. Yes, I can remember him…
"Look up".
"What am I looking at? "
"The star."
"What star?"
"Up in the sky, Cinna."
"I can't. I'm inside working on something."
"Well, get up, go outside, and look up."
Sighing, I put the fabrics down and step out onto my balcony. Looking up into the sky I don't see much. The Capitol's bright lights and business below has cast up a strange haze, like faintly rainbow dipped gossamer draped around the city.
"It's too bright here. I don't see anything."
"Look to the north and then tell me you don't see anything."
I look to where he's directed me and I see it. It is very bright star, standing out against the haze of the city. "I see it."
"What do you think?"
"I dunno. I think it's…beautiful."
Oh come on, I expect more from you than just 'it's beautiful.' Finnick does this to me all the time. Ask me to describe things to him; tell him in detail how I see things in the world. He believes that my eyes are special. I guess it's true, I wouldn't be the designer I am today if it weren't.
"What would make? If you had to design something, looking at the star in the sky as you see it, what would that look like?"
I close my eyes and describe to him what I see. "Well, the way I see the stars through the haze of the city, I see….gauze. Light, airy gossamer or something sheer with a shimmery sheen to it. Like butterfly wings.
"You would put wings on some poor soul?"
"No! Shut up I can really see it now. It would be like a cape…no. A train or a long vest. I can't place it but it would flow in the wind as it is led by the horses in the aren-"
"Ok."
"I'm sorry Fin, force of habit."
"I know. I know you weren't trying to…it's just hard you know?"
"I do. Sort of. Tell me what you see."
"A lot more stars than you see that's for sure."
"Yeah? I haven't been near the sea in a long time. No bright lights Tell me."
"It's just so..wide and free."
"Fin, you know what colors are. Use them and tell me."
"Well, the sky is like, dark blue. A really dark blue, but it is so bold. And the stars…wow." I listen to his breathing for a minute while takes time to choose his words. "It's just so…bright and pure. I truly wish there was more purity like this. I wish that I was still pure."
"You are. The idea that you can recognize it proves so."
"Does it? Anyone who is every really pure doesn't know it, until they're exposed to something that is so dirty to compare it to. Anyone who is truly ever pure is oblivious to the idea that there is something otherwise. I'm not pure Cinna. I haven't been for a long time and I wont ever be."
It's hard to stop him when he's on a tangent like this. Too affected by the life he'd led here in the Capitol. Hell if it hadn't been for that life, I would never have met him. My team had him sent to me one night while I was putting some sketches together and preparing a line. When he came to my room that night, I was supposed to "pay him with secrets." Neither of us imagined we'd be making an even trade.
"I'm leaving."
"What?"
"I'm leaving. I can't stay here anymore."
"Where will you go? And how will you get out? You can't leave the district!"
"Cinna you and I both know, I have enough currency to get me anywhere I want to go. And the only place I want to go is out to sea."
"And Annie?" It pains me to think about her, his one true love. I know he feels something for me, but it will never be what he has with her. They've been through something so catastrophic together; it's no question they'd be together. I feel connected to him like no other, but we could never really be together. There's a part of him I would never fully understand, even if he let me.
"Annie has made her decision. And I have made mine. I love her. God, do I love her, but she won't survive a life of instability and being uncertain of what's ahead. It's why she has to stay."
"when?"
"Tonight."
"How? Where are you going? You can't just up and leave, Finnick!"
"I'm going to follow that star in the sky, Cinna I'm going as far north as I can and…we will just see. This may be the last time I speak to you Cin, but if you need me, just look up and find this star and I'll be with you."
It was the last time I spoke to him. His currency of secrets, about the guard's families that lived in the capitol, whose relatives Snow had killed personally, all of which bought his way beyond the watery gates of his district, and out to open sea. What no secret could grant him passage through was a storm that tossed his makeshift boat across the sea. When he and what was left of the boat turned up on the shore not far from district seven. The Peacekeepers from District Seven were doing a sweep of the shore lines for any suspected rebels when they found him.
I sit back in my chair thinking about the work I've just completed. A custom made suit made of plush Midnight Blue, studded with pure and clear crystals. A canopy of iridescent gossamer with shimmering stars strewn all over it, and a bright gleaming star hanging on the inside so that as the light hits it the entire canopy and anything inside is set a glow with light.
"Thank you for this Cinna, it means a lot to us that you'd risk your ties to the Capitol for us," Mags pats me on the back as we look out onto the beach."
"He was a friend to the Capitol, at least it's inhabitants, but a friend to me as well. It was an honor."
Walking down to the shore, I see the boat more clearly. Fastened at the top of the mast is the canopy I fashioned for Finnick. His burial at sea was set at dusk, dressed in the suit I made for him, clutching his favorite trident, encased under the shining stars of the gossamer. I know he can't see, but I wanted the star I saw that night with him to be with him forever. I know it was a selfish last wish, but my intentions were pure nonetheless. He was secure under the North Star, cloaked in freedom.
Please, reviews/critiques are much appreciated. Good or bad. :)
