He had given me chances, and I had thrown them back in his face like they were garbage. Like he was garbage. I couldn't have been more wrong…

I tossed and turned on my hard white lump of a bed, desperately trying to fall asleep. "What do they even make these things out of?" I mumbled into my pillow. "Rocks?"

I tried to lie still, but gave up seconds later, springing out of bed and beginning to pace across the slick grey floors of my room in Castle Oblivion. No use trying to sleep now, when all that I could do was think.

You idiot! Why didn't you realize this sooner? I berated myself. Now, you've probably gone and blown it. Sora won't trust a word you say now. My pacing increased in tempo. How could you be so stupid?

A knock on the door interrupted my frenzied pacing. "Quiet down in thee, will you?" Demyx said blearily, sticking his head in the doorway. His spiked hair was flattened from sleeping on one side. "SOME of us are trying to sleep here." He yawned, not even bothering to be polite and hide his mouth behind his hand.

"Sorry," I admitted sheepishly, before reverting back to my usual cold façade that I put up for everyone. "I was just… thinking."

"Girl problems or something?" Demyx yawned again. "That's the sort of thing that always kept me up at 3 am."

"Of… of a sort," I said, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. "Nothing too big. You don't have to worry."

Demyx raised an eyebrow. "Yet you woke me up two rooms down the hall just from pacing. I think I have the right to be slightly worried. You're lucky that Axel sleeps like a rock, or he'd have fried you to bits a long, long time ago."

I chuckled softly. "Yeah, I suppose that's something to be thankful for." I sat down on the edge of my bed. "But yeah, nothing too big. Just beating myself up mentally and the like."

Demyx laughed too. "Mind if I come in?" he asked. "Maybe I could give you some advice or something. I don't know if I'd be of much help, though. At the very least, you wouldn't wake anyone else up with your annoying pacing."

I shrugged. "Sure," I said. "Although I'm not that great of company myself." I cleared a spot across from me on the bed, and Demyx plopped down on it with a thunk.

"Man, I hate these mattresses," he groaned, rubbing his backside. "I mean, Xemnas must have been way too cheap when he bought furniture from this place. Or he just… likes really hard mattresses?"

The image of Xemnas shopping at an IKEA popped into my head, and I stifled a laugh. "I should buy a couch," I thought aloud. "It would make a better bed than what I have now."

Demyx grinned. "Then, my friend, you'd be the most popular man in the castle. Give me first dibs on the couch when you buy it, okay?" He flopped onto his back, staring up at the ceiling and the drawings from Namine that I had taped there. "So, what was it that's gotten you so angry at yourself?"

"Well, um," I fidgeted with the hem of my coat. I usually wasn't this upfront with people, and this whole conversation was scaring me. "It's about Sora." There! I thought to myself. You said it.

"Oh, that kid!" Demyx laughed. "He can be a bit clueless sometimes, but he's good with a Keyblade, that one, right?" He pointed to a drawing of me and Sora on the ceiling, and I nodded. "He probably thinks I'm an idiot," Demyx continued. "What about him?"

I took a deep breath. "He gave me second chances, and I blew them. And I ruined the third chances too, and the fourth, and the fifth, and—"

"Why does this matter to you?" Demyx cut right to the point. "You never really cared about being nice to him before. You always wanted to leave him behind."

"I know!" I snapped. "It's just… well, now things are different." I could feel a blush creeping into my cheeks. "Never mind," I added sullenly.

An impish smile crept onto Demyx's face. "Oh," he said suggestively, raising both eyebrows. "So that's the problem."

"Shut up!" I could feel my face continuing to redden. "Don't tell a soul, you hear? Otherwise, I'll… I'll… mess up all the tuning on your sitar!" It was a weak threat, and I knew it.

Demyx laughed. "It's okay, bro," he said. "I'm cool with whatever. See you in the morning." He quickly stood up from the bed and looked at me one more before walking out the door.

I lay back on my bed, trying to figure what was wrong with Demyx's face. Something was off, but what? Then it hit me. His eyes are always smiling, I realized. But they weren't, just now. They looked… in pain.